Seven Wonders Old Version
by LadyMercy
Summary: (COMPLETE)What if the fayth wanted to reward Auron? But how? And the fayth never give anyone anything without a trial. Auron's memories of his life in Zanarkand and in game (Auron OC,TY,WL hints)
1. Missing You

Standard Disclaimer. I do not own FFX or the characters in it. I wish. They are owned by Square-Enix. I do own this story, and my original characters, who begin to appear in Chapter Three.

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Half asleep, he rolled over and his right hand automatically began to search beside him, but when his shoulder landed on a sharp rock, he came fully awake in an instant. "What the hell…" he muttered, as he sat up and looked around. His remaining eye saw the star-bright sky, undimmed by any city's lights, reflected on the ocean before him.

His arms locked around his knee, as he studied the stars above for a sign, and found it, high in the heavens. A constellation he had not seen in over ten years, because the Phoenix only rose from its ashes in the southern night sky on Spira. He was home. He picked up one of the sharp rocks that surrounded him, and fisted his bare left hand around it until it drew blood. He was home, and he was alone.

_Where was the boy? _he finally wondered. _We left together. Where is he? Where am I?_ The man stood, and slowly turned around, attempting to get more of a sense of his current location. The sea, a narrow, rocky shore, a towering cliff. No lights, no village in sight, not even a cluster of huts, no sign of any habitation, human or otherwise. No indication of another washed up traveler like himself, but it was difficult to tell, either there was no moon this night, or it had already set. He decided it would be useless to search the shore in the dark, and possibly dangerous as well, considering the rocks. It would be better to build a fire, and wait for the dawn. If the boy were nearby, the fire would draw him. In the morning, he would have a better chance of figuring out where on Spira he was.

Gathering driftwood, building the fire, kept him occupied for a brief space. Once those tasks were done, the man had nothing to fill the empty hours until the dawn but to sit and watch the flames. He had little need for sleep. He tried to plan his next moves, to discipline his mind to plot out the path of what he needed to do next, but he was too distracted. Disgusted with himself, he removed his coat and spread it on a rock beside the fire to dry as he smoothed a square of sandy ground beside the fire. If he could not calm his mind, he would discipline his body instead. He began working through the first moves of the kata, the martial arts exercises he had practiced nearly every day of his life, and so he passed the night. The boy did not come. _He must have washed ashore elsewhere_.

The sun rose over the ocean, informing him that the cliffs were to the west. He watched the birds wheel overhead, diving for their nests in the cliff face. He knew these birds, he had seen them before. _There was something special about them, what was it?_ The man remained still for so long, the gulls ceased noticing him, and flew closer. Then, he was able to see them clearly. The black, hooked beak and black wingtips were distinctive. These cliff-nesting gulls only lived in one place, the cliffs below the Mi'ihen Highroad, north of Luca.

Once he realized where he was, the man knew that he had been the victim of one of his old friend's cruel jokes. _Damn you, Jecht_, the man thought bitterly, _after ten years, couldn't you even put me near a decent road I could reach_?

He knew the Mi'ihen Highroad was in the hills behind the sheer rock face, but without climbing gear, _and a partner, agonizing thought, banish it! _ the only possible result would be a fast trip to the Farplane. He considered this for a long moment, and was tempted, but he could not leave with his promises unfulfilled. Since he could not climb, he would have to walk.

He began the long trek south to Luca, where he hoped to hear what had transpired in the ten years he had been absent, and perhaps, find news of the boy. This was not a well-traveled area. _Hell, it wasn't even a path, just a rocky coastline barely wide enough to pass at high tide in some places_. The fiends in this area would surely not prove difficult, and the minor challenge of traveling alone would keep his mind focused on the journey in front of him.

It took him a little over a week of rough hiking to reach Luca, less than half the time it would have taken a normal man. Being unsent, he had less need for food or sleep than the living, but he drove himself almost past his limits on this journey, using exhaustion and deprivation to keep some inner demon at bay.

He arrived the day before the Blitzball tournament celebrating Maester Mika's fifty years as Maester. This, he had learned in the first café he found after he hit town. _I'm surprised Mika is still around, but at least my timing is good. There will be a team coming in from Besaid in the morning. If Braska's daughter has turned summoner, she will probably be on the ship as well. If not, I will at least get news of her. The tournament will also draw the boy_, he thought to himself. _I need only wait. Wait, and think of the task ahead_.

As he left the café, the patrons at tables began whispering to one another, "Did you see who just left? Wasn't that Sir Auron? I thought he was dead. Where's he been the last ten years? Are you sure that was him?"

Auron rented a room at a small inn in an out-of-the-way neighborhood, a place he remembered from his journey with Jecht and Braska. He paid extra for the innkeeper's silence, as he had no desire to be disturbed. He had caught some rather curious glances from passers by in the Luca crowds. _I am here to fulfill my promises to my friends, and then to rest. Nothing more_.

In the morning, Auron sat in a back corner of the small common room of the Inn, and watched the pre-game show on the sphere, doubly hidden from the other patrons by the shadows and his high collar and dark glasses. The blitz announcers were dismissive of the Besaid team and its chances in the tournament, but he was unable to keep the relief from his face when the boy, Tidus, appeared on the sphere with his recently adopted teammates. _Tidus was the only link with…NO…do not think of it._ Auron turned his face away from the sphere, his expression behind his glasses clouded and dark.

His attention turned back to the sphere when he heard the beginning of an interview with "Summoner Yuna" from the island of Besaid. _So she had followed in Braska's footsteps, and wasn't that a Ronso standing behind her? Had Kimahri stayed with her all this time? I chose better than I knew_, he mused.

Auron timed his arrival in the stadium to coincide with the end of the Aurochs' first game in the tournament, since it was not exactly certain that the Aurochs would be playing a second game. He had chosen not to watch the first game because in Zanarkand, he had seen the boy play enough Blitzball to last several lifetimes. And yet, he stood in the stands and watched as Tidus led the Aurochs during the first three fourths of the Championship game. In the past five years, he had learned to take a father's pride in the boy's accomplishments. Alone, he allowed himself to savor the bittersweet emotion, because he knew that when they saw each other after the game, Tidus was going to be angry as hell with him for a very long time.

Two completely impossible events occurred almost simultaneously. The hapless, usually hopeless, Besaid Aurochs won the Championship. And the Luca Stadium was absolutely infested with fiends. In later years, Blitz aficionados would be hard pressed to say which event had seemed more fantastic at the time. In the present, the fans cheering had turned to hysteric screaming, and the crowds were fleeing in panic. Auron found himself face to face with a vouivre, and met it with a sardonic smile, just before he sliced it in two.

He hefted his katana to his shoulder and let a small, tight smile twist his lips behind his collar as he pivoted to face the owners of the two voices that had just shouted his name. One, he had recognized even before he turned. Tidus, the boy he had helped to raise; seventeen, bleached-blond hair, blue eyes, and not quite fully-grown, either physically or emotionally. The other was called…Wakka, that was it, the captain of the Besaid Blitz squad. This Wakka had a man's body, but a boy's face under that impossibly styled red hair. _He is too innocent, his eyes are too trusting. If he is one of Yuna's guardians, the journey will change that soon enough._

The frenzy of the crowd fleeing the stadium had nothing to do with the game; the place now seemed to hold more fiends than fans. _It was going to be a long afternoon_, Auron thought, as a Garuda attacked them. The three of them handled the big flyer easily, even though the boys fought one-handed for part of the battle; attempting to cover their noses and mouths, as the monster's stench proved to be almost as potent a weapon as either its beak or its claws. _Tidus has learned something about how to use that sword_, Auron noted with some amusement, _and this Wakka knows how to handle that Blitzball as a weapon to good effect_. But Auron considered the number of monsters in the stadium, and wondered how long the three of them could manage. Tidus' heartfelt "Gimme a break!" could have been said by any of them. The young Maester, Seymour Guado, did give them a "break", calling his aeon, Anima, to dispatch all the fiends at once. Auron was surprised by this aeon; it was one that Braska had not possessed. The aeon was dark, twisted somehow, or maybe the Guado was. Anima's attack was pure pain, it cried as it destroyed the fiends, and its tears were blood.

When the stadium was cleansed of its filth, Auron briefly noted that the Guado maester seemed quite pleased with his performance, _maybe too pleased_, before fixing his attention on Tidus. Now that the adrenaline rush of the battle was over, the boy was glaring at him in undisguised fury. Wakka looked from Auron to Tidus in awkward confusion.

"You gonna be okay, brudda? ." he asked Tidus. "I gotta take care of the team and be ready to go with Yuna pretty quick."

"Yeah, sure, fine, whatever," Tidus replied dismissively, still staring at Auron, who seemed unmoved by the boy's intensity. "Say goodbye to everyone for me. Okay, Wakka?"

"Sure thing. You take care of yourself, ya?"

"You, too, Wakka. Take care of Yuna."

"Wait," Auron interrupted. "Do you know where we might find Lady Yuna?"

"Sure I do, Sir Auron. I'm one of her guardians. We're…uhh…supposed to meet at the north stairs in a couple of hours, so Yuna can continue her pilgrimage"

"Thank you," Auron replied gravely to Wakka, then, he turned to Tidus and said gruffly, "We should go. We have much to discuss." Auron began walking away, out of the stadium. Tidus stood watching Auron walking away, anger growing by the minute. Auron looked over his shoulder then, one eyebrow raised, and said coldly, "Are you coming?" the tone of his voice sounding as though he were talking to a child. Tidus exchanged a glance with Wakka, and then followed Auron. Angry as he was with the man, he had to follow him. Auron was the only one who might be able to tell him what in the hell was going on.

Auron led Tidus out of the stadium and down to the Luca docks; aware of the boy's angry eyes on his back every step of the way. He stopped them both on one of the cargo docks, surrounded by boxes and crates, struck by a sudden flash of memory.

_Braska, Jecht, and I, after a Blitzball game Jecht had asked me to capture on a sphere for this boy, back in Zanarkand, capturing Jecht as well, sniffling back a rush of homesickness_. _And now, I'm going to tear that same boy's world apart._

Tidus was furious with Auron. Nothing the older man said made any sense. Auron believed it was better that way. _Tidus thought everything must be my fault, that I dragged him to Spira. He didn't want to believe that Jecht and I knew Braska as well, that we 'defeated' Sin together ten years ago. That if it was anyone's 'fault' that I went to Zanarkand, that he was in Spira, now, it was Jecht's. He refused to accept that Jecht was Sin. I couldn't blame him. My unwillingness to accept that fact had killed me ten years ago._

If the boy was off-balance, it kept him focused away from questions Auron did not want to answer. Or rather, questions he wanted to answer even less than the ones the boy was asking, which were bad enough. _Keeping the boy from asking questions that I will refuse to answer, or even listen to, will be a challenge. It will be a far simpler task if Tidus continues to be angry with me._ But Auron was unable to maintain his indifference in the face of the boy's obvious distress. The habits of the last few years were too strong to overcome, and he placed a comforting hand on the boy's shaking shoulder for a brief moment, saying, "It's all right."

But Auron quickly retreated back behind his impassive mask, and informed the boy that he was going to offer his services to Yuna, clearly implying that Tidus was welcome to come along, if he chose. Auron walked away from Tidus, away from the docks, toward the north stairs and the exit from Luca that led to the Mi'ihen Highroad. Tidus followed him reluctantly through the crowded streets.

As he neared the party waiting on the platform, Auron studied the members of Yuna's party, attempting to judge their fitness as guardians. Wakka he had already met. He locked eyes with the Ronso, and they each bowed slightly. _Kimahri, you son of a…what the hell are you doing here?_ _The rest didn't really matter. Kimahri and I alone can get Yuna to Zanarkand_. He saw the woman next, and knew immediately that she was a black mage, and a young one, at that. _What is it with these black mages? Why do the young ones always have to show off? That stupid dress is too heavy for the south, too exposed for Macalania and Gagazet, and those belts will announce our presence to every fiend within a hundred yards. So, she has to use personal spells to keep cool, to keep warm, to keep silent, just to show how powerful she is. Ridiculous_.

At last, behind the mage, Braska's daughter, Yuna. He had last seen her in person as a little girl, clinging to her father, begging him not to leave. Now, she was a grown woman, a summoner on her own pilgrimage. When he saw her on the sphere, Auron thought she looked just like her mother, Jenni, but seeing her now, he saw Braska's gentleness, and Braska's determination, in her blue and green eyes. She was his lord's daughter, and he had sworn to Braska that he would guard her. So Auron offered his services, as guardian, to Yuna. Strictly speaking, he offered both his, and the boy's. She accepted.

The early trials of the road kept him looking ahead, not behind. He convinced himself it was better this way, or, at least, he tried. Tidus attempted to draw him out about Zanarkand on several occasions, but the older man easily fended him off, bluntly at first, later in anger, finally with icy coldness. Eventually, the boy gave up, especially as his interest in Yuna grew. Tidus and the summoner spent more time together as the pilgrimage progressed. Unless a way was found to change her fate, the relationship was doomed. The boy was the only one who didn't know. It was painful for everyone to watch. But doubly so for Auron. Too many echoes, too many memories. At the Travel Agency on the Mi'ihen Highroad, watching the two of them looking at the sunset, Auron wanted…_too many things that were not meant to be_. He went back inside.

Tidus wanted to wait for nightfall by the Moonflow, to watch the pyreflies gather. Auron thought, _He does not know that the sight of the moonlilies at twilight is considered to be one of the seven wonders of Spira. I refuse to linger here for this…_ Aloud, Auron only commented from behind his collar, "We're not waiting till nightfall," implying that he considered the delay a waste of time.

It took the party almost six weeks to reach Guadosalam, and, by the time they arrived, they had added one more to their group, the Al Bhed girl called Rikku, Yuna's cousin, and the most unlikely guardian of all. This must have been the largest summoner's party ever recorded. Auron suspected the temples might not be thrilled. _Too many survivors_, he thought to himself, somewhat grimly.

Seymour Guado was a bastard, whatever his parents' marital status. There was something inside him that was just…twisted, for lack of a better word. Seymour hadn't merely asked Yuna to marry him. He had also tried to sow dissension. He upset Yuna with his so-called offer. Attempted to split the party as to whether it would be better for Spira for her to accept or not. Hinted about Auron's status. _And how had the bastard picked that phrase "the actors must play their parts"?_ It brought back too any memories. Tidus was in such pain. He had so clearly fallen in love with Yuna. Auron didn't want to let it bother him, but he felt for the boy's anguish. All of it raised too many ghosts that he had wanted to keep buried until this journey was over.

The Farplane, the one place in Spira Auron did not want to, and could not, go. Yet, Yuna wished to visit, to consult with her father about Seymour's proposal. He would wait outside, since he could not go in himself. He could not allow himself to be tempted and ask the boy to look. There was nothing that could be done. He sat on the stairs, struggling with himself, not to say or do anything to indicate the debate raging within. The boy was still talking. _Damn, he could talk forever. So could the Al Bhed. Would he never shut up and just go! Finally_. But, just as the boy's arm swung past him, Auron's hand shot out and gripped it. Tidus stopped walking and looked down, as the older man released his arm. Auron whispered, his voice so hoarse the boy could barely hear him, "See if she's there."

"No problem," was the equally quiet reply, and Tidus moved on into the Farplane. There was no need for either of them to identify who 'she' was. As the boy went through the barrier, Auron realized that he was, after all, still a fool, and that 'she' would have told him so, saying that meant he was 'only human'. Rikku couldn't see the sad smile he hid behind his collar.

Tidus found the Farplane a place of revelations. Wakka finally admitted his brother Chappu might be truly dead. Maybe. Lulu realized that not only was Chappu dead, but that she was still alive, and that it might be time for her to move on with her life. Tidus saw Yuna with her parents. His attempt to call his old man failed, since Jecht was not precisely dead, but he couldn't think about his dad without thinking about his mom, who did appear. When Yuna explained how his mother could be in the Farplane, he understood Auron's request a little better. If his mom was here, then 'she' could be, too. After he talked to Yuna about his mom's death, he tried calling 'her' for Auron, like he promised, but 'she' didn't come. Yuna was a little puzzled at his delay, but he didn't have a chance to explain before Lulu and Wakka asked if Yuna was ready to leave. _Besides, it isn't my business to explain, anyway, it's Auron's_.

Tidus didn't understand why this Lord Jyscal was such a 'great man', but then, he didn't exactly get the whole Yevon thing, either. He thought the Guado had probably been perfectly happy before Jyscal brought them the teachings, and it sure seemed like Rikku's people were just as happy without the teachings. _Whatever_. But when they were all leaving, it sure upset everyone when this Jyscal Guado guy tried to get out of the Farplane after he'd already been sent in. Dead people just weren't supposed to do that. The whole scene gave Tidus the shivers every time he thought about it.

Afterwards, Tidus didn't have a chance to tell Auron anything. He wasn't sure he wanted to, either. The young man wasn't certain, but he didn't think this was going to be the 'good' news. By the time the group learned that Seymour had left Guadosalam, it was too late to make any sense to head out. They got rooms at the inn again. The three women occupied a suite together, leaving the men in four small single rooms. Tidus waited until traffic in the halls had quieted down before seeking the older guardian's room.

Tidus knocked on Auron's door, and heard the man say, "Enter", so he stepped inside. It was clear from the minute he saw Auron that the man had taken the opportunity of the relative safety and privacy of the inn room to let his guard down, at least for one night. Tidus saw Auron as he had not seen him since Zanarkand, a couple of nights before the last Blitz game. Sitting on the bed, knee up to his chest, clad in just pants and a t-shirt, no glove, coat, armor, collar or glasses. The lamplight caught the heavy gold ring now on Auron's right hand. The older man had been keeping it concealed within the bracer glove since they had arrived in Spira, so Tidus had been wondering if Auron still wore it. Now the boy knew.

Without his armor, Auron seemed more open, more, well, relaxed. He seemed like the man Tidus had known the last five years in Zanarkand, not the stranger from the first five years, or the last six weeks

Auron raised one eyebrow. "Auron," Tidus choked, cleared his throat, started again. "Auron, I called her on the Farplane like you asked. She wasn't there."

The older man's face contorted in a mask of pain. His good eye closed. "Get out," he said roughly.

"But, Auron," Tidus trailed off miserably.

"Get out." There was anger now, but his eye was still closed. Tidus fled the room, slamming the door behind him in his haste. At the sound of the boy's retreating footsteps, the man reached blindly for the jug of liquor. He brought it to his lips for a long pull of the fiery drink.

Auron had hoped the drink would bring oblivion. He should have known better. Being unsent had advantages and disadvantages. Among the advantages were increased endurance and stamina. He could do without food and sleep if necessary. He had just found one of the disadvantages. He could drink, and it seemed that it did lower his inhibitions, but as the level of spirits in the jug steadily fell he became aware that he could no longer get so drunk that he would pass out. He definitely could not get drunk enough to forget. By reducing his inhibitions, the liquor made him do something he had been desperately trying not to do since he left Zanarkand nearly two months ago. It made him remember…

End Chapter One

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Author's Note: All chapter titles are song titles, and the lyrics or mood of the song relate directly to the chapter. The title of this chapter is from the song "Missing You", originally performed by John Waite, and specifically refers to the lyrics, "You don't know, how desperate I've become, and it looks like I'm losing this fight," as well as the chorus, "I ain't missing you, I keep lying to myself. And there's a storm that's raging, through my frozen heart tonight, I ain't missing you at all."


	2. Holding Out for a Hero

Standard Disclaimer. I do not own FFX or the characters in it. They are owned by Square-Enix. I do own this story, and my original characters, who begin to appear in the next chapter. The title of the chapter is from a song by Jim Steinman and Dean Pitchford, originally performed by Bonnie Tyler. In the context of this story, Auron is the hero, but, in the context of the game, the fayth needed two heroes; Jecht is the "street-wise Hercules" in the song, and Auron is, not the white knight, of course, but the red knight, both ready "to fight the rising odds."

* * *

Auron sat up all night in his room at the inn in Guadosalam drinking, and remembering…

…Spira…Zanarkand…Ten years ago…

It all began in Besaid, when I promised Braska I would take Yuna away from Bevelle, away from the conflict, and bring her to the island...after he had defeated Sin…after he had died. Then, in Zanarkand, I promised Jecht I would go to his Zanarkand, and watch over his son. I gave him my word that I would find a way, just before he followed Braska and Yunalesca, and met his own fate.

When I gave my word to Braska, I expected that I would be the one to escort Yuna from Bevelle to Besaid. When I gave my word to Jecht, I did not know how I would find a way to keep it, only that I would find a way, or die trying. Then I watched them sacrifice themselves in a vain attempt to defeat Sin, and I learned that everything we had ever been taught…everything I had ever believed in… was a cheat and a lie. I just couldn't accept it. In a blazing fury…no… in a blinding, blundering, idiotic combination of grief, despair, and hubris… I returned to Yunalesca, and tried to avenge them, but she struck me down with a single blow. Somehow, I dragged myself down Mt. Gagazet, but my strength failed me just outside Bevelle.

Kimahri found me by the side of the road. We were both warriors, we both knew that my wounds were beyond healing. He asked if there was anything that he could do for me, very formally, in the Ronso way. He called it, "the last wish of a man facing death." I told him my request was not for myself, but for my dead lord. Then, I asked that he go into Bevelle and search for Yuna, describing her as the daughter of High Summoner Braska, and that he escort her to the island of Besaid, on my behalf. He gave me his word, and left me to die.

But I died alone by the side of that road; my lord was dead… and there was no summoner to send me to the Farplane.

_So I waited, and watched the pyreflies gather inside the spent shell of my body, and wondered exactly how many of Yevon's teachings about the dead would prove true, and how many would prove false. I knew the sendings for truth, I had witnessed Braska perform many, I believed in him, and I believed in the evidence of my own eyes. But as for the rest, I would learn the truth for myself. _

_The 'teachings' stated that the dead refused to accept their fate. I had been promised to the warrior monks as a boy, begun training as soon as I was considered old enough, sooner; actually, I had begun by sneaking in to my older brother's lessons. I had known my wounds were mortal for almost as soon as they were dealt. Even if I had not, I had had plenty of time to become aware of that fact, as I dragged myself down the mountain. Death had been a release from agonizing pain. But not a release from my promises. My promises, my obligations bound me to the world._

I did not resent or envy the living. I felt no anger toward the living. I felt an obligation toward the dead. Kimahri gave me his word that he would take Yuna to Besaid. But I had given my word to Braska. Kimahri's obligation to me did not relieve me of my obligation to my lord. And no one could relieve me of my obligation to Jecht.

_I 'saw' that the dead were not lost, as the priests had always told us. I needed no guidance. There were three paths, clearly laid out before me. One led to the Farplane. I could see myself, standing next to Braska. His face was serene, his form unbroken; whatever I chose, I would cherish this memory, so different from my last sight of him, his body riven by the sword of his Aeon on its way to Sin._

_The second path led to a Behemoth King wearing the remains of a tattered red coat. So, there had been a kernel of truth in the teachings, after all. I could become a fiend, if I chose, or if I remained indecisive for too long._

_Down the third road I saw myself…changed. The right side of my face was a ruin; a hideous scar sealed my eye. But my sword was over my shoulder, and I carried it easily. It was clear that down this path, I was able to bear the weapon. My appearance didn't matter. Jecht appeared ahead of me along this path, shouting, "Auron, get moving! You gotta choose this way. I can get you to Zanarkand now. You found the way."_

_And in that moment, I made my choice, and my…self…slammed back into my body. I put my hands up to my face, and felt the scar I had seen in the vision. All my other wounds appeared to have closed in the same manner. I was whole, except for my eye, and I was unsent. In this form, I knew I could act in and on the world. It seemed I could go to Zanarkand; I could fulfill my promises. I stood, and walked toward the Sea. _

_Jecht met me there, and I rode his Sin back to Zanarkand. We…talked…on the journey. Mostly Jecht talked, I listened._

_It was the strangest place I had ever seen, until I reached Zanarkand. Jecht was…there…just as he had been before he became Braska's fayth. Wild black hair, snapping black eyes, black goatee, tattoo across his chest, and loud and arrogant as ever. Still the same Jecht. "Where am I?" I asked him._

_"Inside Sin, where'd you think you were?"_

_"Then what's this supposed to be?"_

"Zanarkand. It's Zanarkand, but like in my worst nightmare."

_"Your Zanarkand is like this? I thought you said it was beautiful."_

_"Auron, calm down. The real Zanarkand is beautiful. This is just a bad dream. Speaking of bad dreams, man, what the hell happened to you?"_

_"Yunalesca," I tried to keep my voice flat, not to let my emotions, my disgust with myself, show._

"Man, what were you thinking, goin' against Yunalesca like that? That's the stupidest thing I ever heard of. Even worse than when I attacked that damned shoopuf. I mean, you weren't even drunk, and hell, I had a fighting chance against that shoopuf." He was lecturing me, and he was enjoying it. He hadn't had many opportunities during our journey. I had always been the one lecturing him. "Auron, you weren't supposed to have to die to go back and watch over my boy, you know." I remember he paused for a second, and shook his head, but then he went on.

"Anyway, look, Auron, we don't have much time, and there's a bunch of stuff I have to tell you before we get to Zanarkand. We both know now that Sin's not the real problem. There's someone else in here controlling everything. He's the one we have to take out. When Braska…called me…and I beat Sin…even before Miyoshi was dead, this Yu Yevon character had already grabbed my mind…"

_I remembered Jecht's voice trailing off, and I remembered hearing a roaring sound in my ears, and it wasn't until I was on the ground working my jaw after Jecht punched me that I realized that the roaring I had heard had been coming from my own throat. Yevon was not god; Yu Yevon, the father of Yunalesca, controlled Sin. I stood to face my friend's concern, my hands balled into fists at my side._

_"Hey, Auron, you okay? We ain't got time for this right now."_

_"I understand…I'm sorry. Who was Miyoshi?"_

_"The last Sin."_

_"She must have been Lady Yocun's fayth."_

_"I guess. She's the one who told me about Yu Yevon. She told me to resist him as long as I could, to try to keep a piece of myself separate as long as possible. When I asked her how long, she said somethin' weird. She said, ' the Blitzer lasted ten years', but that don't make no sense. I mean, I just got here."_

_"Lord Ohalland, one of the High Summoners before Lady Yocun, was also a Blitzball player. He must have chosen one of his teammates as his fayth. Maybe she meant that his fayth resisted ten years, before he lost himself to Yu Yevon," I said, gritting my teeth as I said the name._

_"Then she said somethin' even weirder, just before she…died. She said, '__Now, you are more than a dream...but your Zanarkand...is a dream...a dream of the fayth. It is summoned, as we are summoned.' What was she talkin' about?"_

_"I don't know, Jecht."_

_"It doesn't matter, Auron. We still gotta find a way to break the cycle."_

_"I know."_

_"And that means, we gotta find a way to beat this Yu Yevon guy, not just beat Sin."_

_"I know that, Jecht, I know."_

_"Auron, you're the only one who knows. You gotta come back to Spira. And…you gotta bring my boy. I think it's important that he comes back with you, or that you come back with him. I don't know which. But I still want him to have his chance, you know, in Zanarkand? To be a star Blitzball player. I still want him to see that view from the top, like we talked about. I want to give him those ten years, Auron. Take care of him for me. In ten years, I'll come back for you, and take you both to Spira. I can hang on that long. If that other guy did, I know I can." For just a second, he sounded just like the old Jecht, cocky as hell._

_Then he changed. "Auron, this Yu Yevon is already trying to get at me. I can feel him… in my head. Right now, I can keep him out, but I know it'll just get tougher and tougher. I saw Miyoshi's face, at the end. She remembered…everything she'd done when she was Sin. She was glad to go. Auron, you have to promise me something. If you can't find a way to break the cycle, promise me that in ten years, you'll make sure that someone takes me out. Hell, my boy probably hates me enough to do the job himself. I know I ain't been much of a father."_

_"Jecht, I give you my word," I told him, adding silently, even if I have to offer myself in your place._

_It had seemed that Jecht was satisfied with my answer, because he nodded abruptly and announced, "We're here. Auron, you're gonna have to think of somethin' to tell my wife and kid. I don't know how Linnya's gonna take the news. It won't be easy for her, I know." He shook his head sadly. " Watch over my boy, I'll be back for you in ten years."_

_He offered me his hand to shake, and when I took it, I found myself on the Zanarkand shore, south of the ruins, except… it wasn't a ruin anymore, it was like nothing I had ever seen, except the nightmare version inside Sin. This was Zanarkand as it had been, alive and awake in the night, the lights of the city closer and brighter than a thousand stars._

…Guadosalam

The room was growing cold, the fire was nearly out. He got up and threw some more kindling into the hearth, stood waiting for the small branches to start burning. He just wanted to add more fuel to the fire and try to get some sleep. _No._ Now that he had begun, he should continue...

End Chapter Two

* * *

Author's note: I would like to thank one of my own personal heroes; rjthclown, who has been working with me on editing and beta-reading the re-write of this story. Just…thank you.


	3. Desperado

Standard Disclaimer. I do not own FFX or the characters in it. They are owned by Square-Enix. I do own this story, and my original characters. The song "Desperado" was written by Glenn Frey and Don Henley, performed by the Eagles.

* * *

It was after midnight, according to the clock beside the bed. Now that the fire was going again, Auron sat back down, and reached for the jug on the bedside table. The lamplight caught the heavy gold ring, and he closed his eye for a moment, then he took a long drink. He still found it necessary to deceive himself; that he required the alcohol in order to make this journey into his memories… 

…Zanarkand…Beginning ten years ago until five years ago…

Just seeing the city lights in the night, he could tell that it was larger than either Bevelle or Luca, perhaps larger than both combined. He had no way to judge what time of night it was, there were so many people walking the streets, it might as well have been midday for all that he knew. He looked up into the sky, to see if he could tell anything from the stars, but the lights of the city were so bright, that most of the constellations were lost in the glow. He could barely make out Ramuth, even though the star at the tip of his staff was normally the brightest light in the northern sky.

_Jecht said I was going to have to think of something to tell his wife and son. Where should I go while I'm thinking?_ Auron looked around, completely bewildered by the noise coming from all the buildings around him and the number of people rushing by him. He remembered something Jecht used to talk about, when the man was either nostalgic, or drunk. _I know, I'll go around to the eastern side of the city, and wait for the sunrise._

Auron sat up all night, scanning the eastern horizon, and watched for the dawn. He had expected to make plans, but in the end, he just sat, raw with grief, and numb from shock. He didn't plan, he didn't think, he didn't even feel. For that one night, he just watched, and waited for the sun's rays to appear in the distance. He saluted the dawn with his empty tokkuri, whispering, "See you in ten years, Jecht." Then he began to take stock of himself.

The tokkuri was empty because he had emptied it on his way down Gagazet and never refilled it. He realized that he was thirsty, and slightly hungry as well. Not nearly as hungry or thirsty as he should have been…after…what…more than an entire day without either food or drink, but he now perceived that there were some physical limitations to his unsent status. He had also not slept in that same span of time. He was not yet tired, but he could already tell that he would reach that state at some point, that he could not go indefinitely without sleep. He expended energy, and needed to recover it through rest, but it seemed that he could easily go without sleep for one night and suffer no ill effects. Next, he slipped a dagger from his boot and used the blade to pierce the pad of his thumb. The cut bled, so he placed the knife back in its sheath and sucked the cut clean of blood while he thought for a moment. His heart pumped blood, his lungs drew breath, everything still seemed to work. It was as though the…life force, whatever that was, that had died outside Bevelle, had been replaced by the pyreflies. They were just more efficient. _I am unsent, but it seems I am not immortal. I must be as careful, as vigilant, as I ever was. I cannot neglect my training. I know I can be wounded, so I must assume I can be poisoned, or otherwise afflicted, as well. And I must remember my purpose… or I will become a fiend._

Then he stood, and reached inside his coat for the pouch of gil that he always carried, and fingered the few coins he had left. _I wonder what these are worth, here?_ he mused as he started walking into the city. He halted in his tracks. _What am I going to do with myself for ten years?_ Eventually, he shook himself out of his hesitation, and continued on.

Jecht had always described his Zanarkand as 'the city that never slept'. Last night, Auron had seen so many people on the streets that he thought he had finally understood what Jecht had meant. This morning, the streets were positively jammed with people. It seemed immeasurably more crowded than Luca at tournament time, and Auron felt…uncomfortable. At first, he put it down to his own awkwardness. He kept staring up, at all the tall buildings, at the machina everywhere, trying to take in everything all at once. It reminded him of the first time his parents had brought him to Luca, when he was five years old. He had been born outside the city; he had not seen any place larger than a farming settlement until then. The first time he had seen Luca; he had felt just like this. He seemed to be expending a great deal too much energy just in keeping his expression neutral, when what he really wanted to do was point out every fascinating thing he saw. Except that he had no one to point the interesting things out to. He was completely alone in this crowd, in this world. He stopped looking up, and began noticing the other people around him. That was when he realized that too many people were staring at him, rudely, and then turning away. One woman, with a young child, nearly shrieked when she saw him, then picked up her little girl and hurried her away, keeping the child's face turned away from him.

Auron made his way to the edge of the crowd, and saw himself reflected in the glass of the building he stood beside. As he had seen in the vision, the right side of his face was indeed a ruin. A long scar ran from his hairline, through his right eye to the middle of his cheek. A second scar ran so close beside it that it almost seemed like part of the same wound, unless one was looking extremely closely, starting at his eyebrow, ending almost at his jaw. His right eye was sealed behind the scar. The fact that his hair had suddenly gone gray at the temples was not the issue; those scars were enough to frighten small children. _These would be badges of honor on Spira. Here, I must find a way to make them less… obvious…or I will not even be able to deliver a message to Jecht's wife and son, let alone watch over the boy._

He found a shop selling dark glasses; they seemed much like the goggles the Al Bhed used on Spira. The opaque lenses concealed the worst of the damage. He surrendered some of his meager store of gil in return for the 'sunglasses' the shopkeeper called them, and returned to the street. Strangers now seemed to look through him, but after observing their behavior with each other, Auron decided this was normal. Further observation showed him the truth of something Jecht had said, but had seemed so impossible that he hadn't believed it could be true. _No one had a weapon; therefore, no one needed a weapon, so there really are no fiends here. How am I supposed to earn my keep for ten years?_

Jecht had described the way to his place so many times, Auron thought he could find it easily, but the size and complexity of the maze of streets and passages was more confusing than anything he had ever anticipated. He needed to request directions several times, and in the end, was forced to use a machina that one person referred to as a 'wayfinder', in order to finally reach his destination. His experience with the machina left him shaken. Making the leap between knowing that the 'teachings' regarding machina being the cause of Sin must be lies, and requesting assistance from a machina in the space of a few days…his brain was still stumbling over this when he knocked on Jecht's door.

The door was opened by a small, towheaded boy with bright blue eyes, who challenged, "What do you want?" as a woman stepped into the doorframe behind the child, who was obviously her son.

_This must be Linnya, and the boy…must be Tidus_.

The woman's light brown hair was mussed, as if she had just been woken, but she looked at him expectantly, almost eagerly. "Can I help you?" she asked Auron, searching his face.

"My name is Auron. And you must be Linnya. Jecht talked a lot about you," he said, very gravely.

Something in his tone, or his expression, confirmed her worst fears, without his having to say a single word. She began to weep, silently, as she grabbed his arm and pulled him inside.

Linnya did not sob, or scream, or yell. She simply wept, silently, while Auron told her the simplest version of their journey that he could think of, while he prayed to whatever force was left to pray to that she would accept his half-truth and not ask him too many questions. All the time that Auron talked, the boy alternated between staring at the stranger and watching his mother, wishing that this guy would leave them alone so that he could just take care of his mom, now that his old man was finally dead.

The story Auron told was that Jecht had washed up on the shore of Bevelle, many miles south of Zanarkand, more than three months ago. How he had traveled so far, Jecht had said he didn't remember, and Auron did not elaborate. Jecht, Auron and another man had set out from Bevelle, to try to get Jecht back to Zanarkand. The trip had proven to be extremely hazardous, and both Jecht's and the other man's lives had been lost along the way. Since he had promised Jecht that he would watch over his family, Auron would make a place for himself here in Zanarkand. _Somewhere, somehow, doing something._

Auron waited for Linnya to condemn him for his lies, as he was condemning himself. _Lies of omission are still lies_. But she just sat there, holding herself and rocking in place. The boy walked over and put his arms as far around his mother as they could reach.

Auron felt suffocated in this place, he wanted to leave. "Is there anything I can do?" he asked hesitantly.

It was the boy who answered. "Please…leave us alone."

"I'll return in a few days, if I may?"

Linnya looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Please come back, Auron. I want to hear more about your trip with my husband. Please come back soon."

"I promise."

…

He walked through the city, uncertain of what he should do next. He needed to find something he knew, something he understood. He had spent all his life training to be a warrior monk. He was uncertain what good those skills would do him in this machina city.

His wanderings had brought him to a warehouse district, and he found himself staring in the windows at a sight that was, after all, familiar. Ten students, working through the kata. _This is a dojo!_ He watched, avidly, and saw that the teacher, the sensei, was an elderly man. He observed the entire lesson, and the next, as well. The sensei was very elderly, indeed. Auron could tell from watching the students that the master knew how to teach, but it was clear that he was no longer able to demonstrate what needed to be taught. _Perhaps there is a place for me here, after all._

Then he saw his face reflected in the glass. He looked entirely disreputable. In addition to the scar, he now had a heavy beard, and he seriously needed a bath. _I must get a room tonight, clean myself up, and come back tomorrow._

He found somewhere close, and used up some of his remaining money for a room and a meal. He thought he could have gone another night without sleep, but cleaning himself up was crucial to his plans. In the morning, he thought he looked considerably less like a bandit after a bath and a shave, but then he thought there was still something wrong. _I must get some kind of collar to cover more of this scar_, was his first thought, but that really wasn't the answer. He continued to stare at himself in confusion. Then he pulled the left side of his coat over his left shoulder, but did not put his left arm through the sleeve. _My lord is dead. This is how it must be done, now_.

He left the room, taking his few belongings with him, and returned to the dojo he had found the day before. He waited outside until the sensei arrived, later in the morning.

"May I help you, young man?" the sensei asked Auron.

"Sensei, I believe that we may be of assistance to each other."

"Perhaps. What is your name?"

"I am called Auron, Sensei."

"Well, Auron, I am Hikaru. How do you think you may assist me?" the old man asked, in a quelling tone.

Auron wanted the floor to swallow him. He had been overconfident, too eager. _I said the wrong thing, I took the wrong approach._

"Sensei, I…"

"I saw you watching, yesterday, two classes. What is it you seek from me?" Hikaru said, more kindly. He read the signs. This young man had just lost his position, that much he understood from the way he wore his coat. He also seemed…lost…somehow, more than could easily be accounted for.

"I seek…a place. I believe I could serve as your assistant," Auron added hesitantly.

"I cannot pay much, but there is an apartment above the studio, at the top of the stairs over there, where you could live. If this works out," Hikaru stated firmly. "First, you must show me what you can do. Let me see if you have any skills worth paying for," the old man said, trying to sound stern, but there was a slight twinkle in his eye.

As Auron started to work through the kata, the old sensei began to nod in satisfaction. This young man would make a fine assistant. It seemed that Auron had found his place.

In the corner of the dojo, there was a flash of silver. Hikaru thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye, but it was gone.

…

Auron returned to Jecht's house the following day. Linnya was eager to see him again; she wanted to hear every detail of his journey with her husband. As he began to tell her the version that he had determined would be 'safe', the boy closed himself behind the door of his room, and did not emerge until his mother called him for dinner, well after Auron had finished talking and had begun listening to Linnya speak about her life with Jecht. He was concerned to note that she did not seem to consider many other topics worth discussing, including her son. _I hope this is only her grief talking_.

As the weeks passed, Auron discovered that it was not. The dojo was closed the last day of each sennight, and he made it a habit to spend part of each of his days off with Linnya and Tidus. From week to week, he could see that the woman was fading, it seemed that she had lost her will to live. Auron and the boy watched each other warily whenever he came to call; Tidus just wasn't sure what to think of anyone who presented himself as a friend of his old man's. But as the weeks turned into months, and Linnya's condition continued to deteriorate, the man and the boy formed an unspoken pact; neither would speak of the fear that gripped them both, _if she dies, I wouldn't know what to do_.

Linnya gave up her hold on life less than a year after she learned that Jecht would not be returning. Later, the doctors wrote something official sounding on her death certificate, but Auron and Tidus both knew that she really died of a broken heart. It was something else that they shared, but never spoke of. Now that Tidus' mother was dead, Auron truly didn't know what to do.

Auron stayed up all night, in an attempt to carefully weigh his options. Linnya's older sister and her husband had arrived immediately after Linnya had died, and had tried to throw him out of the house without even allowing him to explain his presence or let Tidus say farewell. The scene had been appalling. Tidus had completely broken down at that point, and had clung to him, sobbing uncontrollably, refusing to let him go. _His initial resentment I understood. I said I was Jecht's friend, I knew that would not serve me as a way to the boy's good graces_. _But when Linnya died,_ _I must have been the only familiar presence in a sea of strangers. That is the only possible explanation for his behavior_. _At least, I was older when I faced this loss…and on Spira, it was…expected_.

It was only when the neighbors began arriving and asking questions that Tilla and Harro had been willing to stop and listen to a few explanations of the events of Linnya's and Tidus' life for the past year. _If this Tilla is Linnya's sister, where has she been the last few months?_ _Her sister's behavior…if that is what her family is like, it is no wonder she did not have much contact with them. _Tidus would not calm down, or let him go, until his aunt and uncle had agreed to let Auron come and see him the following week, and had given Auron the directions to their house.

He had to go there, he had no choice. He had given Jecht his word he would keep an eye on the boy. _Should I do more? Should I try to raise the boy myself?_ At that thought, his courage failed him. _I do not know what to do. I do not know what he needs. Neither do they_, his conscience answered back. _These courts of theirs, he is not my blood, I would lose. You could still try_, said his conscience. _I am not ready for this; I will do what I can_. His conscience did not answer, but the silence echoed back like disappointment, or failure.

The following week, he arrived, as promised, at Tidus' new residence, to take the boy out for the afternoon. He established the habit of taking the child out regularly, usually on his day off. They normally didn't do much, just walked around the city, and Tidus talked a lot, _the boy always talked too much_, but a bond slowly developed between them, built on the foundation of that shared experience of watching Linnya in silence. His aunt and uncle provided Tidus with a kind of a home, but had no idea of how to meet his emotional needs. Auron didn't either, but he made no pretense of it, which Tidus found…comforting…in a strange way. His aunt and uncle were just going through the motions of caring for him, because it was expected of them, and Tidus could tell they were faking it. He knew that he could count on Auron, because with Auron, he thought he always knew exactly where he stood.

…

Five years passed. Sensei Hikaru retired, and Auron became the owner of the dojo. Tidus began playing blitz, but not as seriously as he could have, or should have. He clearly had talent, talent his father's sarcasm only stifled. Auron wasn't sure how to accomplish that part of what he had promised Jecht. The boy seemed to talk about practicing more than he actually practiced. It was as though Tidus were afraid that, if he really tried, he would discover that Jecht's critical remarks were a true measure of his potential. At twelve, the boy needed to get serious about the sport soon, if he was going to see that "view from the top" Jecht wanted him to have.

…

The disadvantage to not requiring much sleep was that Auron often had a lot of time on his hands at night. There was only so much training, so much practice, any man could do. The walls seemed to close in, and he longed for the endless open spaces of Spira. He often spent long hours walking the streets of the city, trying to outpace his demons. Willing the time to pass until he could return, and fulfill his promises. And rest.

It was on one such night, after he had been in Zanarkand for five years, that Auron was walking the streets of the city. It was the end of the regular workweek, in the late spring, at about ten in the evening. He still didn't completely understand the city's artificial concept of a workweek and regular days off every sennight. He had finally accepted that they had such a concept; but he still didn't understand it for himself, as it was so foreign to the way that things were in Spira, where work followed the seasons, the fishing, the markets, or the temples. But here, it was the beginning of their 'sennight's end'. People were happy that they had a couple of days off before they had to start work again at the beginning of the next sennight. He was not particularly happy as he took a drink from the jug at his side. He was angry on this particular night. Angry at the universe, at Jecht, and, mostly, at himself. On nights like this, he often found himself wondering if time on Spira was really running parallel to time in Zanarkand, it if had truly been five years since he left or five decades or five centuries. _Maybe Spira has been completely wiped out by Sin_. Aloud, he said to himself, " I am a fool to even be here."

A half-familiar voice, not his own, whispered in his ear, "Guardian, you are a very stubborn man. We have been waiting a long time for you to say those words."

Very near, a door opened and the most captivating voice Auron had ever heard spilled out from the lighted doorway singing:

> Desperado  
Why don't you come to your senses…

It proved to be a potent combination of whiskey and honey over his soul and spirit, intoxication and balm at the same time. He followed the voice through the doorway, as the song continued. He was momentarily distracted by the little man selling tickets at the door, "Ten gil and you're entitled to one cup of coffee with your ticket, sir."

He blindly handed over the money, and received the ticket in exchange. Blindly, because his dark glasses had fallen down his nose, so his eye needed to adjust to the lights inside, and as he did he found that his gaze had met the singer's, and then both were caught. She had seen him enter; he was hard to miss, since he mostly blocked the door. Once her eyes locked with his, she could have sworn her heart started to beat faster. _Hello, handsome, where did you come from?_ she asked him, but only inside her mind. She blinked and turned back to the audience, trying to regain her composure as she watched him search for a seat.

He found a table in the second row, sat down without noticing anything of his surroundings. Then she could look him over, and he, her. It took them both a surprisingly long time, almost the rest of the song. _Thank goodness I can sing this one on autopilot_, she sighed. His coffee and a glass of water arrived without him even being aware of it.

She had seen him standing and moving. _He moves like a…hunter…no, a fighter_. She guessed he was roughly six feet tall, and suspected he was all muscle under the somewhat unusual garments, uniform, armor, or whatever it was he had on. She was very interested to see that he couldn't drink with the collar he had on, and he must have been very thirsty, because he was forced to remove it.

She liked this much better, because she could see more of his face this way. And it was a very compelling face, indeed. _Dark hair, brown, no, black, but gray at the temples. What's with the dark glasses, what's he hiding, it's dark enough in here already. He must be a good fighter, he's never broken that nose, it's too straight. Let's see, a mouth a girl would gladly go on kissing for…oh, say… a few hours, if she was willing to put up with a little chafing, since I bet that dark beard comes back pretty fast. The line of his jaw is about sharp enough to cut yourself, girl. In spite of the gray hair, he looks a lot nearer thirty than forty._

_That hurts_, she thought, _he must be about ten years younger than I am. Oh well, a girl can still dream, can't she? _Her eyes returned to his_. He has the most intense stare...like he is trying to see into me, or through me. I want to meet him._

As she looked him over, he did her the same 'courtesy'. She was beautiful. Her hair was a dark, rich brown, although the stage lights showed it shot with strands of silver here and there, it was cut into a soft cap that covered her head. Her eyes were large, deep-set, and the same brown he saw in his mirror when he shaved. Her lips looked utterly kissable, full and soft. But her face showed strength of will, and determination. She was petite, but what there was of her was packed into all the right places. Her short tunic and form fitting tights hugged her every curve. His body was responding to the sight as though he were a living man, something he was suddenly, and uncomfortably, aware of.

As his eyes came back up to meet hers she hit the last verse of the song:

> Desperado  
Why don't you come to your senses  
Come down from your fences  
Open the gate  
It may be rainin'  
But there's a rainbow above you  
You'd better let somebody love you  
You'd better let somebody love you  
Before it's too late.

He felt the words sear his battered soul. She bowed as the crowd applauded. He saw then that her shirt was held together by one tie in the back...not something he needed to know in his current condition. He found himself shifting in the chair.

She sang four more songs that night. Her eyes, as always, roamed the audience, making eye contact with as many as possible, especially the 'regulars' that had watched the performances often over the years. But her gaze kept returning to the red-coated stranger, she found herself drawn to him. And each time she looked at him, she found it more difficult to look away.

At the end of the short set, her partner came forward from the shadows and introduced himself; she introduced herself, and then said, "Together, we are 'Mercy'. Goodnight, Lords, Ladies and Gentlefolk of all kinds. Thank you," as Dafydd packed his guitar and the instrumentation machine. She whispered to him that she was going to talk to someone. Dafydd knew her well, so he pointed a thumb in the direction of the stranger. She inclined her head in agreement. "Thought so," he replied.

As she walked towards the stranger's table, she noticed that he had also taken off the glove he had been wearing. _Good_, she thought, _the more of that 'armor' he loses the better, he has too many defenses to hide behind. I'd like to see what he looks like without any of it. Whoa! That's too far just yet!_ Two tables away from the stranger's, she was finally able to see what he was concealing behind the dark glasses. They had slipped down his face enough for her to meet his eyes, or rather, eye. His left was a deep brown; his right was sealed behind one of the nastiest scars she had ever seen. Her step faltered.

He met her eyes, and waited for her to turn away. She kept her eyes locked on his. _What the hell happened to you? Sword? Knife? I sure hope you gave as good as you got._ _Quit stalling girl. Does it matter? Decide quick, don't keep the man waiting_. She smiled, and to Auron it felt as though the sun had come out from behind a cloud, as she kept walking toward his table.

When she reached the back of the chair opposite his at the tiny table she was close enough to decide that yes, scar or no scar, she still wanted to see him without all the armor, and everything else. _Eventually_. But, the only word that she let escape from her lips was, "Hello."

Her speaking voice was almost as deep as her singing voice, and easy to listen to. He had watched her as she walked towards his table. She moved confidently, sure of herself in her own body. He also had the strangest feeling, as she walked towards him, _it must be an illusion_, that, unlike everything else, this woman, he saw stereoscopically, with both eyes.

"Hello," was about the only thing he trusted himself to reply, so that was all he said in response.

_I like his voice. He's got a nice, bass-baritone with a slightly husky note to it_. She couldn't bear to be more than friends with a man whose voice was pitched higher than her own. _I can definitely bear his_. She sat in the vacant chair.

She held out her right hand to him. "My name is Mercy. And you are…"

"Auron." But instead of pressing her hand briefly, the socially accepted thing, he took her hand in his and raised it to his lips. It should still have been just a momentary contact. Instead, it was an electric shock, stunning them both. His grip tightened on her hand for a moment, surprising them both again, the skin against skin touch more pleasurable than either of them had imagined. It seemed to take an eternity to let go, or even to break eye contact. She felt her cheeks burning.

_He's been drinking the coffee, poor man; I know it's terrible_. She found the untouched water glass, not that she would have cared as long as it still held some liquid, and swallowed half the glass. _I think this moment could stand to be lightened up just a bit. Why do I think I'm the one that's going to be doing it? Somehow, I get the feeling lightness isn't exactly one of his strengths_.

"Thank you," she said, smiling.

"You're welcome," he replied, "but, I confess, it just arrived with the coffee, I didn't know you would be here, or that you would want it."

"After I sing, I will drink anything, cold, wet, and non-alcoholic, and, in a pinch, I'll compromise on two out of three. It's a little difficult to compromise on the wet part." She laughed a little. He chuckled slightly in response. _Good, he either has a sense of humor, or at least the ability to get over himself. Better and better._

Auron thought it was time for him to go. She was too tempting, on too many levels. She was more beautiful, more alluring, up close than on stage. He could see that she was no child, and he found that even more appealing. He thought that this was a woman who might understand. When he'd taken her hand, he'd felt calluses, somewhat like his own. Not as hard, or as deep, but enough to tell him that she knew how to use a sword, a complete surprise in this supposedly safe city. _I do not understand this. I am…drawn to this woman. It would be best if I left this place, now. I want to see her again_. For once in his life, wanting won out over everything else.

He asked, "When do you perform again?"

"Tomorrow night, probably sometime between half eight and eleven, we don't know exactly when, at the coffeehouse on Eighteenth and Embarcadero."

"Then I will see you tomorrow night. Farewell, my lady." And with that last remark, he got up and left the club, his coat trailing behind him.

"Damn," she muttered to his now empty chair. Then she headed for the Green Room.

Dafydd was waiting for her. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What happened, girl?"

"Not much, but I expect he'll be in the audience tomorrow night"

"Is that good, or bad?

"Good, I think," she said, with some hesitation.

"Did you at least manage to find out the man's name?" he finally said in exasperation.

"Oh yeah. His name is…Auron." _What happened back there?_ _Why did he leave so fast?_ _Did I get to him the way he got to me?_

A blue shimmer flickered in the corner of the Green Room, then disappeared.

Dafydd walked her home before heading home himself. Mercy was quiet, thinking about the evening, and her companion didn't press her. Daf thought it had been too long since she had been interested in someone, way too long even considering that last disaster. But he knew her way too well to say anything. _It's about time you came back to life, sis. But I think I'll keep that thought to myself for a bit._ _I like living too much to even think of saying anything right now._

…Spira…Guadosalam

Auron remembered that he had dreamed about her that night. At first, when he had dreamed, he hadn't been certain of what he had been dreaming, looking for an act of mercy, compassion, or the woman Mercy, he had just met. But when he woke in the middle of the night, alone and achingly erect, he was sure he dreamt of the woman. He had thought he was done with all of that when he died. _No such luck apparently_, he remembered thinking to himself in the night. He had been alone, that night in Zanarkand. And he was alone, now, in Guadosalam, but he looked at the clock and saw that it must be nearly dawn outside the underground city. Time to go.

End Chapter Three.


	4. Court and Spark

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The song "Seven Wonders" was written by Sandy Stewart and Stevie Nicks, performed by Fleetwood Mac, and I don't own it, either.  The title of the chapter is from a song originally performed by Joni Mitchell.******

If Auron was sharper with his fellow guardians the next day on the Thunder Plains, no one noticed.  Or, no one dared to comment.  But then, no one would.  It certainly may have contributed to his attitude toward Rikku's endless whining.  He could not admit, even to himself, that he was secretly relieved when she begged to be allowed to rest in the Travel Agency.  

In the privacy of his room, he let the contents of the tokkuri lull him into letting his guard down, again.  It allowed him to lower the barrier between his waking mind, and the memories of Zanarkand he held deep in his heart.

…Zanarkand…five years ago…Saturday…

He remembered sleeping little that night in Zanarkand, and practically cutting his own throat shaving that morning, mostly from distraction.  He had immediately resolved that his own workout that day would be conducted unarmed, as distraction and sharp edged weapons did not mix well.

He would have been gratified to know that Mercy had not fared much better.  She slept "like the dead", a full day's work on Friday capped by an evening's performance guaranteed it, but her normal Saturday routine had been conducted through a haze of distraction as well.

In the late afternoon she found herself standing in front of the closet in the spare room where she kept her stage clothes, searching for the right outfit for the evening's performance.  She had perfected a certain look over the years.  The costume consisted first of a pair of black spandex tights, that varied from a flat, matte black to a very sparkly black, depending on the night of the week and her mood.  Since it was the weekend, she chose a relatively sparkly pair.  Her shoes were a real treat.  They were low-heeled for comfort, but were a sandal-type affair that consisted mostly of a set of black leather strings that laced around her calves and tied behind her knees.  She had seen Auron look her over last night.  He'd been fascinated.  But then, that was the intent.  The column of solid black to her waist made her legs look longer, which was the general idea.  Anything that made her look taller than her actual 5'4" height, short of uncomfortable spike heels, was all to the good.  She had a selection of tunics in the closet that she had had a friend design for her.  They were simple but attention getting.  They were actually based on the gi she wore for her workouts, a garment with a v-neck that crossed over under her breasts and tied at the side.  But there the resemblance ended.  Her stage shirts were designed to be form-fitting, v-necked still but cut low or lower in front, waist-length, and tied in back with a bow, which was all that held them together.  Some were long-sleeved, others sleeveless.  She had had them made with varying amounts of beads and spangles, and exactly which she wore depended, again, on the night, and her mood.  She had them in the colors that favored her, so, since she was dark, the shirts were in bright, clear colors, diamond white, onyx black, crimson, wine, cobalt blue.

This afternoon she pulled one from the closet that matched the weekend evening to come and her mood.  Crimson, sleeveless, beaded, low-cut, but not the lowest, _perfect_.  After she dressed she looked in the mirror and realized why she'd chosen this shirt—_it matched Auron's coat_--_Damn_—_too late now_—rang in her head as she heard the alarm sound which meant that she needed to leave to meet Dafydd for dinner.  She grabbed a light jacket, closed it over her top, picked up her bag, her case with her stage makeup, and left.  

She saw Dafydd walking toward her on the street just outside their usual Saturday dinner place.  He looked as he always did.  Small, slim and wiry, light brown hair, blue-gray eyes, sweet, open face.  His clear tenor blended well with her smoky alto.  They were sibs, but by adoption, so there was no family resemblance, but they had been looking out for each other for a very long time.  Tonight, at dinner, she was even less hungry than normal, but he decided not to comment on it.  She would not appreciate him noticing, he knew.

She and Dafydd arrived at the club at 7 and signed up for one of their usual slots.  They would be on around 10.  This was an "open mic" so the exact time they went on stage would depend on how many acts signed up, and how many songs the manager allowed each performer.  Auron arrived at 8:15, and saw "Mercy" listed on the board next to the stage.  He found a table in the second row that afforded him an excellent view, and settled down to wait.  During a break between acts, the wait staff gave him a hand-written menu.  _Praise Yevon, this place served beer_.  He ordered one, and nursed it.  He had no need to seek oblivion from a bottle.  At the break one before Mercy came out he finally ordered another beer, and a bottle of water for her.  He had seen her check the audience before 9; she knew he was there.  He smiled slightly to himself.  He had also removed his collar, and his glove.  _Well, he couldn't drink with the collar on_.  He couldn't admit to himself that he'd taken off the glove solely on the change of touching her hand again.

They went on at about 10:15.  _A good time for a Saturday night_, Mercy thought.  She continued as she walked towards the stage, trying not to look at the audience, _we've got five songs, which is pretty good for a Saturday, considering the number of acts tonight_.  

When she went on stage, he was not sure if he was even breathing, or maybe he was just breathing too fast.  When she sang he was certain he could hear her heart in her voice, or maybe her soul.  _She does this because she loves it.  Amazing_.  He watched her through each change of mood, pace, emotion as she sang.  The first song was a song of love, and pain, so much so it hurt his heart to hear it.  The second had a darker beat, primal, sexual.  The rhythm of it beat through his own body in a way that he thought he had forgotten.  As she strut across the stage in time with the music, she looked back over her shoulder at the audience, straight at him, he realized that he desired her more than any woman he had ever met, more than any woman he had ever seen in his life.  It had been a long time, he realized.  The tightness in his groin reminded him, a very long time.

The air between them was suddenly on fire.  She felt something burning, low in her belly.  _Too much, too fast, too soon_.  The next two songs were different, bright, happy songs.  Nothing to trouble the emotions, or the senses.  But then, the last one changed everything.  It was a song she had written a while back.  A friend had told her a story, about trying to capture one perfect moment in time, something that was so beautiful that she was sure she would never experience anything like it again in her life.  Mercy had tried to put the essence of it into a song, and now she sang it: 

So long ago

Certain time

Certain place

You touched my hand

All the way

All the way up and down the line

But if our paths never cross

Well you know I'm sorry but

If I live to see the seven wonders

I'll make a path to the rainbow's end

I'll never live to match the beauty again

The rainbow's end

So it's hard to find

Someone with that kind of intensity

You touched my hand I played it cool

And you reached out your hand for me

But if our paths never cross

Well you know I'm sorry but

If I live to see the seven wonders

I'll make a path to the rainbow's end

I'll never live to match the beauty again

The rainbow's end

So long ago

It's a certain time

It's a certain place

You touched my hand and you smiled

All the way back you held out your hand

If I hope and I pray

Ooh it might work out someday

If I live to see the seven wonders

I'll make a path to the rainbow's end

I'll never live to match the beauty again

The rainbow's end

If I live to see the seven wonders

I'll make a path to the rainbow's end

I'll never live to match the beauty again

If I live to see the seven wonders

I'll make a path to the rainbow's end

I'll never live to match the beauty again

Auron heard the words, and felt his system go into a kind of shock.  She watched him from the stage.  She could see she had touched him, but she didn't know why, or how.  She sang to him, now, for him, alone._ How did she know?  We saw the seven wonders, in Spira.  We made the path to the rainbow's end, or near enough.  I never thought to find anything like it again.  Why here, why now?  How did she know?_  All his senses went into overdrive as he watched her, listened to her sing something that he would never have been able to put into words.

On stage, the song ended, they said good night to the audience.  Mercy looked at Dafydd and slid her eyes to Auron.  Dafydd just nodded, he already knew she was going to go talk to the man again.

Auron recovered himself enough to push the chair out from the table slightly with his boot as she walked toward him, and set the water where she could easily reach it once she sat down.  As she approached, he had that same illusion again, that he saw he with both eyes, but he just shook it off.  She took the chair, and the water, as an invitation to sit, and did so.  "Hello again, Auron."  "My lady."  She hoped to keep him talking a little longer this time; she really wanted to know more about him, to find out why he affected her so much.  "Why do you do this?" he asked somewhat abruptly, as he gestured toward the stage.  "Because I love it," she replied, confirming his earlier guess.  "Because my soul needs it," she expanded.  "I need the music, and the audience, in order to be truly whole."

"My turn. What made you come in last night?  I've never seen you before, and I've been doing this a long time.  You new around here?"

"I've been in Zanarkand five years.  I came in because I heard your voice."  He paused for several seconds, uncertain how to proceed.  She looked into his face, knowing he was struggling to say something further, waiting patiently, for her, for the rest of it.  "I've never heard anything so beautiful," he finally finished.

Color rose in her cheeks.  He could see it even through the face paint she wore.  Her "thank you" was barely audible.  Even after all these years, she found direct praise for her singing difficult to hear.

Just then the manager came on stage to start introducing the next act.  Auron started to ask her another question, and someone at the next table began shushing him.  He glared and they glared back.  _Just great_, Mercy thought, _a friend of the next act.  Nothing ventured and all that_.  She leaned forward so she could speak very softly.  Auron leaned in, trying to look at her face and not her breasts, now even more tantalizingly displayed than they had been a few seconds ago.  She took a deep breath, gathering her courage.  _This is getting painful_, he thought.  "Do you want to go someplace else, where we can talk?" she asked.  Her eyes met his.  She wasn't suggesting anything more than talk, but she wanted it very much.  He did also.  "Sure," he answered.  They both stood.  He tucked his collar and glove into his belt, and they walked into the hall.  

"Please wait here" she said at the door of the 'Green Room', "I need to take off the face-paint, and get my stuff, five minutes, okay?"  Auron leaned his shoulder against the wall, with little patience, wondering how long five minutes really meant.

Inside Mercy was talking fast to Dafydd, while she stood at the tiny mirror/sink combo and deftly removed her stage makeup.  "He might as well see me as I really am," she was saying.

"You still look plenty good, quit putting yourself down, girl.  He came back, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he did," she replied, but, a little uncertainly.

"Take my makeup case back to your place, huh?"

"Sure, no problem."

"I'll pick it up Tuesday night."

"Where you taking him, sis?"  He was just looking out for her, even if she was five years older than he was.

"Heaven's Gate," she answered.

"Good choice, nice little tables for talking, but still plenty public if it needs to be.  Make sure he walks you home."  He was insistent now, all brotherly concern.

"Yes, little brother."  She hugged him quickly, then strode from the room crossing her fingers that Auron was still waiting for her.  He was.

Five minutes really meant five minutes, Auron discovered.  He also learned instantly that he liked her face much better without the paint.  Her skin was still a little pink from the scrubbing, but he preferred the way she really looked.  Her lips looked fuller, rosier, even more kissable without the stage makeup.  "Well, do I pass inspection?" she asked nervously.  "Sorry, I hadn't realized I was staring." 

"Just answer the question." She shot back, impatiently now.

"Yes."

Their eyes met for a moment that went on much too long.  The eye contact was suddenly too intimate, and the world began to narrow to just the two of them.  A loud noise from the next room brought them to their senses.  "Where are we going?" he managed to ask.  "Heaven's Gate, a club I know, not too far from here.  We can talk there, and get something decent to drink."  He nodded in agreement.  He had no idea where the place was, either in the abstract or relative to where they were now, and he didn't care.  "Lead the way."

She tried to lead.  He clearly wasn't used to following, or walking next to someone more than half a foot shorter than he was.  She needed almost two strides to his one, _Damn the man_.  She tried to talk to him to keep him beside her.

"Where are you from, originally?"

"I grew up in Luca, but then I lived in Bevelle for several years."  _Stick as close to the truth as possible, easier to keep the story straight_, marched through his head.  Unfortunately, when he was thinking to himself, he forgot to think about how fast he walked.  The first time, the street wasn't crowded, so when he got ahead of her, instead of running after him—_too undignified, and she didn't like the image_—she called "Auron, wait up."  He stopped, and waited for her to walk up to him at her normal pace.  They began strolling toward Heaven's Gate again.  

"Why did you come to Zanarkand?"

"I promised a friend I would look out for his son.  The boy is here."

"You friend is dead?"

"I lost him five years ago."  Again, the truth, letting her assumptions fill in the missing pieces with untruth, so he did not have to actually lie to this woman.  He couldn't tell her all of it, at least not yet, but could not make himself lie to her either.  He remembered Jecht extracting that damned promise, and wondering at the time how in the hell he was going to keep it.  As he tried to distance himself from the memory, he strode too rapidly, and lost her again.  Suddenly, he was alone, and there was a sea of people behind him, on the cross way going in a different direction.  Mercy's shorter form was lost in the crowd.  He stood completely still, frozen in sudden panic.

"Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!"  _Cursing to herself wasn't going to help the situation any._  She turned in a circle, trying to find his taller figure.  "The damn fool idiot doesn't even know where we're going."  _Talking to herself wouldn't help either_.  She spotted him, standing still, with a very worried frown marring his handsome features.  _Well, at least he has enough sense to realize when he's made a mistake.  That's a point in his favor.  I hate it when a man can't admit when he's wrong_.  

Auron saw the 'dip' in the moving current of humanity that was still, then saw it heading in his direction.  His knees went slightly weak at he realized that he had found her again.  As the fear receded, there was a small cracking sound, but he paid it no heed.  It was the sound of the armor around his heart, crumbling.

Mercy forced her way out of the edge of the moving crowd, and made her way over to the still motionless Auron.  She stood somewhat to his right, so that the angle of their bodies formed a v-wedge, and where she could reach his free right hand.  She had an idea that scared her, but she wanted to make a point first.  She stood very close, well within what should have been his personal space.  He should have stepped away.  He wanted to draw closer, but dared not, so he stood his ground.  He saw a fear to match his own in her eyes, but also read a challenge.  _What was she going to do?  He had nearly lost her in that crowd.  How would he find her again?  Ever?_  He knew already, in his much battered heart, that that didn't bear thinking about.

"Damn you.  You don't even know how to get where we're going, do you?"  She wasn't waiting for an answer.  She was scared, and she was using anger to cover the fear.  She was standing very close on purpose, partly to see clearly into his face, and, partly, for this.  She bumped her left arm and head into Auron's right arm and shoulder.  Not hard, just to make a point.  She smelled faintly of spring rain, and wildflowers.  The smells of spring on Spira.  Home.  He felt a sense of connection that rocked his world, but he had no idea what caused it.  It was just, her.  He wanted to pull her into his arms, and never let her go.  He wanted to find out everything there was to know about her.  He wanted to tell her everything about himself, to finally let someone in.  He also wanted to make love with her, preferably right now.  The location was just a bit too public.  _Hell_.

After she bumped him like that, it took Mercy more time than she expected to recover.  Although she had initiated the contact, she discovered that she should have been braced, internally as much as externally, before she had done it.  That sense of connection had caught her, warmed her, surprised her, but it made her even more angry at him, in a way.  _This was all happening much too fast.  It had been such a nice, comfortable rut_, she thought.  _She wasn't sure she was ready to climb out of it quite yet.  But she seemed to be getting pitched out head first, or maybe heart first, will she, or nil she.  Ramming into Auron was rather like ramming into a very warm rock…but one with very nice muscles…what's the rest like, I wonder_.

"Look, you're too tall, or I'm too short.  I am not running after you because you've forgotten that."  She was looking into his face, which seemed surprisingly open for him.  _He had been frightened too_, she thought.  _How would I find him if I lost him tonight, short of searching the Hall of Records for every man named Auron born about the right time who might be in Zanarkand? – Damnation – I'd probably do it if I had to. – Better try to hold onto him now and get some more specific information.  Let's see if he's still worried enough_…

She wrapped her left hand around his much larger right hand.  It was the reason she'd picked this place to stand to begin this 'discussion'.  His palm against hers was causing signal fires to flare over her entire body.  Things woke up that had been asleep for far too long.  A small voice in her head weakly opined, _you're too old for this_, but one of the flares shot that voice down, fast.  Every other part of her came screaming to life.  A more reasonable little voice said again, _this is too fast_, but another part of her replied, _no need to do anything yet, just think about it.  Meantime, ain't it good to be alive again?_

Aloud, she said, "I can keep you from wandering off this way," raising their linked hands slightly.  

He had been too worried about losing her, when he'd just found her.  His rational thought was that_ it was a bad idea to do anything further about any of this_, but rational thought was not winning this battle.  _He had been completely alone for too long.  Maybe that was part of it.  He was completely separate from everyone and everything he knew, and he wanted someone to be close to.  There he was, trying to rationalize again.  He knew he should not get involved with this, or any other, woman_, but every time he thought that, he found himself getting in a little deeper, like now.  The simple act of placing her hand in his aroused more of his emotions than he thought he still possessed.  He felt that he should push her away.  He wanted to draw her closer.  Her skin against his made all his nerve endings snap into complete life.  Whatever his mind said, his body clearly had decided he wasn't dead, not in any way that mattered.  He wanted to hold her, but he felt he shouldn't, so he compromised.  He switched the angle of their linked hands, so that instead of simply crossing palms to hold hands, now their fingers were interlaced.  The feeling was doubly intimate.  He had to swallow hard, twice, before he trusted himself to make any verbal response.  His voice was still huskier than normal.  "Better this way," was all he managed to say.  Whether in response to his voice, his words, or his touch, she felt her whole body respond by turning into liquid.

They didn't talk much the rest of the way to Heaven's Gate.  The silences were surprisingly comfortable.  He liked it that she didn't need to chatter to fill the quiet.  When they reached the club, they were lucky enough to find a quiet table in one of the sphere-less rooms, somewhere they could talk with few interruptions.  The tiny tables were made for intimate conversations, necessitating that they sit as much next to as across from each other.  She sat to Auron's right.  His right hand was easier to reach if she needed to make a point.  She kept wondering if there was something wrong with his left arm, because of the way he carried it, using his coat as though it were a sling.  She might find out eventually.  The table was so tiny; their knees kept hitting each other's.

The wait staff took their orders, brought their drinks, left.  By some unspoken agreement, she and Auron waited until after the drinks were delivered to begin any serious conversation.

"What happened to your friend?  The one whose son you're watching out for?"  One thing was clear.  Neither of them was much good at making small talk.  Something they had in common.

"Three of us went on a journey from Bevelle.  It's a long story, too complicated to explain now.  I'm sorry.  Neither of them made it.  I barely did."  He found himself blinking rapidly.  Five years had passed.  His grief was as fresh as though it were yesterday.

His pain was impossible to ignore, or resist.  "No, I'm sorry," she soothed, as she laid her hand over his.  The touch eased his wounds, more the he thought possible.  He felt warmth spreading from her hand to his.

He asked her a question that had been puzzling him since the evening before.  "Where do the songs come from?  How do you decide what to sing?"

"That's not fair.  That's two questions."  She was laughing, just a little, but she sobered up when she saw he was really serious.  "People write the songs.  I've written some.  I wrote Seven Wonders, the last song we did tonight.  Some are based on my own experience, some are based on things people tell me, or that I've heard or read about that I'm able to translate into music.  Seven Wonders is like that.  Sometimes, in life, you experience something, just for a minute maybe, that is so uniquely beautiful, or wonderful, or both, that you just know, no matter what else you do, no matter how miraculous it might be, it will never match that one perfect moment."  Auron just nodded.  _She did understand_.

"As for how we choose, Dafydd and I meet for dinner on the nights we perform, and discuss what we're going to play.  We always pick six songs, because that's the most we ever get to do."

"How long have you and your 'friend' been performing together?"  She was surprised to see, and hear, jealousy in the question.  _My, my, my, isn't that interesting_.  

"Dafydd and I have been performing together since we were in our teens.  He's my brother.  Adopted, but still my brother."  Auron tried to hide it, but he had been tense when he asked the question, and the tension just flowed away as soon as she said the word 'brother'.  None came back at the word 'adopted', either.  "I lost my parents just before I turned 18.  Dafydd's parents are still living, but he and they, are…estranged from one another.  For a long time, we were all alone in the world.  In a lot of ways, we raised each other, I guess."

There was pain there, more than she was ready to tell him at the moment.  Now it was his turn to offer her comfort.  He slid his hand from under hers and placed his on top, hooking his thumb under her cupped palm.  She stared out into the middle distance, seeing only the past.  He rubbed his thumb against her palm, bringing her back to the present, back to him.  She returned to look at their hands, clasped on the table.  It had been a long time since anyone comforted her.  The ice around her heart was melting, whether she was ready for it, or no.

After a minute or two of silence, Auron started to ask another question, but Mercy held up a hand to stop him.  "Wait, I get a turn now," smiling at him to take any sting from her words.  "Besides watching over your friend's boy, I assume he still is a boy, what do you do with yourself?"

"Tidus is twelve now, and I run a dojo over at the edge of Soho.  I live above it.  That reminds me.  Let me see your hands."  It was not exactly a request.  More like something between a request and an order.  _This will be interesting_, she thought.  _Most men are bothered by my 'hobby' as some have called it_.

He released her left hand, and she placed both hands, palms up, on the table.  He shrugged his left arm out of the sling of his coat, so he could use both hands to examine hers.  She got the answer to her question about whether or not anything was the matter with his left arm.  The answer was a definite "no".  She just stared.  Her pupils dilated, her breathing quickened, and her pulse started going double time, if that was possible.  She was suddenly grateful for the beads on her shirt, which hopefully concealed the fact that her nipples must be standing at attention.  _If the rest of him matched the left arm and shoulder he'd just revealed…_her throat had gone dry, but other parts certainly hadn't.  _Oh my goodness_.

He saw her eyes change, the rise and fall of her breasts.  His hands covered both of hers, as the rest of his body's responses fell into line with hers.  Her knee pressed into his thigh.  Their hands were clasped on the table.  The world began to drop away, as it had earlier, and reduce itself to just the two of them.

The spell was broken by the bright chirp of the waitperson.  "Anything else I can get for either of you?"  Auron's bark of "No!" sent her running, but the damage was done.  The world was back, for the present.

He removed his dark glasses, in theory to look at her hands more closely.  _She might as well see what there is to see_, he mused.  His glasses slid down his nose so often, she had already seen the scar, just not exactly all of it at once.  _He must have been pretty before he got that, but I never did like pretty men_.  All she said aloud was "I bet that hurt something awful when you got it."

"It did.  I almost didn't make it."  She gripped one of his hands, in silent sympathy.

"Back to the matter at hand," he smiled slightly at his own pun.  "Your hands."

"Yes."

"There's a pattern of calluses, here, here, and here."  He rubbed each spot lightly with an index finger, while cupping the hand in question with one of his own.  "I have a similar pattern myself, but yours are not as deep, or as hard."  He used one hand to help her feel his hands, but she already knew where to look.  The intimate contact was more charged by the second.  "Mine are from daily sword practice.  Yours?"

"Three times a week."  She waited for his reaction.  _This is usually where they cut and run, no pun intended_.

"Why?"

Some instinct led her to trust him.  She decided to tell him the whole story.  She closed her eyes for a second, to organize her thoughts, and then began, "My parents didn't adopt Dafydd.  I adopted him.  After I turned 18, just before I graduated from Preparatory School, I went to a program set up by the Musicians' Guild for aspiring members to meet each other and I met Dafydd there.  He was 13.  I was looking for a partner, and a friend, and he was looking for someone to hide behind.  We hit it off, applied for our Guild memberships, and started street busking at the summerfaires.  I guess I needed someone to care about, as much as I needed someone to perform with.  It was hard, after I lost my parents.  I always was somewhat of a loner, and with my parents gone; I discovered how truly alone I was.  I was supposed to be strong, to carry on.  They had plans for me.  The music was just supposed to be a hobby, to make me a well-rounded person, I guess.  I began songwriting in earnest after they died, and I started performing with Dafydd as a way of getting outside myself.  We got to be close.  Close enough that he confided in me.  Dafydd is homosexual.  It's not a secret, and it's not a big deal.  But, at 13, it was still something he was coming to terms with.  It made our friendship easier, since he was too young for me, and I was of absolutely no interest to him.  But his sexual orientation became the last and worst of a long list of reasons why his dad beat him, and the beatings were getting worse.  It took me a while to notice the bruises, since Daf always wore long sleeves and long pants, but as the summer got hotter, I saw the marks, and he finally told me.  One night, his dad went too far, so far that his mom finally stepped in long enough for Daf to run to his room and lock the door.  He climbed out the window with his guitar and a backpack, and came to my place in the middle of the night.  I had to fight his dad in court, but I adopted Daf.  I suppose, legally, he's my son, but that's just too weird, so we say we're brother and sister.  It's simpler."  

"After we started the whole court thing, I decided that we had to learn to defend ourselves.  I mean, you've seen Dafydd.  Imagine him at 13.  His dad had abused him for years.  The man was about 5'10, 220 pounds, overweight, but easily able to beat up two kids, especially back then.  He made lots of threats, and I was plenty scared.  I thought we needed to have enough of a chance for one of us to be able to hold on while the other ran for help.  So, we both took martial arts classes, learned unarmed combat, especially how to use the force and momentum of a stronger opponent against them.  In the end, Dafydd's father attacked him, alone, in our apartment, when Daf was 15.  Daf defeated him, tied him up, and called the police to come and get him.  His dad went to prison.  We've never seen him again."

"I had inherited a pair of swords from my grandmother, my father's mother, Rose.  They have been passed down through several generations.  Technically, I know they are not both swords.  I don't have the katana.  I have the short sword, the wakizashi, and the long dagger, the tanto.  Some other relative, long ago, must have inherited the katana, but these suit me well enough.  The katana proportioned to match these two blades must have been about as long as I am tall, including the hilt.  I could never wield such a weapon.  Dafydd thought if his father came, I could just use the swords.  I told him that unless I knew how to use the swords, it would be foolish to hand an enemy an even more deadly weapon.  So I decided that if I was going to keep Grandma Rose's swords, I needed to learn to use them.  It took me years to learn, but eventually I did.  I continue to train, both unarmed and with the swords.  If I ever stop training, I will give the swords to someone who knows how to use them.  It wouldn't be right to keep them under those circumstances."

Auron held her hand through the whole story.  His thumb traced patterns in her palm, over and over, reminding her that he was there, that he was listening, trying to take away a little of the pain, if she would let him.  He was more amazed by her courage with every second.  _She has been a guardian, too, in her way_.  She returned to the present.  It had been a long time since she had told anyone this story, a very long time.  He was still there.  Still holding her hand.  Still trying to comfort her.  It was her turn to be amazed.  _He was most definitely not running._

He continued to hold her hand, while taking a drink with the other.  His throat was dry again.  He thought it might be a good idea to change the topic, before this became even more serious.  He wanted to give her a chance to recover, if she needed it.  "May I ask you another question?"  He paused  "Different subject."

"Yes.  Might be a good thing, about now."  She thought it would be good to move on to something less painful.

"Is singing what you do with yourself, as you asked me earlier?" a slight smile on his face.

"No, unfortunately not.  I make some money songwriting, not enough to live comfortably.  You don't get paid to sing at open mics, either.  We do it for the love of it.  It is possible to get paid to perform, but we're not quite that good, or maybe we've never been brave enough to try.  I have, what is politely referred to in the music business, as a day job".  She smiled ruefully, because it was a very old joke, even if he didn't get it.  "I am a senior administrator in the City Archives and Hall of Records.  I've worked there a rather long time."

Something in her expression made him suddenly wary, as though he stepped into the middle of a horde of invisible fiends.  He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know what.  Whatever it was, it was bothering the hell out of her.  He could feel her hand tense, and her eyes had turned away from his face.  _What the hell was the matter?_

He took a small sip of the beer.  He was parched again, and some instinct was telling him to go carefully, or he would lose this battle right here, whatever the battle was.  "How long is a long time?" he queried softly.  A shot in the dark, at the last thing she had said.

She took a swallow of her drink.  Her throat was a desert.  She stared at the tabletop, at their linked hands.  _Maybe it would be better if we got this one over with, now, too_.  She spoke quickly, almost too fast for him to follow. "I started working at the Archives the summer after I graduated prep school.  I was 18.  I worked there four years while I earned my Archivist's Degree, part-time during the school year, full-time in the summer.  I took a year off school and worked full time to save some money and decide what to specialize in.  I worked four more years part and full time while I earned my Master's Degree.  I finished that thirteen years ago.  I've worked there ever since, rising through the ranks to my present position."  Now she looked up to meet his gaze.  "And, in case you haven't done the math yet, I'm 40 years old, Auron.  I know I'm older than you are, I just don't know how much."

_So that's what's bothering her.  What does it matter?_  Aloud, "How can you be so certain?  Her free hand came up, and her index finger traced the firm line of his jaw.

"That," she said, is what makes me certain."  His eye was closed, savoring the touch of her fingertip on his face.  Bliss.  _What the hell was she saying?_

"What do you mean?"

She smiled sadly.  "Just the march of time.  Your skin is very tight over your jaw, here."  Again, the fingertip against his face.  Men lose that in their early 30's at the latest.  So I know that you're younger than I am, possibly enough to matter."  Patience was not one of her virtues.  "Does it matter?" she asked outright.

His left hand came up to cup her cheek, to make sure she continued to meet his gaze when he spoke.  Her skin was so soft.  His thumb stroked her chin for a minute, just to touch a little more of it.  "I am 30.  And no, it doesn't matter a damn."  She couldn't speak, her throat was too dry, and suddenly, her heart was too full.  Her right hand rose, and spread itself over his unmarred cheek.  They were beginning to lose themselves in each other.  Unconsciously, they were leaning towards each other across the table.  

The waitperson spotted them and decided that she needed to stop this 'Right Now'.  If they were headed the way it looked like they were headed, they should have rented a privacy booth!  "Is there anything else I can get you?"

"Yes," Auron said menacingly, "some privacy."  Mercy squeezed his hand.  The waitperson had just switched from perky to frightened.

"Just the check."  Mercy thought it best if they left, quickly, before the little fluff-head called the manager and had them thrown out.  Auron paid the bill, and they went out into the night.

"In case you're wondering, yes, they are trained to interrupt at the worst possible moment."  Mercy laughed at the consternation on Auron's face, then he started laughing, too.  They were standing outside the club, uncertain what to do next.  Across the plaza, the clock showed it was after 2 in the morning.

"I should probably see you home," he said reluctantly.

"Yes, you probably should," she agreed, equally reluctant.  "This way."  She pointed at one of the streets fanning out from the intersection.  He immediately laced the fingers of his right hand with her left.  "So we don't lose each other on the way," he explained.  She squeezed his hand by way of consent.

They walked slowly, unwilling to hasten the parting at the end.  "Why does the singing group have your name?"  He was just curious.  And it was curious.  

"Actually, it's the other way around, sort of.  My legal name is Mercianne.  I didn't have a nickname growing up.  When we started performing together, we needed a name to perform under.  We were arguing somewhere, a sandwich shop, I think, and some grandmother at the next table finally said, 'Mercy, mercy, can't you two children make up your minds?' and that, as they say, is that.  Over time, people started calling me 'Mercy' and I got used to it, or I got tired of correcting them, so it stuck."

"Why a dojo?" she asked curiously

"It's what I know how to do, more or less," he replied, sounding slightly uncertain.

"What do you mean, more or less?" she responded, picking up on his hesitation.

"I've never been the teacher before, it's a different perspective."

"I'll just bet it is."

"We're here," she announced, in front of one of Zanarkand's many tall buildings.  He tightened his grip on her hand for a moment.  "When do you perform again?  Where?"

"The Blitz Ace Club, near the Stadium, Wednesday night between 8 and 11."

Her mind raced.  Think girl, think.  You need to do something to send this man off properly.  He's too damn tall to kiss on the cheek.  What?  What?  In the club, when you touched his face, he looked blissed out, do that again, it's less obvious and easy to reach. Okay, here goes…

She raised her right hand to his cheek.  This time, she gently tucked some stray hair away before her hand settled against his skin.  Even the stubble of his beard felt good under her palm.  Her thumb stroked his face.  His eyes closed, the dark lashes long and thick against his cheeks.  He savored the moment, attempted to gather the threads of self-control that were slipping away.  He knew he already felt too much.  Physically, and emotionally.  He should leave before he did something seriously stupid.  But he did not want to go.  He finally managed to take a deep breath, and opened his eye.  Once he was looking back at her, she spoke.  "Good night, Auron."  Her voice was a throaty purr.  

He didn't move a step, but still, he felt himself being pulled closer.  His left hand rose from his side to gently hold her wrist and hand in place against his face.  He turned his head and moved his arm so he could press his lips into her palm and watch her expression as he did.  He intended it to be a chaste kiss, but the flame between them had other ideas.  There was a promise in the kiss instead.  She felt the tip of his tongue against her palm, not just his mouth.  Her eyes went wide, dark.  _Maybe_, she thought, _but too soon_.  He was not sure he would be able to walk away if he stayed much longer, it would be difficult enough at this moment.  

Reluctantly, Auron let go of her hands, said, "Good night, my lady," and strode alone into the night.  Mercy entered her building, and her apartment, equally alone.

…Spira…

Alone with his memories, dawn; such as it was on the Thunder Plains, found Auron awake, and bitter.  _She was supposed to reach the Farplane.  What went wrong?  Now, all I have left are memories.  And regrets_.

End Chapter Three


	5. Over My Head

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The song "Over My Head" was written by Christine McVie, performed by Fleetwood Mac, and "You Have to Hurt" was written by Frank Musker and Dominic King, performed by Carly Simon, and I don't own them, either.******

Between Yuna's announcement, and Rikku's whining, no one wanted to camp on the Thunder Plains, so they pushed on to reach the edge of the Macalania Woods, camping for the night just inside.  The transition areas made good campgrounds, the fiends were less numerous, and it was possible to camp with only one guard per shift in the night.  As usual the guard shifts are arranged so that Auron and Kimahri had the second and third shifts, as they were less affected by the broken night's sleep than the others.  After two nights without sleep, even Auron was weary.  He rested against a tree, not even intending to close his eyes, but slept deeply during the first watch of the night.  His own watch was uneventful, and he woke Kimahri for the third shift, to report that it had been a quiet night.  He laid down in his bedroll after Kimahri took up the watch, but the earlier rest and some hours of guard duty had left him too alert for easy slumber.  Lying awake, staring at the canopy of trees, he found that he no longer needed the excuse of the sake to lower the barrier to his memories, and that he was now willing to face the pain at the end, if it meant he could relive the sweetness of the journey.

…Zanarkand…Five years ago…Wednesday

In memory, Auron thought that those might have been some of the longest days he had ever endured, not helped by the fact that he was conscious for most of the time.  Sleep eluded him, and when he did catch it, he dreamed of her. Awake, he alternately berated himself for even considering any further involvement, and counting down the time until he saw her again.  What could he possibly have to offer this woman?  He was no longer even alive.  She was so very alive.  And beautiful.  And desirable.  She was like water in the desert to a thirsty man.  He wanted that water very, very much.  Tuesday night, he finally fell into a deep sleep, and had a very unusual dream.  In it, he heard a familiar voice, but one he couldn't quite recognize.  The voice spoke out of the darkness, telling him, "Guardian, in five years, her world will be destroyed by Sin, and many of the people in it will die, possibly including your lady.  Guardian, will your status matter in the face of so much destruction?  Let the lady choose."

Auron awoke with a start.  He knew that voice.  _Who was it?  Damn._  More awake, he pondered the words instead of the origin.  _The speaker was right.  In five years, Sin would return.  Jecht would be back to take the boy to Spira.  Take him too, to keep the boy safe a while longer.  Jecht's next visit would wreck havoc on this Zanarkand, killing a lot of people.  It didn't have to, but he knew it would.  Jecht would need to reach Tidus inside the city.  And, by then, he would gladly ruin the city and kill many of its citizens to do it.  Auron knew the voice was right about Mercy, too.  This wasn't about a lifetime; this was about five years, no more, whatever he might wish for, for her.  Life as she knew it would end when Sin came, even if she survived the destruction.  He could walk away from her, now, and never know if it was a better choice for her, or if she spent the next five years alone, and then didn't survive.  Or, if she would meet someone else tomorrow, if he walked away now.  But his gut twisted at the thought of either road.  He couldn't decide which was worse.  Regret walked down either path.  Better to continue to see her, be with her.  Find a way to tell her everything, and then let her choose_.  He saw the clock on the wall.  _Four in the morning.  Might as well get a little more sleep.  He would see her tonight.  To hell with everything else._

Her week wasn't any better, or any faster.  She was busy, but it didn't keep her from thinking about Auron, wondering what was happening to her.  What was happening between them.  Tuesday night, as usual, she went to Daf's place so they could practice their music.  He wanted to know what happened on Saturday.  She told her brother the abridged, abridged version of events, but he could see that she was keyed up, alive again.  He thought that it was good for her, even if she might get hurt in the end.  _And who knew, it might even work out this time_.  But he was not happy to discover that Auron left her outside the building Saturday night.  _If the man was really interested he should take better care of her than that.  Her brother would have to make sure of it_.

After their usual Wednesday dinner and wrangle about a playlist, she and Daf got to the club and signed up for a slot, one that should have them onstage around 9:30.  Mercy had to change in a curtained booth in the Green Room and get a stage-face on.  At a little after 8, she came out to look over the audience.  _Yes!_  Auron, as seemed usual, had found a second row table.  She grinned impishly at him.  He lips quirked up slightly in response, as though he were suppressing a smirk.  She decided to duck back inside the Green Room before she made a complete ass of herself.

She and Daf were onstage at 9:35.  The opening song was "Over my head".  As she sang "I'm over my head, but it sure feels nice."  He thought, _well, that's only fair.  I don't have much experience at this, whatever this was turning out to be.  Casual encounters, yes.  This, no.  They were both in over their heads, it seemed._  

A later number was about an older woman resisting the impulse to give advice about love to a younger one, but the chorus meant something more when he heard her sing it:

You have to hurt - to understand

You have to get by the best you can

Until you hurt - until you cry

You won't know about love

And the reason why

You have to hurt

She'd been hurt, he could see it on her face, hear it in her voice as she sang the words, and it was clear that she understood just how much life could hurt, not just love.  But she seemed to be opening herself be hurt again.  He felt again that sense of connection, that here was a woman who might understand some of what he had experienced, the loss, the pain.  _Maybe it was time_.

She was trying to tell him something, in the music.  It was why she had chosen those particular songs for tonight.  She was in over her head, and she knew it.  _It would be safer to back away now.  But safe didn't set your heart on fire, did it?_  There were two more songs to go now.  She saw Auron write something on a napkin, then he walked up and handed it to her.  She held it between her fingers and waited for a Dafydd's guitar solo to read it.  "Please sing Seven Wonders, Auron," was written on the scrap.  _I'd better get an explanation later_.  She picked up the end of the song, showed Daf the paper while he adjusted the tuning on his guitar for the last number.  He shrugged, looked over at the machine that did the back up instrumentals and nodded.  They could do the song if she wanted.  She nodded back, and moved to center stage and announced, "We'll close with Seven Wonders."  Auron mouthed the words "Thank you" to her silently, as she stuck the paper into a tiny pocket in her waistband.  _She was going to keep the damn thing, she just knew it._

After they finished the song, they said goodnight to the audience and left the stage.  She went straight to Auron's table.  The extra chair was out and the water was waiting.  As soon as she had taken some of the water, he asked her "Do you want to leave?"

"Yes, please.  Just, let me get my stuff."  She was as eager to get out of there as he was.

This time, while she scrubbed her face, Dafydd stepped out into the hall to confront the larger man.  He started in on Auron with no preamble.  "Don't you dare leave her outside the building this time, do you hear?  Take her to her own door."  Properly chastised by the man's obvious care for his sister, Auron replied, "It won't happen again."

Mercy stepped out into something that looked like it was about to get ugly.  "Excuse me, do you two even know each other?" she started, standing braced, with her hands on her hips, intending to either start, or stop a fight.  Dafydd, now somewhat sheepish, responded, "I don't believe we've been introduced, now that you mention it," which allowed the air to clear.

Mercy made the introductions, and the two men shook hands with something more like respect than challenge.  _At least it's progress_, she thought.  "Daf," she started to say.  "I know, I know, take your stuff home with me and bring it to dinner Friday.  Sure, Sis, no problem."  "Thanks, bro."  To Auron, Dafydd made one last shot, "Remember what you said."  "Yes," Auron responded.

Mercy naturally fell in on Auron's right as they walked away.  Just as naturally, he laced his fingers with hers.  "What was that all about?" she queried.  "Your brother was reminding me that I was remiss in not seeing you to your own door the other night.  He was correct.  I apologize."  She smiled up at him.  "Then see to it that it doesn't happen again."  His grin back had a wicked gleam that sent her heart racing.  " I assure you, my lady, it will never happen again."  He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb, causing flickers of heat to shoot up her arm.

They went to a neighborhood place she knew, on a direct line from the stadium club to her apartment.  She needed the liquid on her parched throat, but the place was a little too crowded for any serious conversation.  She did not want to ask any of the questions that were troubling her mind in this very public place.  There were just too many potential listeners.

Auron was in a quandary; he wanted to tell her more about himself, but how?  His Spira didn't quite match her Zanarkand, and she would catch that, quicker than most, and sooner rather than later if he said too much.  He was not a good liar in any case.  The best he could do was lie by omission, or misdirection.  Going too far down either path would cause trouble later.

Until they finished their drinks, they settled for discussing their current lives, a safe topic for this place.  It made them blend in with the crowd, in fact.  On a weekday night, most people were talking about their jobs.  "You implied that teaching was a lot different from what you thought it would be, or did I misunderstand?"

He was thoughtful, trying to put his feelings into words.  "It is…different.  I have been training since I was…very young.  It came easily to me.  I had sometimes trained others, but, always others like myself.  I had never taught classes before, especially large classes of 10 or 20 students, nor have I ever taught reluctant students, or…children.  It requires a great deal of…patience…something I sadly lack."

"Which are the easiest to teach?"

"The adult students, like yourself.  The ones who are there because they are truly interested, who really want to learn what I have to give them.  Also, the classes where the parents attend and learn with their children, where the parent provides a great deal of the discipline, and I need only teach the skills, if the child, and the parent are both willing to learn.  And if the child turns out to be ill suited to the training, the parent is already aware.  Few explanations are required.  If the child is suited, it can be a pleasure to train them, or at least not a burden.

"Which are the most difficult?"

He smiled ruefully.  "The little ones are the hardest.  And, unfortunately, they are the largest classes as well.  They are sent by their parents, whether the child wishes to be there or not.  Some are interested, or become interested, but most are not, and do not.  And many of them are too immature for even the most basic of the lessons, or are discipline problems for other reasons."  He stopped talking for several minutes.  Mercy put her hand over his, encouraging him to continue.  "I find the little ones hard to discipline."  He removed his dark glasses, laid them on the table.  "They find me frightening…But I must always have some of these classes to provide students for the more advanced classes, and because they are the most popular, and…I need to pay the rent.  At least, when the 18 year olds need to be disciplined, I do not feel guilty if I intimidate them…With those, sometimes, it is the only weapon I have."  He looked down at the table, a sad expression on his face.  She brought her hand up, smoothed a stray hair away, touched his cheek.  He turned his face towards hers, as she brushed her thumb against the corner of his mouth.  He smiled at her now, unable to resist the warmth of her caress.

_Enough of this_, he thought.  "What about your 'day job'?" he asked.

"Ick," was her first response, basically a rude noise.  "One of life's little ironies.  Now that I have the position I always wanted, or close to it, I don't actually get to do any of the things that caused me to go into the Archives in the first place.  I wanted to do historic research, and I wanted to help other people with their research.  I really enjoy working with the documents people give us, you know, when somebody finds their family papers locked away and they give us the diary or we make a copy so that anyone who wants can read it and see what life was really like 200 years ago or find out that their great-great-grandfather knew Lord So-and-So or led the first expedition to such and such because there's this old sphere we have in the archives that I or someone like me cataloged.  I love all of that.  It's what I was trained to do.  Or to research in those old diaries and journals and spheres and pictures and trace patterns of how things used to be and how that influences how things are now.  But I don't get to do any of that any more unless it's on my own time, pretty much.  Now I spend my time in meetings, talking about how other people do those things, or don't do those things.  Or how we can make it easier for other people to do those things.  Sometimes I wonder where I went wrong."  She stopped, embarrassed at having said too much.  It was her turn to look at the table.  "Sorry.  Not your problem."  He tilted her face up to meet his eye.  "It is if you want to share it," he said quietly.

Her eyes looked into his for a frozen moment, seeming to assess the sincerity of his offer.  Then, her eyes closed briefly, and her face softened.  She opened her eyes again to look back into his.  "Let's get out of here, please?"  She took them to one of the towers that rose high above the city, one not much out of the way.  Midweek, they would be alone at this hour.  As they walked, hands linked, she asked, "Why did you leave Luca?"

"My older brother inherited everything.  It was my duty to leave and…seek my fortune elsewhere."  

"Do you always do your duty?"

"Yes."  She looked up into his face; saw the seriousness of his answer written there.  She had caught the slight hesitation, but sensed it didn't conceal anything important.  She was sure that she had found the central core of the man with the impromptu question.  It would make what she wanted to ask a little easier, she hoped.

They had to climb the stairs the last two stories to the top balcony of the tower.  People clearly weren't supposed to be up here at night.  She took the stairs in front of him, so he could catch her if she stumbled.  He was delighted to watch the sway of her hips as she climbed, delighted, and aroused.

At the top, he asked, "Why are we up here?"

"I like the view," she replied, as she leaned on the safety rail on her forearms, with her hands clasped together in front of her.  He leaned on the rail next to her, clasping his own hands together in the same manner.  He made sure to take a position close to hers, so close that his right shoulder is pressed into her left.  He could feel the coiled tension in her, just from that one point of contact.

"I also wanted to ask you something, or a couple of somethings, and where we were was way too crowded," she continued.  

"Go on."

"Why Seven Wonders?"

He stared down at his clasped hands, either trying to find the words, or the courage to say them.  Finally he looked at her, and began.  "On my journey, with my friends, we did see the seven wonders, and we did make the path to the rainbow's end, or something close enough, I think."  He paused.  "I thought that journey was my perfect moment, and that it would never come again for me.  Then I heard you, saw you, heard that song, and I didn't know anymore.  You captured it so perfectly.  How did you know what I felt?"  The sudden anguish in his voice, on his face, was too much for her to bear, and yet she wanted to share it.  _What is it he doesn't know?_  She turned and buried her face in his shoulder, overwhelmed by the depth of the emotion in him.  Auron unclasped his hands, and cupped the back of her head to press it against his shoulder, anchoring her against him.  _I don't know anymore if that perfect moment was then, or now_, he thought.

She felt raw, exposed.  She had gotten more than she bargained on.  Way more.  She shook her head a little, so Auron released her.  She looked up.  "Let's step back a bit.  We're not supposed to be up here, after all."  As they drew back into the shadows of the support column, she shivered with cold.  Her jacket was too light to be up this high.  Auron stood behind her, blocking the wind, and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her back against his chest.  She immediately settled in to the warmth of his body, her right hand clasped over his.  She was enveloped by his scent, slightly spicy, exotic.  Her head was resting on something this was not natural.  _I could learn to hate that leather breastplate pretty quick_.  It had been a long time since she'd been this close to a man.  She'd forgotten how good it felt.  _No, on second thought, it never felt this good_.  Her eyes closed, dinking in the sensations of warmth, heat, fire.  "Mmmm," escaped her lips.  She was aware of every inch where their bodies touched, and of her own reactions, especially the damp heat between her legs.  _Hell, she felt as though her entire body was turning to liquid in his arms_.  It was having the opposite effect on him.

His lips were near her ear.  "What else did you want to ask me?"  His warm breath on her skin made her wonder what it would be like to feel that mouth on hers.  Mentally shaking herself out of her reverie, she remembered her other question.  She wasn't sure she wanted to see his face; she knew that sometimes it was easier to bare your soul if you could forget someone was listening.  

"This is an important question, or, at least, I think it is.  Give me a minute to explain.  The other night you asked why I sing, and I told you that it's what my soul needs to make me whole.  I enjoy my day job, well, I used to, anyway, and it certainly provides the creature comforts, but music feeds my soul.  Auron, have you ever asked yourself what you need?"

Her grip on his arms had tightened.  He knew this was important to her, but he didn't know why, or he only saw it dimly, at best.  "I have always done my duty," and only he knew what it had, and would, cost him.  "I have never had the luxury of worrying overmuch about what I wanted."

There was a chill in his voice she didn't care for, but she pressed on.  If she couldn't make him understand, well, she didn't think it would matter after that. "Auron, I didn't say want, I said need.  We're both adults, only children think they can have whatever they want.  Grown ups know you can't have everything you want.  Hell, some days, you can't have anything you want.  I need my music.  I'd be less of a person without it.  The fact that I don't make money performing doesn't matter.  I believe that if an adult doesn't know what they truly need to make themselves complete, something festers inside and turns sour.  That's what regrets are made of.  Sometimes, you can't have what you need because you find out too late, or you try your best and fail, or you have a duty that takes precedence, but if you don't do so knowingly, it means nothing but grief.  But if you can figure out what you truly need, usually, if you try hard enough, you can find a way.  Now do you understand?"

Auron thought, not of himself, but of his older brother, Aidan.  All his life, Auron had always known that Aidan would inherit the family lands outside Luca, and that he was just the 'spare'.  He hadn't minded, much.  He didn't want the land, or the responsibilities that went with it.  Second sons in their family, those that remained second sons into adulthood, either went into the priesthood or the warrior-monks.  It was tradition.  His early aptitude at martial arts training made his path clear, and he welcomed it.  But Aidan showed both the talent, and the desire to pursue the training of the Black Mages, and their parents would have none of it.  Learning basic spellcasting was one thing, but Aidan felt the calling to become a true disciple of the craft, and their parents forbid it.  He began practicing in secret, often hiding in obscure places to study his spellbooks.  When their parents discovered Aidan's cache of spellbooks, he was severely punished, and all the local mages were contacted and forbidden to teach the boy any further.  His older brother had always believed that Auron had betrayed him, and Auron had never been able to convince him otherwise.  Aidan had been repeatedly punished by their father, until he had finally given up his black magic.  The denial of his dream had made him a bitter young man.  Sin had killed both their parents when Aidan was 19, and Auron 15.  There had been nothing more for him at home after that, so Auron had left for Bevelle and the warrior-monks.  Aidan had been 14 years old when he had been compelled to deny the needs of his soul.  And he had festered and turned sour.  Mercy was right.  The irony of it all was that the entire settlement had been wiped out by Sin five years ago, including his brother Aidan.

Auron nodded, then realized Mercy couldn't see it.  "I understand.  But I have never thought about it before."  _I have an answer for my brother, but not for myself_, he thought.  Then he looked down at the woman in his arms and was suddenly afraid that he did have answer.

She leaned back into him, where she had been tense a moment before.  Briefly, she let his strength support her.  Not an indulgence she often allowed herself.  She hadn't had anyone to lean on in a long time, physically or any other way, except her brother, of course, but it wasn't the same.  After a few peaceful minutes she said, "Auron, it's late.  Walk me home, please."

As they walked toward her apartment, he asked if she had to work in the morning.  "No, I work tomorrow night until 9, why?"  

"How do you get home?"

"I walk."

"Alone?"

"Of course.  It's perfectly safe."

"Then why did your brother insist…?

"He worries about me.  We've looked out for each other for a long time.  He still doesn't like me walking home alone on Thursday nights, but I've been doing it for years."

"Let me walk you home tomorrow night.  I insist.  To make up for my neglect the other night."

She smiled up at him.  "Well, if you insist."  He smiled back.  "I do."

"Then meet me at the City Archives, 4th floor East Service Desk, no later than 8:45.  They won't let anyone in after that."

"I'll be there."

The walk home refreshed her.  This was the bad news.  Getting up in the morning in time to get everything done and still get to work by 1 was going to be a real pain.  She hated mornings.

When they reached her building, Auron came in with her.  He had promised, after all.  Her apartment was at the end of the hall, on the 20th floor.  High enough to have an okay, but not great, view.  The price went up as the floors did, and she had been more interested in space than view when she bought the place five years previously.

Upon arriving at her own door, she blurted out, "Look, you've come this far, you might as well come in."  Not the most gracious invitation, but, at past midnight, graciousness was in short supply.  He raised a brow quizzically, but then inclined his head in assent.  She unlocked the door and ushered him inside.

The room in front of him was spacious, and clearly served as a living room.  The windows opposite held a view of the city, filled with starlight.  There were doors to the left, clearly leading to the rest of the apartment, although one open doorway was next to the entryway, the kitchen, it seemed.  Mercy hung her jacket on a rack beside the front door.  "I'm going to make tea.  Want some?"  He didn't want to put her to any trouble, so he agreed.  He stood and looked out the windows, fascinated by the sparkling view of the city.  He realized that he was much warmer here than he had been outside, so he unbuckled the belt at his waist and removed his coat.  He laid it over the end of the couch.  He hesitated for a few seconds, and then he unbuckled the bracer on his left arm, and placed it on a chair, along with his glove.  He carefully set his glasses on the table.  He'd left the collar at home.  It had become a nuisance.  He went to the kitchen to see if he could 'help'.

When he came through the doorway into the kitchen, Mercy thought he looked good enough to eat.  Literally.  _The more of him she saw, the better he looked_.  The water boiled.  _Why had she suggested tea?  She was too hot all ready_.  The smirk on his face suggested that he was aware of it, too, damn him.  She poured the water into the teapot.  "Please carry the tray into the living room.  Just put it down on the table in front of the sofa."  She watched him walk toward the living room ahead of her.  _The back view was well worth watching.  Mmm, delicious_.

Auron put the tray on the table, and went to examine the decorations on the walls behind the couch while Mercy finished with the tea.  He was astonished to see the paintings, one a fine picture of two coeurls, one realistically detailed and one fantastic coeurl, black with crimson whiskers and tail, and a beautifully drawn but unlabelled map of Spira, in addition to the display of the blades she had inherited from her grandmother.  _Where had that map come from?_  He turned to examine the blades more closely.  "May I?"  He would never touch them without her permission.

"Please do."

Respectfully, he lifted the long dagger from the wall and inspected it carefully.  It was well cared for, but he could also judge that it was not just decorative.  Mercy did practice with it regularly.  "They are beautiful weapons."

"Thank you.  The tea is ready."

She had only turned the lights on partway, so the room was lit more by the moonlight and starlight from the windows than from within.  Thanks to his coat, part of the sofa was not available, so she sat in the middle of the cushions.  When the tea had finished steeping, he sat near her, close enough to touch, if either of them wanted.  She busied herself with the tea, calm on the surface, confused within.  She turned on the cushions to face him, while holding the mug of tea in front of her with both hands, like a shield.  They could talk until she decided what to do.  _We could just go to bed_, her eyes swept over him.  _I want him enough.  Hell, who wouldn't?  But it's just so empty in the morning.  It's not worth it anymore.  And there might be something more here, if we wait for it.  Maybe.  I think he might accept me as I am.  Maybe.  Big maybe_.

He turned to face her, rested his arm along the back of the couch, picked up his mug to drink, turned so he could face her.  "What happened to your parents?"

_Why is it we never seem to ask each other easy questions?_  "One day, my parents went out into the harbor for a pleasure cruise.  It was supposed to be an afternoon excursion.  The pilot decided to leave the harbor, to go out into the open ocean, he wanted to show his passengers the view of the city from farther out.  It is beautiful from a distance, but more dangerous.  It was supposed to be only slightly more dangerous.  Several of the surviving passengers had distance viewers, to use for looking at the cityscape, but, unfortunately, no one had a sphere, so there are no pictures, just reports.  Most of the passengers were looking at the city, but at least one of the crew was looking out to sea, and reported an unusually large sea creature, or monster, fairly close to the ship.  It didn't attack, but it was swimming near by, and when it dove under the water, the wake swamped the small craft, not just capsizing it, but also causing it to break apart.  My mother was struck in the head by a piece of flotsam, and lost consciousness.  She sank.  My father tried to save her.  They both drowned."  _Sin_, he thought to himself.

Mercy, focused on the past, didn't realize that her hands were white as she gripped the mug, or that her eyes were huge, lost, and that tears were streaming down her face.  Auron put his own cup down, and gently removed hers from her hands.  Then he pulled her, unresisting, into his arms.  He stroked her head and back soothingly as she continued to speak.

"I was so alone.  I was an only child, and I was a little weird, I guess."  She sniffled, rubbing her eyes with her hands.  She became aware of her position, and tried to get a little more comfortable, stealing one of her arms around his waist, settling her head against his chest.  "Actually, I was a lot weird.  Too sharp, too smart, too much of a smart-ass.  Too much of a loner.  Into my music, the studies I enjoyed, skating by on the ones I didn't.  Then, it was like I was some kind of bad luck or something.  Kids think they're immortal.  And they don't like change, not really.  I was a constant reminder that, well, maybe they weren't immortal, and that things could change in ways they weren't expecting."  She stopped to catch her breath.  Then she went on.  "I wasn't supposed to be serious about the music, not really.  My parents paid for the lessons, but they always considered it a hobby, I guess.  After my folks died, it was a solace, and an escape."  Her gaze turned inward, and filled with fear.  "But if my parents hadn't died, if I hadn't been so alone, I might not have gone to that musicians' meet, and I wouldn't have met Daf that day.  I don't know if he would have found anyone else there he could have turned to.  I don't know what would have happened to him."  With each sentence, her fist drummed on his breastplate.  She couldn't hurt him this way, but he was worried about her.  Her eyes were black pools.  She was speaking from the depths of a nightmare, and old one that she had carried alone, a long, long time.  He let her go on.  It was better for her to get it out of her system.  "Sooner or later, I think his dad would have killed him, maybe not on purpose, but Daf would have been just as dead.  Auron, what if I hadn't been there that day?"  She was shaking now, shivering in shock and reaction.  She threw her arms around him, but she couldn't get close enough to get warm.  He held her as close as he could, but he could tell that it wasn't working, even her teeth were chattering, no matter how much he stroked her back, murmured in her ear.  The emotional storm had become a physical reaction, and he couldn't seem to warm her enough to ease the chill in her heart.

His armor was in the way.  One-handed, he released the clips at his sides, and held her away just long enough to raise the molded leather piece over his head.  He drew her back against him as it fell to the floor behind the sofa.  He held her close, and her shuddering began to ease as she settled against his body, her arms around his waist, her head against his shoulder, finally able to drink in enough of his body's heat.  She felt so good in his arms.  As he ran his hands down her back, feeling the lithe muscles from her shoulders to her waist, he had to remind himself that what she needed now was comfort.  He was too aware of the fullness of her breasts pressed against his chest, the tightness in his groin.  It had been a long time since he had held a woman close this way, or even wanted to.  He looked down at her face.  He continued to hold her, as she cried herself out.  It took him a long time to realize that she had fallen asleep.  He thought he ought to be insulted, but he was oddly pleased.  _She must feel safe_.  He reached out with his fingertips, and snagged his coat from the other end of the couch.  He leaned back, settling her into a more comfortable position against his chest.  Then, he pulled the coat over them both, propped his feet on the table, and closed his eyes.

She woke a couple of hours later, because her pillow wasn't as soft as usual, and in sleep, she couldn't quite figure out why.  Waking, she tried to press her face even more deeply into Auron's shoulder, but she also tried uncurling her legs and a few other changes of position, and the mix of successes and failures caused her to wake up completely.  The starlight from the windows was sufficient to allow her to study his face.  In sleep, he looked less severe, the frown lines that were starting to form smoothed away in repose.  He barely looked the 30 years he claimed.  The planes of his face were beautifully sculpted, the scar merely giving him a roguish air.  _She wanted to taste his mouth.  He was asleep, he would never know.  _The longer she stared, the more she was tempted.  She didn't notice the glitter of his barely open eye.  He was awake, and watching her.  She licked her lips, and placed her hands on his shoulders.  At last, she leaned in, whispered, "Wake up, sweetheart", and gently pressed her lips to his.  Her voice, and touch, were so soft, it was clear she did not intend to wake him yet, but she had not bargained on his already being awake.  She hadn't noticed that every time she had shifted position, his arms had stayed clasped around her, not likely if he'd still been asleep.

When her lips touched his, fire lanced through them both, so fast, it was almost like pain.  It burned through the normal, tentative first steps, and they were in the midst of a firestorm.  Their mouths were fused together, tongues trying to taste everything, all at once.  He turned her so that she sprawled across his lap; it was easier for him to hold her, her breasts against his chest.  The sensation burned through them both.  She was glad of the impulse that had made him shed the last of his armor.  The thin shirt that he wore under it was no barrier to her fingers.  She could feel taut muscles of his back shift under her hands as he moved.  She explored his back, and then the sculpted planes of his chest and they continued to kiss and caress.  His fingers traced the long curve of her spine, down her back, then his palms grazed along her sides.  Part of her was trying to think _this is too fast _while the rest was purring _that feels so good_ about kisses that licked down her neck and along her shoulder, or about the fingertips that traced the low neck of her shirt, and left a trail of fire over the edge of her breasts.  She wanted more.  His mouth came back to hers, and she sucked on his lower lip when he kissed her.  He groaned.  He wanted to carry her to bed.  Now.  _Hell, this couch was big enough for what he had in mind_.  That half-familiar voice whispered again, "It will be sweeter if you wait."  Auron was in no mood to listen to it.  It would be very painful to listen.  He was losing himself in her, and he didn't want to stop now.  She brought her hands up to his face, and then she kissed him, long and deep.  She was losing control, fast.  _It was all too fast, too soon_, she thought again.  _Slow down, take a deep breath_.  She felt light-headed.  Slowly, reluctantly, she started to slow the pace.  He let her lead him out of the fire, gently, gradually.  Why, he wasn't sure.  _Maybe he was listening to that voice, after all.  Maybe he was also out of his mind, _he thought to himself.

A long time later, they were just holding each other again, but her whole body still thrummed with desire, and he was hard as stone.  It would take next to nothing to start the fire again.  Her body was ready, eager, but her heart was much less certain.  If they waited until they knew each other better, they might have something real.  One-night stands just left her feeling even lonelier in the morning.  They weren't worth it any more.  She hoped she could make him understand, or at least stall the man a little.  She had a feeling they didn't need much time, just a little bit.

"Auron?"

"Mmm?" he murmured.  He was nibbling on her neck again.  She curled into his embrace, giving herself to the sensation.  He kissed her again, taking a long time about it, letting the fire build up slowly this time.  Unthinking, she started to pull his t-shirt up.  When her hand found the bare skin at his waist, she thought again, _too soon, too fast, not now, not yet, damn!_ and set her arms around his neck, where they would hopefully cause less trouble.  She opened her eyes, looked into his with, she hoped, a serious expression on her face.  He got enough of his brain working to focus on her face and hold his hands still, but it was, well, difficult.  _Be straight about this,_ she thought to herself, _you've only got about one chance_.  Out loud, "Auron, if we're ever going to be lovers, I want to know you a little better than I do now, and I sure as hell want more time than is left of this night.  A lot more," she said with a grin.  Then her eyes roamed over his face, seriously now, trying to gauge his reaction.  In spite of the momentary grin, this was no game she was playing, but many men would have taken it as one.  Auron saw she was serious, and again he heard that voice in the recesses of his mind, "It will be sweeter if you wait."  Mercy's small store of patience reached its limit.  "Is this okay?" she questioned.  His hand cupped her cheek.  "Difficult, but bearable."  Then he grinned at her in return.  "Once more before I leave?"  He had promised, but something in his eye…She nodded, then swallowed hard past a sudden lump in her throat.  _What was he thinking?_

_Just because he had promised to wait, didn't mean he couldn't try to convince her to change her mind_, he thought, as kissed her deeply, over and over again.  His lips licked their way from her mouth down her neck to her collarbone, and back up again.  She was on fire, her arms around him, rubbing herself against him.  Her breasts felt swollen, her nipples ached for him to touch them.  His hand traced the deep v of her shirt, dipped inside to cup the swell of one breast.  Her back arched as she pressed herself into his palm, the generous globe overflowing his hand.  He teased the peak with his thumb and forefinger, and she moaned into his mouth as he kissed her.  This wasn't enough for either of them, they both wanted more.  He kept hearing that voice, "It will be sweeter if you wait."  _Damn!_

_He had promised, and he always kept his promises.  She had a very wicked idea, but she didn't want to go too far, tonight_.  She got up on her knees, and put her hands on his shoulders, then shifted position so that her knees were on either side of his thighs, straddling him, flagrantly rubbing herself the full length of him.  His head fell back against the couch.  _This was torture.  He had promised to wait—did she have to punish him like this?_  He wanted, no needed to punish her the same way, and make sure she continued as long as possible.  He brought her head down for a slow, lingering kiss, then turned his attention to her breasts.  The more attention he gave, the more her hips bucked in response.  He kept his other hand low on her backside, pressing her hips into his groin.  If she was going to torture him, he was going to enjoy every inch of it.  Their kisses anticipated an act their bodies yearned for, but rational thought was weakly delaying.

She had let go of nearly all restraint, temporarily.  In the sweet haze of sensation, some rational thought was trying to break through.  _If we're not going any further tonight, we need to stop soon, or we'll both die or something.  But there are worse ways_…

His roaming hand found the bow at the back of her shirt.  And stilled.  If he pulled it, he didn't think he would be able to stop.  And he had promised.  "It will be sweeter if you wait," the voice said.  "Damn you," Auron growled back, but in the dark of his mind.  More to the point, he would not break his break his word to her, so they needed to slow down again, and he must go, soon.  If this were to start another time tonight…

Luckily, they were of the same mind, as it was more difficult to step back than before.  Eventually they ended as they began, with Mercy across Auron's lap, her head pillowed on his shoulder.  With the adrenaline fading, she yawned sleepily, he realized that it was time for him to leave.

They ended the evening, now nearly morning, almost where it should have begun.  She unlocked the door for him to go and they held each other, gently this time.  She looked up into his face.  He leaned down to kiss her, a soft, lingering kiss, trying not to kindle the fire between them.  Auron smiled down at her.  "I will see you later this evening.  Good night, my lady."  A small grin crossed her face.  "Good morning, Auron.  See you later."  She closed the door, undressed and fell into bed, and sleep.

Auron strode through the city, attempted to understand what was happening to him, and failed.  His mind returned to the story she told him, about her parents.  Her life, even in Zanarkand, had also been touched by Sin.

Her other question kept him awake.  _What did he need?_

…Spira…

Alone in Spira, in the strange light that filtered through the trees of the Macalania Woods, he was all too aware of the answer.  Not that it mattered anymore.

End Chapter Four


	6. She Works Hard for the Money

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  

The title of the chapter is from the song "She Works Hard for the Money", originally performed by Donna Summer********

The twisting paths of the Macalania Woods were shrouded in endless twilight.  There seemed to be no difference between day and night under the enchanted trees.  In Zanarkand, those first days had seemed endless.  He remembered searching every room for clocks, believing that more time must have passed than it actually had.

…Zanarkand…five years ago…Thursday

Mercy had realized early in the evening that there was a flaw in her plan to have Auron meet her at work that night.  _By the next morning, every single member of the staff will know that a man came to pick her up at work that night.  Nothing in Zanarkand traveled faster than the speed of gossip.  It would be the end of her reputation as the "ice lady".  Even if there wasn't all that much to tell.  Yet_.  She grinned.

Mercy was working on the desk with another Archivist, a young, blonde woman named Trezza.  At an hour before closing, she tried to sound casual when she told her, somewhat wryly, "Someone is going to meet me here around 8:45.  If I'm with a patron, try not to let him get away." 

"But how will I know it's him?"

"Don't worry, you'll know," came Mercy's rather cryptic response.

Mercy got involved with a complicated research request a few minutes later, and was still working with the budding scholar in a far corner when Auron arrived, more than half an hour later.  He saw the sign over the desk, so he knew he was in the right place, but he didn't see Mercy.  By this time, whenever he was meeting Mercy, he left his collar at home, so Trezza was able to get a good look at him.  She understood Mercy's mysterious "you'll know" immediately, she just didn't believe it.  _Gorgeous, here, is picking up the ice queen?  Who would have guessed?  Just wait till this gets around_.  Addressing the mystery guest, she said, "Excuse me, sir, can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Mercy.  Is she here?"

"Yes, she's helping someone right now, is there anything I can do for you?"  Trezza leaned way over the desk.  She couldn't help herself.

"I'll wait."  He stood on the other side of the desk, near the vacant chair surrounded by paperwork.  _Mercy's_, he assumed.  Trezza resumed her seat, but she continued to watch him as he scanned the room, searching for Mercy.  The blonde was getting on his nerves.  Finally, he said, "Can I help you?" in an annoyed tone.  She sighed.  "Yes, but Mercy wouldn't leave enough of me to bury."  At last, she turned back to her work and stopped staring at him.

Mercy walked up to Auron, just then, and felt a sudden, female need to mark her territory.  As soon as she was close enough, she placed both hands on his arm and put some downward pressure into the gesture.  He smiled indulgently as he got the point.  He leaned over, just enough for her to kiss him on the cheek.  Trezza also got the point, especially since it would make the rounds of gossip that much juicier.  The unmistakable message was 'Mine.  Look, don't touch.'

Mercy told Auron, "I need to go to my office, get my stuff and wait by the exit until the public is out of the building.  Let's go."  To Trezza, "Good night."  The younger woman mumbled, "'Night," in response.

They rode the lift to her office, which was several floors higher than the public service area, meaning it had a much nicer view of the central city.  She brought the lights up while she retrieved her belongings.  She was absurdly pleased to see that although he could clearly see the size of her office, he was neither unduly impressed nor bothered by it, both reactions she had seen before.  He was more interested in the artwork.  She had a collection of illustrated maps on the walls, of the city, and of the world as it was reported to be outside Zanarkand.  She ushered him out so she could lock up, and they rode down to the main entrance.  He watched her as the public and staff filed out of the building, then they exited as the security staff locked up behind them.  Automatically, he clasped her hand as she steered them someplace they could get a drink and conversation.  She was too tired for anything else tonight.

"Why do you do that?" he asked, once they were settled.  

"You mean work at night, or the closing thing?"

"Both, either?" he queried.

"I work Thursday nights so I don't have to get up early Thursday mornings after a Wednesday night performance.  I get such a rush, onstage; it's pretty hard to go to sleep afterwards.  And I'm not a morning person.  The closing thing, well, sometimes people don't want to leave at closing time, the public, I mean.  Sometimes, they just get mean, and security handles them.  Other times, they want to talk to someone in charge about how their taxes pay for the Archives and they knew Lord so-and-so and they basically want to be shown some respect, or they want someone to prove that there's a written rule why they can't stay late, and they won't accept it from anyone except the person in charge, and, if I'm there, then it's my job."

"Do you have to work at night?" he was still puzzled.

"Not anymore, but then I'd have to make some other arrangements for Thursday mornings.  Ugh!" she said with a grimace.

"Auron, tell me about your journey, the one you and your friends took, please?"

Inwardly, his mind reeled.  _He wanted to tell her, but how?  What to omit, so she didn't think him mad?  Braska was safe, but not Jecht, and not Zanarkand, or Yevon, or Sin, or the Aeons, or the fayth, or the Summoning, or Yunalesca, or who knew what else_.  He told her as much as he could.  He didn't lie, he just edited.  A great deal.

She could tell that a lot was unsaid.  It didn't matter right now.  What he did say had the ring of truth.  She assumed that the omissions were simply too painful to say aloud.  It was clear he had lost two people who were very precious to him.  She wondered if she was the first person he had told even this much.  She wondered if there was any way she could ease his suffering.

Even saying this much had been cathartic, a release of long-pent up grief.  He hadn't shared this much of himself with anyone in a long time, maybe too long.  There had been no one for him to turn to since he had lost Braska, and Jecht.  _Why this woman, this time, this place?_

Just then, she noticed the time on the clock over the bar.  _Ouch, it was later than she thought_.  She tended to lose track of time when she was with Auron.  She leaned her head against his shoulder, rubbed her face against his coat, wishing it was bare skin.  She looked up at him through half closed lids, and spoke without thinking, "I'm tired, love, take me home."  Her face colored as she realized what she had said, but decided that he could take it however he wanted to, she was too tired to worry about her subconscious right now.  He was more than a little stunned, but thought she couldn't have meant the word seriously, so he just slapped some coins on the table, and nodded in agreement.  The rose and headed for her place.

The moment of shock on his face made her wonder if he would keep away from her as they walked the rest of the way back to her building, but the habit was already too established.  He laced his fingers with hers as soon as they were both standing, and didn't let go until they reached her door.  

He felt too unsure of his ground to risk saying anything, and she was too tired to trust herself to speak, so they had walked in silence on the trip to her apartment.  On the ride in the elevator, he had broken it to ask, "Do you sing tomorrow night?"

"Yes, same place as last Friday."

"What time?"

"We usually try for a slot between 10 and 11, but the place gets packed by 9:00.  You should come before that if you want a decent table.  You were lucky last week to get such a good spot."  _Up to you_, she thought to herself.

At her door, he released her hand, and stepped back.  Now that they had arrived, he was afraid to touch her.  He had promised her that they would wait until she was ready.  Until there was more time.  He could see how tired she was.  _It would be so easy to come into the apartment with her, now.  Stay the night, just to sleep.  She slept in his arms last night, on the couch.  Why not tonight?  Because tomorrow morning before she had to go to work was probably not exactly what she had in mind, either_.  He wasn't sure he could resist temptation if he touched her again, not when her apartment was just on the other side of the door.  He tried to keep temptation a safe distance away, uncertain of the right thing to do.  

_This is insane.  One misplaced word, and he's practically put up all the barriers again_, or so it seemed to her.  _Maybe I'm just tired, and this will all seem ridiculous in the morning.  Or I'll seem ridiculous in the morning_.  They stared at each other, neither certain what to do, what to say.

He wanted to kiss her goodnight, but knew he wouldn't want to stop.  Talking with her, tonight, about the pilgrimage, he understood better what she had meant the previous evening.  They might have more between them.  Comfort, understanding, sharing.  Not just sex.  Emotions he wasn't ready to put a name to.  Pushing her before she was ready, or when she was too tired, wouldn't help.

In complete confusion, he said her name.  Just her name, at first.  "Mercy."  It was almost a plea.  Then, with more control of himself, "Good night, my lady."  He turned, and plodded slowly down the hall, toward the elevator.

She replied quietly, not even sure he could hear, "Good night, Auron," and turned to unlock the door.  He managed three steps down the hallway.  That was all.  He turned on his heel.  It only took him two to return to her.  Then his hands were on her arms, spinning her around to face him.  He used his weight to pin her to the door as his mouth claimed hers.  Only when he felt her hands grip his arms in return did he let go of her, to draw the length of her against his taller body.  She twined her arms around his neck, as her back arched.  His only coherent thought was that they needed to stay on this side of the door if he was going to keep his promise.  She placed her hands on either side of his face, standing on her toes so she could kiss him this time, long and deep. She tried to use her arms around his neck to balance out the difference in their height, as he held her close in his arms, his hands under the light jacket she wore.  With a groan, his hand dropped low against her backside, pressed her hips against his.  She ground her hips against him, and they kissed deeply.  Inspiration struck.  He looped an arm under her, and lifted her until her legs could lock around his waist, while her arms draped around his neck.  With her back against the door, they could stay like this for a long time.

Time just disappeared.  Any neighbor with a security cam pointed toward her door got one hell of a show.  Their kisses were long, deep, sometimes fast, sometimes achingly slow.  If he leaned over, he could suck her nipples through her shirt, which drove her insane.  Her reaction, and his own, almost sent him over the edge.  She licked the pulse point in his neck, sucked his ear, nibbled his lower lip, whatever seemed likely to make him lose control.  His hands were on the bare skin of her back, under her shirt.  His hands were warm, her skin was on fire.  They only eased off when her ankles began to unlock of their own accord.

They were both breathless, and he had to hold her up for a while, her knees were weak, her ankles, too.  She giggled a little.  "What are you thinking?" he asked.  His voice was even huskier than usual.

"I was wondering if higher heels would solve this problem."

"A bed would solve this problem," he growled low in response.

"Soon," she purred in response.  _It was time to call it a night_, she thought_, before that soon became now.  Even tomorrow night would normally be too soon, but she felt that this, this whatever it was, wasn't really normal anyway_.

He thought he'd probably just said enough.  He also knew enough about Zanarkand after five years to realize that tomorrow night there would be enough time.  All he had to do was wait.  He had no desire to wait.  His desires were all for now.  "Then I will see you tomorrow night."  Suddenly, the words were filled with a double meaning.

"Yes."

"Farewell, my lady."

She closed the door behind her, got ready for bed, tried to think through a tangle of heated memories, sexual anticipation, emotional overload, fading adrenaline, and exhaustion.  She was too tired to sleep.  She lay awake, thinking about Auron.  _Not just the sexual heat, although that was part of it.  She was no shy virgin; she'd had lovers before.  It hadn't been like this.  This was like standing on the edge of a volcano.  No, wrong metaphor.  This was like being the volcano.  It's been dormant a long time, but now it's awake.  But it's awake because of everything else.  He accepts me as I am.  I think.  He doesn't seem to flinch at anything I do that's important to me, like my music or my martial arts training.  Most of the men I've even thought about seeing want me to give up one or the other, or both.  Instead, the music fascinates him, and the martial arts are a shared interest.  That's got to be rare for him, too_.

It's been a long time since I've told anyone about Daf.  Or about my folks.  People think I should be over it somehow.  It's hard to open up that much.  But he really listened.  It was good to lean on someone, for a little while, knowing it wouldn't mean he thought I was weak.  He leaned on me, too, I think.  He probably told me more about himself than he's told anyone in years.  But, some of those places aren't on any official map I've ever seen.  Besaid, Kilika, José?  Still, I swear he was telling the truth as he saw it.  There's more to his story.  He'll tell me when he's ready.

_Why did I call him 'love' earlier?  Because I was tired, and it just slipped out, I guess.  Slipped out of where?  Your heart, you idiot.  Don't you know the truth when you hear it?_  She sat up in bed with a jerk.  _I'm falling in love with him.  Oh bloody hell.  That changes everything._

Auron walked home slowly.  He still had too much on his mind.  Most of it to do with Mercy.  Why had he told her so much about the pilgrimage?  She would know half of it didn't match this Zanarkand, and she would think he was out of his mind.  _Does it really matter what she thinks, as long as you get into her bed?_  That voice was his own, undoubtedly his baser instincts.  _I'm clearly not getting enough sleep.  Maybe I am going out of my mind._

It mattered very much what she thought.  He had been alone too long.  Yes, he wanted to get into her bed, but it was more than that.  He enjoyed their conversations, and their silences.  He had missed friendship, and now, he had that back again.  The closeness to another person, someone he could share his thoughts and feelings with.  And when she had called him 'love' in the café tonight, his heart had stopped beating.

He had to sit down_.  I'm falling in love with her_, he thought.  _By the fayth, now what?_  _He could not love her and not tell her the truth, about himself, about this Zanarkand, about everything.  She would probably think he was a lunatic and show him the door._  He smiled to himself, but the smile was sad around the edges.  _He would just have to love her so well that she would be willing to keep him around, even if she did think he was crazy.  It was worth trying.  She would believe him eventually_, he realized.  _Her life had already been touched by Sin_.  More soberly, he thought, _they would have five years, and then he would have to take the boy, and return to Spira, to fulfill his promises to Jecht, and Braska.  And when Jecht destroyed the city_…his gloved fist broke through the wooden bench, raining splinters on the ground below.

…Spira…

On Spira, in a cold camp in the Macalania Woods, Auron had fallen into a fitful sleep.  In restless dreams, he called for mercy, mercy.  Wakka, on last watch, heard the older guardian, but thought it must be a nightmare, an imagined fight, that someone was begging Auron for mercy.  The young blitz captain couldn't imagine that the legendary guardian had ever lost a fight in his life, let alone begged for mercy.

End Chapter five


	7. Help Me

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The song "Slow Hand" was written by Michael Clark and John Bettis, performed by The Pointer Sisters, and "Help Me" was written and performed by Joni Mitchell, and I don't own them, either.******

After a second day traversing the twisting paths of the Macalania Woods, the party had reached the shelter of another of Rin's ubiquitous Travel Agencies.  They all dreaded the next stage of their journey, which would probably result in another meeting with Seymour Guado.  Auron had his doubts about Yuna's ability to successfully negotiate with the wily young Maester, but as she had invoked her Summoner's privilege, the next move was up to her.  At least, the relative safety of the Agency would permit all of them to get a decent night's rest, although he suspected that Kimahri would spend the night patrolling the hall outside Yuna's room.  That was the Ronso's choice.  Auron was planning to spend another night with his memories for company.

…Zanarkand…five years ago…Friday/Saturday

By the time they went onstage at 10:30, she was so keyed up she was ready to climb the walls of the Green Room.  On the one hand, she had argued with Daf until she had some very specific songs in the playlist that night.  She wanted to send Auron a message, if he was willing to understand it.  And she wanted to sing "Seven Wonders" for him again, maybe for the last time, if he didn't get it.  But then she was too damned nervous to even check to see if he was in the audience!

Then the manager asked them to sing the full six songs tonight, even though it was Friday and he had a lot of acts lined up.  He thought they were getting "hot", and he hoped they would hold the audience, since the group before them wasn't very good.  _Too much happening at once.  It's enough to give a girl the vapors_, she thought.

As she scanned the audience she saw that he was there now.  Second row table.  Getting to be a creature of habit.  Dafydd strummed the opening bars for the first number, and she began to sing.  She made eye contact with Auron, just for a second, and nodded to him, then she began to look over the crowd.  _This song wasn't for him_.

He watched her, heard her voice, but he wasn't taking in the words.  After the initial eye contact, her gaze was roaming the crowd, so it was clear that there was nothing aimed at him in this song.  He hoped he might have some semblance of self-control by the time there was.

His breath had quickened at the sight of her.  His groin tightened to the point where pleasure almost met pain.  But her face completely mesmerized him.  It was beautiful, strong, fiercely determined, utterly female, and filled with such joy as she sang.  Her body was a delight to his senses, as she prowled back and forth across the stage in time to the music.  His fingers twitched.  The urge to untie the bow at her back and fill his hands with her breasts was beyond any temptation he had ever known.

The second song was sad and sweet, about love, and loss, and not directed anywhere in particular.  The third song was different again.  The rhythm was like sex, nothing else.  It seemed to beat in his blood.  If he had calmed down at all, he was on fire again, maybe more.  And now, she was singing for him, at least for part of the song.  She didn't quite have the courage to speak, yet, but to sing:
    
    I want a man with a slow hand 
    
    I want a lover with an easy touch 
    
    I want somebody who will spend some time 
    
    Not come and go in a heated rush 
    
    I want somebody who will understand 
    
    When it comes to love I want a slow hand 

Then her eyes turned away.  The rest of the song said she'd found the man, and Mercy had no idea whether she had, or not.  He got the message.  _But was it necessary for the entire audience to receive it, as well?_  Auron was not certain which he desired more at that moment, to leave with her, immediately, and answer the question she had just implied in the song, or to simply sink through the floor, in complete embarrassment.

She wasn't done.  There was one more thing she needed to tell him, so as the applause died, Daf began strumming the opening bars for the next song, and she quickly followed with the verse, as her eyes met Auron's again:
    
    Help me
    
    I think I'm falling
    
    In love again
    
    When I get that crazy feeling, I know
    
    I'm in trouble again

As she sang she turned away from him, let the meaning start to sink in.  He sat, amazed, trying to absorb what he was hearing.  Her eyes returned to meet his, to sing:
    
    Help me
    
    I think I'm falling
    
    In love too fast
    
    It's got me hoping for the future
    
    And worrying about the past
    
    'cause I've seen some hot hot blazes
    
    Come down to smoke and ash
    
    This message was also clear.  She had one last point to make before the song ended:
    
    Help me
    
    I think I'm falling
    
    In love with you
    
    Are you going to let me go there by myself?
    
    That's such a lonely thing to do
    
    Both of us flirting around
    
    Flirting and flirting
    
    Hurting too
    
    We love our lovin'
    
    But not like we love our freedom

He took his glasses off, and put them on the table, to be sure she could see him clearly.  She bowed to the audience as they applauded.  When she stood, she looked at Auron.  He met her gaze, and nodded.  She still wondered if that meant he understood, he felt the same, or just that he liked the song.  She was just going to have to ask.  He sat in wonder.  _If he understood correctly, she felt as he did.  But would she believe?_

One more song, something Daf had wanted, then they closed with "Seven Wonders".  Auron was absurdly touched by the gesture.  As soon as they were done, she went to Auron's table, learned over the vacant chair, picked up the waiting water glass, drained half, and asked, "Go home?"  "Sure," he replied, low, almost hoarse.

Neither of them spoke much on the way.  Either they were silent, or they both tried to talk at once.  It was as though there were no safe topics.  Also, she was too wrapped up in her own fears to see that he was also troubled.

Inside her apartment she brought the lights on low, hung her jacket on the coat rack.  Auron put his glasses in a coat pocket, fumbling on the first attempt.  He started to take of his coat, but she stopped him.  "Wait, there's something I need to say."  She studied her toes for several seconds, then met his puzzled face.  "Auron, I…" the window this time,  "I'm not interested in a one-night stand, or a brief fling."  She took a deep breath, then plunged on.  "I'm falling in love with you.  If you're not planning to take this relationship seriously, leave now.  You'll hurt me less in the long run."

He needed a few seconds to translate the unfamiliar slang.  He decided that both terms meant "casual encounter".  Not what he wanted, either.  He had revealed too much for that.  _How to tell her?_  He decided to answer her question from the tower, instead of the immediate challenge.  _It would serve_.  

"The question you asked the other night, 'What do I need?' he responded quietly, asking rather than answering directly."

"Yes?" she replied, uncertain of the change in direction.

He cupped her face in his hands.  "I need you," he whispered, as he bent to kiss her.  He drew her close, into his arms.  After, they looked closely into each other's faces, then her eyes closed slowly, and she inclined her head.  _Yes_.  Tonight, there would be plenty of time.  He swept her up into his arms.

As he carried her into her bedroom, he only noticed that the room was bathed in the moonlight and starlight from the large windows that dominated two of the walls, the light spilling over the large, unmade bed.  He wasn't paying attention to anything else, except the sweetness of her mouth on his.  For this one night, nothing else would matter.

He set her down on the edge of the bed, and she patted the mattress beside her, in the universal gesture for 'sit here', so he did.  Further encouragement wasn't necessary for either of them, at this point.  The earlier restraints were gone.  _Kisses weren't enough, she wanted to reach him, needed to get him out of all that armor, now_.  She started fumbling with his belt as his mouth traced a line along her shoulder.  He felt what she was attempting, and made short work of his belt, then his coat and breastplate, while he was at it.  He was half on top of her now, her hands pulling at his remaining t-shirt, frantic to reach the bare flesh underneath.  _We've both waited too long for this_, she thought.  His mouth slanted over hers, the kiss hard, insistent.  The aching need they had for each other overwhelmed them.  His fingers found the bow at her back, and pulled, and her shirt nearly fell apart around her body.  He traced a line in fire to her breasts, with hands and tongue, then she got his shirt over his head.  The shock of so much skin contact, his bare chest against her breasts, removed any shred of control either of them had left.  The rest of their clothes, his boots, her shoes, seemed to vanish.  _Next time, maybe we'll manage to take a little more time to explore, but we need this now_, she thought, looking up at him rising naked above her.  As he plunged deep inside her, he thought to himself, _I need you now.  Tomorrow be damned_.

Her hips rose to meet his, as she reached for a peak only she could see, somewhere past the moonlight, in the starlight.  When she found it, she shattered in his arms, calling his name, and, he went there with his, losing himself deep inside her.

Later, she woke, half freezing and half smothered.  They were at the foot of the bed, there were no blankets within reach, so the part of her that Auron wasn't covering was cold, and she couldn't breathe, since the part of her he was covering was mainly the part that included her lungs.  Straightening themselves out took some time, as well as separating some of the bits of their clothing from the bedding, but eventually they managed to get settled right ways onto the bed, with their heads where the pillows were, and under the blankets.  She curled up against his side, her hand idly tracing patterns on the hard wall of his chest.  He caressed her arm, drew her close.  He wondered_, what will happen in the morning?  What if there was only this night?_  Her idle hand traced lower, beneath the blankets.  His eye darkened.  There was still plenty of night left.  _And maybe_, he promised himself, _some of the morning, before he had to tell her_.  This second time, they were able to explore each other before need consumed them.  And sleep took them after.

In the morning, they indulged themselves by sleeping in.  Then they indulged each other.  It was the most decadent morning Auron could ever remember in his entire life.  He hoped it wouldn't be the last such.  She was still snuggled dreamily in his arms when he finally managed to choke out the dreadful words, "I have something to tell you."

Mercy sat up instantly, pulling the sheet to her breasts.  "If you 're about to tell me you have a wife and kiddies in the suburbs, I'm going to kill you," she said with menace.

He was sitting too, now, facing her.  "No, no, no, nothing like that, I swear it."

"You're not married?"

"No, never.  Well, almost, but I turned her father down five years ago."

"Close doesn't count.  As long as you're not married, or engaged, or have a girlfriend back home, or stashed someplace, now."

"No, no one but you."

She was slightly more relaxed now, but still wary.  He watched her as the thoughts clicked into place in her mind.  At last she asked, "Does this mean you are planning to fill in the blanks, then?"

"Yes."

He persuaded her to lie back down, first.  He wanted to hold her while he talked.  He wasn't sure which of them he thought would need the comfort, _or maybe it would just make it more difficult for her to throw him out_, but eventually, he convinced her to lie under the blankets with him again.

The explanation took a long time.  He told her everything he knew about Spira, and Zanarkand, and Sin.  Why the places he visited didn't all exist in her Zanarkand.  How he traveled from Spira to Zanarkand.  The name of his other friend, Tidus' father, Jecht.  The nature of Sin.  The true meaning of his journey, the pilgrimages, the fayth, the summonings, the need to stop them.  His own useless death.  The spiral of death that was Spira.  The certainty that in five years, Jecht would come for the boy, and him, and destroy the city to do so.

She asked a few questions while he talked, but mostly, she just listened.  At the end she said, "It all fits.  I knew you were telling the truth, but couldn't reconcile it with what I knew.  This does.  It also explains some historic anomalies, such as why no large cites have developed other than Zanarkand.  That wasn't logical.  I suppose no one was supposed to notice."  She tried to sound casual, but wasn't quite able to pull it off.

"You believe me?" he asked incredulously.

"Yes."  But there was so much sadness in her voice.  He saw a tear slide down her cheek.  "I have to believe.  Your Sin killed my parents, didn't it?"  He wiped the tear away with his hand, and nodded.

"Auron, am I a dream?" her voice shaking a little.

"I don't know.  I think you are more than just a dream, now.  Jecht definitely was.  He not only came to Spira, he became Sin.  He plans on Tidus killing him, maybe to break the cycle, so Tidus must also be more than a dream.  Your life has already been touched by Sin, so you must be more, too.  But this Zanarkand is a dream, the dream of the survivors of the destruction of the Zanarkand in Spira.  They used their memories to recreate Zanarkand, nearly 1,000 years ago, and the energy of their summoning sustains it.  But it is real to those who live here.  And their souls are their own.  When Tidus' mother died, her soul went to the Farplane, I felt it go."

"The Farplane?"

"The Farplane is where the dead reside.  In Spira, Summoners send the souls of the newly departed to the Farplane.  Otherwise the dead usually become fiends."  

"Auron, you said usually.  You didn't become a fiend.  And you said Tidus' mother made it to this Farplane of yours, but there are no Summoners here."

"If a person is able to accept death while they are still alive, they can reach the Farplane even without a Summoner.  Tidus' mother just…didn't want to go on living, so, she did not.  She sought death, and she found it.  I found death, but I could not let go of living.  I still had…promises to keep.  I could not keep them if I went to the Farplane, or if I became a fiend, so…I did neither."

He knew that her frame of reference was different from his, but still, he still had to ask the question that plagued him most, the one that would be most important on Spira, "My lady, I am an unsent.  Does that not trouble you?"

"Auron, it makes me glad."

His expression was thunderstruck.  _Maybe she was the crazy one_.  

She laughed a little, that he didn't get the joke.  "You wouldn't be here if you weren't," she said simply.

Then she was very serious.  "It is much more troubling that 'all this'", she gestured around her, "the world as I know it, and possibly my life, will end in five years, when Sin comes for you and the boy.  She was silent for a moment, trying to shield her thoughts from her face.  _I think it may be too late already.  When you go, I think maybe my world goes with you_.  Aloud she said, "If we only have five years, we had better make the most of them."  She was smiling as she kissed him, and for a brief time they were able to keep the future and all it held at bay, but as they made love, he was able to taste the salt of her tears.

…Spira…

He woke alone, in the Travel Agency in Macalania, to discover that his own cheeks were wet with tears.  He wasn't sure if they were for the young Summoner he was guarding, or for himself.

End Chapter six


	8. Slow Hand

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The songs "Anticipation" and Coming "Around Again" were written and performed by Carly Simon, and I don't own them, either.******

He had already stood his watch for the night, now it was Kimahri's turn. Thankfully, the desert sands showed intruders long before they arrived.  He thought back to the scene under the Lake ice, where Rikku had chided him for his comments to Yuna. The Al Bhed had been right.  It had not been necessary to take his frustrations out on his summoner.  Was he any better because he was the only one listening to his regrets?  Only, they weren't regrets.  Merely memories…

…Zanarkand…Five years ago…Saturday

She had to say no when Auron asked her to dinner that night.  "How about tomorrow night?"

"Why not tonight?"

"I have to meet Dafydd to decide on a playlist.  It's tradition."  They were in the shower by this time.  She was trying to get cleaned up.  He was doing his best to be…distracting.  She barely made it out of the apartment in time to meet her brother, while Auron went back to his place to change into clean clothes.  He had invited her to come to his dojo Monday evening to work out.  He wanted to see what she could do with those swords of hers.  She had made him promise to give her a good workout to make up for the one she had skipped that afternoon.  As he looked around his somewhat austere apartment, he had a clear picture of exactly how the workout would end.  He grinned at himself in the mirror while he shaved.

As she went to meet Dafydd she had an idea.  _Could Auron take her with him, back to Spira, when the time came?_  She would have to ask.  Meanwhile, five years seemed a long way off.

They were planning to open with "Anticipation".  She almost changed her mind when she saw the crowd.  Not only was the place packed, but also Servo, the little weasel, was at a wall table, six rows back.  He was a scout/booking agent/manager for a noble house that owned several clubs around town that actually booked acts.  Goodness, they were being scouted!  _Maybe she shouldn't after all.  No.  If she couldn't hit the note tonight she never would_.

When she and Daf got their cue to come on, she walked by Auron's table, put her arm around his shoulders for a moment and kissed him lightly, for luck.  He hugged her briefly, one-armed, in response.  She climbed the stairs to the stage.  Dafydd began the opening bars for "Anticipation"; it was a good opening number.  The audience could think it was at least in part about the performance.  And, as she looked over at Auron, he could see that some of it was meant for him, alone.
    
    And tomorrow we might not be together
    
    I'm no prophet, I don't know nature's way
    
    So I'll try to see into your eyes right now
    
    And stay right here, 'cause these are the good old days.

And as she sang, her voice soared, and she pulled the high note out of the stars.  Auron found himself praying to whoever might be listening, "Please let her reach the Farplane.  Please."

The did two more, one soft, one where she could strut on stage, for fun, then "Coming Around Again", which fit her voice, and her mood:
    
    And I believe in love
    
    But what else can I do
    
    I'm so in love with you

The crowd kept applauding, louder and louder, after each number.  This had been the fourth.  They were supposed to do five, but the manager caught their eyes after this and held up six fingers.  She and Daf looked at each other and nodded.  They did six, closing with Seven Wonders.  _This is getting to be a tradition_, Dafydd thought to himself, _but it's worth it to see her glowing again_.  The crowd didn't want to let them go.  After the usual "Good night," the packed house got to its feet and started shouting, "Encore."  Mercy and her brother found themselves trapped in the glare of the houselights, not quite sure what to do, surprised, delighted, and not a little stunned.  They didn't have a seventh song specially programmed into the machine that provided their instrumentation, just leftovers from the last few nights.  They weren't sure what to do.

Auron just wanted to get her out of there.  Mercy was positively glowing, and he wanted her all to himself, preferably as soon as possible.  If he could just think of one of the songs from the night before, she could sing it and go.  He only remembered one song besides "Seven Wonders" from the night before, music as mass entertainment being virtually unknown on Spira.  He used his cupped hands to make his voice carry over the crown noise and called to her, "Do Slow Hand."  He realized his mistake as soon as the words were out of his mouth.  Her grin was the wickedest thing he'd ever seen that wasn't actually evil.  She turned to Dafydd and he nodded, the instrumentation was still in from the night before.

Where last night the song was a question, tonight it was an affirmation.  Anyone with eyes knew that the man who had requested the song was the one she was singing to.  Auron discovered he could still blush, after all.  On stage she was so hot, that he felt like he was the one on fire.  It was the performance of a lifetime, but it seemed like they were the only two there.  As the song ended, Auron walked up to the edge of the stage.  Mercy met him as she finished, and stepped off into his arms.  He carried her out, the crowd applauding wildly, as though it were part of the act.  Dafydd bowed again, and exited the stage.  The booking agent, Servo, followed quickly after.  He had a business proposition to discuss with Mercy and Dafydd.  

It didn't take long, at least for the preliminaries.  The lawyers would be looking things over Monday morning, but it looked like Mercy and Dafydd would finally be getting paid to perform, Wednesdays and Fridays.  Now that it was over, and the little weasel was gone, she was leaning against Auron, boneless in relief.  "Let's go home," she said to him.  Auron smiled down at her in reply.  Dafydd noticed that she was referring to her home as though it was home to both of them.  _Maybe it is_, he thought.  _If so, somebody sure works fast_.

On the way 'home' Auron had an idea.  "Come with me tomorrow."

"Where?"

"I usually spend Sunday afternoons with Tidus.  Come with me, meet the boy."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay."  _What have I gotten myself into now?_ she thought.

She noticed something different.  "Auron, what's in the pack?"

"Clean clothes", he replied, somewhat worried.  He knew it was presumptuous, but he wanted to stay as long as she would let him, and this would be simpler.

"Oh."  She paused.  "Good idea," she finally said with a grin.  He grinned back in answer.  And relief.

When they arrived at her place, it was surprisingly simple.  In one night, some things had shifted from unknown to known.  Her jacket and his coat went on the rack by the door.  They watched each other do the things they knew were still easier done for oneself, and some things were more fun to watch than to do.  It was his problem to get his boots off, and to get out of his armor, although he was starting to think it might be simpler to blend in for the rest of the time he was in Zanarkand, to dress like everyone else.  Besides, she might like it.  He loved watching her unlace those shoes she performed it.  The sight never ceased to fascinate, and arouse him.  They helped each other with whatever remained of their clothes.  For a little while, they could forget the world, and lose themselves in each other.  After, he held her close in the dark.  "Mercy, my lady, I love you.  I love you, too, Auron.

Sleeping, she dreamed she was caught in a terrible storm.  The storm seized her and tore her apart.  She didn't know whether she was drowning, being eaten, torn limb from limb by terrible winds, or worse.  She woke, screaming.  Auron was awake, instantly.  "Love, it was a nightmare, you're awake now, hush, hush."  He was rocking her, trying to get her to lie back down, so he could cover her with the blankets, warm her with his body, she was ice cold, shivering with shock, fear.  Her teeth were chattering.  Finally, she was warm enough again that she could talk without her teeth chattering, but she was weeping, tears falling like rain.

"You can't take me with you, can you?" she sobbed, her arms locked around his waist.

"How did you know?"  He held her close, as tightly as he could.

"That was the nightmare.  You tried.  Why didn't it work?"

His own cheeks were wet, tears spilling down his face.  He had to make several attempts before he could speak.  "Jecht wants the boy to come to Spira.  He believes Tidus can find a way to break the cycle.  He's certain his son hates him enough to kill him.  He'll bring the boy through unharmed.  He thinks he needs me to keep the boy alive long enough to do the job, so I'll make it through.  But Sin is a destroyer, and Jecht is Sin.  If I try to bring you to Spira, Sin will destroy you, in order to hurt me, and just because it can.  And you won't be able to reach the Farplane from that kind of death."

It had taken a long time for her to fall back to sleep that night, but eventually, she slipped into an uneasy, but dreamless, sleep.  He held her close through the night, awake until after the moon set.  He finally let himself doze a little, but he was afraid to fall too deeply asleep, in case she woke again.  In the sleepless hours, he found himself repeating, over and over, "Please let her reach the Farplane."

…Spira…

_She had been right_, he thought bitterly.  _Those had been 'the good old days'_.  

Kimahri glanced at the sleeping campsite, saw the dark warrior shake his head in anger, or regret.  _Auron troubled by more than loss of Yuna_, the Ronso thought.  _Kimahri wishes he could help, but he does not know what this trouble is.  Must find Yuna first.  Then maybe Kimahri can help brother warrior_.  He continued his watch for what remained of the night.

End Chapter Seven


	9. Do the Walls Come Down

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters. The chapter title is from the song by Carly Simon, "Do the Walls Come Down", the lyrics are, "Do the walls come down when you think of me, do your eyes grow dim, do the walls come down when you think of me, do you let me in?"******

The nights they crossed Bikanel Island, bits and pieces of his life in Zanarkand floated through Auron's mind.  

…

The day he had brought Mercy to meet Tidus.  She had been so nervous, wondering what to say to the boy, never realizing that the problem was getting the kid to shut up.  Although he certainly had when Auron had introduced them.  The boy's expression had been priceless, even if it had resembled a gaping fish.  

Tidus had emerged from his room and his jaw had dropped in shock.  _The old man, with a woman! What was going on?  Who would have thought…?  When had the world come to an end?  Hey, what is he doing without that collar?_  As he came even closer to the couple, he received a further surprise.  _Good grief, they're even holding hands.  The world is coming to an end._

"Boy, I'd like you to meet someone.  Mercy, this is Tidus.  Tidus, Mercy."  She held out her hand for the boy to shake.  He nervously wiped his palm on his pants and held it out to her.  She shook it once, gravely, and let it go.  They stared at each other for a minute.

_He's a cute kid_, she thought.  _He would break some hearts when he got a little older_.  She bet he would say he was 12 going on 13, if he was asked.  They looked almost eye-to-eye now, but that wouldn't last.  He was almost blond, blue-eyed, with a heart-shaped face.

Tidus thought she was really pretty, and he was amazed.  _What was she doing with Auron?  What could she possibly see in him?  And he seems different somehow.  For one thing, he was smiling, like, all the time_.

Auron remembered that the two had taken to each other, in a strange sort of way.  Mercy had simply treated the boy as a small, rather impertinent, adult, listening to what he said, taking all of his questions seriously, and answering them equally seriously, including repeating the answer, "That's none of your business," as many times as it took to get the message into the kid's thick head.  She was probably the first adult to really listen to him, and the boy had loved her for it, Auron knew.  

She had finally unlocked the key that got the kid to practice regularly.  It had nothing to do with the game, and everything to do with getting out of his aunt and uncle's house.  She had asked Tidus if he liked living with them.  He said it was, "Okay," and then volunteered that he wanted to move out as soon as he turned sixteen.  Mercy had explained that at sixteen he couldn't just move out on his own, he needed to prove to the courts that he was capable of running his own life, and if he intended to do it by playing Blitzball, he would have to actually be on a team, not just want to be.  Once she proved to Tidus that she had been through the whole court thing herself, he accepted that she knew what she was talking about.  The boy started practicing seriously the next week.

The kid had begged to see her sing, so, eventually; he had given in, just to shut him up.  Auron remembered it had been like watching himself in a mirror.  Mercy had gone onstage, and started to sing, and the boy had fallen in love with her, just as he had done.  The difference was that the kid had taken this impossible feeling and folded it up as tight as he could and hidden it away inside, and hoped that no one would ever notice it was there.  Mercy had always been aware of it, but she never talked about it, and it was the one thing that neither of them had ever teased the boy about.  

…

He decided that it might be better to blend in a little more for the rest of the time he spent in Zanarkand.  He had also suspected that Mercy might prefer it if he did.  She had promised to make the experience of buying clothing as painless as possible.  A half hour, no more.  She hadn't lied, either.  There had been a couple of minutes to spare.  The black trousers, long-sleeved black shirts, and black boots were somber enough to stand out among the much brighter attire of most of Zanarkand's citizens, but, like his glasses, he felt comfortable while he seemed to blend in enough that people could ignore him if they chose.  

They had carried all his purchases to Mercy's apartment.  He somehow never managed to transport them to his own.  After a few weeks, it hadn't mattered.

Watching Tidus do his gaping fish imitation again had been worth the price of the clothing.

…

He had asked her to come to his dojo, on a night when he didn't have any classes, to test her skills in the martial arts, especially with her swords.  Even in memory, he could still see her 'dance' with the swords, a deadly whirlwind.  He had been impressed with her expertise, especially after he ordered her to fight him unarmed, and gotten thrown a few times for his trouble.  He had been over-confident, and had misjudged the differences in their tactics.  Her style was based on speed and agility, strike and elude, his on strength, capture and strike.  He saw that if they fought together, against an opponent, they would make a powerful team, her quickness combined with his strength.

After combat, even pretend combat, they had both had only one idea.  He had grabbed her by the waist and thrown her over his shoulder, carried her up the stairs, to his apartment, both of them laughing.  He had tumbled her onto the bed, and half-fallen on top of her.  Something under the bed had groaned in protest, causing them both to laugh even harder.  He could still remember the sound of her laughter that night, the taste of it as they made love in the bed, which continued to creak ominously, making them both laugh even more.  

In his memories, he couldn't think of a day they hadn't laughed together, or a night they hadn't made love.  He knew there must have been, he just couldn't remember them.  

He also remembered they had replaced that bed three times in those five years.

…

The first Saturday afternoon she came to his dojo to work out in the afternoon, she was in the back, warming up, when he started teaching one of his least favorite classes, one of the large classes with children.  This one had three little girls in it, all six years old, being sent because it was convenient for their parents, because they either had seven or eight year old brothers in the same class.  This time, the three little girls spotted Mercy in her corner, warming up, and stopped paying attention to him.  They looked at each other, nodded, and turned to watch the 'lady', gradually drifting over to where they were observing her closely without actually getting in her way.  Auron saw they weren't truly disturbing Mercy, and decided to just let her deal with the situation.  He had enough problems at that moment, sixteen other students, to be precise.  By the end of the class, she was working with the little girls on the beginning of the basics.  At least, she didn't scare them.  Instead, they scared her.  They promised to bring some of their friends back with them the following week.  They did, too, he remembered.  She taught some of the beginners' classes with him after that.  And occasionally some of the other classes as well.  She hadn't had much more patience than he did, but she had been better at hiding the fact.  

He'd loved watching her.

…

Sometimes he had been able to see the sadness in her eyes.  She could see the cloud wrapped around the silver lining. The irony that in some ways, the triumph was caused by the tragedy looming ahead.  His presence in her life had brought the knowledge which caused her to take chances that changed things, especially her music.  It cast a shadow over that first 'paid' concert, but it had still been wonderful.  She had talked her brother into singing a solo, he remembered, and he had been surprised at how beautiful it had been.  They had woven a spell together, singing the music they loved best, about love, and the pain of the loss of it, about hope, and joy, about sex, in love and out, and always, about dreams, lost, and found.  It hadn't been perfect, since it was a live performance, but they were very, very good.  They had practiced more than 20 years for that night, and they had earned the applause when it was done.  Auron had just wished he could take away the sadness, the bitterness behind her joy.  He remembered calling to that voice he had heard, or maybe praying, "Please let her reach the Farplane, please."  But still, no one answered.

…

Mercy had told him that if the world was going to end in five years, then she wasn't going to bother doing anything that she didn't either love doing, or didn't make life easier.  And since she no longer had to worry about "rainy day" funds, or retirement funds, money wasn't a major issue, within reason.  She couldn't quit work, but she was no longer interested in a promotion, so no more late night meetings, or weekend projects.  It would take about a month to get out of the schedule, but no more Thursday nights, either.  She would do what was necessary to keep her position, but nothing more.  At the time, his thought had been that he only cared if it made her happy.  

…

One night, more than a month after they met, they happened to walk home past the coffeehouse where Auron first heard her sing.  There was music coming from the club, but it was not the same.  He looked around, and said, "My life is so different."  He caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.  "I feel different.  That night, I was cursing myself for a fool, just for being here, in Zanarkand."

She laughed a little, but she could tell, he didn't get the joke.  "Love, didn't you know? We're all fools.  It's part of the human condition."  _Damn,_ _he could be so exasperating_.  She sighed.  "You can be so arrogant, sometimes.  Maybe, if you'd figured that out a little sooner, we would have met earlier."  

Auron remembered the voice whispering in his ear that night, what had it said?  "I have been waiting a long time for you to say those words..."  

He was quiet the rest of the way home, thinking.  _What if Mercy was right?  What if his arrogance, his pride, had stood in the way all along?  Did he waste five years?  Then he truly was a fool_.  That night, lying awake, with Mercy sleeping close against his side, in the deepest recesses of his mind, he formed the words, as clearly as he could, "Please let her reach the Farplane, I beg you, please."  This time, there was an answer.  He fell into a deep and instant sleep, and found himself in a cavern, facing a masked swordsman with a dog.  _Yojimbo_, he thought_, no wonder the voice seemed familiar_.  

"Guardian, you have passed the trial.  The test of humility.  What boon would you beg of Yojimbo", asked the fayth.

"I beg you, let Mercy reach the Farplane"

"Your Lady will reach the Farplane, Guardian, if everyone plays their parts", and with that mysterious answer, the dream ended, and the fayth was gone.

…Spira

Tidus thought he caught Auron looking at him several times as they crossed the desert, almost as though the old man finally wanted to talk.  _Too late now_, the blitzer thought bitterly.  _I tried to get him to talk, at just about every inn and travel agency between Luca and Macalania, and he turned me down every time.  And if what's eating him is what I think it is, right now, I know just how he feels_. 

End Chapter eight


	10. These Dreams

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The title of this chapter is from a song originally performed by Heart.******

Auron had not known, but Mercy also had a dream that night.  A woman appeared before her, clothed in blue robes either trimmed or lined with fur.  The woman appeared to be in her mid-30s, but it was difficult to tell, as only her face was exposed.  "Who are you?" Mercy asked.

"I am called Shiva," the woman said.  "You were right.  If he had learned the lesson more easily, you would have met sooner."

"You are…one of the fayth?"

"Yes."

"I've seen you before, haven't I?  I remember now.  A flash of blue, out of the corner of my eye, the day I chose my apartment five years ago. 

"Yes."

"And again.  When I moved in.  There were places, spaces…you…encouraged is even too strong a word…suggested, perhaps? that it would be better for me to leave them empty, waiting."

"We hoped, but we were not certain."

"You have let me find things, in the Archives, haven't you?  Documents I've read once and never been able to find again.  The map I have on the wall in my apartment that has no legend, Auron said it was a map of Spira…"

"That is correct."

"I'm not sure I understand, but why are you here?  What happens now?"

"Whatever you wish."

"Whatever I wish?"  Mercy sounded doubtful.  "You are not manipulating events?

"Hardly.  We only…present choices, if it is possible, if the conditions have been met.  We cannot force the choice upon you."

"Then you…open doors," Mercy said, in sudden understanding.

"Yes," Shiva replied, "but only you can walk through them."

"So, what happens now is what we make happen?"

"Yes."

"Until Sin comes."

"Until then."

Mercy spoke quietly now, almost to herself.  "I've never had a relationship last two years, let alone five.  It's ironic, isn't it, that this time, five years isn't to going be enough.  But it wouldn't have mattered if we had met the day he arrived.  I don't believe either of us would have been ready for it then.  And I don't think ten years would have been enough, either.  This time, a life time wouldn't be enough."

Shiva gazed at her unblinkingly for several seconds, studying her.  "You see truly.  That is the first trial.  We will meet again."  Shiva snapped her fingers, and Mercy fell into a dreamless sleep for what remained of the night.

----------

The second time Mercy encountered Shiva occurred more than a month later.  Auron had known about the events, but not about the fayth.

Mercy's life was fuller than it had been, richer, happier certainly.  It wasn't simpler.  It definitely wasn't less busy.  If anything, it was even more hectic than before.  The difference was that each activity was measured on a different scale.  Anything that wasn't a joy for its own sake, or wouldn't matter during the next five years or after five years, just plain wasn't done. They both tried, as much as possible, not to look either forward, or back, just to enjoy each day.

She had been looking a little forward to not working Thursday nights.  She felt guilty this first time, coming in at one in the afternoon, knowing she was leaving at five, taking a half day's leave time, or, at least she did until she opened up her appointments calendar and discovered that Lord Halle, the Head of the Archives and Hall of Records, had inserted himself into her schedule for a 2 o'clock meeting with no advance notice.  If it was good news, their Lord- and Ladyships asked when you were available.  When it was bad news, they made you available.  Then, this was bad news.  _But what?_

She checked with the secretary, but Bette had no idea what it was about, so at 2 o'clock sharp she presented herself at his Lordship's office.  He made her wait fifteen minutes, which was also not a good sign.

She was finally permitted to enter the pretentious office.  It was intended to impress, all wood and glass, with beautiful views of the city, but she found herself wondering if anyone ever looked at the books inside the pretty cases.  The office was actually rather like its occupant.  Lord Halle was in his mid 50's, tall and distinguished looking at first glance, but after being with him for a few minutes, you realized that there wasn't much substance behind the polished veneer.  Since he wanted to be seen as the 'no-nonsense' type, he tried to get straight to the point of the meeting, or, straight for him, anyway.

"Mercianne, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"I see from your records that you have been with us for some time, now."

"Yes, milord."

"You've done some excellent work."

"Thank you, sir."

"I'm disappointed to see such a fine record besmirched by such sordid extra-curricular activities."

_Did anyone actually still use words like 'besmirched'?_  Aloud, "Pardon me, sir, but what are you talking about?"

"This sphere recording."  At which point, he pressed a few buttons, and a sphere player opened and began to play back a slightly grainy recording that Mercy instantly recognized.  _Oh bloody hell.  The encore, that night at the open mic when everything happened.  Auron had asked for 'Slow Hand', and she'd practically given it to him.  Onstage.  She really wanted a copy of the recording, since whoever made it had been sure to record Auron's expression while she was singing.  That was priceless.  The recording was illegal, totally bootleg, but that was hers and Daf's problem, and their lawyer's, not Lord Halle's, or the Archives'.  What was he going on about?_

Lord Halle turned to her.  "You must understand, this kind of performance is not in keeping with the image that the Archives wants to project to the public.  You cannot continue this sort of public display," he said distastefully, "if you wish to maintain your position here at the Archives."

Mercy was astonished.  "Let me be sure I understand you.  Are you telling me that you are requiring me to either give up my performing contracts or resign my position in the Archives?"

He was pleased that she saw things so clearly.  "Yes, I am."

"On what grounds, sir?  Please show me where it is stated in the personnel regulations that this is not permissible.  I have been very careful over the years to always keep the Personnel Department fully informed of all my performing and songwriting contracts to ensure that no such questions would ever arise."  Mercy was indignant.

"The performance on this recording is simply not in keeping with the dignity of this institution.  You must either cease such displays or resign, or I will have you fired!"  His voice was rising now, in fury.

Mercy's voice went cold with anger.  "I do not believe that you have the right to force any such action.  I will be seeking legal counsel in this matter."  She left his office before she exploded.  It seemed like the wisest course.  As soon as she reached her own office, she started to pick up her communications 'link, then realized that it would be a bad idea.  Internal communications could be monitored, and if he really wanted to fire her, he would be looking for a reason.  After 3, she went outside, and used her personal 'link to call her lawyer.  _The lawyer was the only one she could reach.  Daf taught classes until 4, and Auron hated to use any machines he didn't absolutely have to.  Up until today, personal 'links had been in the category of 'didn't absolutely have to'.  She was going to sit on him tonight until he agreed to get one.  She needed to talk to him, and couldn't reach him.  He would have to use her 'link tonight to call Tidus, too.  Sooner or later, someone was going to show the boy that sphere, just to see how he would react.  It would be easier for him if he knew in advance_.

After she talked with the lawyer, she decided that if it came to a fight, she was going to have to fight.  That night, she had to explain it to Auron.  "Why are you fighting this?  Does it matter?" he asked.

She spoke quickly, urgently, trying to sway him with her conviction, if logic wouldn't do the job.  "I don't need the money, if that's what you're asking.  Not for the next five years, anyway.  I imagine I could teach a few dozen more girls the martial arts, not to mention take all the little kids' classes off your hands.  But, from what the lawyer told me, I couldn't quit now, because no one knows how the rules will be changed if I do.  And anyway, I'm not a quitter.  And, if he really tries to fire me, the most likely legal grounds will be that I have a second job, any kind of second job.  There are a lot of people at the Archives with second jobs.  Most of them need those other jobs to pay the rent or put food on the table, for them they pay for the necessities, not luxuries.  And they can't afford to fight.  If I give in to him, they'll have a really rough road for a while, maybe a long while, and they don't know how long it will be.  I can afford this fight, and they can't, so, I'm fighting for them.  Now do you see?"

"Yes, I see."  He saw that this was part of why he loved her so much.  She would fight to protect others, even if she got hurt in the process.

While he was being agreeable, she decided to press on.  "Will you please get a damn 'link?"

"Why?" he asked in resignation.

"Because I almost went crazy this afternoon.  I needed you and I couldn't reach you."  Now, finally, she let go and started to cry.  After everything that had happened in this long, strange day, she let the reaction sweep over her.  He folded her into his arms and held her close.  "Okay, I'll get a 'link."  As he stroked her back, he wondered, _why she always had to go all the way to the wall before she admitted she couldn't do everything alone?  Not that I'm any different_, he thought ruefully.

As soon as she calmed down, she got Auron to call Tidus.  He told the boy to go into his room and close the door.  As soon as he was alone, Mercy got on the 'link, and explained that there was a bootleg recording of one of her concerts around and that she might be in trouble for it.  "But why are you in trouble?" the boy asked.

"I'm not completely sure.  I think my boss is a nutter, mostly.  Someone you know will eventually play it for you, I'm sure.  I don't have a copy, or I would just give you one.  The performance was, well," she blushed, "suggestive, I guess, but the trouble isn't about the recording, its about the fact that I might get fired, and it might be rather messy.  I just wanted you to know in advance, that's all.  To warn you, I guess."

"Why warn me?"

"I didn't want you to be blindsided.  That's what friends are for.  I'll explain the rest of it on the weekend, but I just didn't want you to be surprised.  Okay?"

_Friends, huh_? he thought.  What he said was, "Okay."

The crowd at both the clubs they played in that weekend had clearly heard or seen something.  If not the actual recording, at least the gossip.  In the entertainment business, there was almost no such thing as bad publicity, so they were happy to capitalize on whatever interest was generated.  Daf hadn't been worried about the sphere for himself, just for her.  He had been very much in the background fuzz on the recording.  He could only hope the whole mess didn't cause her too much trouble at her regular job.

Tidus had seen the recording by Sunday.  It did disturb him a little, but he tried not to show it.  He had been grateful for the warning.  The kid who showed him the recording was not a friend, and had been looking for him to react badly.  _Just because he had a crush on Mercy, didn't mean he wanted anyone to know about it, ever_.

A week passed in something like normalcy.  A few people at work avoided her at first, for fear that whatever trouble she was in might be contagious, but as the days passed, and nothing happened, people stopped worrying about it.  Mercy learned that there had been an endless parade of lawyers through Lord Halle's office, but that His Lordship had not seemed pleased with the advice they gave him.  

The following Saturday night's concert was attended by a surprising guest.  At the table next to the one that Auron habitually occupied a "Reserved" sign was placed on the table before the club opened.  Five minutes before Mercy's first set, a lady in her late 70's with a female attendant and two of what could only be called bodyguards were escorted to the "Reserved" table with a great deal of fuss on the part of the manager.  During the performance, Auron was somewhat disconcerted to find that he was as much under observation as Mercy and Dafydd, who were, after all, on stage expecting to be stared at.  He wasn't.  

They had also noticed the unusual group in the audience, but it didn't change anything.  They had already decided which numbers to sing, including "Slow Hand", figuring that as long as the bootleg recording was going around, people would want to see them perform the song in question.  It was a good night.  During the set break, while Mercy and Dafydd were in the back, Auron noticed that the lady at the next table had a "discussion" with her entourage.  There seemed to be a change in plans.  Clearly, she was supposed to leave at the end of the first set, but she had decided to stay for the second set as well.

On Monday morning, Mercy was astounded to discover that, instead of being fired herself, the Archives now had a new Head, Lord Halle's mother, of all people, Lady Belina.  Lady Belina had requested that Mercy make an appointment to see her at Mercy's earliest convenience.

It was convenient at 10 in the morning, an hour later.  When Mercy arrived at Lady Belina's office, she was shown in immediately.  Mercy was not totally surprised to discover that Lady Belina was her mystery audience from Saturday night, but she was still confused about the sudden change in the management of the Archives.  The Lady invited her to sit down.  "You look puzzled, my dear."

"Yes, milady.  Why were you were in the audience Saturday night?"

"I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.  But we'll get back to that in a moment.  First, I wish to apologize for my son's behavior.  Your service to the Archives has been exemplary, and you are correct, there are no grounds to request your resignation or for your dismissal, nor are they desired or requested.  And please do not stop performing, your voice is lovely."

"Milady, I accept your apology.  And, thank you.  I'm just, well, surprised."

"My son is a fool, and several lawyers told him so.  When he refused to listen, I asked him to step down as Head of the Archives.  I came to see your performance because I wanted to see, and hear, for myself.  I couldn't help but notice that you did the same song, but it wasn't the same, not at all.  Why was it so different?"

The question had really been a command, Mercy was well aware.  She studied the older woman.  Lady Belina was in her late 70's, she knew, but was still straight, and still showed traces of the beauty she had been in her youth.  She clearly still ruled her family, as well.  But Mercy thought she saw a twinkle in the older woman's eye.  She had a feeling that Lady Belina might have a pretty good idea of most of the answer already.  Maybe she'd had a few nights like that herself, long ago.  Mercy began by talking about the performance.  "All live performances are inherently unique, milady, but that particular night was very special."

"In what way?" the Lady probed.

"The man I perform with, Dafydd, is my adopted brother.  We've been performing together for over 20 years.  That night, we were being scouted by an agent to be asked to be a booked act, which did happen, but at that moment, it was all hope, anticipation, possibility, and, we were 'on', everything was working, the crowd had asked for an encore, didn't want to let us go…" Mercy was reliving that night, caught up in that moment again.

"and…" the Lady broke in.  She knew there was more, and she was waiting to see if Mercy would admit it.

Mercy closed her eyes a second, remembering that feeling of incandescence, seeing how it appeared on the recording, and continued, "and the man who asked for the song, Auron, the night before that recording was made, was the first night we'd been lovers, so that night was special for us, too, a night of hope, beginnings, possibility, so many things, all captured in that one song, one performance.  I may sing that song a thousand more times, but no night will ever be like that one."

Lady Belina said, "Thank you, Mercy, for sharing that with me.  For a moment, you reminded me of my own youth."  She waited several minutes before she continued.  Letting them both return to the present.  "Before you go, I would ask you, what might I do to make up to you, let us say, for any anxiety that my son may have caused you?"

Mercy had to think about it for a long time.  She looked out the windows of the office, and thought of all the times she had wondered what it would be like to be promoted to one of the Executive Administrator positions, but realized the irony of the situation.  She could have one of those positions for the asking, right now, but she no longer wanted one.  Or anything else that Lady Belina had within her considerable power to grant.  _The only thing they wanted was more time, and Lady Belina didn't have that kind of power_.  "I thank you for your generous offer, milady, but your apology was all that was necessary."

"If you are certain…"

"I am, milady.  Thank you."  Mercy left Lady Belina's office easier in her mind than she had been for over a week.  She did not regret not taking the Lady up on her offer.  The temptation had not been very great.  Anything within Lady Belina's power; promotion, a recording contract, more concerts, more students for Auron's dojo, would have taken time, and that was in too short a supply.  Right now they had a kind of balance, enough time apart not to get on each other's nerves, but a lot of time together as well.  What they had was so precious, especially since they had both given up hope of ever finding each other, but had refused to settle for second best.  They were both old enough to know the value of what they had found, and young enough to enjoy it.

On her way back to her office, suddenly, everything and everyone in the world stopped except for herself, and the woman in the blue robes appeared before her again.  

"Willingness to fight on behalf of others.  Refusal of desired rewards freely offered.  You have passed the second trial."  Shiva voice rang in the suddenly chill air.  Mercy shivered.

"You have done well, child.  Better than we hoped."  The fayth paused.  "We will meet again."  Shiva snapped her fingers, and the world around Mercy returned to normal.

End Chapter Nine


	11. All I Want Is You

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The song "Fire Down Below" was written and performed  at different times by Bob Seger and Bette Midler (and it does sound different each time), and "All I Want Is You" was written by Carly Simon, Jacob Brackman and Andy Goldmark, performed by Carly Simon, and I don't own them, either******

After the Via Purifico, Yuna said she wanted to be alone, so she went to the spring while the rest of the party made a camp.  Kimahri followed her at a discreet distance, to give her the privacy she requested, while still keeping her safe.  They had all suffered in some way from the ordeal at Bevelle.  Wakka's faith in the temples had been shaken, and even Lulu's.  But Yuna was the one who had been most betrayed by her faith, her belief in the temples, and the teachings.  Auron was just, tired.  But not a single one of them, not even Lulu with her need to keep up the proprieties, really believed that Yuna should be alone with her dark thoughts.  Every member of the party suggested to Tidus that he should join Yuna at the spring.  Except Kimahri.  He was silent, but he left his watch over his Summoner when the young man joined her at the waterside.  It was clear to everyone when they returned to the camp later, hand in hand, that their relationship had changed, but the only matter that was discussed was that they were continuing with the pilgrimage, and moving on in the morning.

After the disaster of Yuna's wedding, and the events that followed it, Auron spent too many hours that night remembering another wedding, in Zanarkand, three years before.

Zanarkand…three years ago

They had had an argument on the way home from the club where Mercy and Dafydd had performed that Saturday night.  He had been defending the warrior-monks' position of refusing to admit women, and she had been arguing for the Crusaders' admission of women to their ranks, of course.  It was one of their typical discussions about the way things were done on Spira, heated, and intense.  They had started, as they often did, with Mercy asking for details about everyday life in Spira, but it had ended with Auron questioning his basic assumptions about the way things were.  The more often she asked, "Why?" the more he found himself wondering about the answers.  Mercy had told him more than once that the neighbors wondered why they stayed together; they often looked like they were arguing.  This time, another couple had entered the lift as they were leaving it, while their discussion was at its most intense, and had clearly thought that they were both out of their minds.  The other couple's expressions had been so comical that they had stopped talking and started laughing as soon as they were alone.

She had woken up Sunday morning with the beginnings of a song in her head, and had practically locked herself in the spare room with the keyboard and started plunking out music before her tea was done.  He knew he wasn't going to get much of her attention until she was finished, whether he dragged her out of the apartment or not.  The only problem was that Tidus was supposed to come over in the afternoon.  _He could always take the boy to a game_, he thought, without much enthusiasm.  _At least the kid was practicing regularly now, and doing well at it, too._

By the time the boy arrived in mid-afternoon, Mercy had hit the "obsessed" stage, she wouldn't notice if the building fell on her, as long as she completed the song.  Auron opened the door, told her they were going out, got one of those distracted mumbles that meant she might remember later, and might not, and left with Tidus.  He was used to this now.  The first few times this she had behaved this way, he had gone out of his mind.  Now, he could sort of predict the cycle.  In fact, based on the ratio of music to silence by the time he and Tidus left, he thought that she'd probably be ready to push back from the keyboard by the time they returned for dinner. The song wouldn't be done, but she would have enough committed to memory storage that she would return to real life.  He wouldn't get to hear the song until it was truly finished, however long that might take.

On the way to the stadium, the boy spied a wedding taking place in the park and pointed it out to the older man.  "Why haven't you asked Mercy to marry you?" he asked slyly.  "Afraid she might turn you down?"

Auron replied in what he hoped was a quelling tone. "That's none of your business."

Tidus went on anyway.  "You might as well be married.  I mean, you live together and everything."

"I said, that's enough."

The boy couldn't resist one last sally, but it was under his breath.  "You might as well get married.  Neither of you will ever look for anyone else."  

Auron chose to ignore both the words and the slightly acid tone of the boy's voice, but he could not forget what he had heard.  The boy had certainly read him correctly.  He had not been looking for Mercy, the fayths knew that all too well, but he would be an even greater fool if he were to throw away the gift they had given him in allowing that door to open two years ago.  He would never look for another woman, whether or not Mercy reached the Farplane.  But he still prayed with all his heart that she would.

In the days that followed, Auron couldn't stop thinking about what the boy had said.  _Maybe he should ask her…what would it mean, here, in Zanarkand?_  Ironically, he found himself in her "territory", doing research.  It seemed that marriage ceremonies in Zanarkand, as in Spira, included the words "as long as we both shall live" or "until death do us part" or a variation thereof.  The only difference was that in Zanarkand the words were always meant literally, where in Spira, it was known that marriages could sometimes transcend death.  Auron knew that Braska's marriage had been one such, that his friend had become a Summoner in part to revenge himself for his wife's death, and to meet her in the Farplane that much sooner.  His own commitment to Mercy began because he had continued beyond his own death.  For his part, it would go with him to the Farplane, whether or not she was waiting for him there.  "Neither of you will ever look for anyone else," the boy had said.  And he was right, for once.  It was even possible that, if they married, it might make it easier for her to reach the Farplane.  Easier somehow for her to reach beyond her own doubt and disbelief.

But, like any man, he had his own, simpler doubts.  _What if he asked, and she turned him down?_  He continued his internal debate, while she polished the song.  In the end, he found his answer when she sang it for him.

The night Mercy decided to sing the new song the first time, she'd worn a mischievous smile during the first set that made her look rather like a cat in cream, so he expected something was up.  

She opened the second set with a song he had heard before, but the way she sang it made him wonder.  She introduced the song as "Fire Down Below", and he'd heard her sing it any number of times.  The hard, rock-and-roll beat pulsed in his blood, and when she strut across the stage, and then turned her back to the audience and looked over her shoulder and winked at him, he was aroused in an instant.  After two years, she could tease him from across a room with a single glance.  He thought she always would.  

She had chosen this song to begin because she was building a theme.  Teasing Auron was just an extra benefit.  The lyrics of the song were the same, whether it was sung by a man or a woman, but when a man sang it, it was about prostitution.  To her, when a woman sang it, as when she herself did, it was also about just plain sex.  Raw sex, no commitment.
    
    When the street light flicker bringing on the night
    
    Well they'll be slipping into darkness slipping out of sight
    
    All through the midnight
    
    Watch 'em come and watch 'em go
    
    With only one thing in common
    
    They got the fire down below

As the applause faded for the first song, she began the second, "Slow Hand."  She saw Auron flush under his tan as she began.  Neither of them would ever forget those first performances of this number.  _But the steam doesn't come out of his ears any more_, she thought with some disappointment.  This song was the next step in the arc she was trying to build.  Still sex, but the song was showing that it might be about something more.

At last, it was time for the new song:
    
    What do the neighbors say
    
    When they hear us scream at night
    
    Do they talk about a love
    
    All in tatters
    
    What do the neighbors know
    
    About the heart and soul
    
    The fire down below
    
    That really matters
    
    They can never guess
    
    In the silences
    
    That all I want is you
    
    And the sexy hurricane
    
    We got here
    
    All I want is you
    
    I don't want a man
    
    To say "good morning dear";
    
    Let 'em listen at the door
    
    Let 'em listen through the floor
    
    Let 'em go ahead and draw the wrong conclusion
    
    So chase me 'round the room
    
    Make me crazy like the moon
    
    They can never guess
    
    In the silences
    
    That all I want is you
    
    And the sexy hurricane that we share
    
    All I want is you…

At first, he was simply stunned.  And embarrassed.  The song captured too much of what their relationship was really like.  Except that some of it was louder than the song suggested, it was only their building had excellent soundproofing, for which he was exceedingly grateful.

In the repeat at the end of the song, he finally heard the message he should have heard all along.  "Neither of you will ever look for anyone else," the boy had said.  "All I want is you," she sang to him.  He didn't understand why, but he did believe.  

On the way home, he stopped at the base of one of the towers.  "Let's go up, I want to ask you something."  He couldn't wait any longer.  He thought he knew now what her answer would be, but he had to be sure.  There would be no need to hop the security chain this time, he just wanted a little privacy, so they rode the lift to the first balcony and exited to stand by the rail.  They faced each other, ignoring the view of the city.  He looked very serious.  "Mercy, will you marry me?" 

She peered up into his face, trying to read his expression.  She wasn't satisfied by what she found, so she placed her hands at his temples, tilted his dark glasses up to the top of his head, and asked, "Are you sure?"

He pulled her close, so that her hands settled on his shoulders, as his face lit in a gentle smile.  "I am certain, my lady."

Her answering smile was brighter than the starlight.  "Then yes, I will marry you."  Their lips met in a mind-drugging kiss.  "Let's go home, where we can celebrate," she breathed.  By the time they were inside the apartment, their anticipation had become a raw, aching need.  They left a trail of clothing from just inside the door to the living room couch, which was all the further they got for a while.  Eventually, they made it to bed.

The next morning was Sunday, so they were expecting to see Tidus later.  Meanwhile, they were discussing the mundane aspects of getting married, since Auron wasn't ever going to tell Mercy he'd done any research into the subject.

"There are no temples here at all, then, to perform marriages?"

"None.  There is no organized religion of any kind.  Some people believe in some kind of Supreme Being, or Beings, but there is no state-sanctioned religion, the way the Yevon temples are in Spira.  All weddings in Zanarkand are civil ceremonies, performed by a judge.  Will that seem well, valid, to you, Auron?"

"As valid, as you say, as a temple wedding, or maybe more so.  I know what Yevon is.  He is not…worthy of being worshipped.  In any case, the commitment is in our hearts, the…ceremony is a mere…formality, a celebration of that binding.  

"Auron, on Spira, is it traditional to exchange rings, or other marriage tokens?"

"Usually, but not always."

"Here, too.  It is traditional, but the tradition is not followed 100% of the time.  Also, sometimes the woman wears a ring but not the man."  She stopped for a moment to consider, then went on.  "I'll make a deal with you.  I'll wear a ring if you will."  A pause, then,  "Deal?"  She met his gaze steadily.  He never wore jewelry of any kind, none.  _He probably wouldn't want to do this, either_.

He looked back at her.  This would be a symbol that he could carry with him.  "Deal," he said simply.  "I will wear it…always."  He gave her his word.

Auron knew a weaponsmith who knew an expert jewelry-maker who agreed to see them about possibly making their rings.  Galdan only worked by appointment, and might not have time to actually do the work, but the friend-of-a-friend network was in good enough working order to get them in to see the "great man".  Something about the couple made Galdan decide to take the commission, or perhaps he was prompted by the young man almost visible in the shadowy corner of the room.  Ifrit was pleased enough by this development to grant the craftsman a momentary vision of Auron and Mercy as the fayth saw them, so Galdan designed a pair of rings to fit these images.  The rings complemented, rather than copied, each other.  Mercy's ring was more delicate, primarily consisting of a silver band, but the top of the ring was shaped into a flat oval.  Inside the oval a diamond shaped lozenge was outlined in black.  The lozenge was filled in with gold, polished flat, but with the veins still showing in the metal.  Auron's ring was heavier, of course, but was otherwise opposite, a heavy gold band, opening to a flat top like a signet ring, with the same diamond shaped lozenge outlined in black.  On his ring, the lozenge was filled with silver veined ore.  The symbology was elegant to the artisan's eye.  The essence of each in the other.  If they approved the designs, the rings could be completed in a month.  They approved, indeed, and set the date for their wedding accordingly.

They were married six weeks later, in a private ceremony, with just a few friends in attendance, particularly, Dafydd, his partner Marko, and Tidus, who told everyone that he was responsible for the whole thing.  When Mercy walked down the short aisle toward him, Auron again experienced the illusion that he often did as she walked towards him, that brief moment when he seemed to see her with both eyes, but he put it out of his mind when she came to take his hand.  As Mercy repeated the words of her vows she was awed by the commitment they were making, and a little afraid.  As she repeated, "Until death do us part," she was suddenly afraid how Auron might take it if she couldn't pull off the trick of reaching this Farplane of his.  _She loved him so much; she didn't want him to face eternity alone, if that was what it really meant.  Maybe she should have said no_.  He watched the growing panic on her face, and guessed what she was thinking.  He shook his head slightly.  _Didn't she know by now that it didn't matter?  There would never be anyone else for him_.  He repeated his own vows in a steady voice.  They exchanged rings, each placing a ring on the other's left hand.  Then the judge intoned the final words of the ceremony, "I now pronounce you husband and wife."  As he kissed his bride, he had the sudden thought that, on Spira, she would officially be "Lady Mercy" as of this moment.  If there was only a way to get her to Spira…

…Spira…

Yuna woke in the middle of the night, and looked around the camp at her guardians, her friends.  She couldn't go back to sleep, she was too worried about the trouble she had caused them, so she sat up to think, instead.  Her gaze rested on each bedroll, as it represented one of her companions in this peril.  Lulu and Rikku were sleeping closest to her, now that Lulu had returned to minding the proprieties.  In a way, if Lulu was her big sister, Rikku was becoming her little sister.  Wakka and Tidus were next.  Wakka, her big brother, might be even more disturbed than she was at the knowledge they had gained about the true face of Yevon.  Then Tidus, her love, and now, her lover.  She hugged the flicker of happiness close to her in the dark.  Last, guarding them all, Kimahri's empty bedroll, as he was on watch, and Sir Auron, who was apparently having a nightmare, or something close to it.  Yuna could see that he was agitated, his head turning back and forth, and he was saying the same word, over and over, "Mercy, mercy, mercy."  Then his right hand pawed the ground, _like he was searching for something, or maybe someone?_ Yuna thought to herself, as he tried to pull whatever he was reaching for towards him, then, when his arm was against his side, he stilled.

Auron woke.  After five years of sleeping with Mercy curled against his right side, he still looked for her in the night, like someone who has had an arm or leg amputated still felt pain in the lost limb.  It seemed that nearly three months alone hadn't yet burned into his brain that she was gone.

End Chapter Ten


	12. You Have to Hurt

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The song "Hurts So Good" was written by John Mellencamp and George Green, and performed by John Mellencamp, and "Go Insane" was written by Lindsey Buckingham, performed by Fleetwood Mac, and I don't own them, either.  The title of this chapter is from a song in chapter 4.******

The party reached the Calm Lands Travel Agency the following afternoon, only to be met by Father Zuke, with his news that they had been officially declared traitors to Yevon.  Yuna tried not to show how much his words weighed on her, but it was difficult.  She discovered that it was one thing to believe something terrible, and quite another to hear it confirmed.

Auron was cautiously optimistic about the information regarding Kelk Ronso.  But he was not surprised.  He had not thought that murdering one's father would be consistent with the Ronso Elder's concept of honor.  He reflected that Yuna's straight spirit might yet win them a pass over Gagazet, in spite of Mika's pronouncement, since the Ronso had left the other Maesters.  What would happen on the other side of the mountain was still a problem to be solved, but at least now he thought they had a chance of getting there to solve it.

But Yuna was clearly troubled by Zuke's words, and they were all still weary after Bevelle.  They also needed to take this opportunity to replenish their supplies, as the Palace guards had rifled their belongings, and Yuna's small pack had been taken from her when she had been captured and never returned.  This might be their last chance to restock in any case.  The party would be lucky if the Ronso gave them safe passage over Gagazet, under the circumstances.  Hospitality was probably too much to hope for.  Auron conferred with Kimahri.  They agreed that the best plan was to stay the night at the Agency, using the time to open all their bags, replenish and repack, spend the night where they could count on the Agency guards instead of their own, and get some much-needed rest.  

The campsite was first, set up in one of the 'loops' of the Agency grounds, allowing for an arrangement that placed Yuna closest to the center of the Agency, with Auron and Kimahri on the outside edge of the group.  Auron and Kimahri were not truly planning to rely wholly upon Agency guards, after all.  After a thorough inventory of the contents of their packs and bags, Rikku and Lulu were elected to negotiate for what the party needed.  Rikku did the negotiating in the Al Bhed tongue, while Lulu and her Cait Sith glared from behind.  A fair division of labor that seemed to result in a large number of items at reasonable prices, and a dinner that no one in the party had to cook, a treat for everyone.

After the fruits of their labor were eaten or distributed, it was time to settle down for the night.  Auron lay on his back, with his hands behind his head, looking up at the stars.  He and Kimahri had agreed earlier, they would pretend to sleep, and split the watch, Auron first, Kimahri second.  He checked that his katana was by his left hand, and then stopped.  It wasn't just the katana.  Everything he had removed for the night was at his left.  Still.  

Zanarkand…fourteen months ago until two months ago

Jecht had sent him a dream.  In the dream, even though his friend's back was turned to him, he still knew it was Jecht.  That hair, and the way he cracked his neck.  The dream was in Zanarkand, but a ruined Zanarkand, _the city as Sin fashioned it_, Auron had thought.  Jecht spoke to him, in the dream.  "How's my boy doin'?  I'm coming in one year, Auron.  You got any unfinished business, you better start finishin' it."  Auron woke, but tried to keep still, not to wake Mercy sleeping beside him.  _There was still time_, he thought.  He rolled onto his side, pulling her sleeping form against his chest.  He kissed her awake.  They made love in the middle of the night, desperate to keep the future at bay for a little while longer.  Five years had never been enough.

Six months later, he had a similar dream.  Jecht again, but this time he let Auron respond to his questions.

"So, how's my boy doin' now?" Jecht asked.

"He made your old team six months ago.  They say he's a rising star, the 'new hope of Blitzball' according to one of the announcers."

"Good, good.  I wanted him to get the 'view from the top'.  I wish it could be for longer.  He's got six more months to enjoy it."  Suddenly, there was an edge to Jecht's voice, "And you've got six more months to enjoy, well, whatever it is you're doin', too."  Jecht was laughing, laughing at him, and his laughter echoed in Auron's mind as he sat up in bed with a start.  Mercy was awake, too, since Auron had taken all the covers when he woke.  "What is it, love?" she asked, groggily, as she started to pull the blankets back.

Auron's voice was a flat monotone when he responded, torn between rage and fear, and unwilling to show either.  "We have six months left."

"I know, I've been keeping track, she admitted sleepily, "but that's not what's bothering you right now."

"I had a dream, just now.  I saw Jecht.  He knows about you.  Sin knows about you.  About us."

She sat up, wrapped her arms around his waist, tucked her head into the hollow of his shoulder.  "What do you think it means?"

He rested his cheek against her hair.  Close like this, he couldn't hide his emotions, so he stopped trying.  He held her, the tightness of his hold conveying his fear for her.  "You will be a target when Sin comes.  He doesn't know you personally, so I doubt he will be able to find you in a crowd, but he knows where I was tonight, so this building will be destroyed.  If we are together when Sin takes me, he will know for certain who you are; you will die an unclean death, and not reach the Farplane."  He paused.  "Damn Jecht," he said with vehemence, after a minute.

"What was that last bit about?" Mercy was a little confused.

"When he told me he knew about us, he was laughing at me.  I'm not sure if it was Sin, or if it was the old Jecht.  It could have been either one.  Damn Jecht," he muttered.

_This was just a male ego problem now_, Mercy thought, wondering how often Braska must have wanted to knock those two heads together on that pilgrimage.  _Not that it would have done any good_.  She would have bet a lot of gil that Jecht's head was just as hard as Auron's could be.

They only had six months left.  It was stupid to waste a second of that time over this sort of nonsense.  She could think of one way to bring him back to the present and soothe his wounded pride at the same time.  She unclasped her hands from around his waist, letting her arm around his back fall until her hand rested on his hip.  Her right hand trailed across his chest, at first tracing idle patterns, eventually following the line of hair down the center.  By the time she reached the hard, flat planes of his abs, she had his complete attention.  They didn't waste much of the rest of the night sleeping, either.

Three months later, another dream.  They had made plans for this, now they set them in motion.  Mercy quit her 'day job', as she had always called it.  Auron closed the dojo, but kept the space rented.  They had enough money to take care of every material thing they needed, or even wanted, and time was more precious than money, so, why continue to bother?  Auron felt the need to train for the pilgrimage, as much as was possible in Zanarkand.  The dojo had kept him in shape, but teaching had not required the same mental preparation and physical discipline as having your life and the lives of your summoner and your fellow guardians depend upon your skills.  Auron was not sure he was as prepared as he should be for this journey.  Mercy didn't have a problem with this, not at all.  There was no reason for him to train alone that she could see, after all, there would be other guardians on the pilgrimage, wouldn't there?  She needed to come back to town on weekends, so she could practice and perform with Dafydd, and they needed to spend some time with Tidus, but she could train with him.  She was quite capable of defending herself with her swords, as he was well aware.  

It worked.  It worked entirely too well.  For three months, they spent half the week hiking in the hills outside the city, hunting down whatever they could find…beasts, monsters, the occasional fiend.  They camped wherever they found a good place, setting up two bedrolls next to a stream, or even a lake if they were very lucky.  As they walked through the woods, he looked at the woman by his side.  She had fallen in on his right, covering his blind side.  This was how they fought, and slept.  When they began this routine, he had simply taken his Spiran clothes out of the closet, what Mercy called his "traveling" clothes, and put them back on.  He knew she hated them, as a reminder that he would be leaving soon, but it was necessary.  She had adapted something of her own, black leggings, the black tunic of a gi, belted with a wide crimson cloth that wrapped around her midriff, her swords stuck through the makeshift belt for a cross draw.  He had at first thought her thigh-high black boots an affectation, until he noticed that she had a throwing knife within easy reach in the top of each boot.

They fought well together.  As the days passed, he found it more and more difficult to imagine leaving her behind, but he knew that he would have to.  It was ironic, that, as their time together drew to a close, they became, if possible, closer than they had ever been, spending every waking moment together.  He had lived in her world for the past ten years, five of them with her, and those five had been the happiest years of his life.  Now, she was showing him that she could live in his world, she could make the transition, if only there were a way to get her there, but there wasn't one that he could see.  They both knew that she had dreamed true, five years ago.  If he tried to take her to Spira, when he and Tidus went, Jecht would tear her to pieces, make an example of her just to hurt them both.  She had to remain behind, either to run to the hills to escape the devastation, or to remain in the city, accept the destruction, and try to reach the Farplane.

She had insisted that they come back to the city on weekends, so that she could practice with Dafydd, and perform, and so that they could see Tidus.  She had told Dafydd the truth about Auron long ago, so that he and his lover could make their own decisions about the future.  When the time came, Dafydd and Marko, his partner, were planning to go up into the hills a couple of days before Sin came, to get out of the way of its attack.  They knew that if Auron and Tidus did find a permanent solution to Sin, the dream Zanarkand would eventually fade, but it was the best they could do.  In the meantime, she wanted to continue to sing, and, since she had lost the arguments, plural, and Tidus was not to know anything about Spira, they needed to see him regularly.  They both just told him they were taking a long vacation from their jobs, and he was so caught up in his Blitz world that he didn't pay much attention to what the adults were doing, as long as it didn't embarrass him somehow.

The dreams came more frequently as the time grew shorter.  Two months, six weeks, one month, three weeks.  When they had only two weeks left, Jecht came to Auron in yet another dream.  It was a Saturday night; they were in the city for the weekend.

"I've decided.  I want it to be at the Stadium.  Has the kid got a game two weeks from tonight?"

"I don't know."

"You're supposed to know.  You're supposed to be keeping an eye on the kid.  Or are you too busy?"  Jecht was angry; Auron could hear it in his voice.

"He's 17 now.  He doesn't need a nursemaid, or a babysitter, anymore."  Auron kept his tone flat, unemotional.

"Lucky for you, I still think he does.  Meantime, you better memorize that schedule."  Jecht was laughing now, a harsh, bullying kind of laugh.

Auron woke, cursing.  Then he got out of bed to look up the Blitz schedule.  He was still hopeless with machina, and Mercy ended up finding the answer, the Jecht Memorial Cup, in 16, no, now 15, days.  Monday evening, two weeks from tomorrow night.  Their five years had come down to two weeks.  The screen had gone black, and their eyes met in the reflection.  Although she tried to stop them, tears spilled down her face.  He bent, and lifted her easily in his arms, hers around his neck as he carried her back to their bed.  For the rest of the night, they were able to help each other to forget what the screen had showed them, how little time they had left together.  A week later, in another dream of the nightmare Zanarkand, Jecht asked Auron for the schedule.  The idea of using the night of his own memorial cup appealed to his ego.  The date was set.

They stayed in town that week.  They stayed together.  He had kept the dojo, so they used it for training.  They wandered the city, storing up memories.  They made love.  She tried to convince him, one last time, that he would be free, in Spira, to find comfort, if he could, with someone else.  He responded, as he always had, that he would do no such thing.  And that before she went any further, that no, not even on the Farplane, not even if she did not reach it, and would she please stop!  She kissed him instead.  They had better things to do with the time remaining to them.

Mercy checked the Blitz schedule, and called Tidus on the 'link.  She asked him to come to the club Saturday night, since he didn't have a game that night.  At first he seemed reluctant, but it was all just an act he put on for her benefit.  She so seldom asked him for stuff, he wouldn't turn her down.  He always remembered that before she became part of his and Auron's life, whenever he needed a parent for school stuff, after his mom died, unless it was absolutely required, he mostly did without; he just didn't feel like asking his aunt and uncle.  Things changed after Mercy was around.  He tried not to think much about his feelings about her, but she was always there for him, and Auron was too.  He had been before, but it was different after Mercy came.  Before, Auron had been around if he something was wrong, and he'd always been available to give him a good swift kick if the old man thought he needed one, but he hadn't exactly been overly generous with congratulations or pats on the back if things were good.  Mercy was there for him for the good things, the celebrations as well as the failures, and she made damn sure Auron was around for them too.  If she wanted him to come to the show Saturday night, he'd come all right.  His 'reluctance' was only for show.  _He didn't want it to make it seem too easy._  _After all, he had an image to maintain, now._

It was the last concert, although Tidus didn't know.  When he slipped in, just before the first set, he saw Auron and Marko at a second row table, with a chair waiting for him.  Neither man spoke to him, as the manager came on stage immediately after he arrived to introduce Mercy and Dafydd.

Since they knew this was the last hurrah, they had decided to perform all of their own favorites.  Mercy just had two songs in the second set that she had prepared for this night.  The rest would be the old standbys.  They opened, as the often did, with "Anticipation", and went through a lot of their usual numbers for the first hour.  At the set break, they came down to the table, instead of retreating to the Green Room.  There was a lot of emotion amongst all the adults, but Tidus didn't really catch it.  Watching Mercy with Auron, he had the craziest idea, _when I finally meet someone, I want what they have_.

Mercy was trying to keep it together until the show was over.  _No, until after Tidus left_, she thought to herself.  _I can't let go until then_.  The second set opened with "Fire Down Below", "Slow Hand", and "All I Want is You".  They sang their hearts out, each song a gift to the audience.  It was near the end, now.  Dafydd struck up the chords to an old rock and roll song, "Hurts So Good".  It was about someone older in love with someone younger than they were.  As Tidus heard Mercy sing, he thought she was singing about herself and Auron, as she often did, since she was ten years older, but people either never noticed, or forgot, but as she sang, 
    
    You don´t have to be so excitin´
    
    just tryin´ to give myself a little bit of fun, yeah
    
    You always look so invitin´
    
    you ain´t as green as you are young…

she looked straight at him, Tidus, and winked, and he had the sudden, sinking realization that she had known all along that he had a crush on her, and that this was her way of telling him that she knew.  He blushed scarlet to the roots of his hair.  He wondered if that meant that Auron knew, too, but he was way too embarrassed to look at the man.  He just wanted sink through the floor.  He didn't even hear the end of the song.

She thought that it would have been better if he'd had a chance to grow out of it naturally, but, in two days, he was going to get yanked out of this world and into another.  Maybe it would help him to get over it if he knew that she knew.  She hoped so.  She'd tried.  Maybe he'd remember the next message, eventually.

The machina began the next song, in a minor key.  It was a strange, sad song, she'd written specially for this one night.  The first verse was for Tidus, telling him to let go, hoping that he would find someone some day:
    
    Two kinds of people in this world
    
    Winners... losers
    
    I lost my power in this world
    
    Cause I did not use it
    
    So I go insane
    
    Like I always do
    
    And I call your name
    
    She's a lot like you

Tidus heard the words, but they didn't really register.  He wouldn't remember them until much, much later.

The second verse was for Auron:
    
    Two kinds of trouble in this world
    
    Living... dying
    
    I lost my power in this world
    
    And the rumors are flying
    
    So I go insane
    
    Like I always do
    
    And I call your name
    
    She's a lot like you

One last time, she offered him his freedom.  She watched him as she sang, and he understood her message.  He shook his head, and mouthed the word, "No," over and over again.  She bowed her head in acknowledgement of his answer.  She would not ask again.

They closed, as always, with "Seven Wonders", but when the performance was over, only Dafydd, Auron and Marko caught that she said "Goodbye" to the audience, instead of her usual "Goodnight".  They were done.

They all went to the Green Room, but Tidus wanted to get away as fast as possible.  He was embarrassed down to his toes, and he just wanted to leave.  As soon as the five of them were all alone, he said to Mercy, "Look, I have an early practice in the morning, I have to get some sleep.  Okay?"

"Sure.  Goodnight, Tidus," Mercy said

"'Night, Everyone," Tidus replied in relief.

She let him get almost to the door.  "Wait."  Tidus stopped, waited for Mercy to reach him.  She looked up into his eyes.  She had been just slightly taller than he five years ago, now he was quite a bit taller.  _She couldn't stand it.  She had to do something_.  She hugged him, tight as she could.  He was stunned into immobility for several seconds, then he hugged her back, just as fiercely.  Her face was buried in his shoulder.  He heard her muffled voice whisper, "Love you."  And all he could do was whisper, "Love you too," as his face turned bright red again.  She let him go, and he fled in complete confusion.  Mercy slowly dropped to the floor, like a puppet whose strings had been cut, her face in her hands, weeping.  He would never know.  However confused Tidus' feelings for her might be, hers were clear.  She had never wanted children of her own, but somehow, in these past five years, he had become the child of her heart.  And she never expected to see him again.  She could only hope that someday, somewhere, he would understand.

She finally looked up from the floor, to find Auron and Dafydd each offering a hand to help her up.  She let them help her rise, these two men that she loved.  There were still more goodbyes to be said this night, and quickly.  Daf and Marko needed to get on the road.

Auron remembered Braska's words from the beginning of their pilgrimage, "Too many goodbyes, people think twice about leaving," and wondered how long this was going to take.  Mercy looked to be near the breaking point, but he knew she was always stronger than she appeared.

It wouldn't take long.  _Everything that needed to be said, had already been said_, she thought.  Dafydd asked her, for the last time, "Are you sure you won't come with us?"

Tears were streaming down her face, and her brother's, but she shook her head.  She had made her choice, long ago.  She wouldn't change her mind now.  Daf and Marko needed these last 48 hours to get as far up into the hills as they could, and she wouldn't let go of Auron one second before she had to.  She would stay in the city with him.  She accepted that it meant her death.  She only hoped that it would be enough to work this 'trick', to reach this Farplane that Auron believed in.

She hugged Marko in farewell, as Dafydd and Auron shook hands.  They said almost the exact same things to each other, as she asked Marko to "Take care of my brother," and Dafydd ordered Auron to "Take care of her."  The answers were different.  Marko promised Mercy, "I will," but Auron could only respond, "As long as I can," with great sadness.  It was time for Mercy, and Dafydd, to condense most of a lifetime of shared joy, dreams, heartache and intense love into one last embrace.  One last, "I love you."  And let go.

She never remembered how Auron got her home.  He just did it.  Sitting on the couch, in their living room, drinking hot, sweet tea to recover from what felt like shock, even though she had known for five years that this would happen, was when she thought she came to terms with the idea that in two nights, Auron would leave, and return to Spira, and she would die.  Next to the door, she saw his pack and his sword, bracer, glove, and glasses on the table.  He would pick them up, put them on, as he left.  But that would be later, not quite yet.

Most of those last two days and nights were not distinct in his memories.  They didn't need to be.  They spent most of the time in bed.  They had an overwhelming need for each other, to store up images, sights, sounds, feelings, impressions, to imprint one upon the other.  She wanted to be sure that she would live in his mind, his heart, while he was in Spira.  He felt the same, he wanted her to have memories of him to carry with her to the Farplane, he truly believed she would reach it.  She tried to sleep as little as possible, to spend as much time with him as she could, just in case the 'trick' didn't work, but sometimes, she had to.  He would lie beside her, watching her sleep, wishing there was some way he could take her with him.  

Monday afternoon, she'd been sleeping for about an hour.  The clock showed there wasn't much time left.  He was tempted to let her sleep, but she'd argue with him through eternity if he did.  His hand cupped her breast as he kissed her into wakefulness.  Her arms were around him, her body arched against his before she was completely conscious.  They made love with a kind of tender desperation, knowing that it was the last time.  Her climax pulled him with her, into a place of matchless beauty, and wonder, that he never expected to experience again.  They drifted back to reality slowly, but then it was time for him to take a shower, and leave.

She simply decided to pretend it was just another hiking trip, at least for a little while longer, so they showered together, and, as he dressed in his "traveling" clothes, she put on her blacks, including her swords.  If she had to die, she wasn't going to do it naked.  She was too proud for that.  They could both see through the bedroom windows that it was growing dark outside.  He had to leave, soon.  They held each other, but his armor already separated them.  She looked up, her arms around his neck, as his hands spanned her waist.  "My lady, I love you."  He tried to smile, but his voice cracked.

"I love you, too, Auron."  

"But…Mercy…I have to go."  His words fell like lead.

"I know, love, I know."

"It is time.  Or I do not know if I will be able to manage.  I am…sorry, my lady."

"I understand."  She almost couldn't speak past the lump in her throat.  She didn't want his last memory of her to be of her tears, but she didn't think she could hold on much longer, either.  She whispered, "Go."

"Farewell," he replied, hoarsely, then he practically stumbled from the room to the front door.  He faced away from her as he clipped the bracer on his left arm, pulled the glove on his right hand, hefted his sword to his shoulder, and looped the pack through his arm.  She watched from where he had left her, standing by their bed.  With his dark glasses in his hand, he cast her one, last agonized glance, then he turned, and was gone.

She flew to the window, and stared down into the street below.  From 20 stories up, she wasn't sure if she saw him stride through the crowd a few minutes later or not.  She wanted to think that she did.  Then she stared out into the night, and she saw the tsunami racing toward the city.  It seemed to be closing in on her building, even as she watched, firing projectiles as it advanced.  She knew it would kill her, she accepted that.  _But was it enough_? she wondered.  Aloud, she cried, "I wish there was another way."  Behind her, in the darkened room, she heard the sound of fingers snapping.

On the streets of Zanarkand, Auron headed for the Stadium.  As he walked, he looked down, trying to see where he was putting his feet.  His eye caught the flash of his wedding ring.  He stopped in his tracks as the emotional overload hit him.  Someone walking behind him bumped into him, apologized, went around as he remained rooted in place.  He spotted a bench, and dropped heavily onto the seat, nearly doubled over in agony.  _Five years ago, he had worried about that he had nothing to offer her.  Now, he had to go on without her.  Ten years ago, he had thought there could be no greater pain than what he felt at Braska's death, and Jecht's fate.  He was a fool twice over…at least._  _Maybe more.  Much, much more._  He started to get up, to turn back, but knew that he could not; he had to go on to the Stadium, to be there to take the boy to Spira.  He fell back onto the bench.  _Hell.  The boy would ask too many questions.  This was going to be difficult enough without talking about it_.  _He never wanted to talk about it.  About her.  Not to anyone.  That pain would be too much to bear_.  He looked again at his wedding ring.  _He had given her his word that he would wear it, always_.  After a moment's hesitation, he ripped the fastenings of the glove on his right hand nearly tearing the glove in his haste.  He twisted the ring from his left hand and jammed it on to his right, refastening the glove to conceal it.  He buried his face in his hands for a long moment.  Finally he stood, and resumed his rapid-paced journey through the city.  

At the top of a concrete and metal pier overlooking the ocean, he raised his tokkuri in a salute to the oncoming tidal wave.  "Hello old friend", he whispered to Jecht.  Then he went to meet the man's son, to take him home.

…Spira…

Yuna was troubled, so she woke in the night, sat up in her bedroll, intending to think about how to proceed with the pilgrimage.  As before, she looked at her sleeping companions, all close around her due to the lack of space within the confines of the Agency.  Again, as she looked over her sleeping friends, she heard Sir Auron talking in his sleep.  "Mercy, mercy," he repeated, but this time, as he searched with his right hand, she could see his hand clearly, as the ring caught the Agency lights.  So did the tears on his cheeks.  He rose up suddenly, burying his face in his hands.  Yuna lay down quickly and turned away, hoping he would not be aware that she had seen his distress.  Behind her closed eyelids, her mind pieced the puzzle together.

Auron lay back down, praying that no one had seen him except the watchful Kimahri.  The Ronso had kept his other secrets; Auron expected he would keep this one as well.

End Chapter Eleven.


	13. Rumours and Dreams

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The title of this chapter is from an album and a song on that album by Fleetwood Mac.  The song Dreams was written by Steve Nicks.  Part of the lyrics go as follows: "Have you any dreams you'd like to sell? Dreams of loneliness, like a heartbeat, drives you mad, in the stillness of remembering what you had, and what you lost."******

Auron woke too early, well before the others.  The Agency had promised hot bathing facilities, and, more importantly, hot water for shaving, as part of the use of their campground for the night.  He grabbed his kit and set off in search of them.  The hot bath eased his aching muscles, and the hot shaving water was a luxury he hadn't expected to see again this side of the Farplane.  Bare to the waist, he picked up his razor and looked at his face in the mirror.  _I look like hell_, he thought.  Too many nights without sleep had left him with a bloodshot eye, and heavy dark circles under both.  Pain, and grief, had gouged lines beside his mouth, in his forehead.  _The boy was right; I do look like an old man_.

He leaned over, gripped the sides of the sink for support, his head sunk between his arms.  _Hell, I feel like an old man_.  He closed his eyes and let grief wash over him.  Behind his eyelids, he saw a thousand images of he woman he loved, smiling, laughing, sleeping, arguing, fighting, concentrating, distracted, confused, sad, tense, happy.  He heard her voice echo in his mind, singing, whispering, calling his name in the throes of passion, and just plain talking.  He stared into the mirror again.  Just for a second, he thought he saw her, in the steam.  She was there in the bathing room with him, a towel secured above her breasts, in that mysterious way that women somehow managed.  The top of her head barely cleared his shoulder.  She was brushing her short, wet hair into place, before it dried into a spiked mop.  Her gaze met his in the mirror, and she looked at him with such love in her eyes, and such a mischievous smile, as if she was planning to grab a towel from his waist and run away with it.  He blinked to clear the moisture from his eye, and the vision was gone.  There was a pain in his chest, as though his heart were breaking.  

He splashed his face with the now-tepid water.  _This is getting me nowhere_, he thought bitterly.  _How can I go on if I keep looking back? _ He started to shave.  "Damn it all to hell," he cursed, as he nicked his chin.  By the time he finished shaving, and cleaned up the mess he'd made of himself, the others were eating the breakfast that Rikku had purchased.  He raised an eyebrow but said nothing. It had been her turn to prepare breakfast.  The pain in his chest seemed to have spread to his belly.  He wasn't hungry, so he went to make some inquiries of the storekeeper.  Yuna watched his retreating back.  She was worried about the older guardian, and about what she had seen the night before.  He looked troubled, or unwell.  She thought it was time to see if Tidus could shed some light into this particular darkness.

When Auron returned from the Agency shop, he told the party, "We need to head northwest from here."  The comment was about as straightforward as he ever got, but it made no sense.  It was greeted with universal puzzlement, but only Kimahri spoke in response.  "Sacred Mountain northeast.  Why go northwest?"

"Lady Yuna must visit Remiem Temple before we leave the Calm Lands.  She was invited."

Yuna tilted her head to one side, trying to remember.  Then it came to her.  "Lady Belgemine," she cried.

"Yes," Auron said gravely, "Belgemine.  She trains summoners at Remiem.  The entrance to the valley is only accessible by chocobo.  The chocobo rental agent is currently northwest of here."  He paused.  "Braska trained with Belgemine.  I believe he found it…worthwhile."

"Then I must accept her invitation.  We shall go northwest, and rent chocobos," Yuna said with an air of happiness.  She was so astounded that Sir Auron had offered such a clear piece of advice; she would have done practically anything he recommended.  It was that rare an occurrence.  And, she could talk with Tidus while they hiked to get the chocobos.

The stroll through the tall grass of the Calm Lands would have been pleasant, except for the fiends.  The attacks were frequent enough to keep them all on their guard.  Yuna walked with Tidus, suddenly reluctant to ask the question she had formed in her mind in the night.  They had shared a great deal about their lives as they journeyed, she had told him all about growing up in Besaid, with Lulu and Wakka.  She had told him about her father, too, but shied away from too many stories about the days of his pilgrimage, about Sir Auron, and Sir Jecht.  It was clear he didn't want to hear about his own father, or anything connected with him.  In turn, Tidus had talked about his Zanarkand, making the city live again, just for her.  She thought that there had been a person in the shadows, sometimes, when he reminisced.  At first, she had been worried that he had a girlfriend back in Zanarkand, and hadn't wanted to tell her, but the stories seemed to go too far back in time for that.  Now she wondered if this mystery person, and the person that Sir Auron reached for in the night, were one and the same.  _There was only one way to find out_, she was certain.

She scanned the trail ahead.  Kimahri was leading, and Wakka was just behind him.  She glanced back, pretending to be checking the distance to the Agency, trying not to meet anyone's eyes.  Lulu and Rikku were carrying on a desultory conversation behind them, but not close enough to hear anything she and Tidus might say, as long as they kept their voices low.  Sir Auron was guarding the rear of the party, continuously checking to the right and left of their trail, and probably listening behind as well.  She and Tidus were as alone as they might ever be.  If she truly wanted to ask, it needed to be soon.  It was difficult to talk while chocobo riding.  She twisted her hands in front of her in a moment of indecision, then she reached for his hand, and took it in her own.

"Who was Mercy?" Yuna asked softly.  

He looked at her in astonishment for a second, but answered her question anyway.  "Mercy was Auron's lady, in Zanarkand.  His wife."  Tidus choked out.  "How did you know?"

"Sir Auron talks in his sleep.  I heard him, last night," she said simply.  "What was she like?"

"She was," he paused for a moment, trying to think of the best way to say it, and then he knew, exactly.  "She was like you," he breathed in wonder.  And he knew it was true.  Not on the outside, the two women looked nothing alike, but on the inside.  Yuna was strong, just the way Mercy was.  He wondered if this was what Mercy had meant with that song…

Yuna didn't understand, or maybe, didn't take the comment seriously.  "Was she pretty?" she asked instead.

He groaned.  He knew he was in trouble.  If he said Mercy was pretty, Yuna might be jealous.  If he said she wasn't, he'd be lying, he knew was a bad liar, and Yuna would know he was lying.  He thought of something that might save him.  "Auron sure thought so," he said with a touch of sarcasm.  _Now there was an answer that was totally true_.

"But what did she look like?"  Yuna was getting just a little annoyed, at least for her.

He tried.  "She had dark hair, like Lulu's, but really, really short, and down on her forehead, a little like yours, I guess.  There was some silver in it, though.  She never used to wear makeup, except on stage, when she sang."

"She…sang?" Yuna asked quizzically.

"Yeah.  She sang in coffeehouses, and clubs and stuff, with her brother.  He played guitar.  That's how she met Auron.  She was singing, and he heard her from the street, and he went in to find out what it was all about, I guess."

"How old were you, when they met?"

"I was 12."  He was faraway for a few moments, seeing that instant again, feeling his jaw hit the floor when he opened his bedroom door and saw the pretty lady holding hands with the old man.

"What else?" Yuna prompted.

"She had brown eyes, and she was just a little taller than you are, but shorter than Lulu, I think.  She was very quick, like Rikku, because she was a swordfighter.  She used a long sword and a short sword together.  I heard Auron say she was very good.  They used to teach martial arts classes together, mostly unarmed stuff, though.  I used to meet them at his dojo sometimes, and I would watch them practice against each other through the windows.  They were awesome!" he said, and he grinned as remembered.

Yuna just stared at him in amazement, trying to form a picture of this woman in her mind.  

"Auron was so different, after he met her.  It's hard to believe, now.  I mean, he was actually happy.  It's not like he cracked jokes, or anything like that.  He wasn't that different.  But he wasn't grumpy all the time.  She made him smile more often.  He was more relaxed, I guess.  He wore regular clothes, for one thing.  They were married for three years, but I think they were together almost from the minute they met, I don't know how, or why exactly."  Suddenly, he remembered something else, and he blushed furiously.

"What is it?  Your face is red."

"They were embarrassing to be with.  They held hands a lot.  It was so weird.  I mean, they seemed so old to be holding hands all the time.  And, well," he stopped, looked at her intently, remembering their night at the lake, then continued, still blushing, "after the first few times, I learned that whenever I went to their apartment, it was better if I got there late.  If I got there on time, I always seemed to be interrupting something."

Tidus looked into the distance, then he began again, in a much more serious tone.  "He's not the same since we've been here.  I think…I think she took his pain away.  Now that she's gone, I think he hurts even more than he did before, inside.  It's like he's lost part of himself, maybe the best part.  Or maybe he's just lost without her."  He paused.  "I'm not sure I'm making any sense," he finished lamely.

"No, you are making sense.  You've, well, explained something I've been wondering about."  Finally she asked, "What happened to her?"

Tidus stared at his toes.  His face was filled with grief.  "I don't know for sure, but she must have been killed when Sin attacked Zanarkand.  When we were at the Farplane, Auron asked me to look for her.  It practically tore him apart when I told him she wasn't there.  Yuna, I never, ever, want to see that expression on anyone's face again."  Tidus had to stop speaking, to work past the ache in his throat.  "Auron was expecting her to be there.  But she was alive two nights before Sin came.  I know.  I saw her."  He remembered that night, the music, the scene in the Green Room, afterwards.  "Yuna, he knew, they all knew, Auron, Mercy, her brother, all of them.  I know they did.  She said goodbye to me without me realizing it, but she knew.  They both knew all along."  His voice was rising, enough so that Lulu and Rikku heard his distress, if not initially his words.  They increased their pace, began to catch up with the young couple.  They were close enough to hear his last anguished cry.  "He knew Sin was coming, he knew it.  They both did.  Auron was waiting for me outside the Stadium.  I swear he was.  He loved her so much.  Why didn't he bring her, too?  Why, didn't he, Yuna?  Why?"

His grip on her hand was like a vise.  His other hand formed a fist.  His face was screwed up tight with the effort not to cry, as Lulu and Rikku reached them.  They had heard the last few sentences.

"What's the matter?" Rikku asked, her whole body practically twisted in concern at his distress.

Lulu spoke at almost the same instant, "Who are you talking about?" she inquired, in that cool voice of hers.

Tidus couldn't take any more.  He knew he couldn't go through it all again without crying.  In a hoarse whisper, he said, "Yuna, will you tell them, please?"  She nodded, and let go of his hand.  He strode ahead to join Wakka, who wouldn't want to talk about anything more gut wrenching than the latest Blitzball scores.

As the young women watched Tidus stalk away, Rikku ordered Yuna to "Spill the beans."  At the end of the brief story, Rikku was disbelieving.  "You have got to be kidding.  That," she pointed her thumb over her shoulder, "grumpy old guy was actually married?"  Yuna nodded.

Lulu responded, "If he truly loved her, it might explain why he's so grumpy."

"Yeah, maybe, but not why anyone would ever fall for him in the first place," Rikku shot back cheekily.

Lulu was doing some serious thinking.  Rikku might not understand why a woman would be interested in Sir Auron, but she certainly did.  _So he has also lost someone he loved to Sin.  It is something that we have in common.  Perhaps…_Lulu wasn't ready to finish the thought.  Yet.

End Chapter Twelve


	14. Night Moves

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The title of this chapter is from a song written and performed by Bob Seger, particularly in reference to the lyrics at the end, "Ain't it funny how the night moves, when you just don't seem to have as much to lose?"******

When they found the chocobo rental agent in the Calm Lands, she was reluctant to part with any chocobos, as she was in the process of replenishing her stock, and the ones she had were about half-trained, at best.  It took some convincing, and not just with words, before they could have the mounts they needed to reach the hidden temple.  Tidus found training the big birds to be a lot of fun, so when they reached the lost temple and found the challenge race outside, he was eager to test himself against this supposed 'champion chocobo'.  Auron only let him try the race once before they went inside the temple.  Tidus beat the champion, but the prize was very strange.  It was a cloudy looking mirror.  He wasn't sure if it was good for anything, but he had won it fairly, so he planned on keeping it, just like he kept all his Blitzball trophies.  They weren't actually good for anything either, but he still hung onto them.  _Until the old man dragged him to Spira, anyway_.

Inside the temple, Belgemine related a little of the history of her home, Remiem Temple.  They were all surprised to learn that she was an unsent, like Seymour, and Maester Mika.  But Belgemine's purpose was to help Yuna, not to hinder or harm her or her friends.  She wished to train her, as she had trained many summoners before her, by challenging her to an aeon duel.  That was the purpose that had bound her to Spira.  Any summoner who could not defeat Belgemine was not ready to defeat Sin, not yet.  Yuna battled Belgemine's aeons with her own, defeated each of them in its turn, and was rewarded for her efforts.  After the last of the duels, Yuna had the distinct impression that Belgemine might not be through with her, not yet, but had no idea what that might mean.  The party left the echoing temple.  Yuna's training there was complete, for now.

Tidus had watched the duels with interest, but a part of his mind had been thinking about the chocobo race he had won.  There were six chests on the racetrack.  He had only been able to get three on his first attempt.  He thought he could get them all, if he just had one more chance…

The minute they were outside the temple, Tidus said, "'Scuse me," sprinted for the challenger's chocobo, and mounted it before anyone had a chance to say anything.  Most of the group smiled indulgently, then leaned over the rail to watch the race.  Auron just groaned at the waste of time.  Tidus reached the finish line in record time, having opened all the chests.  He raised his arms over his head in triumph, a cheeky grin splitting his face.  The reward didn't matter to him; it was the challenge that he savored.  His prize was a parchment map, covered in completely illegible script.  He thought at first that it was just some language from Spira that he couldn't read.  But when he showed it to the others, he discovered that no one could read it.  He still put it into his pack, but as he placed it on top of the strange mirror, the mirror reacted, it sort of, well, hummed.  He got the mirror and the parchment out of his pack and held them together.  The mirror hummed louder, but nothing else happened.  _What was that all about?_ he wondered.  He wrapped the mirror in some of his clothes, so his backpack wouldn't hum the whole time he was carrying it.  _Weird, really weird_, he thought.

As they traveled down the eastern edge of the Calm Lands by chocobo, they found a break in the rock wall.  When they entered the narrow canyon, they discovered an old man, bemoaning his inability to open his prized combat arena, due to a lack of fiends for training purposes.  Both Tidus and Wakka were all for helping the old guy out, but Auron stopped them, condemning the whole enterprise as, "A waste of time."  If he heard Tidus mutter something like, "Killjoy," under his breath in Wakka's direction, or saw Wakka nod in reply, he made no sign.

Lulu's thoughts about Sir Auron had taken a rather dangerous turn since Yuna had relayed the information about his lost wife.  She had always considered him to be a strikingly handsome man, but also an extremely distant one, seemingly out of any woman's reach.  Tidus' revelations, although second-hand, had shown her that her conclusion was in error.  The fact that he had been vulnerable once might make him doubly so now.  _Perhaps…_

It was time for her to move on, and she thought often about turning toward Wakka, but if she did, because Wakka had always been part of her life, that turning would change the future, whether the resulting relationship worked, or didn't.  But she might be able to assuage a little of Auron's loneliness, and, in turn, he might offer her a bridge back to living.  She knew there was probably some irony in that thought, but didn't care to pursue the contradictions further.  Still she continued to hold back.  Probably out of conscience.  _If she did pursue this "line of reasoning", even once, and Wakka ever found out…_

After the battle with Lady Ginnem, her resolve failed her, or her need for comfort overrode her conscience.  In either case, the confrontation with her first failure left Lulu with a need to live only in the moment, with no thought, for once, of the troubles to come.  As they made camp for the night, on the ledge before the opening that led down to the Cavern of the Lost Fayth, Auron isolated himself from the group.  Lulu took this as a sign that he might want the comfort she needed to give him.

He really just wanted to be as far away from Yojimbo's cave as possible.  He felt betrayed by this fayth, and his promises.  He knew that Yuna needed all the aeons, but Auron wished that she could have let this one pass, if it were possible.  The masked swordsman's words from five years ago ran through his head, over and over, he couldn't seem to escape them.  He wasn't sure if he was a bigger fool then, or now.  The fayth had been right about one thing.  It had been sweet.  Very, very sweet.  _But who had neglected to play their part?  Who?_

She was coming.  "Sir Auron, may I speak with you a moment?" Lulu asked him archly.  He silently gestured an invitation for her to speak  "In private," she continued.

He inclined his head to her, and they began to move down the narrow path, to the next place where they could comfortably stand together to talk.  There was a rusty sword stuck in the ground.  Idly, Auron pulled the old sword out of the niche and leaned it against the standing stone next to his katana, as he stared down at the black mage, waiting for her to raise whatever issue she had to discuss with him.

"Sir Auron," she began, her voice soft.  "Auron."  She leaned close to him, resting her hands on his left arm within the sling of his coat.  "We have both lost someone very dear to us because of Sin."

Auron's control slipped for just a moment.  The word burst out before he could stop it.  "How?…"

"Did I know?  You talk in your sleep, sometimes.  You must miss her very much," she went on, hoping for a response, but she received none.  He had charge of himself again.  Inside he was thinking, _Damn the boy, he must have told them_, but his face showed nothing.

Lulu plunged on, feeling that she had committed herself too far to turn back.  "I believe that we could…comfort each other."  Her eyes locked onto his, her hand came up to touch his cheek.  Automatically, his eye closed in response to the caress.  The mage took it as encouragement, and leaned nearer still, slipping her right hand behind his neck as her left pulled his collar down.  She pressed her lips to his, and his mouth opened in astonishment.  She believed this was going to work, she really did.  And, for a moment, as her full breasts pressed against his arm, and her breath was in his mouth, he slitted his eye open, trying to convince himself that in the shadows, her tightly braided dark hair was Mercy's short cap instead.  He gripped her waist, but his hand found her boned corset, instead of Mercy's soft skin and taut form.  His senses would not even allow him to fool himself long enough to take the cold comfort the mage offered.  So, he was tempted, but only for a few seconds.  _And he would hate himself enough for those_.  Carefully, he stepped away from her.  The hurt expression on Lulu's face as he broke away was another form of punishment.

"That is enough," he said, making his voice cold and emotionless as only he could.

"But, Auron…" she moved towards him, her hands outstretched.

He raised a hand to her in warning, and Lulu stopped in her tracks.  "Stay away from me in future.  We are both Yuna's guardians.  Except for matters concerning the pilgrimage, we have nothing else to discuss.  Return to the others–now.  I will guard your passage from here."

Lulu looked up into his face, imploringly, one last time, then she began to walk away.  As she headed back toward the others, her pace changed from a dejected slouch to a hip-swinging strut.  Within a few steps, she turned to Auron, her face filled with pride, and anger.  "You'll regret this," she challenged him.  

He had felt sorry for her, but, seeing her face now, he felt nothing but relief.  He responded, "You aren't fit to wipe her boots."  She turned and strode the rest of the way to the campsite, filled with righteous indignation.  He stood there feeling slightly stupid; listening to make sure that he didn't hear her scream as fiends attacked her.  The silence was only marred by the sound of a slight "thud" behind him.  As soon as he was certain she must be safe, he followed the path to its end, his katana over his shoulder.  Where the path dead-ended there was a chest, dust still settling around it.  _This is unusual_, he thought, as he opened it.  Inside, there was a crest, similar to ones they had already found, but this was a Minerva Crest, whatever that might mean.  He stowed the odd crest in his pack, and retrieved the rusty sword on his way back to the camp.

On the other side of Mt. Gagazet, a dark figure tumbled down, at the water's edge, into the ruins of Zanarkand.  

End Chapter thirteen


	15. One More Night

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The title of this chapter is from a song performed by Phil Collins.******

Ten days after Elder Kelk Ronso had granted the party safe passage over the Sacred Mountain, they were over the peak, and for once, had managed to reach one of the rare Ronso settlements at the right time to make camp.  For one night, they would be able to sleep between four walls, maybe even in real beds, certainly not on permanently frozen ground, eat food someone else had cooked.  And they wouldn't need to post a guard.  Everyone would be able to get some much-needed rest.  _The lift to all their spirits was probably more beneficial than the night's sleep would be_, Yuna thought to herself, as she bestowed one of her beatific smiles upon the Ronso villagers.

The travelers' rest mostly served as the local pub, it was really the only way that the owner could make a go of it.  He only had three rooms upstairs that he rented to any summoner's parties that happened to stop in the village.  The publican was startled to see such a large party, but he still did as he always had, assigning the Summoner to a separate room, leaving the rest of the group to sort themselves out and inform him of whatever arrangements they might have made later.  Auron remembered this place from his pilgrimage with Braska, there was only one bed in each room.  They made their sleeping arrangements accordingly.  Lulu and Rikku would share one room, he, Tidus, Wakka and Kimahri would nominally share the other, but he knew Kimahri would probably spend the night guarding Yuna's door.  _So be it_.  Auron asked the innkeeper for sleeping furs to be placed on the floor of the room he was sharing with the two young blitzers for himself.  He had unfortunately had many sleepless nights to observe all of his fellow guardians.  Both of the young men kicked viciously in their sleep.  _Let them kick each other black and blue, I intend to get some sleep_.

The group met in the inn's Common Room for dinner.  The stew was excellent, possibly even more so since none of them had to catch it, cook it, or clean up after it.  Yuna seemed to be rather tired, so, after one speaking glance at Tidus, she excused herself from the table and retreated to her room immediately after dinner.  Kimahri followed her without a word.  He seemed uncomfortable in the company of so many of his own people, after so long away.  

They remaining party members continued to keep up a desultory conversation, as Tidus' gaze kept wandering to the door of the Common Room, and then back to the table.  He seemed to be making up his mind about something.  Lulu was watching him, waiting to pounce if he tried to leave before the rest of the group.  She knew what he was thinking about, all right.

_I need a distraction_, Tidus thought.  He looked across the table at Auron, and saw that his dark glasses had slipped down.  _Good, I'll know when I've got him_.  Then he stood up, turned his chair around, so that the back of the chair was against the edge of the table, and sat back down again, straddling the chair, with his chin on his crossed arms.  He had made plenty of noise in the process, drawing the older man's attention.  Their eyes met.  Tidus rolled his eyes to the ceiling, then slid his eyes across the table, in Lulu's direction, and finally, raised his eyebrows quizzically, all in a few seconds.  Auron blinked in astonishment.  For the first time, he saw, not a boy looking back at him, but, for the first time, another man.  In this case, a man who wanted him to keep Lulu distracted while he went upstairs to attempt to convince Kimahri to let him into Yuna's room.  _Very well.  He would deal with the mage.  Tidus was on his own with the Ronso_.  Auron nodded, imperceptible to all except the young man.

Tidus asked the older guardian a question about the road ahead.  "Auron, you've been here before, what can we expect on the rest of the mountain trail?"

_Very good_, he thought, _her curiosity is her abiding weakness_.  No one expected him to answer.  He almost never answered straightforward questions about the road.  But he had tacitly agreed to make an exception in this case, so he began, "The next two or three days will be much the same as the rest of the mountain, then we will reach the caverns…"

As soon as Lulu's eyes were focused on Auron, Tidus slipped from the room, and headed up the stairs, two at a time.  

When he reached Yuna's door, Kimahri barred his passage.  Tidus spoke to the Ronso,  "Kimahri, I think Yuna needs me."  He tried to sound confident, but he still blushed.

"Kimahri think so, too," the Ronso replied.  He stood aside, to let Tidus knock on Yuna's door.  _If Yuna need him, Yuna let him in, if not, Yuna send him away.  Kimahri not need to protect Yuna from her guardians_.

"Yuna, it's me.  Can I come in?" he asked shyly.

"Yes, please," she said, with a glad cry.  He heard the sound of her quick footsteps, as she flung open the door.  Her warm smile was like the sun.  He stepped quickly inside, and she shut the door behind him.  And bolted it.  Kimahri smiled.

Downstairs, Lulu realized that Tidus' chair had been empty for too long for his absence to merely be related to a "call of nature."  She rose from her own seat, and set sail for the stairs herself, at a somewhat statelier pace than Tidus had used earlier.  

Rikku took in the entire situation in a single glance, then cast Auron a beseeching look.  _Why is this my problem?_ He thought ruefully.  Still, he pushed his chair back, and pursued the black mage, his longer legs eating up the short distance, reaching the foot of the stairs just before she did.  He used his greater height and bulk to loom over her, blocking her way to the upper floor of the small inn.  Then he waited, in silence, for her to explain herself.  He knew it would not take long.  

"Please let me pass.  I need to go upstairs."

He didn't even bother to respond.  He continued to wait, letting the silence between them stretch out until she felt compelled to break it.  

"Tidus went upstairs some time ago."  She continued, adding more than a hint of mockery, "I believe he intended to 'keep Yuna company'."  Coldly, she went on, "I don't believe that it would be proper for the situation to go on any longer than it already has."

Auron finally spoke to her.  His tone was quiet, but even colder than hers had been, and slightly menacing.  "Who are you to say what is or is not proper?" he reminded her.

"I only want to do what is best for Yuna," Lulu replied, her temper rising.

"That is Yuna's privilege, to decide what is best for herself."  

"But it will only make things more difficult for her later."

"Perhaps.  But that is also her choice," Auron replied gravely.  He held Lulu's eyes, until she bowed her head in acknowledgement of his words, and Yuna's right to make her own decisions, at least for this one night.  He motioned to the mage with his arm, and she turned back to the Common Room.  

As they resumed their seats, Wakka asked Auron another question about the Gagazet caverns, as though they had never left, but Rikku was clearly relieved to see them both return to the table unscathed.  A few minutes later, as she and Lulu passed Auron on their way upstairs, the young Al Bhed was chattering something about "trying to braid my hair like yours when it's a little longer", as though she hadn't a thought in her head.  But he felt a tentative touch on his back as Rikku passed, as though the girl were trying to say, "Thanks."

As soon as Lulu was out of earshot, Wakka finally got around to asking Auron, "Is Tidus with…?" not even bothering to finish the question.  

_He certainly has developed some survival skills_, Auron thought acidly, as he answered, "Yes."  _This was getting to be a long night._

"Sir Auron, do you think that's such a good idea?" Wakka was honestly concerned about Yuna.

"I think," he replied with some sarcasm, "that it is none of our concern.  I am going up to get some rest.  I suggest you do the same.  Good night."

"If you say so," Wakka replied, still in considerable doubt.

Tidus woke Auron before dawn, as he quietly opened the door to their room.  When he saw the older man sitting up in the furs, Tidus knelt beside him on the floor.  "Thanks for covering for me last night," he whispered.  

"You're welcome.  But don't ask again.  It is time for you to fight your own battles," he growled in reply.

"I know, Auron.  But Yuna's the one Mercy sang about, in that last concert.  She's a lot like her.  Strong, you know?"  The young man paused, and tried to read Auron's expression in the dark.  "I miss her so much, sometimes," he added, with a catch in his voice.

Auron turned away, so Tidus had no chance to see his face.  _I miss her, too_.  _I miss her too much_.  "Auron…" Tidus called softly, but the older man kept his face resolutely turned toward the wall.  

But Tidus thought that since he had already started, he might as well keep going.  It seemed easier in the dark.  "Mercy knew, didn't she?  About all this, I mean.  Sin, Spira, everything.  You told her what was going to happen."

"Yes," Auron choked out.  It was all he could manage to say.

"Why didn't you tell me, too?"

Auron still couldn't face him, as he whispered, in a hoarse, croaking voice, "She wished it, but I thought it would be too much for you to understand.  She disagreed.  We argued about it.  Frequently.  But Mercy saw it as my decision, even though she never agreed with me."  _She never stopped arguing with me about it either, not until almost the end_, Auron remembered with regret.  _I should have listened to her.  I should not have wasted time 'discussing' it_. 

Tidus wanted desperately to ask why Auron hadn't brought Mercy with them, but Wakka unfortunately chose that moment to utter a sleepy "Whassup?" and began to get out of bed.  Nearly dawn and bitter cold.  Tidus could almost hear Auron's mask slip back into place.

End Chapter fourteen


	16. The Stuff that Dreams are Made of

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The title of this chapter is from a song performed by Carly Simon.******

The night after they defeated the Sanctuary Keeper, they started a driftwood fire at the edge of the Zanarkand Ruins.  As they all sat around the campfire, Tidus tried to get everyone to talk, to reminisce, anything to postpone the inevitable meeting with Lady Yunalesca.  Some distance along the path, off to one side, a pile of debris shifted.  A lone figure dozed under the rubble.  It seemed that the late afternoon through early evening twilight was a good time to get some rest, as the fiends were less active then.  Being buried under the city's wreckage also helped.  Amidst her dreams of Zanarkand, her lost Zanarkand, the young man's voice had woven in and out of her trance with the breeze.  _Those were the good old days_.  Other, unfamiliar voices had drifted into her dream, and then one clear, unmistakable, "Enough," in a deep, rough voice jolted the sleeper awake.  _Was it even possible?  Finally?_  The lone camper scooped up her few items and settled her pack on her shoulders.  As soon as the light wind brought the young man's voice back to her, she started off in what she thought was the right direction.  Her pace quickened as the voices grew louder.  When she heard a grunted, "Hmph," at one of the younger man's inane comments, she began to jog down the path, then run.  

Tidus said "Hey! There was more, right? I mean, like that time...uh... Anyone?"  And Yuna responded, "I think we should stop...maybe. For now."

Tidus walked up the hill behind the party, to look toward the ruined city, and saw the dark figure running toward them along the path.  He didn't know how, or why, but he knew.  He slid partway down the hill, and yelled for Auron, as he pointed toward the rushing figure.

They all turned in the direction that Tidus had indicated, but, with the advantage of height, Auron could see the dark shape barreling towards the group without climbing.  He should have thought it was a fiend, but he didn't.  Instead, he lowered his glasses, intending to put them inside his coat.  He wanted to be sure the figure wasn't an illusion.  But it was the same illusion that stopped his heart, as she always did.  For the first, few tortured seconds, he saw her, as he had seemed to so many times before, with both eyes, running towards him, and he knew.  His glasses dropped from his nerveless fingers.  He started to walk toward the distant figure, then he, too, began to run.  As he sped down the path, he tore at the clasps that held his collar in place.  One unfastened, one broke off.  It didn't matter.  The collar fell by the side of the path, unheeded.

She concentrated all her effort on running, on keeping her footing on the broken pavement, until she heard the thudding of his heavy boots heading towards her.  Then she looked up to see him moving to meet her.  He caught her up in his arms, and swung her around, holding her high up, just for the sheer joy of looking up at her, feeling her lithe body in his arms again, after the long despair of believing her lost forever.  She slid down slowly, until her feet were on the ground and her arms were around his neck, his broad back to the distant group.  Then he touched her face with his hand and looked into her eyes.  "Are you a dream?" he asked.  "No, love, I'm real.  I'm real.  I'm here," she responded, as she pulled his head down to hers, to prove to him just how real she was, and to let herself drink in the taste of him after the long months without him.  _If this is a dream, I don't ever want to wake up, _he thought, as he bent his head to kiss her again, and again.  After so long, neither of them could stop, or let go.  Her hand speared through the hair at the back of his neck, caught in the tie that bound it, snagged.  When the slight pain didn't wake him, he was certain this was no dream.  She could feel his lips curve in a smile as they trailed down her neck.  _Real.  Including the damn armor.  She had missed him so much_.  The need to connect, again, in every possible way, overwhelmed her senses; his tongue was hot in her mouth.  Her hand was under his coat, grabbing his backside with her nails.  She could drive him insane this way, as she often had.  He was happy to do the same to her, with one hand inside her shirt, the other cupping her bottom, pressing her lower body against his as tightly as possible as his mouth slashed over hers.  She writhed against him, in a combination of pleasure and quickly mounting frustration.  _Where could they go to get away from the audience back at the campsite?_ passed through his fevered brain.  _Audience…campsite…HELL_.  With a sense of reluctance, he tried to put Mercy's clothing to rights.  His hands caressed her face again, as he reluctantly raised his head.  "I forgot," he said, in considerable embarrassment.  "We have an audience.  I believe far enough down the road.  The rest of the Summoner's party.  And Tidus."  _She would want to know about the boy_.

He held her loosely, in the circle of his arms, as she did a better job of putting her shirt the rest of the way back on.  Then she just hugged him, tight.  "I should have remembered, too.  Tidus' voice woke me up.  I was sleeping, back there."  She pointed behind her, well down the path to a pile of rubble.  "I thought I was dreaming, about the 'good old days', until I heard the other voices."  She smiled up at him, "Then I heard you, and I began to hope, that it might not be a dream, after all."

He chuckled.  "They're not exactly…dreamboats, not any of them.  They know about you, by the way…blame the boy."

"It's okay.  It might make this a little easier."  She paused and took a deep breath.  "But not much."  Still, she loosened the grip she had around his waist, and looked up.  "Let's go."

"Before we go, there's something I need you to do.  He peeled the black glove from his right hand, as she looked on in puzzlement.  As he finished, she understood.  He twisted the ring from his finger, and dropped it into her waiting palm.  Then she took his left hand in hers, and put his wedding ring back where it belonged, on the third finger of his left hand.  The same hand rose to spread itself over her cheek.  "Mercy…my lady, I love you."

"I love you, too, Auron."  _You don't know how much_.

Yuna moved close to Tidus, standing behind him.  "Is that…?"  "Yes," he replied, the grin obvious as he spoke.  Rikku scooped up Auron's discarded glasses, folding and unfolding them in her hands.  She just breathed, "Wow," to no one in particular, as they all watched the dark figures in the distant twilight.

Auron and Mercy walked to the camp in a companionable silence.  There wasn't enough time to say any of the things that really needed to be said.  Walking together still seemed as natural as breathing.  She took her position on his right, and he automatically accommodated his pace to hers.  They walked side-by-side, not touching, as they had when they were hunting in the hills outside the dream city.  She looked over at Auron striding beside her.  _This is his world, not mine_, she thought.  _I need to play by his rules.  He probably has a reputation to protect here.  I certainly don't_.

Tidus resisted the impulse to run out to meet them, but when she was just a few steps away he found himself moving forwards, his arms outstretched, as she quickened her pace to meet him in a hug.  Always openly affectionate, Tidus kept one arm around her shoulders as he turned to face the rest of the group, "Hey, guys, this is Mercy…"  

Tidus voice trailed off as Auron tugged Mercy away to his side and finished the sentence with, "my wife."  He clasped her hand briefly then let it go.  _Okay, he might have a reputation to protect… and he's every bit as possessive as the next man_, she thought to herself.

The kid was still grinning about something.  "Let me introduce you to everyone," he was saying.  She just nodded, consenting to the inevitable.  The first was a very serious young woman with shoulder-length brown hair and odd-colored eyes, one blue, one green.  "Mercy, this is our Summoner, Yuna."  There was something in his voice as he spoke, and the way he brushed his hand against Yuna's back, that told Mercy there was a relationship between these two.  It made her both happy, and sad, considering the choices Yuna would face inside Zanarkand.  _She must be Braska's daughter_.

"Auron told me many stories about his journey with your father," Mercy informed the young woman.

First, Yuna turned to Auron.  "Sir Auron, this is so wonderful."  Then, she bowed to Mercy deeply, showing great respect, which surprised her, and said, "Lady Mercy, I am honored to meet you.  It is a great miracle that you were also able to make the journey from the other Zanarkand to Spira.  Praise be to Yevon."  Then Yuna made the 'sign of victory' that she thought was a prayer.  Mercy's mind was whirling.  _Sir Auron.  Lady Mercy?  What was that all about?_

Kimahri, standing guard behind Yuna, as always, was next.  Forced to look way, way up to meet the Ronso's eyes, Mercy decided that Auron's descriptions had not nearly done the Ronso or his people, justice.  She also knew he owed Kimahri a debt of honor.  _What could she say?_

"Auron told me of your people.  I know your people are fierce warriors in battle.  I also know they are honorable people in peace and in war."  She tried to meet Kimahri's eyes steadily, to convey that she meant more than she said.

Kimahri inclined his head, just a fraction.  He understood.  "Kimahri glad to meet Lady Mercy."  The Ronso stepped back to allow Rikku to move forward.  _Lady again.  Lady who?  Lady had Auron forgotten to tell her something?  Damn the man._

Rikku silently handed Auron his abandoned glasses.  He absently stuffed them inside his coat.  _Good, the rest of this evening will be simpler if I'm not trying to interpret his expression though those dark lenses_, she thought.  

"Hi, I'm Rikku.  Pleased to meet you," said a chirpy little voice from a perky, blonde-haired woman-child with swirling-pupilled green eyes.

"Hello, Rikku.  I've never met an Al Bhed before.  I hope we have a chance to talk about machina sometime.  My brother and I used to use them in our performances in Zanarkand."

"Sure thing," said Rikku in surprise.

Then Tidus introduced the other man as, "Wakka, the captain of the Besaid Aurochs."

He was big, almost Auron's height and build, but she found herself wondering what kept that red hair styled into that shape, and why?  He spoke first.  "Lady Mercy, it is truly the blessing of Yevon that you are here," as he made that prayer sign again.

Something exploded in Mercy's head.  He was the third person to call her "Lady Mercy".  _This was getting ridiculous_.  When she looked at Auron, the smirk on his face told her that he had been wondering how long it was going to take for her to react.  She rounded on him, "Would you like to tell me when, exactly, I became, 'Lady' Mercy?  I don't seem to recall," she said sarcastically.

His expression didn't change as he drawled, "I hope you remember.  It was the day we were married."

"I see.  We'll talk about this later," she gave him a dark look as she spoke.  Tidus grinned at both of them.  Their act was so familiar to him, it was as though a part of his world that he hadn't been aware was unsteady had finally righted itself.

Lulu spoke up, without being introduced.  "It was very convenient, your appearance here.  How did you manage it?  Where have you been?"  Her voice was colder than the snow on Gagazet.  

"And you would be?" Mercy asked the voluptuous, dark-haired woman.

There was a long pause, as everyone waited for someone else to answer.  Mercy noticed that Auron did not answer, which itself answered one of her questions.  Wakka was the one who filled the silence with, "This is Lulu, our black mage."

"Thank you for the introduction, Wakka.  Why don't we all sit by your campfire, and swap stories?  I would be happy to go first," Mercy said coolly.

They all sat down around the fire.  Mercy got the pack off her shoulders, and pulled her swords out of her belt.  It was a great way to wear them, but she couldn't sit with them.  She dropped easily to the ground, and sat with her legs crossed, the swords lying in front of her in case they were attacked.  Tidus lounged to her right, with Yuna on his other side.  Auron sat to her left, putting her on his right.  That was normal.  What surprised her was how close he was.  A lot could be said with body language, and he was saying a great deal.  He did not touch her, but he sat closer to her than she thought he would have to anyone else, close enough to demonstrate intimacy, even without touch.  She could feel the warmth of his body along her left side, across the bare inches that separated them.  Their body language showed a closer relationship than any others in this party, save one.  In the firelight, Tidus and Yuna leaned towards each other, his shoulder occasionally brushing hers. 

Mercy began to speak.  She had agreed to tell her story first.  She started with Auron, since that was where it had begun.  "After you left, I looked out the windows.  I saw the tidal wave heading towards the city.  It looked like it was coming straight for the building.  I also saw the ball of water overhead.  It looked, well, different from the tidal wave in some way, less threatening maybe, because it wasn't sending out projectiles like the tsunami was."

"The projectiles were Sinspawn," Tidus told her

"I just saw that the water ball seemed less hostile than the tidal wave.  I don't know why, but I took my backpack and headed up to the roof of the building.  You know it was a very tall building.  I guess I thought that if the 'ball' got me, it would be less violent, and I might have a better chance to reach the Farplane that way.  Why I picked up the pack, I'm not sure.  Force of habit, I guess."  She looked down as she said that.  Auron thought that there was something 'off' about part of the story, but he wouldn't challenge her in front of the others.

"I went up to the roof to wait for it.  Our apartment building was in one of the tallest buildings.  Instead of being killed, I was swept up into the edge of the ball.  Next thing I knew, I found myself here, still in Zanarkand, but in Spira."

"If you knew where you were, why didn't you just walk out?  Why wait here?"  Lulu was clearly skeptical.

"Auron told me about Spira.  I knew where I was.  Also, the ruins of the dome up ahead are the Blitzball stadium, and I'd recognize that anywhere."  She grinned affectionately at Tidus.  "You dragged me to too many games for me to ever forget the place."  Mercy faced the fire again.  "But the only way out of here is over Gagazet.  I do not have any cold weather gear.  And Auron had told me about the Ronso.  I wasn't sure how they would react to someone who came alone from this side of the Sacred Mountain who they knew had not started from the other side.  I figured they would think I was a fiend, and just kill me before I had a chance to explain.  I was waiting for the first summoner's party to show up, so I could get news and cross back over with them.  What took you guys so long?"  She wanted to get the focus of the group away from herself, as much as was possible, under the circumstances, before they started asking too many questions.

Tidus immediately took up the story, "Well, first we…"

Mercy held up a hand to interrupt, before he got into his non-stop talking mode, "Tidus, I love you dearly, but can you please give me the really, truly, extremely short version, just this once?"  She grinned from ear-to-ear.  Yuna tried to stifle a laugh, and failed.  She collapsed in giggles, as did Rikku.  Tidus blushed furiously, as Wakka laughed out loud.  Even Auron and Kimahri chuckled.  Lulu just raised one eyebrow in derision, as Tidus began to regale Mercy with a supposedly condensed version of their journey, but whether her attitude was directed at Mercy's person or Tidus' storytelling was impossible for Mercy to judge.

As she listened to Tidus relate the story of their journey to the ruins, with occasional commentary from a few of the others, she felt herself to be the object of everyone's curiosity, and tried very hard not to catch them watching her.  She stared into the fire as the story unfolded, and wondered what her husband was thinking.

Auron thought there was a hole in her story somewhere, but he couldn't quite find it.  He thought that what she said was the truth, but that there was something that she did not want to say in front of the entire party, or a clue that he was not seeing.  His brain really was not working very well right now, and he wasn't sure that he even cared at the moment.  He found himself staring at her profile, as she gazed into the fire.

She could feel his gaze; the heat it generated was more intense than any fire.  She turned her eyes to his.  For a split-second, the raw need showed on his face, before he could control his expression.  Her breath caught.  She could feel how much warmth he was generating; she had to grip her wrists to stop herself from reaching out to him.  His right hand had formed a fist, to keep himself from touching her.  He was just grateful he wouldn't have to stand up for a while, hopefully a long while.  She wondered what was going to happen when it was time to set up camp for the night.  If necessary, she would lay her bedroll down next to Auron's in camp with everyone else, but nothing would happen, not even a good cuddle, and neither of them would get any sleep.  This was not exactly her idea of a good time.  Or his.  She hoped he would 'think of something' before then, otherwise, it was going to be a very long night.

As Tidus finished their story, her stomach rumbled.  "You hungry?" Wakka asked.

"I'm starving.  Have you got anything I could eat?  I was lucky, my pack had most of the trail rations, but I ran out of those a long time ago.  There are a lot more fiends around here than beasts.  I mean, those clouds of pyreflies are really pretty, and it's very tidy not having the carcasses lying around, but there's nothing for the stewpot, if you know what I mean.  I don't suppose you have any fruit?  Even raisins would be a real treat."  This statement was greeted with mirth by most of the party.  Everyone looked in their packs, and after a brief search, produced a slightly wizened apple and some raisins.  Mercy was in heaven.  Both Tidus and Wakka had a snack, just so she wouldn't feel uncomfortable, eating alone.

When they finished, Yuna said, "I think we should camp here, for the night.  Then we can get a fresh start, in the morning."  Tidus was relieved.  One more night before they met Yunalesca.  There was an awkward silence, as the rest of them tried to figure out how to handle the camping arrangements, complicated by the latest addition to their party.  

Kimahri's bass voice dropped into the stillness.  "Camp here.  Kimahri, Tidus, first watch.  Wakka, Rikku, second watch.  Kimahri, Lulu, last watch.  Auron not watch.  Auron and his lady camp on other side of hill.  Come back in morning."

Everyone was nonplussed for several seconds.  Mercy was the first to recover.  She thought that being a Ronso must give Kimahri a tremendous advantage in situations like this.  He didn't blush the way the rest of them did.  She was blushing furiously, but it didn't stop her from getting up and bowing respectfully to the Ronso.  "Thank you, Kimahri."  Auron was speechless, but at least he was moving.  She picked up her swords and her pack, while he collected his gear.  His face was red under his tan, and there was an abruptness to his movements that further indicated his embarrassment.  She hoped it was only the method he objected to, and not the result.  She said, "Good night, everyone," before they walked out of the camp together.  The only sound out of Auron was, "Hmph."

He was silent as they walked around the hill to the side opposite the other camp.  _He's thinking too much.  We're going to have to talk.  Soon.  Damn, I was hoping I could put this off until later tonight._

He was thinking.  _Yojimbo kept his promise, after a fashion.  Now that she is here, when the time comes, any Summoner can send her to the Farplane, whether she believes or not.  But I hope her time will not come for years and years._  

Without speaking, they agreed on a place to camp, and wordlessly laid out their bedrolls and began to prepare for the night.  They had done this so many times in the dream Zanarkand, they were able to perform the necessary tasks automatically.  His thoughts continued, _if Yuna chooses the traditional path, my time should come tomorrow.  Is it right to bind her closer again for just one night?  Maybe this wasn't such a good idea…_

While his mind was occupied, the rest of him went through the same routine that they had usually followed when hunting.  He didn't need to think about setting up a campsite.  She decided to follow suit.  If they were going to talk, they might as well be comfortable about it.  

She sat down on the bedroll with her pack between her knees, leaned forward to reach inside for the folded bunch of clothes she used for a pillow.  Once she found it, she patted it in place, then she stood, and unwound the red cloth around her midriff.  She removed her tunic as well, and put both inside the pack, which she then placed at the head of the bedroll.  Her bra and leggings would do for clothing, considering the company.  After she checked to make sure that her swords were where she could reach them quickly if they were attacked, she sat down again, her head on her knees.  The one thing about these boots, thigh-high boots were a real pain to take off.  Auron still wasn't talking, so asking him for help was out of the question.  Finally, taking one ankle in both hands, she twisted her right boot off.

He put his pack above where his head would be, placed the katana where he could reach it if they were attacked during the night, then unbuckled his belt and laid it over the pack.  The coat he folded to use as a pillow.  The pack doubled as a stand for his armor, as well.  Stripped to his t-shirt and slacks, he sat on the bedroll to take off his boots.  His boots came off easily, and he set them aside.  

He remained seated, staring into the distance, lost in thought.  _Tomorrow, in the Dome, they would all discover the truth of the Final Aeon.  Yuna would choose.  They would probably fight Sin.  He had planned to leave after that battle, losing two summoners and two fellow guardians in one 'lifetime' was enough.  He had been tired of his continued existence since he returned to Spira.  But now, his two worlds had collided.  Mercy was here, somehow.  But she was part of the other Zanarkand.  If Yuna found another way, then what would happen to her?  He thought he knew_.  All the paths before him seemed dark.

Her left boot was stuck.  She leaned back, trying to get a firmer grip on it, and her shoulder bumped into his.  _To hell with his second thoughts, or his third ones for that matter_, she thought, as she braced herself against his broad back and gave her recalcitrant boot a good, hard, twist.  At first, he remained still, lulled by the familiarity of her body, but he turned in his seat just as her foot popped out of the fitted end of her boot.  The force of her own anger at the 'stupid boot' was still propelling her arms when he turned and she lost the support of his back against hers.  She fell across his knees, the now empty boot held awkwardly in her upraised hands.  He caught her as she tumbled back, one arm supporting her head and shoulders.  

With his free hand, he plucked the boot out of her grip and tossed it aside.  Now that he was looking at her again, his dark thoughts fled.  All he could think about was how much he loved her, how glad he was that she was here, now, tonight.  He stared into her face, her eyes, and thought he saw love, a certain amount of exasperation, and maybe something else, as well.

Without the boot, her hands were empty, and she wasn't sure where to put them.  She wanted to reach for him, but she was afraid that if she did, it would push him away.  He was not going to like what she had to tell him, she'd rather save it for later.  She looked up into his face, and watched his expression change.  She saw the moment when he stopped buying tomorrow's troubles and finally saw tonight as the gift it was.  Effortlessly, he drew her up into a sitting position, and their arms wrapped around each other, as his lips found hers.  Then they fell down onto the mats, pulling at each other's clothes, during and between hard, insistent kisses, discovering reality infinitely sweeter than memory, and that they had not forgotten each other's pleasures.  For a brief while, there was only the joy they made together.

Much later, Mercy lay next to Auron in that dreamy, relaxed state where her brain had turned to mush, but she wasn't actually sleepy. _I wish I didn't have to do this now, but there might not be another chance.  I hope he's just as wiped out as I am_, she thought hazily.  She raised herself on one elbow, and looked down into his face.  _He's half asleep.  This is going to be about as much fun as the morning he told me about this place_.

"Auron, we have to talk."

_Why did it always sound so ominous when a woman said 'we have to talk?'_ he wondered.  _It did sound ominous_.  He was awake.

"I didn't tell the others everything about how I got to Spira."

He turned on his side, so he could face her.  He didn't think he was going to like this story.  "I didn't think so.  Tell me."

"When you left, I did watch the tidal wave, and Sin coming, from the windows, that much was true.  The wave was going to go straight through the building on its way to the stadium.  You were right.  The building was a target.  I knew I couldn't get away, it was coming too fast.  I knew I was going to die, but I didn't know if that would be enough to reach your Farplane."  She tried to will him to understand what she was saying.  "Love, I believe you, I believe in you, I did from the very beginning, but that doesn't mean I believe what you believe.  I knew I was going to die, but I didn't want to die.  I didn't believe in your Farplane, just in you.  I didn't know whether that would be enough to let me in, or keep me out.  I watched the storm coming and said I wished there was another way, and then I heard fingers snapping behind me, and there was a woman, one of the fayth, in the room with me, out of nowhere.  She said there was another way, if I chose to take it, but that it involved great trials, and if we failed, great loss, but if we succeeded, our hearts' desire."

"We?"

"Yes, I'm afraid so.  Sorry."  She was abashed at putting him through this without his knowledge, but there had been no other way.

"Tell me the rest."

"She said that we had set the parameters for your part of the trial ourselves.  I offered you your freedom, and you refused to take it.  You gave me your word.  The trial was, therefore, that someone would tempt you to break your word.  It was Lulu, wasn't it, a little over three weeks ago?"

His embarrassed silence was all the answer she needed, but eventually he said, "How did you know?"

"Yuna is in love with Tidus.  Rikku was surprised, but happy to meet me.  Lulu wasn't happy at all.  You were too embarrassed to introduce us.  I know about the timing because of my part of the trial."  She swallowed, hard.  This wouldn't be easy.

"I needed to ride Sin from Zanarkand to Spira, but the fayth couldn't just knock at the front door, so to speak, the way you did.  They had to sneak me in the back door.  The fayths of Zanarkand, the fayths of the aeons, Sin, and Yevon are all related somehow, because she said this 'other way' of hers would work.  All I had to do was take my pack and go up to the roof of the building.  She would be waiting for me up there.  I could think about everything while I went up.  She would throw me into Sin from the top of the building."

"There's more, isn't there?"

"When I agreed, she told me to close my eyes.  As soon as I did, she embraced me, her touch was like ice, and then she kicked off from the top of the building.  She was much stronger than a normal woman, and she suddenly seemed to be holding me with more appendages than just two arms.  She propelled us farther than should have been possible from that one kick.  She had warned me that when I pierced Sin's watery shell, I would die.  If I could hold my spirit intact through the maelstrom, the fayth said that I could ride Sin back to Spira, and that they would pull me out when you passed your trial, and land me in Spira ahead of you.  Then, all I would have to do was survive in human form until we found each other.  For almost three months I rode Sin in the belly of a beast.  A coeurl.  I saw once, through its eyes, its reflection in the Sea of Sorrows.  It had turned black, with crimson whiskers.  Then I found myself here."

His face was white in the moonlight.  She was frightened now, afraid he would reject her, but it was too late to turn back, or to leave the story unfinished.

"Auron, I thought it was the only sure way.  I believed in your word a great deal more than I believed I could reach your Farplane on my own.  I took the other way that she offered me.  Love, I am like you now.  I am an unsent."

Anger, fear, awe roiled through him simultaneously.  He clasped her tightly in his arms, mostly to keep himself from shaking her until her teeth rattled.  If either of them had failed, her spirit would have been lost.  

"Why did the fayth do this for you?" he finally asked.

_He could be so infuriating!_  _Couldn't he see?_  As she looked into his face her expression held both affection, and exasperation, as she said, "Love, they didn't do this for me.  They did it for you."

End Chapter fifteen


	17. Miracles

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The title of this chapter is from a song written by Marty Balin and performed by Jefferson Starship.  I never remember this song by the title, only by the first lines, which are:  "If only you believe like I believe, we'll get by.  If only you believe in miracles, so will I."******

"I do not understand.  Why would the fayth do this?"  Auron was clearly puzzled by her answer.

"I asked her that.  Shiva.  She told me that when you were here ten years ago, you were the first person to ever suggest that there might be another way.  You, and Jecht.  The fayth watched you; she said they watch in the Dome.  The fayth are tired.  They want the dreaming to end.  For the first time in a thousand years, you gave them hope that there might be a way.  Then, when you kept your promise to Jecht and went to the dream city, they saw that you would keep your word…that you would really try to find another way, even if you didn't succeed.  They wanted to do something for you, if they could.  For both of you really, but they can't help Jecht as long as he is Sin.  They thought they could help you.  So, when you came to the dream Zanarkand, they watched you carefully, and tried to figure out what they could do for you."  She stopped speaking for a moment, then her expression turned slightly self-mocking.  "Apparently, they decided that I might be the answer to your prayers, even if you didn't know it."  She couldn't help but laugh, even if part of the joke was on her.  She raised her hand to caress his face, to trace his lips with her fingers.  He kissed her palm.  They held each other close, reading each other's expressions by the light of the moon, and the stars.

"I didn't know, but you were," he said quietly.  "I was not…praying at all.  I had no such intentions."  He paused, then continued.  "Did the fayth say why they chose you?"

"Of course I asked.  You know how curious I am.  But Shiva just smiled mysteriously and said that they thought we would suit each other, and that events had proved them right.  But I think…" she stopped.

"What do you think?" he asked cautiously.

"I think that maybe it had something to do with the fact that I would be predisposed to believe you, since my parents had been killed by your Sin, or because, in my own way, I was as wounded inside as you were, so I wasn't looking either, or because they thought I would be strong-minded enough to make this little…journey of theirs, if we made it this far, or maybe, just maybe, they figured that I was stubborn enough to put up with you!"  She was laughing softly as the expression on his face changed from seriousness to outrage.  Then his lips quirked up in an answering smile of his own, and he started to chuckle, too.  She loved the rumbling feel of it, deep in his chest as he pressed her body against his.

He drew his head back to look at her again.  There was still one more thing he needed to know.  "Why did they make it so difficult?  Why all the trials?  Was there no other way?"

"I didn't have time to ask her that.  The storm was right there.  I thought that you would know.  Isn't that how the fayth work?  I mean here, in Spira.  Didn't you tell me that there was always a Chamber of Trials or a Cloister of Trials or something like that?"

"Yes."

"Even the ones that don't, like Yojimbo and the Magus Sisters.  You told me that with Yojimbo, the better you answer his questions, the less you have to pay him, and finding and fighting your way through the Cavern where he is hidden isn't exactly a walk in the park, either.  That's the trial, isn't it?

"One could say that."

"Isn't there a summoner that has to be defeated, several times, and a lost temple that has to be found, to get the Sisters?  There is a trial, there, too, it just isn't a traditional one."

"Go on."

"I think that the tests they made us go through, maybe partly it was just that people don't value things that come too easily, maybe partly they wanted to see if we were ready, and mostly because they just don't know how to work any other way.  I don't know if they can give anyone anything for free, not even if they want to.  So they didn't."

"I see your point," he finally said.  He was not certain he agreed with her, not fully, but he did appreciate her reasoning.

But not nearly as much as he appreciated the feel of her fingers running down his back, or her breasts against his chest, her hips cradling him.  Her eyes met his, and her lips curved up in a very wicked smile.  She threw her leg over his hip, and he let her roll him onto his back.  As she rose above him in the moonlight, she whispered, "I just thought of something.  I bet I don't need any more sleep than you do, now."  His answering grin held equal delight, as she lowered herself onto him.

Much later, they lay together in a tumbled heap of blankets.  Her head was pillowed in the hollow of his shoulder, as he held her pressed against his side.  She spoke sleepily, almost as though she were speaking her thoughts aloud.  "For whatever reason, in whatever method or manner they chose to make this possible, the fayth gave us a great gift.  Whatever we do, whatever happens, we shouldn't waste it."  As he drifted into the first peaceful sleep he had known since they had been apart, he was certain that she was right.  _A gift of the fayth.  One he did not deserve, but no longer had the will to refuse.  Even he was not that big a fool.  He loved her far too much to let her go, especially not while she slept in his arms_.

She didn't need any more sleep than he did, which was all for the best, as they actually slept little.  They woke in the pre-dawn dimness, spooned close out of a need to reassure themselves, or each other, even in sleep, that they were truly together.  A second gift, as precious as the first.  Possibly more, as now they knew what they had found, what they would have lost.

Mercy had a lot of memories of mornings like this, all good ones.  She didn't want to get up, but thought they probably ought to.  "Shouldn't we be getting up about now?" she murmured, as she cuddled closer, her actions in direct conflict with her words.  His breath was warm against her neck as he replied with a husky note to his voice, "Lady, I am up."  She could hear the smile in his voice, as his lips trailed along her shoulder.  His arousal was obvious.  She pressed her derriere firmly against the…obvious, and wound her arm back around his neck, tilting her head to kiss him.  "Do we have time?" she asked.  

Auron knew they didn't really have time, but they would be going into battle today, either with Sin, or maybe, if Yuna chose correctly, with Yunalesca.  One, or both of them, might not survive.  No one knew what the Farplane was like for those who were sent.  There might not be another chance.    _This time, Tidus could cover for him_, he thought with some amusement.  

He didn't answer her; he just turned her onto her back with practiced hands, and slid inside her with one smooth motion.  Her legs clasped around his waist.  They brought the dawn.

Later, as they packed up their little camp, Mercy watched him don what she was already beginning to think of as his impassive 'Sir Auron' mask, along with his armor.  She did not care for it, but understood that it was necessary for him.  It all depended on Yuna now.  If she chose the traditional path, this would not matter.  Auron would not interfere, neither would she.  Or the fayths.  If Yuna found a new road, there would be other possibilities.  For all of them, but for Spira, most of all.

Back at the main camp, Yuna announced, "I wish to make Lady Mercy one of my guardians."

Tidus jumped on the idea.  "That's way cool.  I can't wait until you ask her."

Lulu was sarcastic.  "I'm not certain that is a good idea.  She has already proven to be a…distraction for Sir Auron.  He is rather late this morning.  He may feel the need to protect her, rather than his summoner.  What then?"

"But Lu, what are we supposed to do, just leave her here?"  Wakka couldn't believe that even Lulu could be that cold.

Tidus was dismissive.  "Don't worry, no one will have to protect Mercy.  She can protect herself.  No problem.  She's been here the whole time we've been journeying, remember?"

Lulu countered, "Then it shouldn't be a problem to leave her here while we visit Lady Yunalesca.  There is no need to make her a guardian."

Rikku turned on Lulu, "That's so unfair.  You think he's going to leave her out here and not be distracted, worrying about her?"

"That is enough."  Yuna's words dropped into the sudden silence.  "It is my decision, and it is what I wish.  It is…the right thing to do.  For Sir Auron."

Kimahri's sharp hearing caught the sounds before the others.  "They return."

They had stopped, just before they became visible around the side of the hill.  "Mercy," he whispered, low, urgent, and caught her hand.  She turned her face to meet his.  His mask had dropped, and she saw his love for her written clearly across his features.  Her expression softened, as he brought her close for one last, hard kiss.  "My lady, I love you."

"I love you, too," she replied, her hand on his cheek.  "I love you, too."

He released her, and she saw his mask slip back into place.  They walked around the final bend, and faced the rest of the party, waiting expectantly for their arrival.

Yuna stepped forward, and bowed respectfully to Mercy.  "Lady Mercy, I would like to request that you become one of my guardians.  Do you accept?"  The younger woman stood, her hands twisted together in a way that betrayed her nervous anticipation.

"Yuna, I would be honored to accept, but I have one condition."

"Anything you wish," the younger woman said anxiously.

"Please, just call me Mercy, all of you.  I have never claimed to be a lady."  She caught her husband's eye as she made this statement, and saw a smile in his eye, if not on his face.  _Masks have holes_, she thought to herself.

"We will," Yuna promised.

"Then I accept," Mercy responded, and took the younger woman's hands in hers.  "I promise I will guard you faithfully, and well."  The two women solemnly looked into each other's eyes for a long moment, the shaky beginnings of a bond forming between them.

Everyone else had already eaten; so Mercy and Auron were forced to grab something they could consume on the road.  _Trail rations, again_, Mercy noted disparagingly, as she ate.  The first fiends they encountered were Ahrimans and Grendels, not serious challenges, although Mercy proved that she was as adept with her swords as any of the other fighters in the party were with their particular weapons.  When the first Behemoth challenged them, Tidus thought it was time to let Lulu see Mercy fight with Auron alone.  

Whatever Lulu's objections, one demonstration would take care of quite a few, he thought.  He'd watched once, when he was a kid, from outside the windows of Auron's dojo, when one of Auron's classes had gotten out of hand.  It had been a class of seniors, 17 and 18 year olds, big guys, some Auron's size, and it was spring and they didn't want to be there.  More than a dozen of them, and they decided to all take him on at once.  Mercy was in the room, warming up, she just watched, he remembered, until one student got the bright idea to get on a bench and pull one of the swords off the wall.  Mercy tackled that one and brought him down.  Some of his buddies went after her, and there was no help for it, after that.  She and Auron had fought towards each other, and then back-to-back, covering for each other, until the class was on the floor.  She said later that she would have stayed out of it, until that idiot went for the blade.  Once one did, the rest would, then Auron would have had to, then there would probably have been blood on the floor, and Auron would have been held responsible.  

Tidus told the others to, "Just watch," as the two older guardians faced the Behemoth.  Yuna took up a position where she could heal them, if necessary, but Tidus didn't think the Behemoth was going to get much of a chance.  

They had fought like this so often, that they didn't even need to look to know where the other was.  They had complete trust in each other, to the point where Auron trusted Mercy to cover his blind side in a fight without question or hesitation.  He knew she would be where he needed her to be, and she knew the same about him.  The Behemoth got in one swipe, but Mercy dodged, and it didn't last long enough for a second try.  The others watched in admiration, or, on Lulu's part, silence.

The party had to fight their way through the ruined streets of what had once been Zanarkand.  When they stopped for a moment to rest, they looked into the distance.  Many, many pyreflies were gathered.  Wakka commented, "Looks like the Farplane."

Auron replied laconically, "Close enough."

When they finally reached the entrance to what had once been the Blitzball stadium, an old man in priestly robes greeted them.  "Journeyer of the long road, name yourself."

"I am the summoner Yuna. I have come from the island of Besaid," Yuna replied.

The old man approached Yuna closely.  "Your eyes, my dear. Show me the long road you have traveled…Very good…You have journeyed well…Lady Yunalesca will surely welcome your arrival…Go to her now, and bring your guardians with you. Go."

They entered the Dome, and saw the shades of two young women, Lady Yocun, and her guardian.  Auron finally revealed that because the dome was filled with pyreflies, it was like one gigantic sphere.  "People's thoughts remain here. Forever," he said.  Mercy knew that meant that his thoughts were here; she would see when he was here before.  _They would all see._

They were overtaken by the ghostly figures of three men running past them.  Mercy recognized Jecht first; his face and form had been splashed over too many sphere screens for too many years in her Zanarkand.  That meant that the gentle-faced man with the odd headdress was Braska, and Auron…had been very young, ten years ago.  _And more unsure of himself than he had probably been willing to reveal to his companions_.

As they traversed the corridor leading to the Trials, they explored the niches along the corridor.  In one, they discovered what appeared to be the shards of two swords, or at least, two hilts, two tangs, and the remains of two broken weapons.  Mercy wasn't quite sure why, but she scooped up the remains of the old blades and added them to her pack.  Then they faced the Trials, as Braska and his guardians had ten years previously, and passed through.  Instead of reaching the chamber of the fayth, they were met by a battle with a fearsome monster, one who guarded the passage to the fayth.  Only by defeating the spectral keeper was Yuna able to reach the Chamber of the Fayth.  She descended to the Chamber, and returned immediately.  Jecht's ghost shouted, "What do you mean, no Final Aeon?" as Yuna hurried them all onto the platform to descend with her to the Chamber.

Yuna knelt at the base of the statue, examining it carefully.  The others arrayed themselves around the edge, watching her.  "This isn't a fayth," she pronounced at last.  "It's just an empty statue."

The old priest appeared behind Yuna.

"That statue lost its power as a fayth long ago," he intoned.  "It is Lord Zaon, the first fayth of the Final Summoning.  What you see before you is all that remains of him.  Lord Zaon is... his soul is gone."

Wakka was incredulous.  "Gone!?" he cried.

Rikku was even more disbelieving.  "You mean, there is no Final Aeon?"

The old priest responded placidly to their outbursts, "But fear not.  Lady Yunalesca will show you the path.  The Final Aeon will be yours.  The summoner and the Final Aeon will join powers.  Go to her now.  Inside, the lady awaits."

He performed the prayer gesture, then vanished in a cloud of pyreflies. Yuna walked toward where the wall used to be, to the barrier of blue energy that had appeared in its place.

Tidus called out, "Yuna, wait!" then he turned to the older man.  "Auron, you knew this was going to happen, didn't you?" 

Auron replied, "Yes." 

Rikku burst out, "Why didn't you tell us!?" 

Auron was as impassive as ever.  "If I had told you the truth, would that really have stopped you from coming?" 

Kimahri addressed himself to Yuna's back, as she had already turned toward the shining doorway.  He just said her name, nothing more.

Yuna responded to what she perceived as an unspoken question.  "I'm not going back." 

Kimahri knew his summoner too well.  "Kimahri knows.  Kimahri goes first. Yuna is safe. Kimahri protect."  _Auron chose well_, Mercy thought, _Kimahri loves her as if she were his own daughter_.

Mercy looked on as the scene unfolded.  They all trusted Auron, and now they seemed to feel that he had betrayed that trust.  But she knew he had been right.  They would still have come.  She watched in silence as Kimahri walked through the blue doorway first, followed by Yuna, then Auron.  Mercy followed her husband, and heard the others' footsteps behind her.

The party entered a large chamber, and found themselves facing a grand staircase.  Auron and Mercy remained near the exit, while the others moved forward, Yuna leading, Kimahri faithfully guarding her.  An amazingly regal looking woman, considering how little she was wearing, emerged at the top of the stairs.  "Lady Yunalesca," Yuna announced with reverence.

Yunalesca addressed herself to her namesake with the prayer gesture. "Welcome to Zanarkand.  I congratulate you, summoner. You have completed your pilgrimage.  I will now bestow you with that which you seek.  The Final Summoning...will be yours.  Now, choose."  She walked down the stairs, and swept her arm out in a gesture to indicate the members of Yuna's party.  "You must choose the one whom I will change...to become the fayth of the Final Summoning." The entire party gasped in complete astonishment, except Auron and Mercy, standing silently together in the back of the room.

Yunalesca continued, undeterred by the brief interruption.  "There must be a bond, between chosen and summoner, for that is what the Final Summoning embodies: the bond between husband and wife, mother and child, or between friends.  If that bond is strong enough, its light will conquer Sin.  A thousand years ago, I chose my husband Zaon as my fayth.  Our bond was true, and I obtained the Final Aeon."  Yunalesca went on, a note of pity in her voice.  "There is nothing to fear.  You will soon be freed of worry and pain.  For once you call forth the Final Aeon, your life will end.  Death is the ultimate and final liberation.  Your father, Braska, chose this path."

As the lady walked away, she was replaced by the images of Braska, Jecht, and the young Auron, and the party watched the three men discuss the same decision that they now faced.  Mercy looked at the replay of their memory in pain and in wonder.  _It was the beginning of it all_, she thought.  _Because of this, and what came after, we are all standing here now.  Braska's daughter, and her friends, Jecht's son, Auron, and I.  Because of this_.

"It is not too late! Let us turn back!" the young Auron cried.

"If I turn back, who will defeat Sin?  Would you have some other summoner and his guardians go through this?" Braska asked patiently.

"But...my lord, there must be another way!"  Auron had been pleading.

Jecht broke in, his voice a combination of resignation and conviction.  "This is the only way we got now!  Fine.  Make me the fayth.  I been doing some thinking.  My dream is back in the other Zanarkand.  I wanted to make that runt into a star blitz player.  Show him the view from the top, you know.  But now I know there's no way home for me.  I'm never going to see him again. My dream's never gonna come true.  So make me the fayth.  I'll fight Sin with you, Braska.  Then maybe my life will have meaning, you know."

Auron still pleading, now turned to the other man, "Don't do this, Jecht!  If you live...there may be another way! We'll think of something, I know!" 

Jecht's voice held only conviction now.  "Believe me, I thought this through.  Besides...I ain't gettin' any younger, so I might as well make myself useful." 

Braska walked up to face the blitzer, and just said his name.

"What! You're not gonna try to stop me, too?" Jecht replied, in his usual brash tones.

"Sorry. I mean...thank you." Braska said quietly, overcome with gratitude.  

Jecht briefly placed his hands on Braska's shoulders in a gesture of solidarity, or possibly, reassurance.  Then he turned to Auron.  "Braska still has to fight Sin, Auron.  Guard him well. Make sure he gets there."  He turned back to Braska.  "Well, let's go."  And Braska and Jecht began to walk away.

Auron tried one last time, "Lord Braska! Jecht!" 

Jecht answered impatiently, "What do you want now?" 

Auron practically shouted his final argument.  "Sin always comes back.  It comes back after the Calm every time!  The cycle will continue and your deaths will mean nothing!"

Braska responded in his usual patient manner.  "But there's always a chance it won't come back this time.  It's worth trying." 

Jecht sounded so sure of himself.  "I understand what you're saying, Auron.  I'll find a way to break the cycle." 

Auron wanted to believe so badly; it was plain on his face.  "You have a plan?" 

"Jecht?"  Braska asked.

But Jecht was just being cocky.  "Trust me, I'll think of something."  Then he laughed.

Auron's ghost fell to his knees in grief, and despair.  Mercy felt the man beside her stir, and tried to catch his arm as he moved, but was unable to stop him.  She watched as he tried to expiate his guilt and his pain, by slicing at the ghostly figure of his younger self.

Yunalesca had spoken of bonds, Mercy reflected.  They were bound, the ten of them, those present to those in the past who had brought them here.  Braska; whose love for his wife and desire for revenge had outweighed his love for his daughter, who had ultimately set them all on this road, and whose love for Spira had made him take his last, fateful step.  Jecht; whose love for Braska had caused him to sacrifice himself for his friend's beliefs, whose faith in his own infallibility led him to think he could find a solution to Spira's dance of death from within, whose love for his son sent Auron back to her, and which may have allowed that solution to be found by bringing his son to this place.  Yuna; who became a summoner out of love for the people of Spira, and for her father, but whose love for Tidus had caused her to question the truths she had accepted all her life, who might ask the last, crucial question.  Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri, Rikku; all here out of love for Yuna, all save Rikku offering to become the fayth, Wakka and Lulu in words, Kimahri in his ever eloquent silence.  Tidus; bound to the past and to the present.  He loved his father, and he hated him.  Who was to say which was the stronger bond?  He loved both her and Auron, as a sometimes-confused mixture of friends, mentors, and parents, but love them, he did.  Most of all, now, he loved Yuna, and he wanted her to live, even if he knew the price he would pay.  Mercy knew that as much as she loved Tidus, the boy she had helped raise, she was here because of her love for Auron, and his for her.  She had faced death to be with him, and given the choice, she would do so again.  But what of him?  He was the only one to stand here both times.  He was bound to them all.  His love for Braska, Jecht, Tidus, Yuna, herself.  Respect certainly for Kimahri.  He would never admit it, but a parental, or at least brotherly concern for Wakka and Rikku.  As for Lulu, well, best not to go there.  His sworn word as a fellow guardian, at least.  Mercy thought the fayth were hoping that those bonds would prove strong enough to help light the way to a new path, so that they could rest.

She walked the length of the chamber, to Auron's side.  She wished there was some comfort she could offer him, but this pain was too old and too deep, and this scene was too public.  She could only stand beside him, and cover his right side in any battle they might face.

Mercy caught Auron's eye, and he shook his head minutely.  This was not the time, not yet.  It was still the others' decision.  Yuna's decision.  Mercy knew they should break the cycle.  Not just for Yuna's sake, but for all of Spira's.  But this was not her world.  She could only speak after the choice had been made.  When the decision was made to ask Yunalesca, Mercy began to hope.  She and Auron exchanged a glance as they went last through the door at the top of the stairs, and one word.  "Maybe."

The stairs led them to a stone platform containing a large stone circle, under the night sky and the stars.  Yunalesca appeared opposite them on the platform.  

"Have you chosen the one to become your fayth?"  Yunalesca asked eagerly.  "Who will it be?"

"Might I ask something first?" Yuna questioned her in return.  "Will Sin come back, even should I use the Final Summoning to defeat it?"

Yunalesca spoke as she would to a child.  "Sin is eternal.  Every aeon that defeats it becomes Sin in its place.  And thus is Sin reborn."

Tidus muttered under his breath, "So that's why Jecht became Sin."

Yunalesca continued, "Sin is an inevitable part of Spira's destiny.  It is never ending."

Wakka burst out, "Never ending?  But…but…if we atone for our crimes, Sin will stop coming back, ya?  Someday, it'll be gone, ya?"

_Poor Wakka_, Mercy thought.  _He was a true believer.  Would it crush him, or make him stronger?  She only knew Braska from Auron's memories, and his daughter not at all, but if Yuna had any of her father in her, then all of her guardians would rise to the occasion.  _Mercy crossed her fingers behind her back.

"Will humanity ever attain such purity?" Yunalesca asked, more than a hint of condescension in her tone.

Lulu strode forward in righteous indignation.  "This…this cannot be!  The teachings state that we can exorcise Sin with complete atonement!  It's been our only hope all these years!"

_So Lulu's cool exterior concealed a believer as well_, Mercy noted in surprise.  

"Hope is…comforting.  It allows us to accept fate, however tragic it might be."  Yunalesca continued to treat them as though they were children.

Two young, male voices cried, "No!" simultaneously, Tidus' and Auron's, ten years ago, both rushing forward, swords drawn.  They all watched as Auron's earlier incarnation confronted Yunalesca alone.  Mercy braced herself for what she knew was coming.

In his rage, and his grief, the younger Auron shouted, "Where is the sense in all this?  Braska believed in Yevon's teachings and died for them!  Jecht believed in Braska and gave his life for him!"

In the past, Yunalesca replied patiently, "They chose to die…because they had hope."

The ghostly Auron charged at her, and she hit him with a powerful blast.  He went flying backwards through the air and landed, silently, his sword stabbing the ground.  

Mercy winced in pained empathy.  It tore her up inside, watching him fall.  But seeing it, she was astounded that he had survived long enough to crawl over the mountain to meet Kimahri.

In the present, Yunalesca began the lesson again, as she advanced the last few steps to confront them.  "Yevon's teachings and the Final Summoning give the people of Spira hope.  Without hope, they would drown in their sorrow.  Now, choose.  Who will be your fayth?  Who will be the one to renew Spira's hope?"

In the silence, Mercy found herself wishing that she believed in some kind of a Supreme Being, so that she could pray right now.  She didn't, so she would have to settle for hope.  She hoped, with all her heart, that Yuna would make the right choice, the hard choice, the choice that Spira really needed.  At Yuna's first words, her soul lifted.

Yuna's words rang in the quiet.  "I choose…no one.  I would have gladly died.  I live for the people of Spira, and would have gladly died for them.  But no more!  The Final Summoning…is a false tradition that should be thrown away."

Yunalesca was appalled.  "No.  It is our only hope.  Your father sacrificed himself to give that hope to the people.  So they would forget sorrow."

"Wrong," Yuna began, her head bowed.  "My father," her voice gained strength, and she raised her head to face the lady, "My father wanted…to make Spira's sorrow go away, not just cover it up with lies!"

Yunalesca tried to regain the upper hand.  "Sorrow cannot be abolished.  It is meaningless to try."

Yuna refused to yield.  "My father…I loved him.  So I…I will live with my sorrow, I will live my own life!  I will defeat sorrow, in his place.  I will stand my ground and be strong.  I don't know when it will be but someday, I will conquer it.  And I will do it without…false hope."

Mercy's heart filled with wonder.  _I'm not sure Tidus deserves her.  But I think her father…would be very proud of her._

Yunalesca's voice was filled with pity.  "Poor creature.  You would throw away hope.  Well…I will free you before you can drown in your sorrow.  It is better for you to die in hope than to live in despair.  Let me be your liberator."

Lady Yunalesca revealed her true form at last.  She would fight them to keep the secret of the Final Summoning.  She would fight them as a fiend.

Auron shouted  "Now! This is it!  Now is the time to choose!  Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow!  Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!

They each assumed a battle stance.  The sound of swords drawing from scabbards filled the air.  

Kimahri addressed Yuna, "Yuna needs Kimahri. Kimahri protect Yuna." 

Rikku spoke to no one in particular, "Well, I'm fighting!" 

Wakka said to Lulu, "I can't believe we're gonna fight Lady Yunalesca! Gimme a break!" 

Lulu responded wryly, "You can always run." 

Wakka replied, "Hah!  I'd never forgive myself--no way! Not if I ran away now.  Even in death, ya!" 

Lulu smiled at him.  "My thoughts exactly." 

Mercy looked over at Auron, and said quietly, so that only he could hear, "That was quite a speech, coming from you.  But I don't think our own story is done just yet, either."  

She only heard a short "Hmph" in response, but she saw the corner of his mouth turn up, just a little.

Tidus called out, "Yuna!  This is our story! Now let's see this thing through together!"  Yuna nodded to him in reply.

The fight was long, nasty, and brutal.  Yunalesca fought as a particularly hellacious fiend, not just cursing them, but also requiring them to be zombies to escape being killed, then healing them while they were zombies in order to wound them more grievously.  In the end, they did conquer her, no matter how many forms she changed into, or how many spells she cast.  United, they were too strong for her.  In defeat, she tried one last time to convince them that the Final Aeon was Spira's only hope, but Tidus assured her that they could find Spira a new hope.  As a parting shot, the witch left them a clue regarding Yu Yevon the immortal.  Now as Tidus so succinctly put it, they just had to "Destroy Sin, so it won't come back, and without the Final Aeon."  Except, of course, he didn't know how.  None of them did.  Mercy just knew that this was the path the fayth wanted them to take.  And her research had told her that this was the path Spira needed them to take.

Before they left the scene of Yunalesca's defeat they found another one of those strange crests.  They still had no idea what the things were for, although they had acquired several.  After they moved back into the room with the grand staircase everyone else kept going, back outside the Dome, but Auron motioned Tidus to remain behind.  Mercy decided to stay unless Auron asked her to leave.  She thought she knew what was coming.  She remembered the scene upstairs.  She would have known that was a deathblow, just by watching it.  Tidus probably guessed by now.  _Better to tell him_, she reasoned.  

"There is something you should know." Auron said to the young man.

"I know...it's about you, right?" Tidus replied

"I am also an unsent.  "You are not surprised?" 

"I think I kinda knew.  It was Yunalesca, wasn't it?" 

Auron forced the words out.  "When Braska and Jecht died defeating Sin...I just couldn't accept it.  I came back here...tried to avenge them.  But she struck me down.  Somehow I made my way, crawling, down Mount Gagazet.  But my strength left me just outside Bevelle. That's where Kimahri found me.  I told him about Yuna... just before I died.  I've been wandering ever since, never going to the Farplane.

Tidus flinched in memory of the encounter he had witnessed. "Auron..."

"Don't make that face. Being dead has its advantages." Auron smiled at Mercy, standing next to Tidus now.  No masks were necessary when the three of them were alone together.  "I was able to ride Sin and go to your Zanarkand." 

"And you've been watching over me since then, haven't you?  Why?" he demanded. "What's the big idea? Why me?" 

"It is one of those things that is difficult to explain.  Very well, I will show you," Auron replied in resignation, then he walked to the center of the chamber.  "My memories," he stated, and knelt with his back to them.  As pyreflies escaped from his body, Tidus and Mercy saw Jecht and Braska in the same room, through his eyes, ten years ago

Jecht seemed almost embarrassed as he asked, "Can I ask you one last favor?  Uh...Nah. Never mind." 

"Out with it!" Auron demanded impatiently.

Jecht responded with more of his old confidence.  "Okay. Listen good.  Take care of my son.  My son, in Zanarkand. He's such a crybaby.  He needs someone there to hold his hand, see?  Take care of him, will you?" 

Auron was incredulous.  "But how am I supposed to go to Zanarkand?" 

Jecht threw Auron's words back at him with a barking laugh.  "Hey! You said it yourself!  There must be a way to get there, right? You'll find it." 

"All right, I will!  I give you my word.  I'll take care of your son. I'll guard him with my life."  Auron gave Jecht his word.  He would keep it, no matter what.

Jecht was serious for just a moment.  "Thanks, Auron."  But he returned to his usual mocking tones almost instantly.  "You were always such a stiff, but that's what I liked about ya." 

Mercy looked from one to the other.  _He gave his word, and he kept it, with no idea what in the hell he was letting himself in for.  And here we are.  Now that we've just thrown all their "teachings" out the window, I wonder what happens next?_

They left the Dome together, only to find Sin waiting outside, staring at Tidus, and keening.  Tidus stared back, intently, as though he were communing with it, somehow.

Sin turned, and ambled off into the path of the setting sun. As they all watched, the Airship passed beside Sin, then floated over the party, and began to lower itself.  Mercy turned to Rikku.  "Is that your Dad's airship?"  

"Yup!"

"I haven't had a hot bath in ages.  Please tell me…"

"You bet!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Mercy exclaimed.  They looked at each other.  They had met Yunalesca, and they were all, all, still alive.  Whatever was going to come, they would face it, together.  Tidus reached for Yuna's hand.  Auron and Mercy just stared into each other's faces.  This was borrowed time, but it was still sweet.  Rikku looked at everyone.  They were all dirty, grimy, bruised and sweat-stained.  She wrinkled her nose, then sniffed.  "Phew, we could all sure use a bath."  She started to giggle.  Lulu immediately said, "Speak for yourself," in her usual, cool tones.  Wakka, less sure of himself, tried to sniff discreetly at his armpits, a completely impossible task.  Lulu slapped his arm down in disgust.  Tidus started laughing.  Auron snorted, "Hmph," at no one in particular, but then realized that he agreed completely with the young Al Bhed, he wanted to wash the dust of this place off as quickly as possible.  He began to chuckle softly.  After the strain and tension of the last few hours, one by one, they all burst into gales of relieved laughter, as the airship claimed them.

End chapter sixteen


	18. Games People Play

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The title of this chapter is from a song performed by the Alan Parsons Project.  The first lines are "Where do we go from here, now that all the other children have grown up, and how do we spend our time, knowing nobody gives us a damn."******

Aboard the airship, everyone stood on the bridge except Kimahri.  He seemed to have already found a place inside the ship.  Now that they had veered off the traditional path, no one seemed to know where to head next.  The ship was moving, but the party had lost its way.

Auron tried to elicit a direction from Tidus, but the young man turned the tables on him, getting Auron to provide the opening clue. "What do we know?  Sin is Jecht.  Thus, you have a link, a bond with Sin.  That may be our key." 

"So what do we do?" Tidus asked, trying to get him to keep going.

Auron turned away from the group, and began to walk away.  As he left, he almost threw the words over his shoulder.  "We think, and we wait."

"Two things I'm bad at," Tidus muttered, half under his breath.

Mercy thought, you got that right, then watched in complete puzzlement as Auron faced Yuna for a moment, and then left the bridge completely, almost as though he were ceding the field.  What the hell?

Yuna walked up to the captain of the airship, and bowed to him respectfully.  By the time she had risen, he had turned his back on her!  Yuna walked away, and off the bridge.  Mercy's mind was racing.  Wasn't the captain Yuna's uncle?  Why did he treat her that way?  Where had Auron gone, and more important, why?  Mercy left the bridge in search of him, and found him in the corridor just on the other side of the door, leaning against the wall.  Companionably, she leaned on the wall next to him, her shoulder brushing his.

"Would you like to tell me why you left so abruptly?"

"No," he said shortly.

"Do it anyway," she responded equably.

Just then, Tidus came through the door, and exchanged a few words with Auron, giving him a chance to examine his options.  Not that he actually had any.  Mercy was the one person who could demand an explanation from him...and expect to receive one.

After Tidus left the hallway, Mercy found herself studying Auron's profile, while he looked at his boots.  

"Well," she prompted, pressing her shoulder into his for emphasis.

"When we were aboard this ship earlier, the Captain and I discussed Yuna's pilgrimage.  The Al Bhed oppose the pilgrimages on principle, and Yuna is Cid's niece, so he was also opposed on a personal level.  He planned to stop her from journeying, against her will if necessary.  We...disagreed."  He still seemed to find his boots rather fascinating.

"Where was Yuna when this discussion was taking place?" Mercy asked.

"She was in Bevelle, being forced to marry Seymour at gunpoint.  We were on our way to rescue her."

"So you two...gentlemen...were planning to decide her fate, not only in her absence, but at a point where neither of you was in any position to carry out whatever...decision...you reached?"  She rolled her eyes up to the heavens in exasperation.

"Yes."

Mercy just shook her head.  Auron thought he heard her say something to herself, but he wasn't sure.  She seemed to be repeating the word, "Men," over and over, in an extremely uncomplimentary tone.  It also sounded like she was cursing, very softly, and with a lot of feeling.

Tidus returned, saying, "Guys, I've got it, you have to come back to the bridge so I can tell everyone," then he passed through the door.  Auron looked at Mercy.  "You'd better see what's going on.  I'm not exactly...welcome...on the bridge," he admitted with a slight smile.  She wasn't completely able to suppress an answering smile, before she turned to follow Tidus onto the airship's bridge.

Rikku, Wakka and Lulu were still jockeying for position, all eager to tell Tidus something.  Lulu achieved ascendancy as the door closed behind Mercy.

"The hymn is the key," Lulu announced.  Wakka moaned behind her.  Clearly he had wanted to be the one to say it.

Tidus was obviously not getting it, so she continued.  "Sir Jecht likes the Hymn of the Fayth, correct?"

"Yeah," Tidus agreed, but clearly, he was still puzzled.

"That's why he was listening to it in Macalania!" Rikku chimed in.

"Sin...violence incarnate, listening peacefully," Lulu continued her explanation.

"I know it's your old man, and I don't mean no disrespect, but..." Wakka broke in

"No, it's fine.  I've gotten used to it."  Tidus didn't mind Wakka's comment, but he was still struggling to understand what they were all trying to tell him.

Lulu saw his confusion, and tried another way, hopefully without interruptions. "Let me say it.  If we attack Sin head-on, we've little chance of winning.  However, if he hears the Hymn of the Fayth, he will become docile." 

She almost succeeded, but she managed to get far enough, before Wakka broke in again enthusiastically.  "Yeah, and that's when we make our move!  Might be against the rules and all, but who's keeping track, ya?  Ya?

Rikku, too, "Yeah! It could really work!" 

Tidus finally understood.  "Yeah... Yeah, it's worth a try!  But first, we need to go to Bevelle to 'talk' to Mika." The expression on his face owed a lot to some of Kimahri's more feral expressions.

Lulu immediately asked, "Why?"

"We need to know more about this Yu Yevon character that Yunalesca mentioned.  Kimahri thinks that Mika probably knows a lot.  We just need to make him talk.  It was Kimahri's idea, but I think it's a good one.  I think we should go to Bevelle," Tidus looked at the rest of them expectantly, waiting for their answers.

Everyone nodded, so the ship's course was set for Bevelle.  Mercy spoke up, directing her question to Cid.  "Captain, how long until we reach our destination?"

"And just who might you be, little lady?" Cid barked at her from across the bridge.  Mercy advanced toward him, with her hand outstretched, a slight smile on her face.  She hoped that if she were polite, he wouldn't throw her off the bridge, along with Auron.  

"Cid, isn't it?" she said as she reached him, and offered him her hand to shake.  He did, but very quickly, not quite sure how to take her.  "My name is Mercy.  I'm Auron's wife."

"Little lady, you have got to be kidding."  This warm, smiling, clearly amused woman was married to that grim-faced bastard out in the hall?  _No way_.

"Frequently," Mercy laughed, in response to his comment about kidding, "but not about Auron.  We've been married for three years.  Ask Tidus.  He was a witness."  _What kind of reputation did Auron have here, anyway?_  _The kids think he's a hero, but Cid here isn't exactly impressed.  Not that the feeling wasn't mutual_.  "I'm sorry that you and Auron didn't exactly hit it off when he was aboard your ship the last time."

"Well…" Cid wasn't quite sure what to say to that remark.  He sure as hell wasn't going to apologize.

She thought that was about as far as she could go.  Auron certainly wasn't going to apologize, and she wasn't about to do it for him.  She was sorry they hadn't gotten along better when they met before.  She was sorry both men been prize idiots before, for that matter.  "Back to my earlier question.  How long to Bevelle?"

"I don't want to burn out the engines like we did last time.  What do you say we get there in the morning?"  His daughter looked like she could use a good night's sleep.  Come to think of it, they all did.  Thankful for the break, they all agreed.  Mercy scooted over to where Rikku had taken up a station on the bridge.  "Quarters?" she asked eagerly.  "Already on it" Rikku replied, then, "Deck 5, cabin C," to Mercy, "cabin with bath, I checked."  "I owe you one," Mercy said, as she left the bridge.

She found Auron in the corridor, still propping up the wall.  "Come with me," she beckoned.  

"Why?"

"The ship's taking us to Bevelle, but we won't get there until morning.  We've been assigned a cabin for the night.  I, for one, would like a hot bath, and a night's sleep in a real bed for a change."

That got his attention.  One corner of his mouth went up.  "Sleep?" he said, clearly questioning her intent.

She looked him over.  After five years, she still liked what she saw.  "Eventually," she promised.  "Let's go."

The cabin was somewhat austere, but it contained the necessities, a double bed, and a full bath with a shower, and, best of all, hot, running water.  She stripped off her dirty clothes in record time, and ran into the shower.  She wasn't surprised when he joined her a few minutes later.  It was felt so familiar to stand under the warm spray and wash each other's backs, and hold each other.  A little gentle exploration in the harsh light showed they each had some scars they hadn't had four months ago, and some new bruises, he could tell she was leaner than she had been in Zanarkand, she saw how deep the lines were on his face, but the changes were all superficial.  Inside, they were both still the same.  

He stepped out of the shower and started to shave, while she washed her hair for the third or fourth time.  Auron had lost count.  He was almost done shaving when she turned off the water and stood beside him, a towel secured over her breasts, brushing her wet hair into place.  Their eyes met in the mirror as he finished.  He suddenly recalled the time in the Calm Lands, when he had seen her, just this same way.  He closed his eye, and slowly, opened it.  She was still there.  Relief flooded through him.  He smiled lazily, then reached for her towel.

In the morning, after yet another shower, Auron took her to meet Rin.  She wanted to see if the Al Bhed merchant had any potions or equipment she could use.  He was delighted to meet her, but not surprised.  It appeared that the speed of gossip was a universal constant.  Auron seemed pleased to be the one with the money, this time around, since she only had what she'd been able to scrounge from the fiends she'd dispatched the last few weeks.  She stocked up on potions, but was having a difficult time improving her defensive capabilities.  Jewelry of the kind that Yuna or Lulu used would distract her.  Bracers or shields would get in the way of the throwing knives she had at her wrists.  The solution lay in the silver necklace she wore, a gift from Auron a couple of years ago.  Rin sold her stones that she could add to the chain, which would provide her with wards against some conditions.  It wasn't an ideal defensive strategy, but it would improve her chances.

---------------

They were nearly shot by the guards when they tried to enter the Palace of St. Bevelle.  Wakka, Tidus and Rikku were all ready to make a fight of it, when a simpering young woman came flying out of the palace and told them to stop.  From Mercy's perspective, it was difficult to tell who was more surprised to find out that the girl was the captain of the guards: the guards, the party, or the girl herself.  Auron's cynicism didn't help matters.  Still, she got them in to see Maester Mika without too much fuss.

Mika was nearly frantic.  "Why are you here? You must go and defeat Sin, quickly!  You have obtained the Final Aeon from Yunalesca, have you not?" 

"Well, we did meet her," Tidus began.

"We fought and defeated her," Yuna finished for him.

Mika was incredulous.  "What!" 

Auron spoke with steely resolve.  "Summoners and guardians will be sacrificed for the Final Summoning no more!" 

Mika cried out, "You have profaned and subverted a thousand-year-old tradition?  Fools! Infants! Do you realize what you've done?  You've taken away the only means of calming Sin!" 

Tidus tried to get the old maester to see the new path they were taking.  "Hey, maybe that's not the only way! We think we've got another." 

Mika shook his head.  "Why...Preposterous! There is no other way!" 

Auron snorted in disgust.  "The grand maester, running away?" 

Mika bowed his head.  "Spira has lost its only hope. Destruction is inevitable.  Yu Yevon's spiral of death will consume us all.  I have no desire to watch Spira die." 

Yuna stood firm.  "It won't die!" 

Mercy thought to herself, _you were watching Spira die, you old fool.  Now, maybe, it won't._

Tidus asked, "Who is this Yu Yevon guy?"

Lulu pressed Mika further, "Lady Yunalesca also mentioned him." 

And Rikku, "Wait, gramps! Who's Yu Yevon?" 

Mika paused, then spoke wearily.  "He who crafts the souls of the dead into unholy armor.  An armor called Sin.  Clad in it, Yu Yevon is invincible.  And the only thing that could have pierced that armor, you have destroyed!  Nothing can stop it now." 

The grand maester vanished in a cloud of pyreflies.

Wakka cursed at the empty air, "Disappear on us, will ya? Rotten son of a shoopuf!" 

When Shelinda returned, Auron convinced her that Mika had never been there, that they were still waiting for him.  She left in confusion.  

Tidus and Yuna turned, and spoke to something in the corner of the room.  No one else could see it, but Mercy thought she saw a shimmer of purple in the direction they were looking.  _Another fayth?_  When Yuna announced that she needed to go see the fayth, Mercy was certain that was what she had seen.  Auron's cryptic, "I see," made her wonder if he saw it as well, or just guessed.

The rest of them waited for Yuna and Tidus to return, in varying degrees of impatience.  When the group was reunited, Yuna looked troubled.  She kept glancing at Tidus, as though he had said or done something that disturbed her.  They made their way toward the exit, bumping into the new Guard Captain, Shelinda, again.  It seemed she couldn't find Maester Mika anywhere in the Palace.  They managed to enlist her aid in singing a lullaby to Sin, when the time came.  _But when would the time come?_ Mercy wondered.  _And what would they do to prepare for it?_

Aboard the airship, she asked, "Did you learn anything about Yu Yevon from the fayth?"

"Yeah!" Tidus began eagerly.

"I have an idea," Mercy interrupted.  "Why don't we find someplace where we can all sit down together and have lunch, and you can tell us, and we can plan our next move?"

Any mention of food immediately caught both Tidus' and Wakka's attention.  "Sounds good to me," Wakka responded enthusiastically.

Rikku thought lunch sounded pretty good, so she organized a room and food with surprising efficiency.  Tidus was still eating when Lulu inquired coolly, "What did you learn from the fayth?"

Yuna was the one who responded.  "The hymn will calm Sin, but it will not harm it.  We still must fight Sin, and then fight Yu Yevon.  The fayth said we must call them, that they will help us.  I promised that I would."

Tidus swallowed the last of his lunch and added, "The reason that Sin always came back before was that Yu Yevon was a summoner.  Whenever anyone used the Final Summoning to defeat Sin, he would just, well, kinda, take over their Final Aeon and use it to make a new Sin.  So he could keep going as long as summoners kept using the Final Summoning.  Forever."

Lulu just shook her head, her hair concealing her face.  Wakka held his head in his hands, crushed at this final betrayal.  

"There's something else," Mercy began hesitantly.  "I don't know what they might have told you about what I did in Zanarkand…" blank looks from everyone except Auron and Tidus, "Never mind.  I should have known better.  Anyway, I was a historian.  A little like, what was his name, oh yes, Maechen, I believe.  I'd love to have a long talk with him sometime..."

"No," Auron and Tidus exclaimed in unison.  "That would take days," Auron began.  "Weeks," Tidus continued.  "Maybe months," Auron shot back.

Tidus unwilling to let it go, looked at Auron.  "Maechen should thank us.  We just saved him from a fate worse than death.  She would grill him until he told her every story he ever heard, no matter how long it took."

Auron, completely deadpan, finished with, "No.  I believe we just saved us."

Yuna stared from one man to the other in astonishment.  She couldn't believe what she was hearing.  This was the furthest out of his shell that she had ever seen Sir Auron, and she was so happy for him.  She knew she had been right to invite Mercy to become one of her guardians.  Yuna was glad.  Wakka and Rikku followed the exchange with open mouths.  Lulu was appalled at the irreverent banter.

"Okay, okay, I give up," Mercy laughed, then she turned serious again.  "But I didn't just research history, I also studied why things were the way they were.  Causes and effects.  After Auron told me about the history of Spira, I tried to do some research, not about Sin, but about the other kinds of disasters that cause the type of destruction that Sin causes, and the results.  From everything Auron told me, I think Sin is killing Spira."

Lulu was skeptical.  "That is just not possible."

"Isn't it?" Auron replied grimly.  "How many people did we meet whose villages were wiped out by Sin?"  How many older villages' ruins did we see?"

The black mage was furious, but silent.  The answers were: too many, and, too many.

Mercy pressed on, "How many of us lost at least one parent because of Sin?"  They all nodded or bowed their heads.  Rikku was the lucky one in the group.  She was the only one who still had a parent living, really, since Mercy didn't think Tidus would count Jecht as alive, exactly.  But they all stared at Mercy in disbelief as she raised her hand with them.  "Sin killed my parents, too, I just didn't know what it was," Mercy told them.  "Did any of you know your grandparents?"  A chorus of mumbled negatives was the only reply she received.  She and Tidus were the only lucky ones in this category.  "In every generation, how many of the best and the brightest are lost fighting Sin?"  How many summoners and their guardians have died during their pilgrimages?  Your whole way of life has been a fight for survival against an enemy that could not be defeated.  You could not win.  I think you were losing ground with every generation that passed.  Eventually, you would have lost."

The silence stretched out for a long minutes, until Mercy broke it.  "So, are we ready yet to face Sin, and Yu Yevon, in battle?"  She looked at each member of the party in turn.  One by one, they shook their heads.  Some hung their heads, as though in shame at their unworthiness.  _That couldn't be allowed to continue_.  "Then what do we need to do to get ready?" she challenged.

Everyone looked up, and began to speak, slowly at first, then almost tripping over each other in their eagerness.  "Wait, wait," she had to shout over the din.  "One at a time, so we can all hear.  Yuna, you go first," she said, smiling at last.

"Well," Yuna began, "Maester Seymour's aeon.  I do not know where it can be found, but it was very powerful.  We should look for it, I think."

"There was a temple where I first landed in Spira," Tidus burst in.  "It was in the middle of the ocean, I bet we could find it with the airship.  Maybe the aeon is there.  The place was half underwater.  We should look there."

"Yes, we should look for Seymour's aeon," Auron said gravely.  "And there is another.  Belgemine guards the remaining aeons at Remiem.  The Magus Sisters.  You must challenge and defeat all her aeons to gain the Sisters."

Lulu decided it was her turn.  "There are more powerful spells I need to learn.  Flare, and Ultima, which require much study, and practice.  I require time to accumulate more power."

Wakka contributed, "The rest of us, fighters, should all be at the peak of our training.  You know what I mean, ya?"

"You're right, Wakka," Tidus agreed.  "Hey, maybe we should go back to see that old guy in the Calm Lands, the one running that Arena thing.  If we have to train, we might as well get something for our trouble.  You know, have a goal in mind.  Might make it more rewarding."

"Hey, didn't we hear a rumor that Lord Mi'ihen's old sword might still be around?" Tidus warmed to the subject.

"That'd be some sword," Wakka responded.

"Omega," Auron intoned.

"Who, or what, is Omega?" Tidus asked.

Lulu couldn't resist answering.  "Seven hundred years ago, a monk named Omega who defied the teachings was sentenced to a dungeon.  He became a fiend."

"The traitor Omega," Wakka added.

"His dungeon should be the final test of our readiness to face Sin.  If we can beat Omega, that should prove sufficient," Auron concluded.

"For all of us," Lulu added.

"There is one other thing we need to take care of, probably sooner rather than later," Mercy began again.

"What have we forgotten?" Yuna asked diffidently.

"What happens, if we fail?" Mercy asked the question that no one wanted to hear.

"We won't fail," Tidus protested hotly.

"Mercy's right.  We must plan for everything we can, even the things we do not want to happen," Auron cut in.

Mercy tried a gentler, more directed approach.  "Yuna, I think I know the answer, but please help me.  All the teachings direct summoners to pray at the temples for the aeons, then go to Zanarkand to meet Yunalesca to receive the Final Aeon, correct?"

"Yes."

Mercy continued, "But, because of what we did, Zanarkand is now a dead end."  Tidus snickered.  Auron snorted.  Mercy looked daggers at both of them, then said, "No pun intended."

Yuna was confused, but finally said, "That is right, the teachings now point to nowhere.  What should we do?"

"Is there another summoner that you trust?  Or, at least, someone whose word will be believed who will have an open mind?" Mercy asked her.

"That lets Dona out," came the sarcastic comment from Tidus.  "You got that right," Wakka replied.

Yuna said, "Isaaru.  But, why?"

"We need to tell someone, preferably another summoner, that Yunalesca is no more.  This Isaaru does not need to believe us, or even agree with us.  He just needs to remember what we tell him, and to keep an open mind.  If we succeed, he will have all the proof he needs, and the rest will not matter.  If we fall, he will need to go to Zanarkand, judge for himself the truth of what we have said, and act accordingly."

"So what's our plan?" Lulu inquired.

"First we talk to Isaaru," Yuna answered, "and search for Maester Seymour's aeon."

"Then we go see the old guy in the Calm Lands, and start filling his Arena for him," Tidus added.

"Sounds good to me, brudda," Wakka added enthusiastically.

Rikku bounced happily in her chair.  Lulu shook her head in resignation.  Kimahri had been quiet through the discussion, but he seemed content.  Auron and Mercy looked at each other across the table.  She winked at him, waiting to see how he would react as she wrapped her booted legs around one of his, under the narrow table.  His mouth twitched, then she saw the light of mischief in his eye, as he raised his eyebrow.  _This is all going to work_, she thought.

Tidus watched them together; he could almost see the shimmer in the air between them as they looked at each other.  He knew that he had to tell her the rest of what the fayth had said.  _She had a right to know.  Whether she told the old man, well, that was her decision_.

"We should go see if Isaaru is still in Bevelle," Yuna said.

"Let's ask Pops to check with his new gadget.  He'll be able to locate him in a jiffy," Rikku chimed in.

"All right, we'll go to the bridge and ask him," Yuna replied, a little uncertainly.

"I'll go with you," Wakka announced, and so they began to leave the room, with Kimahri guarding Yuna, as always.  They hesitated at the threshold, turning to look at Lulu, still seated at the table.

Lulu said, "Please go, I would like to remain here.  I need to…think…for a while."  The rest of the party filed out.  Yuna, Rikku, Kimahri and Wakka headed for the bridge.  

Tidus was lagging behind, and Mercy stuck with him, guessing that something was wrong, but not sure what.  Even Auron was puzzled by his odd behavior.  After they turned a corner, Tidus stopped walking, and asked, "Mercy, can I, uh, talk with you, just for minute?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"I mean, well, what I meant was, uh, can I talk to you, alone?" he finally managed to say, while scuffing the toe of his shoe against the floor.  Then he looked up at her, his eyes pleading.

She exchanged a brief glance with Auron, and nodded.  Her husband said, "I was going to see Rin about some armor.  I'll be back," and walked quickly through another door.

As soon as they were alone, Tidus said sadly, "There's something I have to tell you.  I learned something from the fayth.  Something about Zanarkand.  Our Zanarkand."  He went on in a rush.  "The city is a dream of the fayth.  Mercy, when we destroy Yu Yevon, the dream will end.  We will…vanish.  I thought…I thought you should know."

"Have you told Yuna?" she asked.

"No, I don't know if I can.  Will you…will you tell Auron?"

"He already knows.  He's known all along."

"Then what will you do?  How can you stand it?" his voice was shaking with suppressed emotion.

She stood close to him, and placed her hands on his shoulders.  He put his hands on hers as well, and leaned forward until his forehead rested against hers, their arms clasped loosely around each other's shoulders.  He could see that her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

They were concentrating so intently on each other, that neither saw the black mage peering around the corner at one end of the corridor.  Lulu watched them in a mixture of horror and fascination, wishing desperately that she could hear as well as see.  Their intimacy held such ease, as though they had embraced like this often.  _It was so annoying not to be able to hear what they were saying_, Lulu thought.  The mage wondered how long their relationship had been this way.

Mercy knew she had to tell him everything, not sure in the circumstances whether it would make things better, or worse.  "Don't worry about me.  I just wish there was an easier way to tell you.  Honey, there was only one way for me to ride Sin to Spira.  I am…like Auron now.  I am unsent."

He shook his head against hers.  He didn't want to believe it, but he did.  It made too much sense.

"If we defeat Yu Yevon, and survive, Yuna will have to send me as soon as the battle is over.  I will not vanish.  I will go to the Farplane.  Whatever that means."  She still didn't exactly know.

"What will Auron do?" Tidus asked, with a catch in his voice.

"Ask him yourself," she responded, as the door opened and Auron stepped through.

Lulu waited to see what would happen.  She expected guilt from Tidus and Mercy, a jealous rage from Auron, signs of anger and betrayal, maybe even revenge.  Then she saw that she must have read the entire scene completely and utterly wrong.  Mercy and Tidus slid one arm around each other, and opened their embrace on the other side, to welcome Auron into it.  After a moment's hesitation, he stepped forward, and in.

End Chapter seventeen

******Author's Notes:  I would like to especially thank highlander-bellflower, who has beta-read the last couple of chapters and has been terrific help to me.  All errors, omissions and grammatical stupidities are strictly my own, however.  Please do let me know what you thought of the chapter, or of the story so far.  Thanks for reading.


	19. Check It Out

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The song, "Check it Out" was written and performed by John Mellencamp.  "The Stuff that Dreams are Made of" was written and performed by Carly Simon.******

Isaaru was still in Bevelle, according to the ship's oscillo-finder device.  Either he had already received word that Yuna and her party were no longer considered traitors, or, he was persuaded by the sight of Kimahri towering over him, but he came aboard the airship willingly enough.  Yuna led him to the room they had used for their earlier meeting, to find that the rest of the group was already waiting for them.

Isaaru now found himself facing what seemed like a tribunal, eight faces turned toward him in judgment.  He feared that he was about to be punished for his battle with Yuna at the exit from the Via Purifico, in spite of her assurances that everyone just wanted to talk with him.  He looked around the room, saw most of Yuna's guardians seated around the table, but Sir Auron was standing against the far wall, surprisingly close to a dark-haired swordswoman he had not seen before.  _Had Yuna acquired yet another guardian?_

"Lady Yuna, I do not understand why you have brought me here.  Surely, you have already been to Zanarkand.  What need have you for a failed summoner such as I?" Isaaru asked.

"Lord Isaaru," Yuna began, but he interrupted her.  "I am only Isaaru now, Lady Summoner."

"Lord Isaaru," she continued, "you can still summon, can you not?"

"Yes."

"Then, Lord Isaaru, we have invited you here because we do need your help," Yuna continued.

"But you have won our challenge.  You have met Lady Yunalesca and received the Final Aeon.  What possible assistance could I provide?"  Isaaru's voice carried a note of self-pity.

Auron had heard enough, and said so.  "That is enough," his voice cut the air.  "Do you know the choice you would have faced if you had met Yunalesca?"  _This boy was an idiot_.  

Mercy just knew he was going to keep on going.  _Damn it, man, the point is to get him on our side, not scare him to death!_  "Auron," she warned, her voice low, as she laid her hand on his arm.  

He heard her, but he couldn't stop himself from continuing, "Yunalesca offered each summoner who reached her a choice, which guardian would they sacrifice to become the fayth for the final summoning.  Who would you have chosen?"

Isaaru turned to Yuna in horror.  "Lady Yuna, is this true?"

She bowed her head for a moment, then raised her face to meet his eyes, "Yes, it is true."

Isaaru blindly stumbled to the table, and fell awkwardly into a chair.  His head dropped into his hands.  "My brothers…I could not have done it.  Not even for Spira."

"But once you knew the truth, Yunalesca would not allowed any of you to just…walk away."  Auron's voice was still gruff, but quieter now.

"Oh, Yevon," Isaaru cried out in anguish.

"I know, man, it's tough," Wakka said in sympathy.  He knew what it was like to lose a brother.  He might be lacking in the imagination department, like Lulu said, but this, he could understand better than anyone.

Isaaru recovered himself enough to ask, "Why?  What is the purpose in all this?"

Lulu was the one who answered.  "At the core of Sin is an ancient summoner, Yu Yevon.  Every time Sin was defeated with the Final Aeon, Yu Yevon used the Final Aeon to create a new Sin, and thus was Sin reborn."

Isaaru searched out Auron's face.  "High Summoner Braska?" he asked.

"Jecht," Auron replied.

Isaaru looked around the room again, visibly counting.  Yuna had all the guardians he had met before, plus the woman with Sir Auron.  This made no sense.  "But, Lady Yuna, you seem to have more guardians than you did before.  What happened in Zanarkand?"

Yuna replied, "I would not sacrifice any of my guardians for a false hope.  Lady Yunalesca attacked us."

Tidus continued, "So we fought Yunalesca, and defeated her.  We think there is a way to destroy Sin, and Yu Yevon, without the Final Aeon.  We have to try."

"And that is where you come in," Mercy went on.  

"But who are you?" Isaaru was clearly bewildered.

"Lady Mercy is Sir Auron's wife," Yuna interjected.  Isaaru had started to get up, but he collapsed back into the chair at that announcement.

Mercy ignored his reaction.  She was starting to get used to it, she supposed.  "We believe we have a way to defeat Sin and Yu Yevon, but we are not certain.  We won't know until we try, and then it will be too late.  All the teachings point to Yunalesca, and the Final Aeon.  They won't work anymore.  I don't know if you believe what we've just told you, or not.  I hope so, but frankly, it doesn't matter.  We only ask that you keep an open mind, and most important, that you remember what we have said.  If we fail, we beg you, please go to Zanarkand and see for yourself.  Please promise us that you will do that much.  It is all that we ask."

Isaaru met each of their eyes in turn, then replied, "I give you my word.  If you fight Sin, and do not return, I will go in your place.  What is your strategy?"

They gathered around the table to discuss methods and tactics for the better part of the afternoon.

After Isaaru left, it was time to head toward Baaj, to see if the submerged temple was the location of Seymour's aeon.  Besides, Tidus had a score to settle with the creature that lived in the ruins.  He was looking forward to meeting it again, with Wakka and Rikku to back him up.

"How long will it take us to reach this place?" Mercy asked Rikku.

"I dunno, I'll ask my dad," the girl replied. 

"Let me come with you, I'd like to ask him something myself," Mercy said in response.

"Sure thing," Rikku chirped.

Auron shot her a questioning look, but Mercy pantomimed playing a keyboard, and he understood.  It had something to do with her music.  That was all he needed to know.

On the way to the bridge, Mercy asked Rikku, "Is there a cargo hold or something where you dad keeps a lot of machina, or spare parts, anything like that?"

"Yeah, sure.  Why are you interested?"

"I'm looking for something.  A certain kind of machina.  The kind I used to use for my music.  With my brother."  Mercy's voice choked, stopped.  Dafydd.

Rikku saw the grief on the woman's face, didn't know what to do to cheer her.  "You okay?" she asked quietly.

"I'm okay.  Just thinking about my brother, that's all.  We used to sing together."  Her voice caught.  "I miss him."

In a quiet voice, Rikku said, "Would you tell me a little, about Zanarkand?"

Mercy made an effort to shake herself out of her dark mood.  "I'll make you a deal.  You help me search for my music machina, and I'll tell you all you want about Zanarkand.  Deal?"

"You bet!" Rikku responded enthusiastically, as the doors to the bridge opened.

"Hey, Pops, when will we get to Baaj?" Rikku asked Cid.

"Tomorrow morning soon enough for you?" the captain boomed in reply.

"Sure, Pops," his daughter answered.

"Cid, can I ask you for a favor?" Mercy cut in.

"And what might that be, little lady?" he answered, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"I understand you have a cargo hold with some spare machina and parts.  I was wondering if I could take a look through it, see if I could find a music machina I need," Mercy responded.

"Music machina?  Sure, no problem.  Take what you want.  Good luck makin' anything in that junk pile work," he laughed.  _She had her work cut out for her_, he thought.

"Don't worry about me.  If I can find what I'm looking for, I can make it work.  Thanks, Cid."  Mercy turned to Rikku.  "You still willing to help?"

"100 percent," she said eagerly.

"Then let's go," Mercy started towards the door, rubbing her hands together in anticipation of the search.

The room was a mess.  Mercy had explained to Rikku on the way down which brands she was looking for, and what the instrumentation machines looked like, grateful that it had always been a niche market, so there were relatively few brands and models to look for.  They started at the door, and worked in opposite directions, trying to cover at least part of the 'junk pile' before dinner.  As they worked, Rikku peppered Mercy about life in the machina city for the first hour or so, until they both became too focused on the search to concentrate on conversation.  Eventually, Mercy realized that her tunic was sticking to her back with a nasty combination of sweat plus grease from the machina she was handling, so she stripped it off, and used it to wipe her face.  The black sports bra she wore underneath was more than adequate coverage.  Rikku's orange top was streaked with black grease.  Neither of them was sure it could even be salvaged.

After three hours, Mercy had finally hit pay dirt, more or less.  She was doubled over the edge of a cardboard box, her hands barely reaching the bottom, her feet no longer touching the ground, blood rushing to her head.  But she had found the guts of an instrumentation/backup machine just like one of the ones that Daf used to use, which meant that the outside casing must be around here someplace.  She was just about to shriek in triumph when she heard the door open.

Auron stepped into the cluttered hold, and saw his wife's very fine behind poised over the edge of a crate.  He did not notice Rikku crouching amid the broken machina on the other side of the room, and Rikku decided to keep it that way, as Auron made a beeline to Mercy's side, pulling off his glove and shrugging his left arm out of his coat as he moved.   He looked down at her, bent over the box.  She was at his, well; mercy was a pretty good word for it.  The husky note in his voice when he spoke made Mercy feel even more light-headed.  "My lady, may I help you?" he purred, as he kneaded her backside with his hands.  The sound of his voice, the touch of his fingers, made Mercy's temperature rise.  She pretended to flail her hands helplessly, 'accidentally' letting one brush against his thigh, and reaching up, hearing his breath catch when she brushed against what she was aiming for, then catching herself on the box again.  "You could help me up," she finally replied, fairly steadily she thought, for someone hanging upside down.  "I could throw you over my shoulder and carry you out of here," he responded, his voice low.  He was seriously considering the idea.  "Love, I'm going to pass out down here.  Let me stand up while you think about it.  Okay?"  She put her arms back behind her, in a gesture clearly meant for him to haul her out of the box, and he did, pulling her back into his arms immediately afterwards until her head cleared.

Rikku wished she wasn't there.  She couldn't see anything, but she sure could hear.  Just listening was enough to make her face flame.  It also explained a few things.  Hearing them, she could understand how someone could fall in love with a mean old grump like Auron.  If he'd ever sounded like that with her.  _No_.  Best not to EVER think about that.  But someday, she wanted a man to talk to her that way.

Mercy turned in Auron's arms, so she could face him.  "What brought you here?"

"Looking for you.  You have been down here a long time.  I was...hungry."  It was clear from the expression on his face that he was not talking about food.  Suddenly, she wasn't interested in dinner, either.  More like dessert.  "We should...do something about that," she replied, licking her lips suggestively.  "But first, I need to talk with my able assistant," she said, and stepped away from him.  "Rikku," she called.

Rikku stood up, yawning as though she had been asleep.  Good save, Mercy silently congratulated the girl.  "I'm sorry, I must have fallen asleep.  What's up?"  Rikku tried to sound as though she'd just woken from a nap, but she was blushing furiously.

"It's dinner time.  I'm going to take a break for the night.  I just wanted to tell you, we're on the right track.  I found the insides of a music machina in that box, so the outside casing is probably here too.  At least there's a good chance.  We'll just have to look the next time we're aboard.  Thanks for all your help.  And your company.  This would have been really dull without you, Rikku."

"Glad to help," the girl chirped, her face still fairly pink as she left.

Now that they were alone, Mercy turned back to Auron.  "About that appetite of yours..." she teased, as she slid her arms around his neck.

---------

The ship dropped them above the ruins of Baaj Temple in the morning.  Whatever had submerged the temple had done a pretty thorough job of it; there wasn't a whole lot above the waterline.  They all knew the inside of the temple was still pretty airtight, thanks to Tidus' and Rikku's earlier visit, but Mercy wondered how long it would stay that way.  Tidus certainly enjoyed settling the score with the monster outside the temple, with Wakka's and Rikku's help.  The rest of them were happy to just watch.  Then they were inside the temple.

Tidus had been right, there was definitely something here.  The problem was, they couldn't find out exactly what.  The chamber was a puzzle.  Lulu was the one who solved the riddle.  "This is the Cloister of Trials," she said at last.  "This one chamber is the trial.  The symbols behind the statues represent the temples.  See, there is one for each temple, Besaid, Kilika, Djose, Macalania, and Bevelle."

"So what's the last one for?" Tidus asked.

"These same symbols were on the points of the lift that descended to the chamber of the fayth in Zanarkand," Lulu continued.  "Therefore, I believe the last statue must represent Zanarkand.  We must go back."  They all turned to Yuna, waiting for her to decide their next move.

Yuna stood silent for a few moments, considering.  "I think we should go to the Calm Lands next, to the Arena…I don't think that we are ready to go back to Zanarkand…yet.

"As you wish," Auron responded.

Mercy reflected on what she had just witnessed.  Lulu was clearly the 'expert' in the group, the one who always had all the answers, the one everyone else looked up to.  _I wonder if she was jealous when Auron showed up, and suddenly he was the expert?  And a legend, into the bargain, based on some of the stories I've heard bits of since I've been here.  Then I appeared, and confused things even further.  I'm amazed she hasn't sent a Firaga up my nose long before now, since she doesn't dare touch him._

"Then let's get back to the ship, ya?" Wakka prompted.  So they went.

It was late afternoon when they returned to the ship.  Mercy and Rikku headed back to the cargo hold with renewed energy, hopeful that the main part of the machina they were looking for would be in there, somewhere.  It helped that Mercy now knew exactly which one to look for, and could give Rikku a specific description, based on the parts she had seen.  They found the casing within an hour, and, working together with surgical precision, had the machine fixed in less than two hours.  It helped a lot when you knew what you were looking for.

Rikku had been a little shy as they worked, not asking nearly as many questions as the day before.  She was trying to work up her courage to ask something personal, and it took her a little time.  As Mercy started to program the machine, to test it, Rikku finally started working her way around to what she really wanted to know.  "Uh, can I ask you something, well, personal?"

"You can ask." Mercy replied coolly, but then she smiled up at the girl, to let her know that she meant it kindly.  "Don't worry, that's actually kind of a joke," she continued.  "Tidus used to ask me personal stuff all the time.  The day I met him, I think I answered three quarters of his questions with 'none of your business'.  He would ask the same question over and over, in as many different ways as he could think of, just to see if he could trip me up.  Of course, he was all of twelve at the time, so his attempts weren't very subtle."  The expression on her face was very fond.  Then she bent her head back to the control panel of the machina, and her fingers busied themselves with the programming.

"So, how did you meet Tidus, then?" Rikku asked, figuring it was a safe place to start.

"Auron introduced us.  He used to spend Sundays with Tidus, and he took me with him.  We'd known each other about a week, then, so I was pretty nervous.  I wondered what I would talk about with a kid, not knowing that Tidus would do all the talking.  Still does."  Mercy grinned.

"But how did you meet Auron?" Rikku blurted out.

Mercy closed up the control panel on the machina, wiped her hands together, stood up, and dusted herself off.  "My brother and I were performing in a club in Zanarkand.  Auron was walking on the street outside, and heard me singing, and came in."  She paused and took a breath.  "I don't know if this is going to work, but I think I just programmed this machina to do backup for the song I was singing that night, or at least I sure hope so.  I'm a little rusty, and so is the machina, so this might not work too well, but if you're game, I'll try it."

Rikku perched on a crate.  "I can't wait.  I'm all ears."

Mercy flipped a couple of switches on the little machina, tried a couple of experimental prayers to whatever deities might possibly exist and watch over performers on Spira, took a deep breath, and waited for the opening bars of "Desperado".  Her stomach did flip-flops as the machine began to play, but when her cue came; she closed her eyes, and sang from her soul, seeing in her mind the night in Zanarkand when Auron walked in, and her world changed.

Rikku closed her eyes, too, and let the words of the song wash over her.  _This is so beautiful_, she thought.  _And the story is just so romantic.  I mean, Auron is the Desperado, after all_.  After the song ended, Rikku was practically bouncing with enthusiasm.  "Mercy, you should do concerts.  On the airship, I mean.  You sound so good.  It would be so cool.  Everyone would come.  Would you, please?  Think about it, I mean?"

"I will think about it, Rikku.  I was planning to make some recordings, at least.  That's why I wanted the machina.  I'm not sure about doing concerts; it's hard for me to think about performing without Dafydd.  But I do miss it."

"Dafydd?" Rikku inquired.

"My brother.  He's in the other Zanarkand."

Rikku was slightly abashed.  "Oh.  I'm sorry."

"Don't be.  It's not your fault.  I promise I'll think about it, okay?"

"Okay!" Rikku replied enthusiastically.

Later, Auron found Mercy in their cabin, sitting on their bed, her head bent over the machina.  He automatically sat behind her, and began to massage the stiffness out of her back and shoulders.  She leaned into his touch with a grateful sigh.  "Does it work?" he asked.

"Oh, yes," she answered.  "It works all right.  It actually sounds pretty good.  Rikku thinks I ought to give concerts, in fact."  She tilted her head to look at his face.  "What do you think?"

"I think you are still the woman I met in Zanarkand.  The one who said that her soul needed the music."

"You're right.  I had just intended to make recordings.  To leave something behind, in the hope that, when the Calm comes, someone might find them useful, but it's not enough.  I still prefer to sing in front of an audience, even if it's just Rikku."  Mercy paused.  "I'd rather sing for you.  If I give concerts, will you be there?"

"Always, my lady," he murmured, as he pulled her down onto the bed.  As she wrapped her arms around him, she whispered, "Love, I need my music, but not as much as I need you."

In the morning, the airship returned them to the Calm Lands.  Tidus decided to train another chocobo before they rode to the Arena.  Auron muttered something under his breath to Mercy to the effect that, "We do not have time for this."  Mercy whispered back fiercely, "Let it go, Auron.  He has no time but this."  

Mercy observed the byplay between Tidus and Yuna.  Their relationship was somewhat on again/off again.  She'd seen it on the ship, too.  It was obvious that the two were very much in love with each other.  Everything showed it.  They stood close together, touched whenever possible, held hands, smiled foolishly at each other when they thought no one was looking.  Just the way Yuna was cheering Tidus on as he raced now with the chocobo trainer gave it away.  She knew from what Auron had told her that the two had been lovers before they reached Zanarkand, yet now they slept apart.  Why?  Was Yuna that concerned about the proprieties, now that she knew she was going to survive?  Or was Lulu filling her head with that nonsense?  Tidus, young fool that he was, hadn't told her that he wouldn't be around, once Sin was gone.  Yuna had no idea that now was all they had.  She thought there would be plenty of time, later.  Besides, what they were attempting was still very dangerous.  Any of them could fall along the way.  Now was all any of them could count on.  None of them could afford to waste a second of it.  She took Auron's hand for a moment, clasped it briefly, felt an answering squeeze, and let go.  Their eyes met.  She mouthed the words, "I love you," soundlessly to him.  Surprised, he smiled back, and nodded.

Tidus lost the race with the chocobo trainer.  They rented enough of the friendly yellow birds to travel swiftly to the old arena on the eastern edge of the Calm Lands.  The old man was glad to see them return, and even gladder when they agreed to help him restock his training ground.  They almost all groaned when they heard they would have to buy his special weapons, it did sound rather like a scam to most of them.  Wakka was the most trusting, Mercy thought.  _He is so sweet; he believes the best of everyone_.

It took them three days to capture one of every kind of creature in the Calm Lands.  Three long, wearying, footsore days hiking the length and breadth of the vast plain.  Mercy was not totally sorry to have missed the original trip through the place, except for the time she had lost with Auron.  _It would have been worth it, just for that_, she thought.  But only for that, she decided, as they captured yet another Flame Flan.  The party returned to the airship every night, which was a luxury they hadn't had on their earlier passage.  The quarters they had occupied had now been permanently assigned to each of them, and had become repositories for spare weapons and extra possessions, so they had become rather like home to them, and had begun to take on the characters of their residents.  According to rumor, Rikku's were cluttered, Yuna's, neat as a pin, and no one ever got past the door of Lulu's, since facing the door was a set of moogle dolls staring at any would-be intruder until they fled in terror.  Mercy tried not to think about what Tidus' cabin must look like.  She had seen what his houseboat looked like after he moved out on his own.  She didn't know Wakka well enough to guess, and she had no idea what Ronso housekeeping was like.  She and Auron weren't exactly neat-freaks, either.  Or rather, she suspected he had been when he'd been with the warrior-monks, mostly because he hadn't had enough stuff not to be tidy, she guessed, but she wasn't, and he'd adapted when they'd lived together.

After they had captured at least one of every type of fiend in the Calm Lands, they returned to the arena to collect their payment.  The old man rewarded them with, among other things, a chest that they couldn't open.  Except…the cloudy mirror that Tidus had won at Remiem in that chocobo challenge reacted to the box.  It wouldn't open it, but it hummed, just like it did when it came in contact with that crazy map he had picked up as prize.  Maybe, if they figured out what the mirror was for, they could translate the map, and open this box.

Tidus spoke up.  "I have an idea.  Let's go through Macalania Woods.  It'll be a change after all this grassland, and we can pick up a new set of fiends.  How about it?"

Mercy asked, "Could we visit the temple?  I think it might be a good idea to speak with the fayth again.  To see if they have anything else to say, now that we are decided upon our course."  _I want to thank her_, Mercy admitted to herself.  She caught Auron's eye.  He nodded.

Yuna agreed, "I think that would be a good idea, to see if we are on the right track.  We will go through Macalania."

--------

At Macalania Temple, when Yuna went in to pray to the fayth, Tidus, Auron and Mercy accompanied her, surprising her a bit.  Shiva's message was addressed to Tidus, rather than to Yuna, who was clearly puzzled by the fayth's words.  Shiva said, "Should the dreaming end, you too will disappear--Fade into Spira's sea, Spira's sky.  But do not weep, nor rise in anger.  Even we were once human. That is why we must dream.  Let us summon a sea in a new dream world.  A new sea for you to swim."

Tidus wanted to shout that he didn't want a sea in a new dream world, he liked this one just fine, but he kept still.  He didn't want to upset Yuna.  

Shiva then turned to Mercy, saying, "Do you value the gift that we have given?"

"More than my life," Mercy replied.

"Then you have passed the final test.  Child, you have done well.  You have fulfilled all our dreams for this…stubborn guardian.  It is time now for you to dream your own dreams."

"I know.  And, I thank you."  Mercy bowed to the fayth.

Auron took Mercy's hand in his.  "And I also thank you," he said gravely.  "You gave me the greatest gift of all."

"Guardian, it seemed a fair exchange.  We hope that you believe so as well."

"I believe that I have the best of the bargain," Auron replied, smiling.

"Then we are content," Shiva answered him.

-------

They returned to the airship in the evening.  Mercy had spent much of her previous spare time aboard ship programming the machina, and testing it.  On this occasion, she packed up the little machine and told Auron, "I am going to find a place where I can practice.  I hope you don't mind."

"No, go right ahead," he replied calmly.  He had been planning for this for some time.  In less than fifteen minutes there was a knock on the cabin door.  It was Tidus.  "She's three levels up, all the way forwards.  There's a crowd already, and it's growing fast," he said.

"We'd better go," Auron answered, getting up and heading for the door.

"Right behind you, boss," Tidus was already talking to the empty air.  Auron was halfway down the corridor.

By the time they reached the impromptu concert, Mercy was almost halfway through the songs she had programmed into the machina.  Based on the enthusiastic applause at the end of each number, this audience wouldn't care if she repeated every song.  Twice.  When Auron entered the room, her eyes met his, and her face lit in a dazzling smile.  _Yes_, he thought, _this is exactly what she needed.  I must thank Rikku.  Later_.

She sang to him, as she had so many times before:

It's the stuff that dreams are made of

It's the slow and steady fire

It's the stuff that dreams are made of

It's your heart and soul's desire

It's the stuff that dreams are made of

And for them, it was.

She saw Rin, in the corner of the room, holding up a sphere.  _Aieee!  He was making a recording_.  He winked at her, as though they were making a deal.  She nodded back.  _I do have a deal for him_.  They would discuss it, later.

Meanwhile, this was her legacy, so she sang one song, to acknowledge that, to herself, at least.  
    
    A million young poets
    
    Screamin´ out their words
    
    Maybe someday
    
    Those words will be heard
    
    By future generations
    
    Ridin´ on the highways that we built
    
    Maybe they'll have a better understanding
    
    Check it out
    
    Hope they'll have a better understanding

Then, Mercy looked at Tidus, and Yuna, sitting side by side, his arm around her shoulders, and sang "Help Me" for them, and "Anticipation", hoping that they would understand, but fearing that they would not.  _These are the good old days.  These are all we have.  Make them count_.

She smiled at Auron, and closed, as always, with "Seven Wonders".  The applause was thunderous in the small space.

------

The next morning they tried the southern portion of the Macalania Woods.  They met a young mother and her son who were waiting for the remaining member of their family to join them.  Traveling through the woods, they ran into the man, who had become confused about the rendezvous point.  Luckily, the party was able to point him in the direction of the rest of his family.  When the group didn't find many fiends down the road they were walking, they turned back and followed him.  He had located his wife, but now his son was missing.  Apparently, the boy had scampered off while his mother's back was turned, and now his mother was concerned about him.  They searched the area, and eventually located the child at the head of top of a mysterious glowing path, in front of a large, spherical crystal, yet another one of the mysteries in these woods.  Something in Tidus' pack started to hum in reaction to the crystal.  They escorted the boy back to his worried parents, then returned to face the crystal.  

Tidus dropped his pack and rooted through the contents until he uncovered the cloudy mirror, then turned to face the crystal with the mirror in his upraised hand.  The mirror began to glow with light, as though it were reflecting the light from the crystal.  As Tidus lowered the mirror, they all looked at it in wonder.  It was not merely reflecting the crystal; it had actually absorbed some of its light.  Now, the mirror was sort of a mini-crystal, lit from within, even when Tidus covered it with his hands.  He started to replace it in his pack, but his pack started humming again, louder this time.  "What now?" he grumbled.  "The map, the map," Rikku exclaimed.  "Yeah, right!" Tidus practically shouted, as he drew the old parchment out of his pack.  In the new light of the mirror, they could all read the map.  At the top the title read "Celestial Weapons".  The map had three symbols repeated all over it, and at the bottom, the symbols were identified as either "Weapon", "Sigil", or "Crest".  Beside each symbol on the map itself was one of three words, "Seek", "Quest", or "Challenge".  

"Deciphering this is going to take some time," Lulu declared.  "We should save this until we are aboard the ship tonight."

"Agreed," Mercy seconded.  Lulu looked at her in surprise.  Mercy shrugged.  _When the witch was right, she was right.  Why argue?_

-----

They gathered around the map after dinner, in the room that Mercy secretly thought of as the "conference room".

"Okay, it's a map of Spira. But what's a celestial weapon when it's at home?" she asked.

"Must be like Lord Mi'ihen's sword, like that guy said on the Highroad," Wakka offered.

"Yeah, I think that's it," Tidus agreed eagerly.

"He must have had a lot of friends," Mercy replied, somewhat archly.

"Other heroes, over the years, may have also left their legacies behind," Yuna responded, more reverently.

"You're right, Yuna," Lulu agreed.

"So," Mercy went on, "I think we have to hope that there is a weapon for each of us.  We'll know when we find them.  Meanwhile, we have three sets of symbols; weapon, sigil, and crest.  Weapon is obvious, but what about the other two?  Do you think they broke the weapons apart when they were hidden, to dim their power?"

"Possibly," was Auron's contribution.  "We have already located most of the crests.  Everyone, get the ones you have and return here."  Once everyone returned, they were able to match the crests to the locations where they had been found.  All of the locations had been marked with the notation "seek".  Two remained, one in Luca, one in Guadosalam, although they had no clues yet as to which of the party each crest belonged to, if any.

"Each of these was found easily, in the location specified on the map.  There was no test, no trial, no puzzle," Auron continued.  "This must be the meaning of the 'seek' notation."

Tidus studied the map again, looking at the Calm Lands area closely.  "Look here, the Arena is marked three times, once for a weapon, and twice for the sigils, whatever they are.  They all say challenge."  He stopped to think for a moment, then went on in a rush.  "Hey, I wonder if that's what's in that chest the old man gave us, the one we couldn't open.  I bet the mirror will open it now.  I bet that either one of these weapons is in it, or one of the sigils.  We should check tomorrow.  Capturing fiends for the arena must be one of the challenges."

"We should test your theory in the morning," Lulu replied.

In the morning, they returned to the Arena, and proved that Tidus' theory was correct, at least so far.  The chest proved to contain a staff, inscribed with runes that named it "Nirvana".  It was clearly meant for Yuna.  Gathering around her, they tried placing each of the crests, one by one, next to the staff, to see which belonged to the staff.  Only when Yuna held the Moon Crest near the staff, did they hear a faint resonance.  "I think we need to return to the crystal in Macalania to merge the weapon and the crest," Yuna said uncertainly.

"I agree," Lulu responded swiftly.

Tidus turned to the fiend handler.  "You got any other prizes for us?"

"Not until you bring me some more fiends.  I got some really interesting stuff for you, if you restock my whole place, though," the old man answered.

"All right!" the young man eagerly replied.  Then he turned back to the others.  "Look, there are two more places marked as 'challenge' in the Calm Lands, a weapon in the northwest, and a sigil near the travel agency, but the only challenge I know of is racing the chocobo trainer.  Let's go check it out!"

The expression on Auron's face was almost pained as he looked at his wife.  Mercy just shrugged in response, but she had to smile at Tidus' enthusiasm.  He was on the right track, after all.  She just wondered how long it was going to take to beat the chocobo trainer, twice, it seemed.  Tidus hadn't had much luck, so far.

It took, as it turned out, most of the day.  But, in the end, he won, both his weapon, the Caladbolg, from the northwest section of the Calm Lands, and the Sun Sigil that matched it.  They had mastered the key to the map, it seemed.  The only question that remained was whether there truly were weapons for each of the members of their party.  

When they returned to the ship, Tidus was in high spirits, as were most of the others.  Auron had found the afternoon, just watching, extremely annoying, and needed to blow off some steam, so he headed toward the room set aside as a gymnasium.  As she headed for the shower, Mercy felt a little sorry for whoever or whatever ended up as her husband's sparring partner this afternoon.  That unlucky soul was going to end up with some serious bruises, she thought.

In the shower, she thought about Tidus, and Yuna.  It was so obvious that they were deeply in love, but something was holding them back.  She still wondered why, or what, as she stepped out of the shower and put on her robe.  She tied the red silk around her waist as the door chimed.  She was surprised to find Yuna standing in the doorway.  She quickly ushered the young woman inside.

"Mercy, may I trouble you for a moment?"  Yuna said, as she bowed to the older woman.

"Of course, Yuna. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"May I ask you a personal question?"  _First Rikku, now Yuna_, Mercy thought.

Mercy was more cautious now.  "Please sit."  She sat on the side of the bed.  Her side of the bed, as it turned out.  Yuna stared around the room for a few seconds.  The room was in a mild state of disarray.  The bed was unmade, a black robe thrown across one side.  The party had been aboard the airship long enough now for the room to have definitely taken on the character of the occupants.  Both occupants.  Yuna's face flushed, and she began to back out of the room hurriedly.  "Yuna, wait, you wanted to ask me a question.  Please, go ahead."  

Yuna stood irresolute, but only for a moment, then she stepped forward, and sat beside her hostess.  She truly had no one else she could ask.  "Mercy, what is love?"

Mercy closed her eyes.  To herself, it seemed like just a second.  A kaleidoscope of images, thoughts, feelings, flashed through her mind, but she said nothing of them.  Instead, she looked into Yuna's eyes, read the younger woman's face, and said,  "Why ask of me a question to which you already know the answer?"

"Because I do not know what to do, and I hoped that you would advise me.  I have no where else to turn."  

Mercy took the younger woman's hands in her own.  "Yuna, that's not the real question, is it?"  Yuna shook her head, her eyes downcast.  "Yuna, look at me."  When their eyes met again, Mercy continued.  "Do you want to know what I think?"  "Yes, please," Yuna responded.  

"Okay, then. I think this is the real question:  Is there anything about loving, or about being loved in return, or about acting upon that love that would impair your ability to perform the task that you have chosen?  That is the only question that matters.  Not what other people may think, or what they will say, but whether you will be able to perform the task ahead?  When you have the answer, you will know what to do."  Mercy released Yuna's hands, and the two women stood and faced each other for a long moment.  

Yuna turned and walked towards the door, but then heard the other woman take in a deep breath as though she had something else to say.  Yuna paused and faced Mercy again.  The older woman spoke one last time, the words spoken sharply, as though it cut her to say so much, "Consider this, you told Yunalesca that you did what you did, with no regrets.  Well, I regret very little that I actually did.  Yuna, you will find, later, that regrets are made of what you did not do."  She paused, one last time.  "I do not regret a single second of the time that Auron and I have had together.  But, I regret…I regret every night of those five years that he was in Zanarkand, that we each spent alone."  Yuna saw the pain in Mercy's face.  The other woman meant every word.  Yuna turned and left the room in a rush.  She needed to think.

That evening, Yuna asked everyone if it would be all right if they went to Besaid next.  She wanted to visit Valefor in the temple, she said, but she looked troubled.  They all agreed, so the course was set for the island that Yuna, Wakka, and Lulu called home.  In the morning, they arrived at Besaid.  Valefor's message, at least, was helpful.  The fayth confirmed that their decision about Sin, about Jecht, at least, was the correct one.  They would free him from Yu Yevon.  They captured more fiends for the arena.  Yuna looked at the faces of the villagers, and searched inside her heart.  She reached her own decision.  "Let's return to Macalania.  Tomorrow night, I would like to camp by the spring again, if everyone agrees."  Shyly, she looked at Tidus' face, and smiled into his eyes.

That night aboard the airship, drowsy and content in each other's arms, Mercy finally remembered to ask Auron, "Is there something significant about that spring?"

"What spring?" he murmured sleepily.

"In Macalania.  The one we're going to camp at tomorrow."

"Probably," he replied, half asleep.

She punched his shoulder.  "Auron, tell me.  Is that where…?"

"Yes."  He smiled, kissed her gently.  "Now, will you go to sleep?"

"Maybe we should check it out tomorrow, too?" she teased.

"Mmm…that has possibilities," he replied, as he spooned against her back, pulling her close.  

----

They found the challenge in Macalania, first.  The butterfly chase, resulting in the Saturn Sigil.  Also a fine collection of fiends for the arena.  They made camp near the spring, but in a much lighter mood than they had on the previous occasion.

After dinner, which tasted surprising good for field-cooked food, they all sat around the campfire debating their next destination.  Yuna rose, cast a significant look in Tidus' direction, and headed for the spring.  Kimahri followed her, to keep watch over her until the blitzer took over.  

Tidus hoped he understood what was going on.  He thought he was supposed to follow, he thought that was why Yuna wanted to camp here, but he wasn't sure.  He waited a little, trying not to be obvious, _not like it wasn't really obvious to everyone_, then walked over to the pile of gear and picked up a couple of towels and moved down the path to the spring, feeling everyone's eyes on his back as he went.

As he passed Kimahri, the Ronso placed a hand on his shoulder for a moment, then turned back toward the campfire, making it clear that he would not be watching.  Tidus continued toward the spring, where Yuna was waiting for him.

They returned an hour later, arms around each other's waists.  If the warmth of the smiles on their faces weren't enough to show that their relationship was now completely out in the open, the rest of their behavior left no doubt.  Mercy looked at them, glad to see the change in their relationship, and tried to pinpoint what else was different.  It was subtle, but something else had changed.  _What was it?_  She almost laughed.  Tidus had stuffed his gloves in his pockets, the same way Auron tucked his into his belt.  His hands were bare.

It was time to lay out bedrolls and start the watches for the night, the one disadvantage of camping out.  Mercy sat by the fire, and watched as Auron picked their bedrolls up from the pile, and laid them out together in a corner of the campground.  He clearly didn't think anything of it; he just did it casually, but very quickly, since they had the first watch.  She noticed, out of the corner of her eye, that Tidus was watching him very carefully.  As soon as Auron had finished, Tidus tried to do the same thing.  He went to the pile, located his and Yuna's bedrolls, and picked them up.  He couldn't pull off the nonchalance, however.  His face was scarlet.  Mercy gave him points for perseverance, since he took the bedrolls to a different corner, and laid them out together, his back to the rest of the group, ignoring as best as he could the fact that everyone was staring at him.  Yuna stood and moved to his side, helping him to organize their sleeping space, becoming an active participant and, thereby, showing her consent to the new arrangement.  Lulu was thunderstruck.  At first, she appeared to be considering which spell would cause the most damage, and Mercy let one of her throwing knives fall to her palm.  But, as Mercy watched, she realized that what Lulu felt wasn't anger, it was pain.  Lulu loved Yuna like a sister, and she wanted her to be happy, but it hurt so deeply to watch, that Lulu almost couldn't bear it.  Mercy turned away.  She felt as though she was intruding, seeing this.  But as she turned, she saw Wakka's face.  _Oh dear, he loves Lulu so much.  His heart is in his eyes.  Doesn't she know?_  Mercy wanted to weep for them all.  

After Kimahri had taken over the watch from them, Auron and Mercy took a couple of towels and headed for the spring.  Mercy hoped they had brought enough towels for everyone, since this pair was likely to end up as full of grass stains as the ones that Tidus and Yuna had used earlier.  When the trail opened up in front of the spring, Mercy stepped ahead of Auron to move closer to the water.  "Auron, this is beautiful," she breathed, gazing at the spring in wonder.

"Yes, it is," he replied, watching her.

She looked over her shoulder at him, teasing now.  "Want to go for a swim?"  Without even waiting for a response, she started to take off her clothes, as he watched.  This was one show he never tired of.  She looked like a goddess when she beckoned to him again, her bare shoulders and breasts rising above the water.  He stripped, fast, and tried to join her.  She swam out of reach, laughing.  He chased after, caught her by the ankle, pulled her against him.  Warm now, the water heightened sensation, as they kissed, touched, caressed.  As the water buoyed them up, she clasped her arms around his neck, her legs around his hips.  He thrust deep inside her, holding her tight in his arms, just as she gripped him tightly inside.  She whispered, "Is there magic here?"  "Only what we make," he answered.  They did.

End chapter eighteen


	20. Moondance

*****Standard Disclaimer.  I do not own FFX or the characters in it.  They are owned by Square-Enix.  I do own this story, and my original characters.  The song, "Moondance" was written and performed by Van Morrison.  "You Have to Hurt" was written by Frank Musker and Dominic King, and performed by Carly Simon.  The song "Seven Wonders" was written by Sandy Stewart and Stevie Nicks, performed by Fleetwood Mac ******

At breakfast, they decided to continue on to the Thunder Plains.  There were two marks on the map to investigate, a sigil challenge at the Travel Agency, and a weapon quest south of it, although no one could recall anything from their previous visit to the area that resembled either a quest or a challenge.  Still, they could collect more fiends for the arena while they puzzled out both problems.

As the group made their way through the northern section of the Thunder Plains, Mercy and Auron were on point, leading the party and watching for fiends on the path ahead.  It wasn't a position that Auron had customarily taken; he had been more comfortable guarding their backtrail than leading, before Mercy had joined them.  Tidus figured it had been Auron's way of compensating for his blind spot without drawing attention to it, as rearguard, it was no problem, as point, it would have been a distinct handicap.  Mercy covered Auron's right, so the problem disappeared.  Yuna pointed out to Tidus that Auron was talking to Mercy as they walked.  They both still kept a sharp lookout, but they also carried on a conversation; it looked like Mercy had asked a question about the lightning towers, and Auron was trying to explain something about how they worked.  "Sir Auron seems more relaxed since Mercy arrived," Yuna ventured.

"Yeah," Tidus agreed.

"He seems to be," she hesitated a moment, "more of a participant, and less of an observer.  He has truly joined us at last."

Lulu had noticed the same phenomenon, but she found it infuriating.  She stared at Mercy's back as they progressed through the Thunder Plains, looking rather as though she wished the lightning would strike the other woman directly, or maybe wondering if she could 'help' it along.  Her inner turmoil at her own emotions, seeing Yuna's happiness with Tidus, remembering her own lost love and her uncertainty about pursuing a relationship with Wakka and Auron's rejection, the strange scene she had witnessed on the airship, her suspicion that Yuna had gone to Mercy for advice and that Mercy had actually encouraged Yuna in that madcap escapade in Macalania, left Lulu confused and upset.  The mage did not like that feeling.  It made her angry, and she focused her anger on the one she felt had caused it all, the one who was, even now distracting Sir Auron from his duties as Yuna's guardian.  He was actually talking with her when he was supposed to be watching for fiends on the road!

Mercy felt like she was being watched, and searched for fiends in the area.  _Great, it was just the witch again.  I wonder when one of her spells is going to accidentally go through me on its way to the target?  I think we're going to have to have a little talk soon.  I'm tired of this_, Mercy thought.  _She's practically burning a hole in the back of my shirt with her eyes_.

By the time they reached the shelter of the Travel Agency, they were all soaking wet, footsore, scorched in a couple of places where they hadn't quite dodged the lightning fast enough, and they had a nice collection of fiends, but nothing that seemed to fit the parameters of either a challenge or a quest.  Still, they were glad to reach the warm, dry (especially dry) confines of the agency for a night's food and lodging.  As everyone sorted themselves into their rooms, Mercy noticed that Lulu stayed outside, she actually seemed to be enjoying the storm.  _Oh what the hell_, she decided, _might as well take care of this now_.  "Auron, I'm going outside, to talk to Lulu.  I think it's about time we cleared the air between us.  I'm getting tired of watching my back."

She caught him off-guard.  He stared at her in astonishment.  "Are you sure that is wise?"

"I'm sure it is not wise," she replied with a laugh.  "But I think it's necessary.  We need to be united to face Yu Yevon.  Things can't go on as they are.  But just in case this turns out to have been really stupid, promise you'll send her to the Farplane right after me?  If she kills me out there, I'm going to have quite a bit left to say to her."  She was partly joking.  She still didn't believe in this Farplane of his, not really.

Completely serious now, he gave her his word, "If anyone takes you away from me now, they will meet you on the Farplane very quickly, I promise you."

Mercy found Lulu standing outside, beyond the shelter of the Agency porch, using just her spells to keep herself dry.  It was a subtle, but effective display of the mage's power.  Mercy was impressed, but didn't let it show.  The two women eyed each other cautiously.  "I came out here to try to clear the air between us," Mercy opened.

"Why?" Lulu responded.

"Because I'm tired of wondering when one of your spells is going to go through me on it's way to the target.  'Accidentally', of course, " Mercy shot back.  Lulu just gave her one of her cool stares.  Mercy went on, "Of course, if that were to happen, if I survived, one of my throwing knives would 'accidentally' hit you.  If I didn't survive, Auron would just cut you down where you stood.  He wouldn't bother to pretend it was an accident.  If we are to defeat Yu Yevon, we can't afford this kind of petty little game, so we need to settle whatever is between us, now, before it gets out of hand.  It is clear to me that you either have some questions for me, or about me, or just plain have a problem with me.  Which is it?"

Lulu was surprised now.  She wasn't used to being challenged, and she felt vaguely threatened by the other woman's forthright tone.  The mage drew lightning from the sky around her, and formed it into a ball, which she began to pass from hand to hand.  It was a basic exercise for a beginning mage, so it served to calm her, and it bought her time while she considered her next words.  She knew it usually impressed and sometimes even frightened those without much magical talent; she wanted to regain the upper hand in this discussion.

_So this was the game now_, Mercy thought, watching Lulu form the lightning ball, and juggle it back and forth.  _Two can play_, and she let a throwing knife drop from its wrist sheath to her palm, and began to toss it into the air, and catch it one-handed.  _It was all about concentration, and control_.  The game was to continue the conversation, and the 'trick', at the same time, and not let anything your opponent said or did, or the lightning overhead, cause you to mishandle the knife or the ball.  Whoever dropped the object or injured themselves first, lost.

"May I ask you any questions I wish?" the mage began.

"Some topics are off limits, but not many."  Mercy laughed.  "None that should affect the outcome of this journey.  We are both adults, I believe.  I have the right to my privacy, as do you.  For example, if you want to ask what kind of lover Auron is, forget about it.  You had your chance to find out the answer to that question for yourself.  We both know that you lost that round.  You don't get to satisfy your curiosity now."

"Are you that certain?" Lulu asked archly.

"Oh yes.  I am that certain.  We would not both be standing here if I wasn't."  Mercy's grin was absolutely lethal.  _Let her think what she likes about that one_.  

"What about Tidus?" Lulu tried again.

"You could ask Yuna, but I can't imagine you would want to embarrass her that much."  Mercy was puzzled by the question.

"I just thought you might know.  I saw you on the airship.  You two looked pretty cozy."  Lulu didn't really think there was anything to this, but she decided to try the question on for size, just to see what sort of reaction she would get.

Mercy just shook her head.  This girl was so far off target; she couldn't find it with a map.  "Let me get this straight, you were skulking at the end of the corridor, after everyone went to see if Isaaru was still in Bevelle, while Tidus and I were talking, and then Auron came in?"

Lulu nodded, ready to argue about the word 'skulking', but Mercy plunged on. "Then you saw everything, right?"  Lulu nodded again.   Mercy caught the knife she had been toying with, and replaced it in its sheath.  If the witch was desperate enough to try this tack, whether she believed it or not, Mercy figured she had won this round too.  The swordswoman just shook her head at the mage, and then she began to laugh.

Lulu's anger exploded.  _How dare she laugh at her like that?  She was the one who had caused all the trouble_.  Lulu's temper got the better of her, and she let the lightning ball fly out of her hands towards her tormentor.  In an instant, the knife dropped back into Mercy's palm.  Regretfully, she sidestepped slightly, so the knife's trajectory wouldn't go through the mage if it didn't fall after it contacted the magical construct, and let it fly toward the 'ball'.  When the weapon reached its target, a crackling sound filled the air, as the electrical charge dissipated in contact with the metal, then the knife dropped to the ground, blackened around the edges.

"Don't even think about trying that trick again."  Mercy addressed Lulu calmly.  "I have more knives.  We will discuss this like civilized beings until we come to some mutual understanding," Mercy bared her teeth, "or there will be hell to pay.  Now, girl, I say again, what is your problem?" 

Lulu caught both the insult, and the threat.  Her mouth worked for a full minute, then she practically spat out her real question.  "Did Yuna come to you for advice?"

_So that's what's really eating her.  She's not the only font of wisdom anymore_.  "Yes, she did," Mercy replied.

The silence stretched out uncomfortably between the two women.  _What, was the woman stupid?  Was she going to make her beg for the obvious?_  "So what did she ask you?  And what did you tell her?  Lulu finally capitulated, and asked.

"You'll have to ask Yuna.  She came to me in confidence, and I respect her right to her privacy as well," Mercy replied.

"But I need to know.  I only want what is best for her." Lulu tried to sound superior, but didn't come close to succeeding.  

"Lulu, you may want what is best for her, but that doesn't mean you have the right to decide what is best for her, not anymore.  That's up to Yuna, now," Mercy said, shaking her head at Lulu's unwillingness to see Yuna as a grown woman in all respects.

"You distract Sir Auron from his duties as Yuna's guardian," Lulu accused.

"I certainly hope so," Mercy replied outrageously.  "The day I stop distracting him is the day I'm going to worry about."

"That is a serious accusation to level against a guardian!" Lulu practically shouted her indignation.

"I probably don't distract Auron half as much as you distract Wakka.  At least Auron is certain we'll be sharing a bed every night, instead of trying to guess how I feel about him," Mercy riposted.

"What are you talking about?" Lulu was completely shocked.  No one ever talked to her like this, and she didn't like it.

"I'm telling you that Wakka is in love with you, and that when Yu Yevon is defeated, you either need to fish or cut line with the poor man."

"What do you mean?" Lulu was stunned; she gave advice, she never took any.  No one, no one dared even try to give her any.

"You should know what I'm talking about.  Isn't Besaid a fishing village?  Wakka loves you.  A blind woman could see it with a cane.  Nothing says you have to love him in return, but if you don't want him, there will be lots of other women who will.  But he'll follow after you forever if he thinks he has a ghost of a chance.  If you decide he's not for you, I do think you owe it to him to set him free.  He's a good man," Mercy finished.

"Wakka is not the man Chappu was," Lulu stated with finality, standing defiantly, her arms crossed under her breasts.

Mercy knew the story.  Rikku had told her all about it, on the airship, when they had been searching for the music machina.  Rikku had filled her in on everything the girl had thought she ought to know.  _Poor Wakka, competing with a dead man.  What is it with this place?  Doesn't anyone ever let the dead rest in peace?  Time to move on, girl.  Time for this whole damn place to move on._

"So what?" Mercy retorted, hands on her hips.  "Chappu was not the man Wakka is, either.  Chappu ran away, he abandoned his responsibilities at home to try to be some kind of hero.  Wakka stayed home, and minded his responsibilities.  He's the real hero," 

Lulu found her temper again.  "How dare you say such things?  How dare you presume to give me advice?"  Her voice rose in anger.

Mercy was very cool in response.  "I dare because you tried to seduce my husband instead of sorting out your feelings for Wakka.  I think I still have quite a ways to go to catch up with that bit of presumption, girl."

"Why do you keep calling me 'girl'?" Lulu asked, practically seething with frustration.

"Because you are acting like one at the moment.  And, because I'm twice your age and I'm real tired of the game we've been playing.  I'd like to call a truce if we can manage that much.  What do you say?" Mercy sighed.

Lulu looked the other woman over as she did the math.  "I thought you must be younger than Sir Auron."  Now she understood.  She'd been the responsible one for such a long time, and it had seemed like Mercy was usurping her place without much right to it.  Perhaps she could learn something from this woman, if she chose.  Her advice had certainly been…interesting.

"Tidus didn't tell you, apparently, and I know I never mentioned it.  The years haven't been kind to Auron, so he looks older, but he isn't.  I'm afraid I'm old enough to be everyone's mother, except his, of course."  Mercy chuckled softly.

"So when I asked if you knew about Tidus…" Lulu began.

"Please, don't go there again." Mercy interrupted, waving her hands in front of her face.  "Auron and I can't have children, but we ended up raising Tidus.  He's the closest to a son we'll ever have."

Lulu's blush was visible under her makeup, as the full impact of her barbed suggestion hit home.  She hadn't intended to be quite that nasty.  "I apologize for my earlier remark.  It was in very poor taste."

Mercy extended her hand.  "Truce?" she asked.

"Truce," Lulu answered, extending her hand in return.

The storm outside was permanently raging, but Mercy thought that the truce in the party was as good as it was going to get, so she wanted to return inside the Travel Agency while she was still ahead.  But…she couldn't resist one last bit of advice before she left.  "Please think about what I said about Wakka."

"I will, on one condition," Lulu replied.  "Will you answer a personal question?"

_Not again_.  "Perhaps," Mercy said aloud.

"Do you ever regret your choice of Sir Auron?" Lulu asked her.

Mercy considered for a moment, then replied, "If you mean, do I regret that I chose Auron instead of a different man, or none at all, then the answer is no, I do not."  Then Mercy grinned at her, and continued, "But if you mean, do I ever want to hit him over the head with a blunt instrument, then the answer is yes, of course I do, frequently.  And you will, too, no matter how much you love the man you do choose, whether it's Wakka or someone else."

For a moment, the two women smiled at each other in complete accord, then Mercy entered the warm, dry Travel Agency.

In the morning, Rikku asked the girl at the desk about the chest outside the Agency, and discovered that it held prizes for those who were especially good a dodging the lightning bolts on the Thunder Plains.  It seemed there was supposed to be a really fantastic reward if you dodged 200 lightning bolts in a row, but no one had ever won that particular prize.  The girl thought it was just a gimmick to get people to stay at the Agency and keep trying to win it.  Tidus read a book on the counter about some Qactaurs that were trapped inside stones that you had to pray to.  They'd seen the stones along the path.  Now they had both challenge and quest in hand, so they split up and took care of both objectives at the same time.  By the end of the day, they had both Kimahri's Spirit Lance and the Venus Sigil.

They returned to the airship that evening, and Mercy sought out Rin in one of his usual haunts.  "How may I be of assistance?" he greeted her.  "I believe we can assist each other, Master Rin."  "I certainly hope so, Lady Mercy."

Mercy decided she needed all the help she could get with this one, so she kept the title.  "I have a business proposition for you, sir."

"I am, as they say, all ears."

"I noticed, that you made a sphere recording of my impromptu musical 'practice session', without my permission," Mercy began, easing around to the point of the whole discussion.

"You have a beautiful voice, Lady, and the music is unusual.  You are yourself an…interesting person.  I do not believe that anyone in Spira was aware that Sir Auron had married.  Any one of those reasons would make the spheres quite popular.  Taken together, well…" Rin spread his hands, indicating wordlessly that he expected to do quite well out of the deal.

"I plan on doing more concerts aboard ship, and also recording some private practice sessions as well.  Would you also like to distribute spheres of those, Master Rin?"  Mercy asked.

"Yes, I would, Lady Mercy."

"Good.  Then these are my terms.  You may record any public performances, and distribute the spheres.  I will make spheres of my private practice sessions, and deliver them to you for safekeeping.  You will not distribute the practice session spheres until I either give you permission or in the event of my death.  As my agent, I think that the proceeds from the sale of the spheres should go 90% to me, or my heirs, and 10% to you.  Do you agree?"

"Lady, you drive a hard bargain.  I believe that I can agree to all of your terms, except for the sharing of the proceeds.  I think that 10% is much too small considering all of the time and effort my Agents and Agencies must expend in shipping and handling.  Spheres are quite fragile, you know."

They settled on a 60/40 split, 60 for Mercy or her heirs, 40 for Rin, and had it all drawn up in a contract.  Mercy named her heirs as Auron, Tidus, Yuna, Rikku, Kimahri, Wakka and even Lulu, knowing as she signed the contract how it would turn out in the end.

They returned to Zanarkand, to see if Lulu's surmise at the submerged temple had been correct.  Yuna thought it was time to get Seymour's aeon, and that they had recovered from the sorrow they had found there the first time.  The second trip was anti-climactic.  Without Yunalesca, the Dome had lost much of its power.  It was still filled with fiends, and pyreflies, but ghostly images no longer stalked its halls.  Their predecessors only walked in their memories, not by their sides.  One final puzzle awaited them in the Chamber of Trials; they solved it with ease, and returned to the airship for the journey to the watery temple on Baaj Island.

In the former front portico of the submerged temple Tidus' prize mirror led them to yet another one of the Celestial Weapons, it turned out to be an Onion Knight moogle doll, clearly intended for Lulu.  In the Cloister of Trials of Baaj Temple, they found that all the statues were now activated, and that the door to the fayth was open.  Lulu had been right; Zanarkand had been the last key to the puzzle here, as well.  

_Anima was Seymour's mother!_  Mercy remembered the scene they had witnessed in Zanarkand.  His mother had expected him to use her to defeat Sin.  He had been a child, a lot younger even than Tidus when she first met him.  She thought Seymour had been no more than eight, maybe younger, the way he had been wiping his eyes when he cried.  _He would have died if he fought Sin.  What had the woman been thinking?_

At least, Yuna had Anima, the aeon of pain.

They mapped out a route that would accomplish their goals, visit the remaining aeons, capture more fiends for the arena, investigate the rest of the symbols on the map, and return to Belgemine in order for Yuna to acquire the Magus Sisters.  Auron believed that by the time they had completed those tasks, they would be ready to face Omega.  If he was correct, they would then face Sin, and Yu Yevon.  If his confidence in their abilities proved misplaced, they could all discuss it on the Farplane, if Yuna lived long enough to send them.  They would return to Bikanel first, to fulfill the sigil quest marked on the map, return to Kilika, then Luca, and retrace their steps north until they reached Guadosalam, then board the airship again to use Gagazet and Yojimbo's Cavern as final tests before reaching the Calm Lands and the Arena and Remiem.

As the ship flew toward Bikanel, Mercy spent the evening in their cabin, trying to program a few more songs into the little machina.  It was not going well.  She decided to take a shower, before she threw the machine across the room in frustration.  It was ironic, she thought, that in Zanarkand, she had always intended that her music would be what she left behind her.  Not children, like most women, but songs.  Then, when Auron had come into her life, she had learned that of everything and everyone she had known and loved, or who had known her or known of her, only he and Tidus would go out into the 'real' world, and that they were both on different kinds of borrowed time.  But she had grabbed her life those five years and wrung every second of joy out of it she could, and then, in the last moments, asked for another way, and it had been given, and here she was, trying again to make song children, on her own borrowed time, and still wringing joy out of every second.  _Maybe not quite every second_, she thought, glaring at the machina again.

In the shower, she wondered where Auron was, and then realized that he was using the gymnasium to spar with Kimahri.  The Ronso had discovered that he had a lot of spare time, since it was now rather awkward for him to keep watch outside Yuna's door every night.  In her mental background, her brain was going over the machina again, and she had an idea about the programming again.  As soon as she got out of the shower, she slipped on her robe and sat cross-legged on the bed, trying it out.  By the time Auron returned, she was just as frustrated as she had been before, hunched over the machine, a small tool clenched between her teeth, cursing softly and incoherently as she worked.  

She was oblivious to his presence when the door opened, so he simply watched her work, an indulgent smile on his face at first, then it was replaced by an expression that was much more bittersweet, filled with sadness, as well as love.  He understood why the music was so important to her.  He had accepted, long ago, that a guardian's fate was to be forgotten.  He believed that they would be together, in some form, on the Farplane.  It was one of the few beliefs that he had left.  She had told him, back in the ruins of Zanarkand, that she did not believe in the Farplane, she only believed in him.  He loved her, but he thought her belief was misplaced.  She thought the only continuance of her soul would be through her music, and she was trying to ensure that through the machina she was cursing at so vehemently at the moment.

She was still, and would always be, the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.  The silver in her hair, the lines of laughter beside her eyes only added to her allure.  Her robe hopefully served to keep a chill off her back, because it gaped open over her breasts as she bent over the machine.  He removed his coat and armor, making significant amounts of noise as he did so.  He was concerned that, if he startled her, she would swallow the tool she was chewing on.  She finally looked up when he sat on the bed to remove his boots.  "What is the matter with the machina?" he asked cautiously.

She sighed in frustration, and took the probe out of her mouth.  "Daf used to make this look so easy.  It's not.  I wish he were here right now."  She blinked rapidly.

His hand caressed her cheek.  There was nothing he could say that would make this pain any easier to bear.  Gently, he took the machina out of her hands, and tucked it under the edge of the bed.  She opened her mouth to protest, but he could tell it was going to be half-hearted.  "It will still be there in the morning.  Stop for now," he urged.

"It will still be a Zu in the morning," she muttered, as he gathered her into his arms.  There was still some joy to be wrung out of this night.

-----

As planned, they stopped in Bikanel.  The quest to gain the sigil seemed endless, but it was eventually accomplished.  Mercy decided to pass on seeing the wonders of the desert after the first day, and spent the second day practically beating the little machina into submission, and making private recordings of songs that she did not believe she could, or in some cases should, manage to sing in public.  She was not certain Auron would ever forgive her if she sang "Slow Hand" in public anywhere on Spira, ever.  She recorded "Go Insane" as well.  The song had only required one public performance, and that, it had had.  "Moondance" was the most difficult one to sing.  It had always been Dafydd's solo.  When she sang it, she couldn't help but hear his voice in her mind, in her heart.  As she laid down the track of the recording, she promised herself that she would try to sing it for an audience, one more time.  She thought Daf would want it that way.  It was her way of keeping her brother alive, too.

---

Kilika; a visit to Ifrit, then on to Luca, where all the Blitzball games that Tidus and Wakka had played during the journey finally paid off.  Three symbols were lined up over Luca, crest, sigil and weapon; one seek and two challenges.  It turned out to be a package deal, as they all reacted to one another.  Wakka had found the crest in the Aurochs' old locker room, and they collected the weapon from the bartender in the Luca café because she recognized Tidus and Wakka from all the games they had won.  The sigil turned out to be the prize for a tournament that afternoon, and the team they had recruited around the Aurochs won easily.  The weapon awed Wakka, there were still legends about it in Blitzball.  The World Champion was rumored to have been Lord Oholland's.

They collected fiends on the Mi'ihen Highroad, then used the airship to reach a section of Mushroom Rock Road that gave them access to one of the weapons, it turned out to be Rikku's Godhand.  On foot, they traversed the road, hurrying past the site of the disaster named Operation Mi'ihen.  The map led them to a section of Mushroom Rock that had not been accessible during the "operation".  They found a rather battered statue of a warrior standing over a defeated behemoth, in the location marked on the map, but no indication of what they should do.  Lulu, a little paler than usual, said, "This was a quest, correct?"  "Yeah," Tidus agreed.  "Sir Auron, do you remember that rusty sword you picked up, near Yojimbo's cavern?" Lulu asked, trying not to look at him.  "Doesn't it look like the sword in the statue?"  Auron pulled the old blade from his pack, and studied it carefully, comparing it to the statue, then he thrust it into the ground next to the figure, using perhaps more force than was necessary.  Mercy hid her mouth behind her hand, but her eyes danced at his embarrassment.  A symbol appeared on the rock wall, one that opened in the light of the mirror, revealing Lord Mi'ihen's sword, Masamune.

Djose; Ixion, then on the road between the temple and the Moonflow, another weapon quest symbol to investigate.  They had to cut through the undergrowth, halfway down the road before the first bend.  When they cleared away the greenery, they found a statue, a woman this time, mounted on a chocobo, with an open swordcase at the chocobo's feet.  "Who was she?" Yuna asked.  Auron answered, "Lady Atna, founder of the Djose Chocobo Knights."  "I thought she was just a myth," Lulu broke in.  "She was supposed to be either Lord Mi'ihen's daughter, or his wife, wasn't she?" the mage asked.  "She was no myth," Auron answered.  "There were few references to her in the libraries in Bevelle, but there were some.  She was real enough."  Mercy stared at the open swordcase at the feet of the statue, and swung her pack from her back.  "I knew I kept these for a reason," she muttered, as she reached into the bottom, drawing out a crackling package of broken bits of blades.  She opened the wrappings over the case, and shards of two swords, with two hilts and two tangs fell into the waiting receptacle.  With an audible "creak", the case snapped shut, and a mandala appeared on the stone wall next to the statue.  In the light of the mirror, two blades were revealed, one long and one short, inscribed with runes that read, Goro Nyudo.  Mercy took up the wakizashi, compared it to Auron's Masamune, and nodded.  Although the Goro Nyudo were the traditional, slightly curved blades, based on the proportions, the colors of the metal, the hilts, the crafting, everything, it seemed, at least on initial inspection, that all three weapons had been forged by the same hand.  The Masamune was the katana, and the Goro Nyudo were the wakizashi and the tanto of the same set.

---

In Guadosalam, Lulu asked to visit the Farplane alone.  She emerged, after several hours, considerably lighter of heart, with the Venus Crest in her hands.

---

They collected fiends in Gagazet, and on the way to Yojimbo's cavern.  Auron was grateful that Yuna wished to visit all of the fayths again; it provided him with the excuse he needed to visit Yojimbo himself.  When they all stood before the fayth, the swordsman fayth addressed Tidus first, as many of his brethren had done.

"You are a fading dream, but one touched by reality.  Spira will not forget its reality, nor the one who saved it.  Run dream; run on.  Pass beyond the waking and walk into the daylight."

"Yojimbo," Auron called the fayth's name.

"Guardian, would you beg a last boon of Yojimbo?"

"I would ask a question of Yojimbo."

"Ask your question, then, Guardian, and be satisfied with the answer this time," the fayth warned.

"Has everyone played their parts?"

Yojimbo turned to Mercy.  "You know the part you must yet play, Lady?"

"Yes, I know.  I will play it, and gladly."

"Then that, Guardian, is your answer.  Be content with it."

"Sir," Mercy addressed the fayth somewhat hesitantly.

"Yes, child."

"Are you the one who opened the door, that night in Zanarkand?"

"Yes, child, I am"

"Then, I thank you, sir, from the bottom of my heart.  I will not forget you, either."

"Nor I," Auron echoed her.

---

The arena master was extremely happy to see them, especially when he realized that they had nearly completely restocked his training ground.  He rewarded them with two more sigils, Mars and Minerva, Auron's and Mercy's, as well as a number of other interesting items and potions, and an opportunity to fight some of his more ferocious creations.  "I wonder how long before his monsters escape again?" Mercy asked Auron as they left.  "He'll be lucky if that is the worst that happens, considering some of the fiends he has created this time." Auron replied under his breath.

---

Belgemine sent herself when Yuna defeated all of her aeons, but not before she had given Yuna the greatest rewards she had to give, the Moon Sigil, and final aeon, the Magus Sisters.  After they returned briefly to the Macalania Woods to reunite the powers of all their weapons, they were as ready to face Omega as they would ever be.

They spent one night aboard the airship, where Mercy gave another small performance, just to whoever happened to wander in.  It was really more like a practice session that got out of hand, she thought, as someone else tried to cram into the room.  Rin was recording, so she treated it like a concert, trying not to curse at the little machina too often.  _It was doing its best, poor thing_.  She looked at the list of songs she had managed to force feed into the little one's brain, and thought of the three young women sitting in the room tonight, Rikku, Yuna, and Lulu, and began,

You have to hurt, to understand

You have to get by, the best you can

Until you hurt, until you cry

You won't know about love

Or the reason why you have to hurt

---

It took them two weeks to beat Omega.  They had to drag themselves back to the ship twice to heal and rest up before they finally managed to reach the foul fiend and defeat him.  

---

They had all needed a couple of days to rest and to heal before they could face Sin.  Omega himself hadn't been half as challenging as the dungeon that surrounded him.  But, they could only put it off for a little while, Spira couldn't afford for them to take a long vacation.  This would be their last night aboard the airship.  In the morning, they would fight Sin.  Mercy had said something to Rikku about wanting to sing tonight, and Rikku had gone a little overboard on the idea.  Somehow, it had turned into a big concert.

_History repeats_, Auron thought in the shower, remembering Mercy's last farewell concert.  _At least this time, we will leave together_.  He finished shaving and left the bathing room that evening, still naked from the shower, to find Mercy waiting for him, dressed in a complete replica of the clothing she had worn for her concerts in Zanarkand, right down to those laced up shoes of hers.  She smiled mischievously at him.  She found his instantaneous reaction quite…gratifying.  He crossed the room swiftly, and grabbed her with his strong hands, backing her towards the bed.   She laughed, a glorious sound, at the success of her "surprise", before his lips found hers.  

She was keyed up before this concert.  She was always on edge before any performance, and with this one, it seemed, doubly so.   And his touch set her skin on fire.  She tried to keep it light, to tease him, to save it for later, but she didn't think she was going to succeed.  Her hand on his chest now, she brought her fingers down and traced the length of him with one fingertip.  He groaned.  She teased, "I just wanted to give you something to think about, for later."  "Lady, you do that again, it will be now.  And later," he promised huskily.  She did it again.  His questing fingers found the tie on the back of her tunic.  Just like in Zanarkand, when he pulled it, the shirt disintegrated, as they fell onto the bed.  

It was fast and furious, and just like in Zanarkand; there was no time to linger, because she had a concert to do.  "This is all your fault," she said to Auron, as she tried to find her scattered clothes.  "No, it is not.  I warned you what would happen," he said, grinning, as he started to reach for his usual attire.  "Nah-ah." Mercy shook her head. "Your clothes are over there," his wife pointed to something hanging on the back of the door.  He looked, and found a pair of black slacks, and a black collarless shirt, similar to the type he had worn in Zanarkand, waiting for him, a pair of soft black boots on the floor.  "Please?" she asked.

When Auron walked into the long deck that had been prepared as the concert hall a few minutes later, and took his seat, Wakka gasped in astonishment at his attire.  "Sir Auron, wh-what happened to you?" 

The older man replied coolly, "My wife...wished it."  To everyone's complete surprise Auron went on, addressing Wakka in an indulgent tone, "Someday, if you are very foolish, and very lucky, you will understand."  Wakka's mouth opened, and he forgot to close it.  Lulu eventually put her hand under his chin, and shut it for him.

Mercy walked up the stairs, and through the crowd to the end that had been set up as a stage.  As she passed Auron, she put her arm around his neck and kissed him briefly, as she had always done before a performance, and he hugged her, one-armed, as had been usual.  Everyone except Tidus was mildly shocked at their behavior.

Mercy reached the makeshift stage, and used the machina to amplify her voice so that it would reach everyone in the crowd plus those who were tuning in from other parts of the ship.  She knew that Cid, Brother, and another Al Bhed named Buddy were listening from the Bridge.

"Everyone, I want to thank you for being here tonight, to listen to this concert.  I know that the music that I am going to sing for you is not familiar, because it is the music of my home, but you all know what we are going to try to do tomorrow, and it is my fervent hope that Spira will have time for music again when we are done.  So, I would like to share with you the songs that I know, that I love, in the hope that you will enjoy them, too.  Music is the language of the heart; its themes are universal.  I am going to sing of love; and as she said the word, she looked over the audience, and smiled at some of the more obvious couples, including Tidus and Yuna, looked pointedly at Lulu, and smiled at Auron; and of hope; at this, she opened her arms wide to the entire audience, they all had hopes, tonight; and sex; she grinned mischievously at a few couples who couldn't keep their hands off each other, even in public, and winked at Auron, who suddenly had the wild thought, was she going to sing that song tonight, here? and dreams; those lost dreams, faded but not forgotten, and those bright, precious ones that we have found."

And with that, she bowed her head, flipped a switch on the machina, and opened with "Anticipation".

She sang the songs that she loved, the songs that made up the life they had shared together.  She came within a hairsbreadth of singing "Slow Hand", but she resisted the temptation.  She did sing, "All I Want is You", and still saw the steam come out of his ears.  

As the concert wound toward its end, both Auron and Tidus were astounded to hear the opening bars for Dafydd's solo, "Moondance", but Mercy wanted it to be part of this legacy she was leaving, and it was perfect for this night.  In her mind, she could almost hear her brother's clear tenor singing with her, as she poured her heart out into the song.

Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love

Can I just make some more romance with a-you, my love

Well, I wanna make love to you tonight

I can't wait 'til the morning has come

And I know that the time is just right

And straight into my arms you will run

And when you come my heart will be waiting

To make sure that you're never alone

There and then all my dreams will come true, dear

There and then I will make you my own

And every time I touch you, you just tremble inside

And I know how much you want me that you can't hide

One more moondance with you in the moonlight

Can't I just have one more dance with you my love

They would face Sin in the morning.  She did not know if there would be another chance, and she was very uncertain about the nature of the Farplane.  Tonight might be their last Moondance, indeed.  She smiled wickedly at her husband.  They would have at least one more dance tonight.

Then she bowed her head for a moment, and said, "I will close, as always, with Seven Wonders."

So long ago

It's a certain time

It's a certain place

You touched my hand and you smiled

All the way back you held out your hand

If I hope and if I pray

Ooh it might work out someday

If I live to see the seven wonders

I'll make a path to the rainbow's end

I'll never live to match the beauty again

Yuna heard the words of the song, and thought how sad it was, that this person had had their chance at happiness, and had let it slip away, never realizing how much Auron had seen his own emotions reflected in the song, the first time he had heard it, five years before.

Mercy had written a new version of the words at the end of the song for this last performance, to match the gift she and Auron had been given, and repeated the chorus one extra time.

We have lived to see the seven wonders

We've made the path to the rainbow's end

And we have lived, to match the beauty again

At the rainbow's end

End of Chapter nineteen

******Author's Notes:  Please let me know what you thought of the chapter, or of the story so far.  Thanks for reading.


	21. Seven Wonders

Standard Disclaimer. I do not own FFX or the characters in it. They are owned by Square-Enix. I do own this story, and my original characters. The title of the chapter is from the song "Seven Wonders" was written by Sandy Stewart and Stevie Nicks, performed by Fleetwood Mac 

In the morning, they began the assault on Sin. Cid walked over to a computer panel, typed in a few commands, and a recording of the Hymn of the Fayth began playing, broadcast by the ship's machina over all of Spira. As Auron listened, he realized immediately that it was Mercy's voice soaring over all the others on the soundtrack that was now playing. Hers was the only trained voice on the ship. She must have learned the hymn in secret, and made the recording when the rest of them were busy on Bikanel with the cactaurs. He looked, and met her eyes, saw the smile lighting her face. She had done this for him, because this was his world, and he wanted to save it, if he could. His wife, singing for Spira, a place she never expected to see in this life. He had to swallow hard past the lump in this throat.

---

As they entered the Sea of Sorrows, Mercy was suddenly and completely subdued. What if she had been mistaken, all those weeks ago when she thought that she had been inside the coeurl, her spirit intact and separate? What if she had been wrong, what if she really had been the coeurl, what if she had truly been a fiend all those weeks while she waited for the fayth to pull her out? _Would it matter_? She scanned the 'horizon', filled with impatience to know the answer, and dread of finding what that answer would be.

"Whoa," Tidus said. "Check it out," he continued, as he pointed at the large, black, cat-like beast, at the top of one of the rapids. Mercy's eyes met those of the creature, several yards from their position, unreachable except by magic or Wakka's ball. "I don't think I've ever seen a coeurl that color. It's beautiful," Yuna sighed. "But deadly," Lulu cautioned. Wakka began to spin his weapon, preparing for an attack. Mercy put a hand on his arm. "Leave it be, she isn't attacking us. Save your energy for later." Puzzled, he tucked the ball back under his arm. Mercy continued to stare at the beast as if mesmerized. Looking closely, she could see the striped pattern in its fur, black stripes on a black ground, instead of the usual black on white or orange. Its whiskers and tail were dyed crimson, like her belt. She had done this. Her presence, her soul, protected by her will, inside the fiend's body, had done this. If Auron had given way to temptation, or if she had been unable to maintain her spirit, she would have become the fiend, in truth. And when this moment had come, now, she would have thrown herself upon his sword. She shuddered, and turned away.

---

After we disposed of the maniacal Seymour_,_ Yuna finally was able to send him to the Farplane. After all the trouble he had caused, over the entire length of the journey, Mercy had to wonder if that was really such a great idea. _Why wasn't there another option?_ She knew he couldn't remain an unsent. But she and Auron were supposed to go the Farplane. She sure didn't want Seymour as a neighbor, assuming one had neighbors on the Farplane. _Wasn't there some other place Yuna could send the bastard? Or no place at all, just send him to nothingness? The more I learn about this Farplane the less I understand. Yuna just sent Seymour. Will he be just the same as he was here? Won't that be disruptive or something? Or does being sent change people? But I don't want us to change, I want Auron and I to be just the same as we are now!_ _What would happen to them when they were sent?_

---

That night, they settled down into their bedroll for the remaining hours, or at least, they tried to. Mercy couldn't sleep, and she doubted that Auron could, either. It was easier when they had been on watch, but they had had the first shift, and now, it was over, and the darkness closed in on the alcove they had chosen. Kimahri was on watch, prowling silently along the roadway in front of the central recess occupied by Lulu, Wakka, Rikku and himself. Yuna and Tidus were in a separate, smaller niche on the other side. She and Auron were alone.

It was, she knew, their last night in this world, win or lose. In the morning, they would face Sin, and Yu Yevon. Not simply Sin, she admitted to herself, Jecht. Auron's old friend. Tidus' old man. She just couldn't think of Jecht as Tidus' father, not really, because she had never seen him in that role. For the last ten years, Auron had been that, in all the ways that counted.

She was supposed to be dead, unsent. But it just did not fit into her beliefs, her sense of herself. She understood it, intellectually, but emotionally, it didn't register. She still felt alive. Her head, pillowed on Auron's shoulder, was a lot more comfortable than her hip, pressed into the metal of the floor through the thin mat of the bedroll. She remembered her promise to Yojimbo, the part she had yet to play tomorrow. If they won, she must allow herself to be sent, or she and Auron would be parted forever. If they lost, they would both be dead anyway, and it wouldn't matter. She began to tremble; she was afraid. Not of the battle, but of what would come after it.

Her arm was across her husband's chest, her legs tangled with his under the blankets, his arms clasping her tightly against his side. He was as awake as she, unwilling to let this last night pass in sleeping oblivion. He felt her begin to shake, and turned on his side to face her. Her eyes were wide with fear, he hadn't seen her like this in five years, since she had woken from the nightmare and realized that he could not bring her with him to Spira. And yet, here she was.

She snuggled close, to absorb the heat of his body, trying to pretend there was nothing wrong. Mercy buried her face against his chest, got her hands under his shirt to touch his bare skin. They had set aside their weapons, his armor, and their boots, but were otherwise still clothed, and now there seemed to be too many layers between them. He untied her tunic, enfolding her in his warmth. Then he shifted, and tilted up her face to meet his. "What is the matter? Tell me."

"I think I was better prepared in Zanarkand than I am now," she said, somewhat shakily. "I'm afraid that I still believe that this is all there is."

"My lady," he replied softly, stroking her face. "Your belief, or the lack of it, will not affect your ability to reach the Farplane. Yuna will send us after the battle is won. Your soul will not be able to resist the sending."

"And if we lose?" She had to ask.

"We will all be destroyed. I will be able to lead you to the Farplane. All you will have to do is follow me. Trust me," he pleaded.

"Always," she replied.

He could see the fear in her eyes, even in the dim light. He tried to think of something, anything he could to do take it away from her. He let his arm slide back around her, drawing her tight against his chest, feeling her heart beat fast, too fast, seeing her pulse leaping in her throat. He rubbed his nose against hers, trying to coax a smile from her. "It will be all right," he promised, as he kissed her, gently at first, then with increasing urgency. 

She responded eagerly to his kisses, helping to pull shirt over his head and getting her arms out of her tunic. _This is madness_, he decided, but he had no intention of stopping. Mercy understood what was happening; _we are trying to celebrate joy in the face of despair…it is all we can do_. She caught Auron's face between her hands, drew him down for a long deep kiss, and whispered, "Love me." 

He knew she meant both the act and the emotion together, for them they had always been one and the same. "Yes, my lady. Always."

Her fingers found the leather tie that bound his hair, and released it. She ran her fingers through the frosted midnight curtain, as they made love in the long night, found joy and wonder, and matched the beauty, again, and again.

---

In the central alcove, Lulu woke to find Wakka sitting up, staring into the darkness. When she sat up, he placed a finger to his lips and whispered, "Shh, you'll wake Rikku." Lulu pointed to a corner opposite the one where the Al Bhed was sleeping, and they shifted quietly away from the young woman to sit side-by-side in the corner the mage had indicated.

"Couldn't you sleep?" Lulu asked in a whisper.

"Nah. It didn't seem right. I just needed to think about some stuff, ya?"

"I have some things to think about, too. What do you plan to do when this is over?"

"I dunno. Help Yuna, if she needs me. Maybe go back to Besaid. What about you, Lu?"

"The same. But Yuna might not need our help. Maybe we should go back to Besaid together. What do you think, Wakka?" Lulu looked at him questioningly.

"Lu, what are you saying?" Wakka was dumbstruck.

"I'm not sure what I'm saying right now. Maybe that's it. I'm not sure what we should be to each other. But maybe, we should start from where we are now, and not from where we used to be."

"But what about Chappu?" 

"I loved Chappu, but he is dead, and I am not the person I was a year ago, and neither are you. We can't go back, we can only go forward. We both need to stop living in the past."

Hope finally dawned in Wakka's eyes. "Are you saying you think maybe we might have a future, together I mean?"

"We might, if we both stop clinging to the past. What do you think, Wakka?" Lulu's hand reached out to touch Wakka's cheek.

Wakka stared earnestly into her eyes. "Lu, I would do anything for a chance at a future with you. Anything."

He slid his arm around her shoulders, and when she didn't draw away, pulled her close, until her head rested against his chest. She held herself a little stiffly at first, but when he didn't do anything except hold her, she relaxed and let her head drop into the hollow of his shoulder, and her arms stole around his waist. When his watch ended, Kimahri found them, sleeping again, Wakka's cheek resting on the top of Lulu's coiled braids, a smile on his sleeping face.

Kimahri woke them, and tried to compose himself for what remained of the night, but his catnap was disturbed by the sound of someone weeping in the dark. He sat up and discovered young Rikku curled into a ball in her bedroll, crying in her sleep. To the Ronso, she greatly resembled Yuna as a child at this moment, and Kimahri found that he could not bear to leave her in this torment. He decided to treat her as he had Yuna when she had been in this state when young; so he lifted Rikku up in his arms, girl, blankets, and all, and sat himself against one of the walls of the recess, cradling the Al Bhed against his chest and rocking her until she fell into a peaceful slumber, as though she were in truth a child again. He too, was comforted by her sleeping presence, and fell back into a light doze. His last thought was that _no one should be alone this night, not Rikku, not Kimahri. Tomorrow may be good day to die, but night is too lonely in this place_.

---

In the far alcove, Yuna slept with a smile on her face, spooned safely in Tidus' arms. But even in sleep, tears spilled down his face.

---

"You're late, Auron," Jecht said to his old friend.

"I know," Auron replied, somewhat sheepishly. _But not too late_, he thought to himself.

Jecht looked Mercy over, then said to Auron, "Not bad. You got better taste than I thought."

"Glad you approve," Auron shot back, sounding more like his usual self.

Grinning, Jecht turned to Mercy and said, "I hope you enjoyed the ride."

Surprised, Mercy replied, "It was a little bumpy, but thanks for the lift." She smiled coolly at him, not wanting to show him that he had upset her. "I watched you play a few times, back in Zanarkand. You weren't bad." Jecht started to preen a little while she paused. "But Tidus is better," she finished, deflating him completely for a few seconds.

Then he puffed out his chest again and laughed, turning back to Auron. "She must keep you on your toes." Auron wisely said nothing to this. More seriously, Jecht looked back at Mercy again. "You'll do," he stated firmly, nodding to her.

_So this is Jecht_, she thought. _A rogue and a charmer. He knew I was there all along. I wonder which of them he did it for?_

Tidus watched and listened to the banter. He thought it would help prepare him, but it…didn't. His old man finally looked straight at him and said, "Hey."

"Hi," Tidus answered back. Jecht just couldn't get over how much the kid had changed in ten years, but he still couldn't express how he really felt, so he teased him instead. "Hah! You got tall, but you're all bones! You eating right, boy?"

Tidus was silent, thinking, _after ten year; that was all he could think of to say? Not that I did any better_.

Mercy's breath hissed through her teeth. Auron caught her arm, just in case. _Damn you, Jecht_, she cursed silently. _Your son needs better than this from you before you…go._

Jecht was still talking nonsense. "You've really grown," he continued to Tidus.

"Yeah, but you're still bigger," Tidus replied, cursing himself for stating the obvious, for even continuing this stupid, meaningless conversation.

Jecht had to make a joke of it. He still couldn't manage to be serious, yet. "Well, I am Sin, you know." 

Tidus just wanted to get this over with. Seeing his old man again was tearing him apart. He wasn't in the mood for jokes. "That's not funny," he said firmly.

Jecht just laughed, then he finally became more somber. But when he did, he stopped being so glib; he tripped over his words, his emotions.

Jecht sputtered, "Well, then... I mean...you know. Let's end this." 

Tidus choked out, "Dad?"

"Yeah?" Jecht replied, saying it as a question, but he knew what was coming. The way he'd treated the kid, there was only one possible answer. He just hoped that Auron had managed to tell the kid how he really felt, somewhere along the way. _Didn't mean the kid had believed him; he just hoped the kid knew_.

He hated his old man. He really hated him. _Why was it so hard to hold back the tears?_ He had to say the words, the words he'd always promised himself he would say, if he ever saw his old man again. "I hate you."

Jecht seemed to take it in stride. "I know, I know. You know what you have to do."

Subdued now, Tidus just replied, "Yeah."

There was one last thing Jecht needed to say, almost a confession. "I can't hear the Hymn so well anymore. Pretty soon, I'm gonna be Sin. Completely. I'm glad you're here now. One thing, though…when it starts, I won't be myself anymore. I won't be able to hold myself back. I'm sorry."

Still holding back the tears, Tidus realized that this was the first time he had ever heard his old man say he was sorry. For anything. Ever. Maybe Auron had been right. Maybe his old man really had changed. But it was just too much to deal with right now. "That's enough," he cried, dismissing both Jecht's words and his own thoughts. "Let's finish this, okay?"

Mercy knew it wasn't okay, not for him, not for Auron, not even for Yuna, but that it was necessary for the job they were here to do.

Then Jecht said, "Well, then... Let's go!" in that voice that had launched a thousand interviews, back in the day, and he began his transformation into his aeon form. Now that it was too late, Tidus thought of all the things he really wanted to say, all the things he should have said, and he ran towards his father, but Jecht fell backwards over the edge of the platform before his son could reach him. The aeon that emerged from the pit had no humanity in its eyes. It was there to destroy them all. But it resembled Jecht too much for anyone's comfort.

I had been much easier for all of them to talk of killing Sin before they had seen Jecht. Now, it was impossible for any of them to forget that the man who had been speaking with them a few minutes ago was trapped inside the beast that was trying to kill them. Auron kept telling himself that if he were in Jecht's place, he would want them to relieve him of his misery and guilt as expeditiously as possibly. But his own heart bled with each blow he struck. 

Tears choked Tidus' throat, but he held them back. Crying now would only interfere with his aim, and he couldn't afford that. This was his old man he was hitting. _How can I do this? How can I not do this?_ This was what his old man had wanted all along. For him to be here right now. To put an end to this torment. The best he could do was to make it quick.

In his aeon form, Jecht hit them with all he had, but there were eight of them, and together they were very strong, and Omega's Dungeon had taught them many lessons, not least the value of working as a team. It served them well against Braska's Final Aeon. In the end, Jecht lay broken and bleeding in his son's arms, his aeon force spent and his life ebbing away. Dying, Jecht couldn't resist one final jibe. "You'll cry. You're gonna cry. You always cry, see? You're crying," but his tone was soft.

Tears running down his face, Tidus responded, "I hate you, Dad."

With as much force as he could muster, Jecht said, "Save it for later."

Placing his father's body gently on the stone floor, Tidus stood. "Right... We've got a job to do, don't we?"

Jecht spoke to him, pride clear in his fading voice, "Good. That's right. You are my son, after all."

Tidus voice shook with emotion as he replied. "You know...for the first time, I'm glad…to have you as my father." Sir Jecht, High Summoner Braska's guardian, died in his son's arms.

Grief-stricken, Yuna wanted to send Jecht, but there wasn't time, for Yu Yevon was upon them, and the fayth appeared, urging Yuna to call them. Jecht disappeared in a cloud of pyreflies, and Yu Yevon transported the party to a magical construct of his own devising; they seemed to standing on the flat blade of Jecht's sword. Yu Yevon circled the battlefield looking like some kind of malevolent comet, trailing black smoke.

Yuna summoned Valefor, and watched in horror as Yu Yevon possessed her first and most beloved aeon. She thought she saw her own expression mirrored on Valefor's face, just before Yu Yevon's spirit overcame the fayth's completely. Valefor had rescued her in Bevelle. Now it was her turn. Yuna stood shoulder to shoulder with her guardians, and brought the aeon the only release that was possible for her now. Yuna felt as though a piece of her own soul was dying, when they defeated Valefor, but she felt the aeon's release as well, and saw the aeon fold her wings in blessing as she departed. Yuna visibly drooped at the end of the first contest, drained in both body and spirit, grieving for her loss. She felt Tidus' eyes on her, his love supported her, but she felt that she needed to do this alone. She steeled her spine and summoned Ifrit, bracing her heart for the impact of watching Yu Yevon possess his fiery spirit. It was not the battle that was difficult, it was the heartbreak of losing a friend each time, as well as the almost physical shock of having the fayth ripped out of her each time she and her guardians defeated the possessed aeon. She had to keep telling herself it was the right thing to do. Some of the aeons did, as well. Shiva smiled, one last, tight, cold little smile, just before she was dismissed, and Bahamut and Yojimbo both bowed their heads in farewell. Yuna knew that this was what she was supposed to do. But she still wanted to curl up into a ball and cry at the end. Her aeons were gone.

Yu Yevon finally showed his true "face", since the only thing he had left to fight with was, himself. Mercy wasn't impressed. Yu Yevon looked like a kind of blobby purple spider, hanging in mid-air. _I guess he decided he didn't need a body, as long as he had Sin. Unless he's got some pretty impressive magic up his tentacles, he's toast_, she thought. _Can we please toast him slowly? I'm not ready!_

Then Tidus started talking, and Mercy realized that he hadn't learned nearly as many lessons from Auron as he should have about a whole lot of things, especially the ones about how to say, "Goodbye" to someone you love.

"Everyone!" he shouted, "This is the last time we fight together, okay?" 

This was definitely not okay. Everyone except Auron and Mercy was completely confused.

Wakka, articulate as always, just uttered, "Huh?" 

Tidus stepped forward to face Yuna, and said, "What I'm trying to say is...after we beat Yu Yevon, I'll disappear!" 

Lulu as always, sought an explanation. "What are you talking about?" 

Tidus looked at Yuna, and saw the wounded look on her face. He walked past her to Yu Yevon, took out his sword, and readied himself to take on Yu Yevon.

"I'm saying goodbye!" Tidus shouted back to all of them, but he faced away from the party, toward Yu Yevon.

Through this whole speech, Auron had been staring at Tidus over the top of his glasses, mentally revising his estimate of the boy's maturity downward several years. _You're saying you're a coward, my young friend._

Yuna thought she finally understood what the fayths had meant, about the dream, and the dream vanishing, and the dream ending, and discovered that there must have been a few bits of her heart that had still been unbroken after the aeons, because they felt like broken glass in her chest now. _Why didn't he tell me? I love him so much. They had had so little time. It wasn't fair!_

Tidus couldn't stand it. He had to get this over with. He felt so guilty for not telling Yuna before, for telling her now, like this. He didn't ever want to leave, but he couldn't just stand here like this. This battle had to start, now. He struck Yu Yevon.

The battle almost seemed too easy. Over the centuries, Yu Yevon had invested too much of his power in his "armor" and had kept too little for his core self. Looking back, his daughter had been a hell of a lot harder to defeat than he was. With the demise of Yu Yevon, they had been magically returned to the Tower of the Dead where they had fought Jecht. They stared at each other in amazement. They had won. No one was sure whether to laugh, or cry. Most of them were still too stunned by the enormity of what they had just accomplished to be thinking of the future. Mercy was caught between two conflicting desires. She wanted to beat Tidus senseless for what he was doing to Yuna right now, and, she wanted bury her face in Auron's shoulder and beg him to find a way they could have just a little more time. She just wasn't ready to go. She stared at Tidus, and he could practically see her disappointment with him on her face. _I thought we taught you better than that,_ she was thinking. The pain and grief on his face told her that she was right. She looked away.

Tidus didn't know what else he could have done. This was the way it had to be. If he had told Yuna any sooner, she might have tried to save him instead of Spira, and that…would have been wrong. He just wished he would have a chance to make this right, but he knew there wasn't any time.

Yuna knew they had saved Spira. It was over. Sin was gone. Yu Yevon was gone. They had brought the Eternal Calm. She had made the dreams of all Spira come true…at the cost of her own. But she still had one last task to perform as a summoner. She had to send Yu Yevon. She began to dance.

As the pyreflies rose all around her, she saw with stunned horror that some of the pyreflies were coming from Auron and Mercy.

"Don't stop," Auron told her.

"But I," Yuna began, not sure what she was going to say.

"It's all right," Auron tried to reassure her.

"It's time," Mercy added.

Yuna looked into the older woman's eyes, and saw that Mercy and Auron had known this would happen, and were expecting it. She remembered all the things the fayth had said about the dream, and its ending, and knew the truth, that if Mercy wasn't sent, now, she and Auron would be separated forever, because she was part of Tidus' Zanarkand, the dream that was disappearing. Tears ran down Yuna's cheeks, but she nodded her head in grief and acceptance, and Mercy nodded back, sorrow and resolution on her face. _Do it Yuna, please_, Mercy said in her mind and with her eyes. _Wherever and whatever this damned Farplane is, I have to go there, now!_ Yuna resumed her dance.

Mercy turned to Lulu, and gripped Lulu's wrist and felt the clasp returned. They had not always liked each other, but there had been respect, and eventually, understanding. She saw Wakka standing behind Lulu, his hand on her shoulder, and smiled. _Maybe I did help a little, after all_.

She held both of Rikku's hands in hers, as the young woman bounced up and down in distress, squeezed her hands, felt an answering squeeze in return, and let go. She saw Auron thump Kimahri on the chest, a gesture of respect, friendship, an acknowledgement of secrets kept, and obligations more than fulfilled. 

They stood and looked at their friends, meeting each set of eyes one more time. Last, Mercy met Tidus' eyes, smiled gently, and blew him a kiss. He made a show of catching it in his hand, and closing his fist around it, tightly. Then, he brought his closed fist to his chest, and opened his hand, pressing her last kiss into his heart. 

Finally, Auron told the others, "This is your world now."

Then he turned to Mercy, and took her hand in his, and felt that her hand was trembling. He wove his fingers with hers, and let her grip his hand as tightly as she needed to. He tipped her face up to lock her gaze with his, and saw the grief in her eyes. He knew that she thought this was the end. A tear ran down her cheek. He bent, and kissed it away, then pressed his lips to hers in one final, lingering kiss. He drew her close, willing her to let go of her doubt, hoping he had enough time to convince her, before it was too late. Finally, he felt her relax against him, her free hand resting on the back of his neck as he continued to clasp the other in his own. At last, he lifted his head to look into her eyes, and ask, "My lady, do you trust me?"

"Yes, love."

"Then come with me, now."

She swallowed hard, one last time, but then she nodded firmly, and stood by his side, still clasping his hand. And letting go of everything but their love for each other, they stepped off the platform and dispersed in a cloud of pyreflies.

---

Yuna stood at the edge of the dock in Luca, and whistled. Again and again, but he did not answer. _Why didn't he come?_ her heart cried. _He promised!_

Lulu sailed up the dock behind her, and said, "Yuna, it's time." Resignedly, Yuna turned and walked slowly toward the stadium. As she passed through the crowd, she thought she heard Mercy's voice, singing, and she realized that someone was playing a sphere recording of one of Mercy's concerts aboard the airship. She stopped for a minute to listen, and the music washed over her, taking her back to that last evening on the airship, when she had been so happy. She listened again to the woman's voice; surprisingly clear over the noise of the crowd.

So long ago

It's a certain time

It's a certain place

You touched my hand and you smiled

All the way back you held out your hand

If I hope and if I pray

Ooh it might work out someday

If I live to see the seven wonders

I'll make a path to the rainbow's end

I'll never live to match the beauty again

Yuna remembered how she had felt that night, sitting complacently with Tidus' arm around her, feeling sorry for the person Mercy had been singing about, the one who had found love, and had lost it. She shook her head. She had been such a fool. Now, she knew, the person she had felt so sorry for, was herself. _She would make that path. She would find him. She would bring him back. Somehow, she had to find a way. She would just have to 'think of something'._

---

Auron and Mercy stood together, beside the great horseshoe waterfall that marked the visible boundary of the Farplane. Auron placed his hands on her waist, and looked into her eyes. Automatically, she rested her hands on his chest, and looked up at him quizzically, wondering why they were here. "My lady," he said, smiling down at her, "I believe we have arrived." And as he turned her slightly and gestured with his arm, misty colors fell down from the sky to reach the ground at their feet, colors born from the light overhead striking the waterfall. Dark crimson, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, midnight. Mercy threw her head back and laughed as she slid her arms around his waist, tucking herself against his side. "Yes, my love, I think you're right. We're really here." She breathed in wonder. "The rainbow's end."

The End.


End file.
